Teen Girl Squad Issue 8

"We're Kissyboots and it's nice to meetcha!"

The girls join the Battle of the Bands.

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Intercom, Tompkins, Mrs. So-and-so-erson, Floor Tom, Pom Pom, Fatty, Goblins, A Shark, Strong Bad (Easter egg)

Places: The School, Mrs. So-and-so-erson's Walk-in Closet, School Stage, Dressing Room

Date: Monday, January 17, 2005

Running Time: 2:24

Page Title: Soopa Groop

DVD:Everything Else, Volume 1

Transcript

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {top 40 hits!} So and So! {hooked on classics!} What's Her Face! {college radio!} The Ugly One! {listens to pine bark!}

{The girls are sitting at their desks in class. Cheerleader's shirt says "Suga Sweet". Cheerleader's desk has a square of paper, So and So's desk has a lamp on it, The Ugly One's desk has an open book on it, and What's Her Face's desk's legs are bent.}

INTERCOM: And lunch today will be a breadtangle of pizza. Don't forget the battle of the bands this Friday. Tompkins, point your rear end in the direction of the principal's office.

TOMPKINS: {offscreen} Awww, peas!

CHEERLEADER: Y'hear that girls??

WHAT'S HER FACE: Pizza belongs in a triangle!

SO AND SO: {hearts over head and drooling awkwardly} That Tompkins is SUCH a renegade!

CHEERLEADER: {inexplicably drawn wearing a derby, sunglasses, a mustache, a tie, and smoking a cigar} No yous guys! The battle of the bands! {back to normal} We can form a band and become...

ALL: WORLDWIDE STARLETS!!

THE UGLY ONE: Worldwide starlets get much boys!

CHEERLEADER: Or so I have read. Obviously, I'll sing and pretend to play guitar.

WHAT'S HER FACE: Can I not get stuck playing bass?

CHEERLEADER, SO AND SO and THE UGLY ONE: NO WAY!! {What's Her Face frowns.}

SO AND SO: We'll be called "Smartly Pretty".

{a CD case is shown with written on it}

CHEERLEADER: {vomits} Augh! Bleh! Ewww! Grugh! {suddenly sotto voce} No. {cheerfully} We're called "Kissy Boots"!

{a CD case which says "Kissy Boots" and features a huge pair of lips with cowboy boots is shown}

SO AND SO: We can practice after school in my step-mom's walk-in closet!

{Cut to an image of a man carrying a rock that reads...}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: After school!

{Cut to So and So's step-mom's walk-in closet, as evidenced by a large rack of clothes.}

CHEERLEADER: Your step mom has questionable taste.

WHAT'S HER FACE: And like a million jogging suits.

{So and So's step-mother, who bears a very strong resemblance to the Arrow'd Guy, appears from behind the clothes rack.}

MRS. SO-AND-SO-ERSON: YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!

CHEERLEADER: Yes Mrs. So-and-so... -erson.

{Mrs. So-and-so-erson vanishes. The girls' instruments appear: Cheerleader with a guitar, So and So on keyboard, What's Her Face on bass, and The Ugly One on drums.}

SO AND SO: Count us off, The Ugly One.

THE UGLY ONE: One, two, three and a four.

CHEERLEADER: {singing as the other girls play} Ooncha ooncha! One, two, three-cha! We're Kissy Boots and it's nice to meetcha! {music pauses} Ooncha ooncha! {music resumes} One, two, three-cha! Gonna get a breadtangle of pizza!

THE UGLY ONE: 16 hour drum solo! doo do boop bop...

{She starts playing the drums and scatting along, until a large floor tom eats her head.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: FLOOR TOMMED!!!!

{Mrs. So-and-so-erson returns and pours "Ranch Dress" over The Ugly One and the floor tom}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: STEP-MOMMED!!!

{Cut to a romantic dinner setting where The Ugly One, with the drum still engulfing her head, stands opposite Pom Pom, who holds a single rose.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: POM-POMMED??

{Cut to a huge mouth with "BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!" written on its teeth.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!

{Cut to the school auditorium, where the Intercom (mounted on a robot body) stands on stage with a microphone, and a handful of stick-figure heads compose the audience.}

INTERCOM: Alright, give it up for "Fatty's Big Chance."

{A large man, presumably Fatty, with a saxophone and checkerboard pants appears from stage right.}

FATTY: Pick it up! Pick it up! Hup! Hup! Pick it up! Pick it up!

{Fatty vanishes.}

INTERCOM: Next up is "Kissyboots".

{Cut to Cheerleader and What's Her Face, probably back stage. Cheerleader's shirt now says "X-girl". Cheerleader holds a heart-shaped guitar with three necks, and What's Her Face has a bass.}

CHEERLEADER: Where is So and So? We can't play the hits without her!

{Cut to So and So in a dressing room. Her hair is dyed black, and she is wearing a black t-shirt with Strong Sad's face on it and heavy black makeup.}

SO AND SO: I'm going with that gloomy keyboardist look I keep hearing about!

{A group of trolls enters the dressing room.}

TROLL: KRA'AGH! KLEET'OH BRANGH CHE'EKOH TAGHQ?

SO AND SO: My autograph? Why sure!

{A huge multi-sided die lands on her from above.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: TWELVE SIDED DIED!! {without text} Oh, that's rough.

{Back in the auditorium, Cheerleader and What's Her Face are the only ones on stage.}

CHEERLEADER: I'm Kissyboots and she plays bass. One, two, three, and a four!

{They start playing. What's Her Face's guitar suddenly turns into a shark.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: My bass feels seaworthy.

{The shark eats the entire upper half of What's Her Face in one JGHOWMP!}

WHAT'S HER FACE: OW! My most of me!!

CHEERLEADER: {indicating the shark} Dis my new backup band... a shark. One, two, three, and a four!

{Cut to the end title which reads "it's over!". Cheerleader sings over it and the lyrics are shown at the top of the screen.}

CHEERLEADER: It's over! It's over! Strong Bad says it's over! It's over! It's over! Everybody died 'cept me!! {a chomping sound is heard.} Aw, crap!

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click the "o" to see a breadtangle, breadpazoid, breadallelogram, and brhombus of pizza (click each one to see the next. Click the brhombus to go back to the IT'S OVER! screen.)
• Click the "!" to see what happened to Tompkins.

{Tompkins and Strong Bad are in the prinicpal's office. Tompkins is standing to the left of Strong Bad. Strong Bad has a sign on his desk reading "PRINICPAL" and has a Sega cartridge saying "Road Rash". Tompkins is wearing shorts, and has his right hand in his pocket. Tompkins is also wearing a T-Shirt with the word "Truk" and a poorly drawn truck on it} TOMPKINS: Aw, come on prinicpal {pronounced as prin-ick-PAL} Strong Bad. I only stole ONE Sega tape! STRONG BAD: That's just it, Tompkins... You could have stolen UPWARDS of one Sega tape. TOMPKINS: Awww PEAS! STRONG BAD: Kid, I think you're gonna turn out... HG HJHG HAAAALL right!

Fun Facts

Explanations

• "Yous" is an alternate spelling of "youse", the New York Metropolitan Area dialect second-person plural.

Trivia

• This is the first Teen Girl Squad issue where all four girls clearly die.
• This is the first appearance of a main character (namely, Pom Pom, as well as Strong Sad if non-physical appearances are counted) in a Teen Girl Squad issue, outside of an Easter egg.
• This is the first time Strong Bad has made an apparently personal comment during narration.
• This is the first time Strong Bad has read the scene transitions (i.e. "after school") out loud.
• This is the first time that someone other than Strong Bad has said "IT'S OVER!"
• This is the first time someone says the word "crap" in a Teen Girl Squad issue.
• The main stage also appears in both the main email and an Easter egg in death metal.
• Smartly Pretty is spelled using algebra symbols.
• In the Easter egg, each of the pizza shapes is an actual geometric shape: rectangle, trapezoid, parallelogram, and rhombus.
• This is the first of five consecutive issues featuring a Strong Bad cameo.
• The YouTube description for this toon is "TGS competes in the battle of the bands."

Remarks

• So and So appears twice in this issue with two sharp fangs.
• Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One have no chairs by or attached to their desks to sit on.
• During their first practice session, What's Her Face looks like she is playing some odd mix between a Gibson Explorer and a Fender Jazz Bass, and Cheerleader is playing a Gibson V-Factor (more commonly known as the Flying V) with a Fender headstock. Also, the necks and heads of the two guitars are the same.
• In Issue 7 of Teen Girl Squad, the girls tell on Tompkins for "making a swear" when he said heck. In this issue, he says "Awww, Peas!", an example of a minced oath.
• Breadtangle, breadpazoid, breadallelogram, and brhombus are portmanteaus involving bread.
• What's Her Face holds her bass guitar left-handed.
• At the actual Battle of the Bands concert, it's quite clear that the only instruments being played are Cheerleader's three-necked guitar and What's Her Face's bass. However, you can easily distinguish the sound of a drumset being played in the background of the song.
• Cheerleader is supposed to play the guitar; however, in the closet jam, the instrument she is holding has only 4 tuners like a bass.

Goofs

Leather Black? We just call that blue.

• The blue lines on the paper are misplaced inside Tompkins's speech bubble in the Easter egg.
• When Mrs. So-and-So-erson finishes talking, the piano loop overlaps.
• At the beginning, two of The Ugly One's fingers are dark blue, and when she raises her arms they are both colored dark blue.
• The die that crushes So and So is a 20-sided die. Twelve-sided dice have pentagonal faces.

Inside References

• "Ooncha ooncha, one, two, three-cha" and Tompkins debuted in Teen Girl Squad Issue 7.
• The "-erson" tacked onto Mrs. So and So's name is a running gag also previously used on Teen Girl Squad Issue 7.
• Strong Bad is called a "prinicpal" (note the misspelling) by his nameplate and by Tompkins, just like in the Homestar Quiz and CGNU.
• What's Her Face's desk is resting on her lap, which could be a reference to the DVD commentary for the email date.
• When What's Her Face points out that Mrs. So-and-so-erson has "like a million jogging suits", What's Her Face's mouth looks like one of her earlier versions with large lips, seen in the DVD Sketchbook. However, this could just be the way the mouth is filled in.
• Cheerleader's inexplicable change of dress when she says "No yous guys" is similar to what happens to a pile of marshmallows in Meet Marshie (gaining a bowler hat, a mustache, and a cigar).
• When So and So talks about Tompkins being a renegade, she has an expression on her face reminiscent of Doreauxgard in lackey.
• Smartly Pretty is spelled using the pi symbol.
• What's Her Face's title card descriptions are usually meant to portray her as uncool; therefore, the "college radio!" caption probably refers to the email radio, in which Strong Bad described college radio as "utter misery".

Real-World References

• "Or so I have read" is most likely a reference to the Spinal Tap Song "Big Bottom".
• The Sega "tape" (technically a ROM cartridge) Tompkins steals in the Easter egg is "Road Rash". Road Rash was a Sega Genesis/Sega MegaDrive game where you race on motorcycles and knock other racers off their motorcycles by punching them or using clubs.
• One of The Ugly One's drums reads "mr. drummond", a reference to Philip Drummond, a character in the '70s/'80s TV show Diff'rent Strokes.
• Cheerleader's three-necked guitar is a reference to Steve Vai's guitar, which he played in the video for "Just Like Paradise" by David Lee Roth.
• The "16 hour drum solo" brings to mind the epic drum solos of many songs from the classic rock era including Moby Dick by Led Zeppelin and In A Gadda Da Vida by Iron Butterfly.
• Cheerleader's close-up of her with a hat, mustache, glasses, and a tie is similar to that of the Blues Brothers, though the way she says "yous guys" also directs the reference toward Edward G. Robinson.
• The goblins and the gamer's multi-sided die are staples of RPGs such as Dungeons & Dragons.
• The opening quote for So and So "Hooked on Classics" refers to a real compilation album. It consists of classical musical themes set against rock beats.
• Fatty's Big Chance is presumably a ska band, with his checkered pants and the phrase "pick-it-up".
  • This is likely a specific reference to the 1970s British ska band Bad Manners and its fat, shaven-headed singer Buster Bloodvessel. The checkered pants match the standard set by the British ska label Two Tone, on which Bad Manners recorded. Additionally, Bad Manners recorded the song "Lip Up, Fatty".
• What's Her Face's bass transforming into a shark is a reference to the 1997 TV special, "Hey, Hey, It's the Monkees". During a musical sequence, Mike's guitar turns into a shark.
• So and So's wardrobe for the Battle of the Bands is a reference to emo culture.

Fast Forward

I'm floataway crushin'...

• On June 17, 2019, Strong Bad revealed a deleted scene from this issue on Twitter:

{The scene immediately follows Pom Pom's cameo.}

{Cut to Cheerleader with her guitar and So and So at her synthesizer keyboard.}

SO AND SO: That sounded SLOOOW GOOD!

CHEERLEADER: I like boys so much!

{Cheerleader dreamily drifts away. Nebulon's sound effect plays faintly.}

{The rest of the toon continues from the Battle of the Bands title card.}

DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Matt Chapman, Ryan Sterritt, Mike Chapman)

MIKE: So, we got our man Ryan Sterritt up in the house! Ryan, give a shout-out!

RYAN: Yo, yo!

MATT: Um, what is The Ugly One doing listening to pinebark, Mike?

MIKE: Does What's Her Face never have an apostrophe?

MATT: Uh yeah, y— I noticed that this week you added one for number ten. And she usually doesn't have one.

MIKE: {simultaneously} And she's never had one before? I mean, it should have one, right?

MATT: I mean, sometimes "it's over", yeah.

MIKE: Didn't we fix all the "it's over"s?

RYAN: We did, but only two of the nine had apostrophes.

MIKE: On the website?

RYAN: Yes.

MIKE: But on the DVD they've all got 'em. I've finally learned the difference. Because of your Strong Bad's, uh, Rhythm and Grammar song!

MATT: Well, there you go!

MIKE: So... these days, one of the Teen Girl Squad's members almost always has fangs, at some point in the cartoon.

MATT: Tha— that's always Mike. Mike loves to add the fangs. You know that Mike drew those frames if they have fangs.

MIKE: {sotto voce} I drew that. {normal volume} And I played bass! Like— like What's Her Face! I know what she's going through.

MATT: Like Kim Gordon! And—

MIKE: D'arcy!

MATT: Laura! Laura from Superchunk, and D'arcy from Smashing Pumpkins.

RYAN: Jabucks had a girl bass player.

MATT: Did they? Look at that poor guy.

MIKE: {simultaneously} Kim Deal? Girl bassists... I'm not a girl, just to be clear! {laughs} I don't know how we got on girl bass players.

MATT: Hey guys, look at how creepy Mrs. So-and-so-erson is.

MIKE: I remember going to friends' houses and, like, their— the walk-in closet was kind of a fun place to play.

MATT: The, uh— the New You used to play in a walk-in closet I had at the Plaza Apartments! And we played for months and months and months and the day before I moved out was the only day someone came and complained about the noise... which was really surprising. Umm, so, I'm not believing that stuff about a bombing sixteen-hour drum solo, you guys.

MIKE: {laughs} You can't— ha—

MATT: Uh, so now, we've personified that speaker, uh, into some kind of speaker robot.

MIKE: Kinda looks like Screech's best friend robot that's in one episode of Saved by the Bell.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Um, Kevin is his name.

MATT: Yeah. Fatty there, of course, being— representing the ska contingent.

MIKE: Were you ever into ska, Ry?

RYAN: Uh, yeah. Ska punk.

MIKE: Yeah? {laughs} Pick it up, pick it up, BossTones? Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!

MATT: {simultaneously} So what...

RYAN: Yeah. There's some Magadog on— there's some others with other catchy names.

MATT: {sings} Sound system gonna bring me back up right. Op Ivy, guys? That were I first heard "pick it up, pick it up".

MIKE: Eh, Op Ivy?

MATT: Yeah. {laughs} Dis my new band.

MATT and MIKE: Dis Marky... and the Bitsy Boys!

MIKE: So were those people— were those supposed to be people in the foreground?

MATT: {laughs} Yeah.

MIKE: Or black lollipops?

MATT: Oh no.

MIKE: Oh wait, did she die then?

MATT: Yeah.

Fun Facts

• The "Strong Bad's Rhythm and Grammar" song Mike refers to is from local news.
• Kim Gordon, D'arcy Wretzky, Laura Ballance, and Kim Deal are all mentioned as female bassists in alternative rock bands.

External Links

• watch "Teen Girl Squad Issue 8"
• watch "Teen Girl Squad Issue 8" on YouTube
• watch "Teen Girl Squad Issue 8" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "Teen Girl Squad Issue 8"
• forum thread re: "Teen Girl Squad Issue 8"

Teen Girl Squad
Characters	Main: Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One Minor: Arrow'd Guy, The Birds, Brainkrieg, Fighting Growlbacks, The Gregs, Manolios, Mr. Pitters, Mrs. Commanderson, Olympic Man and Coach, Peacey P, Quarterman, she likes cloth, Thomas, Tompkins
Issues	Main: Issue 1, Issue 2, Issue 3, Issue 4, Issue 5, Issue 6, Issue 7, Issue 8, Issue 8½, Issue 9, Issue 10, Issue 11, Issue 12, Issue 13, Issue 14, Issue 15 SBCG4AP: Homestar Ruiner, Cave Girl Squad, Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen Toons: 4 Gregs, Decomposing Pumpkins
Miscellaneous	Locations, Costumes, Fangs, -'d, Ow! My X!, Captioned Transitions
Other	404'd, Neon 404'd, Teen Girl Squadcast, Teen Girl Squad Deaths