Mustaches

"It's curtains for you!"

The characters of Free Country, USA are occasionally seen sporting mustaches of varying styles and shapes, usually as part of a costume or disguise. While most characters' mustaches are impermanent and appear rarely, The King of Town, Old-Timey Strong Bad and the Videlectrix Guys always have them.

Appearances

• The House That Gave Sucky Treats — The King of Town and Homsar's Halloween costumes, Hagar the Horrible and Wimpy, respectively, both have mustaches.
• Email stand-up — Coach Z has a big mustache and an even bigger afro.
• Pumpkin Carve-nival — The King of Town and Bubs's Halloween costumes, Mario and Captain Lou Albano, respectively, have mustaches.
• Homsar Main Page — Rolling over "Characters" will cause Homsar to sport a mustache.
• The box for Bubs' Old Pizza has Bubs on it wearing a mustache.
• Ballad of The Sneak — At one point, a mustache similar to Old-Timey Strong Bad's appears on The Sneak and grows larger in size.
• The King of Town's Character Video — The King claims he has never tried to eat his own mustache.
• 3 Times Halloween Funjob — Strong Bad and Strong Mad's Halloween costumes, Ozone and Magnum P.I., respectively, both have mustaches.
• Wallpapers — On the Homestarmy-themed wallpaper, the evil rendition of The Cheat has a green mustache.
• Email flashback — Old-Timey Strong Bad sends his modern-times doppelgänger half of his mustache as a reward for answering one hundred emails.
• Email theme park — Strong Bad says he's had a theme park in development for as long as he's been growing his own mustache; a 10,000x magnification of Strong Bad's upper lip shows that he has only one single hair.
• That a Ghost — Old-Timey Strong Bad's mustache has a skeletal structure.
• Halloween Fairstival — Strong Bad and Marzipan's Halloween costumes, Cesar Romero as the Joker and Willie Nelson, respectively, both have mustaches.
• Teen Girl Squad Issue 8 — Cheerleader momentarily sports a mustache, tie, bowler hat, sunglasses, and a cigar, making her look (somewhat) like a male.
• Senorial Day — In a scene with two Homestar Runners, one has a mustache, outside the frame of the toon.
• Email record book — Coach Z's afro and mustache from stand-up are seen in the picture where he has the record of longest showerless streak.
• Email lady...ing — Strong Bad says Fabrosi's fake mustache will only attract gold-diggers. In an Easter egg, Homestar wears a mustache.
• Commandos in the Classroom — After being told by Gunhaver to say he has any debilitating Gold Rush-era diseases, Reynold is seen dressed up as a gold miner, complete with a mustache and beard.
• Halloween Potion-ma-jig — Pom Pom and Bubs's Halloween costumes, Walter Sobchak and Apollo Creed, respectively, have mustaches, as does Homestar if, at the end of the toon, he becomes a French version of himself.
• Exaggerations — In the exaggerated scene from A Jumping Jack Contest, the exaggerated version of Strong Bad has a mustache.
• Email retirement — Strong Sad appears as a "bearded lady", and hence has a mustache and beard.
• Happy Hallow-day — Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Pom Pom and Marzipan's costumes, Father Guido Sarducci, Tony Clifton, Mario Batali and Frida Kahlo, respectively, all have mustaches as part of their costumes.
• Teen Girl Squad Issue 12 — The Tines Racer has a handlebar mustache.
• Date Nite — The Cheat has a thin mustache. During Marzipan and The Cheat's date at Marshmallow's Last Stand, Strong Bad, dressed as a chef, also has a mustache.
• Email more armies — When Strong Bad is running a booth to convince people to join the On Point Kings, he is wearing a taped-on mustache. In the On Point Kings brochure, Strong Mad and The Cheat are pictured with him, all wearing taped-on mustaches.
• Quality Time with Cardboard Homestar — Strong Sad has a moustache as he plays the violin.
• Jibblies 2 — Strong Mad, Bubs and The King of Town's Halloween costumes, Nikolai Volkoff, Ross from YCDTOTV and Rev. Al Sharpton, respectively, all have mustaches as part of their costumes.
• Email yes, wrestling — The Cheat, as Mr. Cheatayama, has on facepaint that resembles a mustache and goatee.
• Trogday 08 — After Strong Bad comes to the letter Z in the alphabet, he appears wearing a mustache and a beret.
• Email shapeshifter — An Easter egg depicting the Tire as a weather forecaster shows it with a mustache and wig.
• Homestar Ruiner — One of the items Strong Bad can wear is an Old-Timey mustache.
• Strong Badia the Free — As the player obtains Maximum Awesomeness, the Strong Bad drawing displayed on the "How Much I Rule" chart eventually gains a mustache as part of Strong Bad's fantasy dictator costume.
• Most in the Graveyard — Bubs's Halloween costume, The Junkyard Dog, has a mustache as part of it.
• Dangeresque: Puppet Squad — Baron Darin Diamonocle is played by Shark Tooth Bubs, wearing a cowboy hat and mustache.
• Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — Strong Sad is wearing a mustache as part of his role as The Informant, in extended play, it can even be taken as a costume item.
• Coach Z's 110% — Homestar is seen wearing a fake mustache at the end.
• Doomy Tales of the Macabre — Bubs's Halloween costume, Jules Winnfield, has a mustache as part of it.
• I Killed Pom Pom — Homestar and Bubs's Halloween costumes, Tobias Fünke and Adam Yauch as MCA as Nathan Wind as Cochese, respectively, both have mustaches.
• Email sbemail 206 — Strong Bad applies a mustache to a mirror to trick Homestar into running into it for April Fools' Day. Homestar believes that it's his long-lost brother, Chauncey.
• The House That Gave Sucky Tricks — Homestar, Homsar, and Coach Z's Halloween costumes, H.I. McDunnough, Fidgit, and André 3000, respectively, all have mustaches as part of their costumes.
• Later That Night — Bubs (as Billy Mitchell) and Coach Z (as Kwamé) wear mustaches as part of their costumes.
• Haunted Photo Booth — Strong Sad (as Hercule Poirot) wears a mustache as part of his costume. One of the props in the photo booth is a handlebar mustache, which Coach Z pretends to wear and replaces with bacon.
• Action Cool News-oween Report — Puppet Homestar appears as two different characters, the second differentiated with a mustache.
• 2022 Costume Pack Now Available – Strong Bad's Dr. Crygor costume has a moustache that becomes high definition thanks to DLC. An Easter egg shows a WarioWare-style microgame in which Stave It Off Guy's mustache is shaved.

Screenshots of mustaches

"Kelsey Grammer!"	"It's-a really old"	Prime of his dating year	"His schemes are masterly! He loves catastrophe!"
"I've enclosed half of my mustache therein!"	"...almost as long as I've been growing this mustache."	"GOOD GRAPHICS!"	OLD-TIMEY SKELETON'D!
"No yous guys. The Battle of the Bands!"	MUSTACHIOED!	"Gold Rush era diseases, eh?"	FRENCH'D!
"OOOOOH! A-The Cheeeat."	TINES!	The perfect suitor for a broom	"Oh-a, it's-a me! The chef-a!"
Strong Bad is on point	The On Point Kings, with mustaches	Fancy 'stache and violin	The Cheat has turned insidious
"In case you haven't heard the news, Zee S is for Sucks."	"How about just... Paxto West?"	"Or did you?"	"Looking for information?"
"Hustle for sports!"

Halloween Costumes

"Trick or treat, I'm horrible!"	"I'm the original ladies' man!"	"Sorry, king, but our princess is in another castle..."	"I feel so fine, I feel so elated!"
"No, wait. I'm Ozone. From Breakin'."	"HIGGINS!"	"Hello, kiddies, a-meet the Joker!"	"Try harmonizing with the butternut squashes."
Every guy at a truck stop	"I'm the master of disaster!"	"If I wasn't dressed up as a pretend priest-comedian..."	Him at his 20-year high school reunion
Another food guy	"And kind of a mustache... have... costume..."	"I FORGOT MY RUSKIE FLAG!"	"Marzipan, do you know who I am?"
"I could go for a box of melted king dons myself."	"Grab them cakes!"	"It's the one that says 'Bad business practices'."	"...and then I turned back around, and there was a puddle of Pom Pom at my feet!"
"I'ma set it straight, this Watergate!"	"I'll be taking these Huggies and, uh... whatever cash you got."	"This has been a supreme fish delight!"	"All right, all right, all right, all right..."
"Oooohmmmmm-kay!"	"I think my name is Kwamé!"	"Acch-kue Pwagh-chho!"