Secret identity

"You gotta be firm."

This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the list of Strong Bad's secret identities, see Secret Identities.

Chris from Laramie, Wyoming, asks Strong Bad if he has any secret identities. Strong Bad discusses several options.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, Homestar Runner, The King of Town, Bubs, Marzipan, Strong Sad (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Bubs' Motor Lodge, Trailer Home, Smoky Office, Marzipan's House

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Running Time: 3:44

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD:strongbad email.exe Disc Five

Transcript

{Strong Bad types "strongbad_email.wad" and presses enter.}

STRONG BAD: Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon.

>subject: none >Dear Strongbad,
>Do you have a secret Identity? cause you know that
>would be the kinda rockin' cool thing you'd have.
>Chris
>Laramie, Wy

{Strong Bad sings "Wy" as "why" in a soft high-pitched voice.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Chris, let me be frank. The term "rockin' cool" is so uncool it makes my face hurt.

{clears screen}

STRONG BAD: Okay, now all the "rockin' cool"s are off the screen,

{He shrieks as he realizes what he's typed, and clears the screen again.}

STRONG BAD: They're gone. Those things are vicious. Anyway Frank, I believe your question was about my secret identity. Well, let me ask you this: have you ever seen The Poopsmith and I in the same place at the same time?

{Cut to a wide shot of the computer room. The Poopsmith is standing behind Strong Bad and to his right.}

STRONG BAD: Dun dun DUUUNH! That's right! It is I who dons the crappy orange gloves and shovels—

{The Poopsmith jabs Strong Bad a couple of times with his shovel. Strong Bad stops typing and turns to face him.}

STRONG BAD: What the?! What are you doing here? {shakes his fist a little as he talks} You ruined my scam, man! I was gonna have all of everyone believing that I was you and that the steaming pile of whatsit was really a smoldering pile of money covered in whatsit. How'd you get in here anyways?

{Homestar Runner approaches from the left side of the computer, holding a hamburger.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I let him in. {to The Poopsmith} Here you go. {hands him the hamburger} Oh, {angrily turns to Strong Bad} and you're out of mayo.

{Homestar and The Poopsmith exit toward the left. Strong Bad turns and addresses the camera.}

STRONG BAD: Is there like a sign on my door that says {makes a sweeping gesture} "Wanted: Everyone I hate. Inquire within."?

{The King of Town approaches from the right side of the computer.}

THE KING OF TOWN: I didn't see one.

{Strong Bad utters some frustrated gibberish and turns back to the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {resumes typing} So apparently I'm not The Poopsmith. But I got lots of secret identities. Lately, I've been using this one: Tip Tappers: Expensive Briefcase Carrier. I use Mr. Tappers when I'm on tour and I want to check into a hotel and not be bothered by legions of fans.

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, now labeled Bubs' Motor Lodge, at night. On the sign is a neon caricature of Bubs's head with three neon Z's next to it, each of which light up in cascading fashion. Bubs is wearing a nametag and Strong Bad has with him a briefcase. A sign-in book is on the counter.}

BUBS: And what name will this room be under?

STRONG BAD: Uh, Tip Tappers, please. Unless some girl asks what room Strong Bad's in. And she's at least a seven out of ten. Or uh... {thinks} six if she's naked.

BUBS: That'll be nine hundred dollars Mr. {clears his throat loudly} Tappers.

{Homestar emerges from behind the building, carrying an empty ice bucket, wearing his cinnamon beard, and dressed in a robe, a gold shirt that reads "I ♥ Toxic Waste", and pink bunny slippers.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Is there an ice machine around here?

BUBS: Certainly, Mr. Dee Williams.

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} And then there's Vance Mudgeman. I use that identity when I drop in on my secret second family over in Broiter Grove. Ahh, those kids love Daddy Mudgeman.

{Cut to the trailer home. Strong Bad is sitting in a green armchair watching TV. He is wearing a grease-stained A-shirt and has a couple of days' growth of beard stubble on his face. Kids' laughter can be heard in the background.}

STRONG BAD: {to someone off screen} You get back here with that remote, Jeffrey Beffrey Mudgeman. I'm not afraid to smack— {holds up his glove menacingly}

{Cut abruptly back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Yes, well, you gotta be firm. {clears his throat} And then of course there's the secret identity I use to write my advice column for a popular women's magazine.

{An issue ofScarfgirlmagazine appears from the bottom of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Using the pseudoname Cara Carabowditbowdit, I'm slowly but surely making the girls of the world cooler for all us dudes.

{Cut to the smoky office. Strong Bad sits at an old typewriter, wearing a brown wig with a skull and bone on it.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Dear Buttless in Bedstuy, Sounds like YOU need to play more video games, galpal. And not those girly ones where you pretend to be a dog or a frog neither. I'm talkin' about the explodey ones. The kind that make you dizzy when you play 'em. Then maybe your guy will stop talking about his ex. Eat a Steak, Cara Carabowditbowdit. {He finishes by typing "XOXOXO".}

{Cut to Marzipan's house. Marzipan and Homestar are sitting together on her couch, and Marzipan is readingScarfgirl.}

MARZIPAN: {angrily} This lady doesn't know what she's talking about. And I don't like her pseudoname.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, you're just jealous 'cause she gets all the hot boys.

{A crumpled ball of paper flies in from off screen and hits Homestar in the face.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan, mail's here.

{He reaches down and picks it up.}

MARZIPAN: What's it say?

{Homestar uncrumples it and reads the following. Strong Bad has scribbled over his own name.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "No I don't. Strong Bad." I mean, "Cara Carabowditbowdit."

MARZIPAN: See, I told you.

{Homestar opens his mouth, cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So you see? Secret identities aren't just for superheroes and Garth Brooks anymore. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have several butts to jettison from my home.

{He gets up and goes off to the left.}

STRONG BAD: {grunts from off screen as he throws Homestar}

{Homestar flies across the screen and lands with a thud.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks for having me overrrrr!

STRONG BAD: {grunts from off screen as he throws the King.}

{The King, too, flies across the screen and lands with a thud.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Worst mayonnaise party everrrr!

{The Poopsmith walks across while being prodded all the while by Strong Bad using a fondue fork.}

STRONG BAD: Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

The Poopbad or The Strongsmith?

• After Strong Bad says "Laramie, Why?", click on the phrase to get a book of the same name, written by Beverly and Lem Sportsinterviews.
• After Strong Bad types "So apparently I'm not The Poopsmith," click on "The Poopsmith" to see a picture that is a cross between The Poopsmith and Strong Bad, with Strong Bad's head and feet, The Poopsmith's mouth and body, and a mix of Strong Bad's and The Poopsmith's gloves.
• While Strong Bad is checking in to Bubs' Motor Lodge, click on the reservations book to see it up close.
• Click on the Lappy's screen at the end to see a scene with Marzipan, Homestar, and Strong Sad.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Maybe I should get me one of them pseudonames. STRONG SAD: {hyperactive, leans in from the left side of the screen} It's "-nym"! It's "-nym"! It's pseudonym! Not pseudoname! I can't take it anymore! Nym nym nym! It's a Greek word for "name"! Pseudonym! Pseudonym! {leans back out}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Bedstuy is short for Bedford-Stuyvesant, a neighborhood in the New York City borough of Brooklyn.
• A daemon, sometimes called a service, is a background process that serves an important function in a computer system. Common uses for daemons include such things as sending email or running web and FTP servers.
  • The word "daemon" can be correctly pronounced "DEE-mon" (just like "demon"), or "DAY-mon", similar to how Strong Bad pronounces it in this email.
• "Pseudoname" is a common misspelling of "pseudonym", a fictitious name used as an alternative to one's legal name. As Strong Sad suggests, "pseudonym" is derived from the Greek word for name, ὄνυμα onyma, which gives rise to the combining form -onym in English.
• A cowboy is featured on the cover of "Laramie, Why?" because Laramie is a popular setting for westerns. The book cover may also refer to Laramie Cigarette advertisements, which often feature a simple red/white border color scheme with an image of a cowboy in a relaxed pose.

Trivia

• Bubs's marquee reads:

>BUBS' MOTOR
> LODGE
>FORMERLY BUBSO'S CONCES5ION STAND

• Bubs's nametag reads:

>My Name
>BUBS

• Marzipan's issue of Scarfgirl reads:

>Scarfgirl
>fashion AND environment stuff     feb.
>
>is politics bad?
>HYBRID CARS!!
>CELEB SHOCKERS!
>A PURSE!

• The Easter egg with Strong Sad was added several hours after the initial release of the toon.
• The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "sam and max".

Bubs' Motor Lodge Registry

• Bubs' Motor Lodge Registry reads:

one double - mr. allan poe
                       PAID!         queen suite - ms. cousteau
one king - mr. boyardee                                           PAID!
                       PAID!         smelly cot - mr. five freddy
posh suite - mr. chamberlain                                DISCO TAPE!
                     COMPED!         one racecar bed - mr. dee williams 
one grill - mr. tesmacher                                   PAID TWICE!
            PENCIL SHAVINGS!

For the identities of the people in Bubs's Sign-In Book, see Secret Identities.

Remarks

• The sound when the Poopsmith is poking Strong Bad with his shovel and when Strong Bad is poking the Poopsmith to make him leave is the "Droplet" error sound from the old Mac OS.
• Strong Bad and The Poopsmith have actually appeared together several times in the past, most notably in big white face, haircut, Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon, and at the end of most holiday toons.
• If he is to be believed, then Strong Bad is apparently the only main character to have offspring, his second family as Vance Mudgeman. The only other main characters who may possibly have had kids are the King of Town (who originally would have been Marzipan's father) and Coach Z (who implied that he was a mother in garage sale). However, given Strong Bad's propensity for scams and cons, it's entirely possible that the Mudgeman children are not actually his.
• If the Mudgeman trailer is the trailer in portrait, then the setting has apparently changed since then. In that email, there was a portrait of Strong Bad to the left of the "Born to be Danged" poster, and the moose lamp at the right was originally on the left, and was broken.
  • Also, the moose lamp was slightly taller in portrait.
• In the Easter egg at the end, Homestar states that he would like a pseudonym, even though earlier in the toon, Bubs refers to him as Mr. Dee Williams, implying that he has already been using one.
• When Strong Bad is opening his email, he opens it as a .wad instead of a .exe.
• Strong Bad's typewriter only makes a carriage return sound once every three lines, even when typing the header and signature.

Goofs

• Strong Bad commits a common grammatical error, called hypercorrection, by asking "Have you ever seen The Poopsmith and I...?" Because it is in the predicate of the sentence, the phrase should be "The Poopsmith and me." In simpler terms, the sentence should make sense by itself when either "the Poopsmith" or "me" is omitted.
• In the Easter egg when Strong Sad says "it's pseudonym", there is a dot by his lip.

Fixed Goofs

• When the email was first released, the name in Bubs's register that reads "mr. allan poe" was incorrectly spelled as "mr. allen poe", a common misspelling of the name of American author Edgar Allan Poe. This was corrected later in the day.

Inside References

• The book title "Laramie, Why?" is a reference to the similar title "Eww, Claire!! Why???" from origins, which was also written by Beverly Sportsinterviews.
• The room in which Vance Mudgeman is sitting (with the moose lamp and "Born to be Danged" poster) is in a double-wide trailer, first seen in the email portrait. The moose lamp is probably a reference to Homestar's "moose lamp" in the same email.
• "BUBSO'S CONCES5ION STAND" is a reference to geddup noise.
• Strong Bad prods the Poopsmith with a fondue fork to encourage him to leave. Homestar has borrowed Strong Bad's fondue set at least twice.
• Bubs's name tag is a reference to Puppets on the Road, where Shark-Tooth Bubs says, "My name Shark-Tooth Bubs."
• Bubs accepted pencil shavings as legal tender in lackey, as he does here, as evidenced by his guestbook.
• Homestar's bathrobe and slippers were introduced in caper, as was his cinnamon beard.
• Strong Bad mentions that his secret family lives in Broiter Grove, a town also found on the back of the discontinued Limozeen concert T-shirt.
• Whaddaya Know, Haddi-Man? is playing on the TV in the Mudgeman home.
• This email contains an instance of Hyperactive Strong Sad.
• This is another reference to steak.

Real-World References

• "strongbad_email.wad" and "Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon" are homages to Doom, the former specifically being a reference to that game's WAD files.
• The mention of Garth Brooks is a reference to his 1999 rock & roll alter-ego, Chris Gaines, which he assumed for a movie deal that fell through.
• Homestar's I ♥ Toxic Waste shirt and pink bunny slippers are references to the movie Real Genius.
• The name Jeffrey Beffrey could be a literary nod to the Goose from Charlotte's Web by E. B. White. The Goose called her son "Jeffrey-Effrey" in her unique rhyming speech.
• The name Tip Tappers may refer to Tip Tipping, a 1980s stuntman who acted in many famous productions, including Doctor Who and Indiana Jones.
• Buttless in Bedstuy is a reference to the convention of signing letters to advice columns as "(adjective) in (location)", and may be a direct reference to the movie Sleepless in Seattle.

Fast Forward

• Strong Bad's Cara Carabowditbowdit wig is a costume item in Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People.

DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Homestar Runner, Mike Chapman)

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} This time it's me! This time it's me! This time it's me! This time it's me!

MIKE: Great!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That was my Strong Bad Email intro song. It's called, "This Time It's You".

MIKE: {laughs}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: In parentheses: "(This Time It's Me)"

MIKE: Homestar, settle down.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What?

MIKE: This email talks about secret identities. Now, do you have any secret identities?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, ye — no — s! {finishes with a hissing 's' sound, as though the word "no" interrupted the word "yes"}

MIKE: {laughs}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You see, I interrupted my "yes" with a "no" in the middle.

MIKE: Y-E, dot, dot, dot. Yeah, okay.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. Okay, "rockin' cool". So, now let's talk about "rockin' cool".

MIKE: Uh, "rockin' cool"?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So, why would he try and convince people that he's The Poopsmith — the poop digger?

MIKE: The poop digger?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What kind of scam?

MIKE: Um, he was gonna make millions.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: How was he...

MIKE: {talking over Homestar} It was a pyramid scheme, I think.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ohhhhh.

MIKE: Yeah, so...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {talking over Mike} I get — I get into those all the time!

MIKE: It's like, you get people to think that you're The Poopsmith, and then once they believe it they get other people to believe that they're The Poopsmith.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {talking over Mike, Mike becomes untillegible} Ooh! Look at that sandwich I made The Poopsmith! I think it was — I think I made him a McRib. {pause} You know, I — I should probably stop making copies of his keys, from Strong Bad's house and giving 'em out at parties.

MIKE: Where'd you get the first one?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, I think I made it from soaps.

MIKE: {laughs}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I fashioned it out of soaps.

MIKE: And then you were able to make copies out of it?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah!

MIKE: Wow!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah! Soap —

MIKE: Soap key copiers?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes!

MIKE: All right.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's true. I wish Bubs' had that sign again. I remember coming home from trips, you know, like, you'd be out on the road —

MIKE: Uh huh.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: — and then you'd pass by Bubs' Motor Lodge and that little sleepy Bubs would be zzz-ing {pronounced zeezing} at you.

MIKE: Look who it is!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh!

MIKE: What's your shirt say?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I love toxic waste.

MIKE: {laughs}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's like, Chris Knight's from Real Genius.

MIKE: {laughs} Ohh.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I always sign in my alias as Mr. D. Williams. {pause} Who are those kids? Do you hear those kids?

MIKE: I do. That's Jeffrey Beffrey Mudgeman. {laughs as he says the name}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That kid needs to shut his mouth! Jeffrey already knows his ABCs. Hit the deck! {pause} Hey, that — I know that lady!

MIKE: {laughing} You do?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah!

MIKE: Who is it?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I don't know.

MIKE: {laughs}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Some lady. {pause} Um, so, let's talk about scarfgirls, Mike.

MIKE: Uh, "Scarfgirls" has made a resurgence in the last few years.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, it's seems like they used to just live in Athens, Georgia.

MIKE: {laughing} Now they live everywhere.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now they're all over the place. They wear large scarves, they like to knit.

MIKE: They knit, and —

HOMESTAR RUNNER: They're pretty eco-conscious.

MIKE: Yeah.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: They probably have their own business. At least their own blog!

MIKE: {laughs} Is Marzipan a scarfgirl?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You know, she's kind of a hybrid.

MIKE: {laughs} She's kind of got some scarfgirl elements, but —

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, she's got, like, part of gasoline and part electric. More. {pause} Yeah, I remember getting that mail! It was weird! It was the one day the mailman mailed mail by throwing paper balls at me. He never does that no more.

MIKE: No?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Who is the mailman in our town, anyways?

MIKE: Uh, I'm gonna guess — Coach Z?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You think so?

MIKE: Oh, I don't know.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Maybe so. Ooh, jettison! The Jettisons. I love that cartoon. {pause} Do you like Sam & Max?

MIKE: I do. I like mayonnaise parties, too.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I have to go to the bathroom.

MIKE: I don't like mayonnaise anymore after I got some fried shrimp covered in mayonnaise at a Thai restaurant.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ewww.

Fun Facts

• The McRib is a sandwich from McDonald's made from boneless pork and barbecue sauce on a bun, with onions and pickles added.
• A pyramid scheme is a non-sustainable business model that involves the exchange of money primarily for enrolling other people into the scheme, usually without any product or service being delivered.
• Chris Knight is the character played by Val Kilmer in the movie Real Genius.
• "The Jettisons" is a reference to The Jetsons.

External Links

• watch "secret identity"
• watch "secret identity" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "secret identity"
• forum thread re: "secret identity"