Unused emails

"No, man. That's a short."

Strong Bad explains what happens to all the unused emails he gets every week.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Bubs, Strong Mad

Places: Computer Room, The Stick, Strong Mad's Room

Computer: Compy 386

Date: Monday, March 3, 2003

Running Time: 1:38

Page Title: Compy 386!

DVD:strongbad email.exe Disc Two

Transcript

STRONG BAD: Oooh! Check it out! Another one of those...sbemails!

{reading}

>Hey Strong Bad,
>I was wondering what you do with the
>emails that don't get showed on the
>weekly email.
>
>Dan Chase,
>Aurora, Illinois

{Strong Bad stops and says "Hey!" after reading "Hey Strong Bad," and pronounces Illinois as "Illi-nwah" (in other words, with a French accent)}

STRONG BAD: Ahh... {typing} Wha-hoah, Dan. You mean what do I do with the thousands and thousands of near unreadable emails I get every day? I like to mix it up!

{Cut to The Cheat carrying some papers, organizing them into huge stacks}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Sometimes I give them to The Cheat for filing. And archiving.

{The Cheat sticks an email in the "Medium" category. Strong Bad sticks his head in the screen.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: No man, that's a short.

{The Cheat shrugs, and attempts to retrieve the email, but is too short to reach the top of the pile. Cut to Strong Bad and Bubs standing at the stick, facing away from each other. Strong Bad has a CD labeled "The Goods", Bubs has a bag of cash labeled "The Payoff".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Or if I'm strapped for cash, I'll sell the email addresses to Bubs for use in his free weekly spamvertisements.

{Strong Bad drops the CD}

STRONG BAD: Oops! Lookit that! I dropped a CD of five-thousand email addresses!

{Bubs throws the bag of money on the ground}

BUBS: Whoops! I dropped a quarter for each one!

{Cut to Strong Mad crumpling up papers}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And sometimes I give them to my big brother Strong Mad, for the Japanese art of paper-folding.

{Strong Bad walks on screen}

STRONG BAD: So, how are your origamis? Is that one the crane?

STRONG MAD: {holds up one crumpled ball of paper} THIS IS A LOTUS FLOWER! {holds up another} THIS IS A PRAYING MANTIS!

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, that's great, man. {sniffs} Incredible likeness.

{Cut back to Strong Bad in front of the computer}

STRONG BAD: {typing} But mostly the emails I don't use just get... {stops typing and stands up, backing up slowly} A-digga...a-digga...a-digga-digga...a-digga...a-diggity... {starts running back toward the desk} DIGGITY DIGGITY DIGGITY DIGGITY A-DELETEEEEEED!!!!!! {jumps and does an elbow drop on the keyboard, breaking the desk in half. The stool tips over and the floppy disk container flies off. There is a short but notable pause before the Compy responds.}

>DELETED!!

STRONG BAD: Ohhhhh... I think I broke my clavicus... majorus.

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

Grossly Overweight??? Need A New Porch??!!?

• During the scene of The Cheat with the three stacks of emails, click on the top of each pile for a sample of some emails.

>Dear Strong Bad,
>why don 't you do that thing?

>hey i like ur e-mail and games i am stephanie and i am
>10/f/nj and i play baseball cheerleader
>
>from stephanie
>
>poobears

>Dear Strong Bad,
>This is my best one. Do you like it! I hope that you
>do.

>HOW DUMB IS IT BEING A DUMB ROBOT. I AM GLAD YOU ARE A
>ROBOT NOT ME. GO AND KILL ANY ONE YOU HATE.
>
>YOUR NOT BIGGEST FAN
>EVAN

>Dear Strong Bad,
>I tried to email you twice yesterday. You didn't email
>back. 'Sup wit dat? I'm out like that.

>Do you have a monkey if you do you are crap. If you
>don't are still crap so leave me alone crap head. Stop
>making me right this stupid crappy letter to you. So
>buy craphead uh I mean crapface wait no crapnose
>rrrrrghhh whatever you are stupid and have an ugly
>butt and your stupid and a piece of crap. Oh yeah your
>also stupid.
>
>sincerely, me Andrew Shapiro
>
>PS: Your still crap and always will be crap. And
>please kill hamesturrunner please PLEASE PLEASE
>PLEASE.
>Bye bye.

• Click on the top of Strong Mad's pile of emails for another look at the emails Strong Bad gets.

>Dear, Strong Bad
>Do you enloy reasing?

• At the very end, click on the words on the Compy's screen to bring up Bubs' Weekly Spamvertisement.

>Bubs' Generous Weekly Free Spamvertisement
>To: squealydee678@kindergartencop.edu
>From: bubs@homestarrunner.com
>cc:
>Subject: Re: Grossly Overweight??? Need A New Porch??!!?
>
>This new herbal supplement is healthy and JUST
>WHAT YOU NEED!! Tired of losing sleep over
>monthly payments? Below average performance
>got you down? Slink on over to Bubs' Concession
>Stand and try to see if you can believe your eyes.
>THIS IS NOT A JOKE!! THIS IS REAL!!! It
>happened to my friend's roommate. If you are lucky
>enough to send this to 50 real live people before
>morrow last, a dream getaway can be yours forever.
>CONFIDENTIAL E-MAIL!!
>If you received this e-mail in error, it must be your lucky day. To be removed from this
>list, simply forward this to 50 people.

• Click on the picture of the product in the Weekly Spamvertisement to see more products from Bubs.
  • The products are:
    • A plastic tape dispenser
    • A small cup of ketchup
    • A jar of three-bean salad

Fun Facts

Explanations

• "It happened to my friend's roommate" in the Spamvertisement probably refers to chain letters, which usually involve mentioning some type of miracle happening, saying that "it happened to this person," and telling the recipient to send the email to a number of people in order for it to happen to them.

Trivia

• The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "friendly ware".
• Spamvertisement is a portmanteau of spam and advertisement.
• The quarters that Bubs gives Strong Bad in exchange for the email addresses total $1,250 ($0.25 × 5,000), and would weigh 62.5 lbs.
• The YouTube description for this email is "What does Strong Bad do with all the emails he doesn't check on his email show? Watch this episode of his email show to find out!"

Remarks

• This is the first time Strong Bad, or any other character, uses the abbreviation "sbemail".
• Illinois was originally founded by the French, so Strong Bad's pronunciation is legitimate.
• Since Strong Bad clearly reads his emails on-screen using "strongbad_email.exe," it's curious as to why he would print out the bad ones before giving the pages to The Cheat or Strong Mad.
• The paper used for the printed emails is regular copy paper, as opposed to the kind used for The Paper's printer.
• This is the first time Strong Bad has been seen with CDs. Exactly how he managed to save the email addresses onto the CD is uncertain, as the Compy 386 does not appear to have a disk drive.
• Bubs is unusually short in this email. He's about Strong Bad's size.
• There is a gap/small skip between "give them to my" and "big brother Strong Mad", hinting that The Brothers Chaps used two takes and spliced them together.
• Although Strong Bad deletes the email, it can still be seen on the screen afterwards.
• The a> prompt is missing from the back button.
• The email address "bubs@homestarrunner.com" does not exist.

Goofs

• When Strong Bad is about to fall on the table, the floppy disk container disappears for half of a second, then reappears.
• When Strong Bad breaks the table in half, the legs don't move. Unless the wooden legs have unusually flexible joints, the legs should have slanted at the same angle as the broken halves.
• While the Spamvertisement Easter egg is open, The Paper and the text on the Compy's screen can still be clicked on through the email window.

Inside References

"I think I broke my clavicus... majorus."

• Strong Bad's "clavicus... majorus" line was originally to be used in the unfinished toon Tis True, Pom Pom, Tis True.
• Strong Bad pronounces "Illinois" with a heavy French accent, similar to how he pronounces "croissants" in 3 wishes and action figure.
• A part of Andrew's email, "you are stupid and have an ugly butt", is based on a song from Strong Bad Sings, "You've Got an Ugly and Stupid Butt".
• When Strong Bad runs toward the computer he passes the same door and window about four times, as in gimmicks, when the Tandy 400 explodes.
• Strong Bad dives onto and through the table, a rather well-known technique in professional wrestling.

Real-World References

• When Strong Bad is running to his computer, the background repeats several times, a time-saving animation practice used in old cartoons such as The Flintstones.
• "Clavicus" is a play on the clavicle (also known as the collar bone).
  • The word majorus doesn't actually exist in Latin: the form of the adjective major that agrees with an -us ending such as clavicus is simply major. The similar sounding majoris does exist, though, but only when used as a possessive.
• The email address the Weekly Spamvertisement is directed to (squealydee678@kindergartencop.edu), a reference to the Arnold Schwarzenegger film Kindergarten Cop.

Fast Forward

• The "Digga-Digga-Digga... DELETED!" line is (almost) used again in car.
• An email address ending in "kindergartencop.edu" also shows up in technology.
• The line, "Slink on over to Bubs' Concession Stand" in the Easter egg is similar to a line used in retirement.
• Another example of Strong Bad's near-incredible jumping ability is seen in pop-up.
• Strong Bad is again asked if he "enloy[s] reasing" in sbemail 206.
• FriendlyWare, the game that appears in the floppy disk container, will later be featured in Disk 4 of 12 - FriendlyWare and Disk 4 of 12 - FrienDendum.

External Links

• watch "unused emails"
• watch "unused emails" on YouTube
• watch "unused emails" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "unused emails"