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Crime and Punishment: Difference between revisions
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<!-- Mirrored from Homestar Runner Wiki (hrwiki.org) via Wayback Machine | <!-- Mirrored from Homestar Runner Wiki (hrwiki.org) via Wayback Machine --> | ||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/3/37/Paydort.png/180px-Paydort.png | |||
''"Who's gonna steal a pair of half-eaten choco-pants?"'' | |||
Despite its very low population, [[Free Country, USA]] has a high rate of petty '''crime''', and few officials to enforce '''punishment'''. | Despite its very low population, [[Free Country, USA]] has a high rate of petty '''crime''', and few officials to enforce '''punishment'''. | ||
== Crime == | |||
=== Strong Bad === | |||
== | |||
While not a proper villain anymore, Strong Bad has committed more crimes than the rest of the characters put together. | While not a proper villain anymore, Strong Bad has committed more crimes than the rest of the characters put together. | ||
| Line 64: | Line 14: | ||
''See main article: [[Crimes Committed by Strong Bad|Crimes committed by Strong Bad]]'' | ''See main article: [[Crimes Committed by Strong Bad|Crimes committed by Strong Bad]]'' | ||
=== Homestar Runner === | |||
== | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/3/3e/HR_trash_can.PNG/180px-HR_trash_can.PNG | |||
''"Garbage. Garbage. Rubbish. Umm... Murder weapon?"'' | |||
Whether due to Strong Bad's influence or his own stupidity, Homestar has had a few brushes with the law. | Whether due to Strong Bad's influence or his own stupidity, Homestar has had a few brushes with the law. | ||
| Line 94: | Line 28: | ||
* Email [[bike thief]] — Homestar attempts to steal Strong Bad's [[Lappy 486]]. | * Email [[bike thief]] — Homestar attempts to steal Strong Bad's [[Lappy 486]]. | ||
* [[Homestar Ruiner]] — [[Duplicate Characters|3 Different Homestars]] squat in the [[House of the Brothers Strong]]. | * [[Homestar Ruiner]] — [[Duplicate Characters|3 Different Homestars]] squat in the [[House of the Brothers Strong]]. | ||
* [[Place Ya Bets!|Place ya bets!]] — Homestar plots to blow Strong Bad up until Strong Sad points out his | * [[Place Ya Bets!|Place ya bets!]] — Homestar plots to blow Strong Bad up until Strong Sad points out his "dynamite" is a bunch of candles with a drawing of a clock taped to them. | ||
* [[Baddest of the Bands]] — With Strong Bad's help Homestar cheats at auditions for Pom Pom's band then later with Pom Pom's help cheats at the Battle of the Bands. | * [[Baddest of the Bands]] — With Strong Bad's help Homestar cheats at auditions for Pom Pom's band then later with Pom Pom's help cheats at the Battle of the Bands. | ||
* [[I Killed Pom Pom|I killed Pom Pom]] — After Homestar thinks he's killed Pom Pom he tries to dispose of the body and frame Strong Sad and Marzipan for the | * [[I Killed Pom Pom|I killed Pom Pom]] — After Homestar thinks he's killed Pom Pom he tries to dispose of the body and frame Strong Sad and Marzipan for the "murder" before mistakenly, actually killing Pom Pom, trying to get rid of his ghost. | ||
* [[Haunted Photo Booth]] — Homestar, at the request of Marzipan, steals a photo booth from a wedding. | * [[Haunted Photo Booth]] — Homestar, at the request of Marzipan, steals a photo booth from a wedding. | ||
=== The Cheat === | |||
== | |||
True to his name, The Cheat has helped Strong Bad and several other characters to cheat at various sports and activities. He has also assisted with various, more heinous crimes. | True to his name, The Cheat has helped Strong Bad and several other characters to cheat at various sports and activities. He has also assisted with various, more heinous crimes. | ||
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''See main article: [[Cheating]]'' | ''See main article: [[Cheating]]'' | ||
==== Assisting Strong Bad ==== | |||
=== | |||
* [[The Luau]] — The Cheat helps Strong Bad's theft of wood from Marzipan. | * [[The Luau]] — The Cheat helps Strong Bad's theft of wood from Marzipan. | ||
| Line 118: | Line 50: | ||
* [[Best Caper Ever]] — The Cheat and Strong Bad somehow strand Homestar in the Arctic, a process that started with The Cheat peeing in Homestar's [[Melonade]]. | * [[Best Caper Ever]] — The Cheat and Strong Bad somehow strand Homestar in the Arctic, a process that started with The Cheat peeing in Homestar's [[Melonade]]. | ||
==== Other ==== | |||
=== | |||
* Email [[lackey]] — The Cheat tricks Bubs into accepting pencil shavings as legal tender. | * Email [[lackey]] — The Cheat tricks Bubs into accepting pencil shavings as legal tender. | ||
* [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2]] — The Cheat tries to prank call Marzipan. | * [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2]] — The Cheat tries to prank call Marzipan. | ||
* [[Homestar Ruiner]] — The Cheat puts a bomb in a paper bag marked | * [[Homestar Ruiner]] — The Cheat puts a bomb in a paper bag marked "Coach Z" after the coach comments on him being unsportsmanlike. | ||
* [[A Death-Defying Decemberween]] — The Cheat assists Homestar's attempt to injure himself sledding down the Steep Deep. | * [[A Death-Defying Decemberween]] — The Cheat assists Homestar's attempt to injure himself sledding down the Steep Deep. | ||
* [[Homestar Runner Goes for the Gold|Homestar Runner Goes For the Gold]] — The Cheat keeps [[Dijjery Doo]] locked in a box in Homestar's shed. | * [[Homestar Runner Goes for the Gold|Homestar Runner Goes For the Gold]] — The Cheat keeps [[Dijjery Doo]] locked in a box in Homestar's shed. | ||
=== Strong Sad === | |||
== | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/c/c4/Strong_Sad_Coach_Z_Fight.png/180px-Strong_Sad_Coach_Z_Fight.png | |||
''"Hey Coach Z! Hey Coach Z! Whaddya got for me?"'' | |||
Usually very passive and accepting of his life; Strong Sad has lashed out on occasion. | Usually very passive and accepting of his life; Strong Sad has lashed out on occasion. | ||
| Line 154: | Line 69: | ||
* Email [[rough copy]] — Strong Sad pelts Strong Bad and The Cheat with snowballs that he put in the freezer when he was eight years old. | * Email [[rough copy]] — Strong Sad pelts Strong Bad and The Cheat with snowballs that he put in the freezer when he was eight years old. | ||
* [[DNA Evidence]] — Strong Sad conspired to steal his DNA evidence while under the guise of investigating it to keep anyone from knowing if he's part elephant or hippo. | * [[DNA Evidence]] — Strong Sad conspired to steal his DNA evidence while under the guise of investigating it to keep anyone from knowing if he's part elephant or hippo. | ||
* [[Record Store Day]] — Strong Sad freely admits to | * [[Record Store Day]] — Strong Sad freely admits to "creeping" Sloshy albums out of the band members' girlfriends' trash. | ||
=== Strong Mad === | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/6/6c/Halloween_papering.png/180px-Halloween_papering.png | |||
''"That's not really the conventional way to roll a house."'' | |||
* [[A Jumping Jack Contest]] — Strong Mad helps Strong Bad to cheat at the Jumping Jack contest. | * [[A Jumping Jack Contest]] — Strong Mad helps Strong Bad to cheat at the Jumping Jack contest. | ||
* [[The Luau]] — Strong Mad helps Strong Bad's theft of wood from Marzipan. | * [[The Luau]] — Strong Mad helps Strong Bad's theft of wood from Marzipan. | ||
* [[Arcade Game]] — Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad all collect $500 per month each from Homestar in protection money. | * [[Arcade Game]] — Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad all collect $500 per month each from Homestar in protection money. | ||
* [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]] — Strong Mad | * [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]] — Strong Mad "breaks" Strong Bad and The Cheat out of [[Jail|jail]] and attempted to smuggle a jackhammer in a cake. | ||
* [[3 Times Halloween Funjob]] — Strong Mad toilet papers [[The Stick]] and later attempts to TP Marzipan's house by punching a hole in her wall with a roll of toilet paper. | * [[3 Times Halloween Funjob]] — Strong Mad toilet papers [[The Stick]] and later attempts to TP Marzipan's house by punching a hole in her wall with a roll of toilet paper. | ||
* [[Fall Float Parade]] — Strong Mad uproots and steals [[Bubs' Concession Stand]]. | * [[Fall Float Parade]] — Strong Mad uproots and steals [[Bubs' Concession Stand]]. | ||
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* Email [[isp]] — Strong Mad literally sucks up bandwidth from Bubs. | * Email [[isp]] — Strong Mad literally sucks up bandwidth from Bubs. | ||
=== Marzipan === | |||
== | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/9/9d/Mazipan%27s_Closet.png/180px-Mazipan%27s_Closet.png | |||
''"I'm pretty sure there's no cake in here. It's been about three weeks now, and you'd think I would have found it."'' | |||
Despite being, as Strong Bad puts it, "a dirty hippie, without the dirt", Marzipan has resorted to less-than-peaceful ways of making her opinion heard. | |||
* Email [[coloring]]; Marzipan openly admits to Strong Bad that [[L.U.R.N.]] is a "pretty standard" cult. | |||
* Email [[coloring]]; Marzipan openly admits to Strong Bad that [[L.U.R.N.]] is a | |||
* [[Quality Time]] — Marzipan locks Homestar in her closet for 3 weeks after she told him there was a cake in there. | * [[Quality Time]] — Marzipan locks Homestar in her closet for 3 weeks after she told him there was a cake in there. | ||
* Email [[bike thief]] — Marzipan steals Homestar's bike from Strong Bad using the same clipboard method he did. | * Email [[bike thief]] — Marzipan steals Homestar's bike from Strong Bad using the same clipboard method he did. | ||
* [[Baddest of the Bands]] — Marzipan hits Strong Bad with her guitar when he says he doesn't think she's hot and Strong Bad later recalls her | * [[Baddest of the Bands]] — Marzipan hits Strong Bad with her guitar when he says he doesn't think she's hot and Strong Bad later recalls her "protesting [him] into next week" by hitting him into the pond. | ||
* [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — Marzipan stabs Strong Bad with a pencil off-camera in retribution for him endangering [[Credenza]] for the shot. | * [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — Marzipan stabs Strong Bad with a pencil off-camera in retribution for him endangering [[Credenza]] for the shot. | ||
* [[Career Day]]; When Homestar asks if a social worker is coming to L.U.R.N. that day, Marzipan dismisses it and says | * [[Career Day]]; When Homestar asks if a social worker is coming to L.U.R.N. that day, Marzipan dismisses it and says "That's all taken care of. The charges were dropped." While not elaborated, it can be assumed that they're related to the previously-mentioned cult practices. | ||
* [[hremail 3184]] — Marzipan steals [[Gardenboy]]'s garden tools to help Strong Bad assault Homestar. | * [[hremail 3184]] — Marzipan steals [[Gardenboy]]'s garden tools to help Strong Bad assault Homestar. | ||
* [[Haunted Photo Booth]] — Marzipan has Homestar steal a photo booth from a wedding for her Halloween party. | * [[Haunted Photo Booth]] — Marzipan has Homestar steal a photo booth from a wedding for her Halloween party. | ||
=== Bubs === | |||
== | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/2/22/Bubs_Punching_Strong_Bad.png/180px-Bubs_Punching_Strong_Bad.png | |||
''"We're gonna need a new Strong Bad in about two seconds!"'' | |||
''See main article: [[Bubs's Shady Business Practices]]'' | ''See main article: [[Bubs's Shady Business Practices]]'' | ||
==== Non-business crimes ==== | |||
=== | |||
* [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0]] — Bubs kicks Coach Z in the crotch for Marzipan. | * [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0]] — Bubs kicks Coach Z in the crotch for Marzipan. | ||
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* [[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs runs over Strong Sad and his Book stand with the Baloney Sammich truck. | * [[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs runs over Strong Sad and his Book stand with the Baloney Sammich truck. | ||
* Email [[original]] — Bubs punches Strong Bad for claiming that he wasn't the [[Original Bubs|original Bubs]]. | * Email [[original]] — Bubs punches Strong Bad for claiming that he wasn't the [[Original Bubs|original Bubs]]. | ||
* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — When Strong Bad asks Bubs if he can do any tricks with bottles, Bubs replies, | * [[Strong Badia the Free]] — When Strong Bad asks Bubs if he can do any tricks with bottles, Bubs replies, "You mean like break them over the counter and use them to stab anyone who asks me dumb questions?" | ||
* [[Most in the Graveyard]] — Bubs punches Coach Z to the ground after Coach Z implies that he fancies Bubs's sister. | * [[Most in the Graveyard]] — Bubs punches Coach Z to the ground after Coach Z implies that he fancies Bubs's sister. | ||
* [[I Killed Pom Pom]] — Bubs implies he's killed at least one person by | * [[I Killed Pom Pom]] — Bubs implies he's killed at least one person by "mistake" in the past and gives Homestar advice on how to get away with it. | ||
* [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]] — Bubs complains that he's known more for stealing an aircraft carrier than for having a catchphrase. | * [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]] — Bubs complains that he's known more for stealing an aircraft carrier than for having a catchphrase. | ||
=== Coach Z === | |||
== | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/d/d6/ThikkaSorcret.png/180px-ThikkaSorcret.png | |||
''"And now, Thikkaman, at long last..."'' | |||
On top of his already questionable [[Coach Z|accent]] and [[Coach Z's Problems|odors]], Coach Z has done quite a few questionable acts. | On top of his already questionable [[Coach Z|accent]] and [[Coach Z's Problems|odors]], Coach Z has done quite a few questionable acts. | ||
| Line 283: | Line 133: | ||
* [[A Folky Tale]] — Upon thinking he's killed Strong Sad, Coach Z hides from the law in the ceiling of Bubs' Concession Stand. | * [[A Folky Tale]] — Upon thinking he's killed Strong Sad, Coach Z hides from the law in the ceiling of Bubs' Concession Stand. | ||
* Email [[trading cards]] — Stong Bad implies that Coach Z's [[Butt-Patting|butt-patting]] got him in legal trouble in seven states. | * Email [[trading cards]] — Stong Bad implies that Coach Z's [[Butt-Patting|butt-patting]] got him in legal trouble in seven states. | ||
* Email [[cliffhangers]] — Coach Z traps [[The Thnikkaman]] in a locker in an attempt to uncover his secret | * Email [[cliffhangers]] — Coach Z traps [[The Thnikkaman]] in a locker in an attempt to uncover his secret "sorcret" identity to render him useless as a Thnikkaman. | ||
* [[DNA Evidence]] — Under the guise of Damp Towelman Coach Z steals the DNA evidence soaked towel to help him clean up lasagna stains at work. | * [[DNA Evidence]] — Under the guise of Damp Towelman Coach Z steals the DNA evidence soaked towel to help him clean up lasagna stains at work. | ||
* [[Baddest of the Bands]] — Coach Z breaks Marzipan's window and her restraining order on her house. | * [[Baddest of the Bands]] — Coach Z breaks Marzipan's window and her restraining order on her house. | ||
* [[On Break]] — Coach Z inadvertently kidnaps a child with his Blubbo's costume, and decides to leave the child there for at least a week. | * [[On Break]] — Coach Z inadvertently kidnaps a child with his Blubbo's costume, and decides to leave the child there for at least a week. | ||
* [[I Killed Pom Pom]] — Coach Z implies he's killed at least one person in the past | * [[I Killed Pom Pom]] — Coach Z implies he's killed at least one person in the past "in cold blood" and gives Homestar advice on how to get away with it. | ||
* [[Mr. Poofers Must Die]] — Coach Z boasts of being | * [[Mr. Poofers Must Die]] — Coach Z boasts of being "fatally irresponsible" with animals. | ||
=== The King of Town === | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/9/9e/MP%26KOT.png/180px-MP%26KOT.png | |||
''"Stop what? I don't do nothing!"'' | |||
Being the glutton that he is, The King of Town has been known to eat food [[Eating Non-Food Items|(and not food)]] that doesn't belong to him. | Being the glutton that he is, The King of Town has been known to eat food [[Eating Non-Food Items|(and not food)]] that doesn't belong to him. | ||
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* [[I Killed Pom Pom]] — The King of Town ate the Poopsmith's whatsit pile and frames Homestar for it. | * [[I Killed Pom Pom]] — The King of Town ate the Poopsmith's whatsit pile and frames Homestar for it. | ||
=== Pseudocharacters === | |||
== | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/a/a6/Tandy_Magnet.png/180px-Tandy_Magnet.png | |||
''"Let's not do anything inappropriate with that magnet..."'' | |||
* Email [[couch patch]] — The Compy 386 somehow makes The Cheat's [[The Cheat's Head Exploding|head explode]]. | * Email [[couch patch]] — The Compy 386 somehow makes The Cheat's [[The Cheat's Head Exploding|head explode]]. | ||
* Email [[cliffhangers]] and [[retirement]] — The broken [[Tandy 400]] and shotgunned [[Compy 386]] kidnap the [[Lappy]]. | * Email [[cliffhangers]] and [[retirement]] — The broken [[Tandy 400]] and shotgunned [[Compy 386]] kidnap the [[Lappy]]. | ||
* Email [[email thunder]] — [[The Paper]] beats up the [[New Paper]]. | * Email [[email thunder]] — [[The Paper]] beats up the [[New Paper]]. | ||
=== Teen Girl Squad === | |||
== | |||
* [[The Arrow'd Guy]] frequently kills the girls in weird and amusing fashions. | * [[The Arrow'd Guy]] frequently kills the girls in weird and amusing fashions. | ||
| Line 357: | Line 174: | ||
* [[4 Gregs]] — Open Source Greg launches a denial of service attack against Tompkins's website thinking it was the Concession Stand. | * [[4 Gregs]] — Open Source Greg launches a denial of service attack against Tompkins's website thinking it was the Concession Stand. | ||
=== Old-Timey === | |||
== | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/f/fb/OldTimeyMarzipanWeapon.PNG/180px-OldTimeyMarzipanWeapon.PNG | |||
''"A Decemberween tradition."'' | |||
* [[Parsnips-A-Plenty|Parsnips-a-Plenty]] — [[Old-Timey Strong Bad]], [[Strong Man]] and [[The Sneak]] steal all the parsnips from [[Old-Timey Bubs]] so that [[The Homestar Runner]] will go hungry. | * [[Parsnips-A-Plenty|Parsnips-a-Plenty]] — [[Old-Timey Strong Bad]], [[Strong Man]] and [[The Sneak]] steal all the parsnips from [[Old-Timey Bubs]] so that [[The Homestar Runner]] will go hungry. | ||
* [[Ballad of The Sneak|Ballad of the Sneak]] — The Sneak has dropped The Homestar Runner from his flying machine, put a Bengal tiger in [[The Kaiser]]'s Latrine and ate the Old-Timey Announcer's Fluffy Puff confections. | * [[Ballad of The Sneak|Ballad of the Sneak]] — The Sneak has dropped The Homestar Runner from his flying machine, put a Bengal tiger in [[The Kaiser]]'s Latrine and ate the Old-Timey Announcer's Fluffy Puff confections. | ||
| Line 385: | Line 186: | ||
* [[Sickly Sam's Big Outing]] — Old-Timey Strong Bad attempts to sell [[Sickly Sam]] to the glue factory, which involves The Sneak threatening him with a knife and Old-Timey Strong Bad holding him at gun point with his pistola. When the film glitches, he's seen trying to kill The Homestar Runner and Old-Timey Marzipan on a [[Saw Mill|saw mill]]. | * [[Sickly Sam's Big Outing]] — Old-Timey Strong Bad attempts to sell [[Sickly Sam]] to the glue factory, which involves The Sneak threatening him with a knife and Old-Timey Strong Bad holding him at gun point with his pistola. When the film glitches, he's seen trying to kill The Homestar Runner and Old-Timey Marzipan on a [[Saw Mill|saw mill]]. | ||
=== Cheat Commandos === | |||
== | |||
Despite their mission of | Despite their mission of "probably battling evil", the Cheat Commandos' records are not exactly spotless. | ||
* [[Commandos in the Classroom]] — The Cheat Commandos enjoy watching pony fights. In the video, the [[Blue Laser Minions]] try to talk [[Fightgar]] into shoplifting wine coolers. | * [[Commandos in the Classroom]] — The Cheat Commandos enjoy watching pony fights. In the video, the [[Blue Laser Minions]] try to talk [[Fightgar]] into shoplifting wine coolers. | ||
| Line 395: | Line 195: | ||
* [[2 Part Episode: Part 2|2 part Episode: Part 2]] — Gunhaver, [[Silent Rip]], [[Crackotage]] and [[The Topplegangers]] bust the Blue Laser Commander out of jail (Reynold's Office). Gunhaver also shoots [[Flashfight]], though it is unknown if he died or not. | * [[2 Part Episode: Part 2|2 part Episode: Part 2]] — Gunhaver, [[Silent Rip]], [[Crackotage]] and [[The Topplegangers]] bust the Blue Laser Commander out of jail (Reynold's Office). Gunhaver also shoots [[Flashfight]], though it is unknown if he died or not. | ||
=== Puppet Stuff === | |||
== | |||
* [[Puppet Time]] — [[Puppet Homestar]] and Puppet The Cheat | * [[Puppet Time]] — [[Puppet Homestar]] and Puppet The Cheat "borrow" Strong Bad's stuff, including the [[Compy 386]]. | ||
* [[Dangeresque: Puppet Squad]] — [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]] and [[Dangeresque Too]] track down | * [[Dangeresque: Puppet Squad]] — [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]] and [[Dangeresque Too]] track down "the guy who stole [Dangeresque's] curly fries that one time". | ||
* [[The Animated Adventures of Puppet Homestar]] — Puppet Strong Bad steals Puppet Homestar's [[Pile|pile]]. | * [[The Animated Adventures of Puppet Homestar]] — Puppet Strong Bad steals Puppet Homestar's [[Pile|pile]]. | ||
* [[Decemberween Dangeresque]] — Dangeresque and [[Firebert]] team up to foil a [[Hot Jones]] smuggling operation. | * [[Decemberween Dangeresque]] — Dangeresque and [[Firebert]] team up to foil a [[Hot Jones]] smuggling operation. | ||
=== Dangeresque === | |||
== | |||
* Email [[stunt double]] — Dangeresque's mission is to track down a stolen tape. [[Baron Darin Diamonocle]] tries to kill Dangeresque by dropping the [[Heavy Lourde]] on him. | * Email [[stunt double]] — Dangeresque's mission is to track down a stolen tape. [[Baron Darin Diamonocle]] tries to kill Dangeresque by dropping the [[Heavy Lourde]] on him. | ||
| Line 411: | Line 209: | ||
* [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — Dangeresque steals priceless paintings that were evidence, frames Diamonocle for endangered puppy trafficking and the murder of several presidents, and tricks Sultry Buttons into giving him several stolen jewels. | * [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — Dangeresque steals priceless paintings that were evidence, frames Diamonocle for endangered puppy trafficking and the murder of several presidents, and tricks Sultry Buttons into giving him several stolen jewels. | ||
== Punishment == | |||
= | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/2/21/The_Jail.png/180px-The_Jail.png | |||
''The full extent of the law.'' | |||
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/a/ad/CdoggNaptime.png/180px-CdoggNaptime.png | |||
''"Hey Rubble D, where my smokes at?"'' | |||
Due to the lack of authority and law enforcement, most crimes are unprosecuted. There have been a few cases of characters receiving some form of formal punishment. | Due to the lack of authority and law enforcement, most crimes are unprosecuted. There have been a few cases of characters receiving some form of formal punishment. | ||
=== Occurrences === | |||
== | |||
* [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]] — Strong Bad and The Cheat get sent to | * [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]] — Strong Bad and The Cheat get sent to "jail" (a cardboard box with a window cut out of it to resemble bars) twice for trying to break into Bubs' Concession Stand and kidnapping [[The Poopsmith]]. | ||
* [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11]] — [[So and So]] is sent to prison for | * [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11]] — [[So and So]] is sent to prison for "life plus whenever [her] step-mom picks [her] up", presumably for shoplifting from the shirt-folding store where she has a summer job. | ||
* [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13]] — So and So reacts to the arrival of the police by saying | * [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13]] — So and So reacts to the arrival of the police by saying "I can't do another nickel!" | ||
* [[Toikey TV]] — Bubs mentions Riot Police and Tear Gas as a scheduled result of Bubs Friday sales. | * [[Toikey TV]] — Bubs mentions Riot Police and Tear Gas as a scheduled result of Bubs Friday sales. | ||
* [[Play Date]] — Bubs and Coach Z get sent to federal and juvenile prison respectively for unspecified reasons. | * [[Play Date]] — Bubs and Coach Z get sent to federal and juvenile prison respectively for unspecified reasons. | ||
* [[Blubb-O's Commercial]] — Strong Sad tells Coach Z it seems like he's trying to go to prison, to which he replies, | * [[Blubb-O's Commercial]] — Strong Sad tells Coach Z it seems like he's trying to go to prison, to which he replies, "Hey, three square meals a day!" | ||
* [[Homestar Ruiner]] — The King of Town places a criminal record on Homestar for public nudity and orders the Poopsmith and Strong Mad to guard it. | * [[Homestar Ruiner]] — The King of Town places a criminal record on Homestar for public nudity and orders the Poopsmith and Strong Mad to guard it. | ||
* [[Strong Badia the Free]] — The King of Town places Strong Bad under house arrest for not paying the new email tax. Coach Z also mentions that | * [[Strong Badia the Free]] — The King of Town places Strong Bad under house arrest for not paying the new email tax. Coach Z also mentions that "[he] can't go back to the joint". Strong Sad refuses to help Strong Bad escape saying "I don't want to get charged with aiding and abetting a criminal again!" | ||
* [[Baddest of the Bands]] — [[Biscuitdoughhandsman]] is on the FBI most wanted list. | * [[Baddest of the Bands]] — [[Biscuitdoughhandsman]] is on the FBI most wanted list. | ||
* [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — [[Baron Darin Diamonocle]] is incarcerated in Brainblow city prison after Dangeresque frames him. The Extended Play also reveals that Bubs's Concession Stand was originally a mini jail with Bubs as the solo inmate. | * [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — [[Baron Darin Diamonocle]] is incarcerated in Brainblow city prison after Dangeresque frames him. The Extended Play also reveals that Bubs's Concession Stand was originally a mini jail with Bubs as the solo inmate. | ||
* Email [[other days]] and [[A Death-Defying Decemberween]] — Strong Bad mentions that he is on parole and has to do community service. | * Email [[other days]] and [[A Death-Defying Decemberween]] — Strong Bad mentions that he is on parole and has to do community service. | ||
* [[2 Part Episode: Part 1]] — After taking over the [[Cheat Commandos]], Flashfight arrests [[Blue Laser Commander]] and throws him in the brig ([[Reynold]]'s office). | * [[2 Part Episode: Part 1]] — After taking over the [[Cheat Commandos]], Flashfight arrests [[Blue Laser Commander]] and throws him in the brig ([[Reynold]]'s office). | ||
* [[Punkin Stencils]] — Homestar recalls getting shut down and fined twice by | * [[Punkin Stencils]] — Homestar recalls getting shut down and fined twice by "the city" for leaving out a [[The Goblin]] [[Pumpkins|pumpkin]] on the porch until it actually turned green. | ||
* [[Fan Costumes '09]] — Crack Stuntman says his work with Pistols for Pandas is court ordered. | * [[Fan Costumes '09]] — Crack Stuntman says his work with Pistols for Pandas is court ordered. | ||
* [[The House That Gave Sucky Tricks]] — It is implied that the King of Town has the authority to imprison and even execute people. | * [[The House That Gave Sucky Tricks]] — It is implied that the King of Town has the authority to imprison and even execute people. | ||
| Line 475: | Line 241: | ||
* [[Later That Night...]] — While giving out melty candy bars to Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad, [[Senor Cardgage]] says he'll call the police, greatly confusing Strong Bad. | * [[Later That Night...]] — While giving out melty candy bars to Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad, [[Senor Cardgage]] says he'll call the police, greatly confusing Strong Bad. | ||
== See Also == | |||
= | |||
* [[Bad Sportsmanship]] | * [[Bad Sportsmanship]] | ||
* [[Breaking and Entering]] | * [[Breaking and Entering]] | ||
* [[Credit Card Fraud]] | * [[Credit Card Fraud]] | ||
* | * | ||
* [[Prison]] | * [[Prison]] | ||
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[[Category:Violence]] | |||
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Latest revision as of 14:24, 14 July 2026
"Who's gonna steal a pair of half-eaten choco-pants?"
Despite its very low population, Free Country, USA has a high rate of petty crime, and few officials to enforce punishment.
Crime
Strong Bad
While not a proper villain anymore, Strong Bad has committed more crimes than the rest of the characters put together.
See main article: Crimes committed by Strong Bad
Homestar Runner
"Garbage. Garbage. Rubbish. Umm... Murder weapon?"
Whether due to Strong Bad's influence or his own stupidity, Homestar has had a few brushes with the law.
- Email stupid stuff — Homestar comments that he breaks into Strong Bad's house often.
- Homestar has been naked in public at random times but only got a criminal record in Homestar Ruiner after Strong Bad stole his clothes and was he forced to run past the King of Town naked.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2 — Homestar steals Marzipan's credit card to buy a racecar bed and tries to take prank calling lessons from Strong Bad.
- strongbad email.exe Disc Three — Homestar admits to picking the lock to break into Strong Bad's House.
- Email bike thief — Homestar attempts to steal Strong Bad's Lappy 486.
- Homestar Ruiner — 3 Different Homestars squat in the House of the Brothers Strong.
- Place ya bets! — Homestar plots to blow Strong Bad up until Strong Sad points out his "dynamite" is a bunch of candles with a drawing of a clock taped to them.
- Baddest of the Bands — With Strong Bad's help Homestar cheats at auditions for Pom Pom's band then later with Pom Pom's help cheats at the Battle of the Bands.
- I killed Pom Pom — After Homestar thinks he's killed Pom Pom he tries to dispose of the body and frame Strong Sad and Marzipan for the "murder" before mistakenly, actually killing Pom Pom, trying to get rid of his ghost.
- Haunted Photo Booth — Homestar, at the request of Marzipan, steals a photo booth from a wedding.
The Cheat
True to his name, The Cheat has helped Strong Bad and several other characters to cheat at various sports and activities. He has also assisted with various, more heinous crimes.
See main article: Cheating
Assisting Strong Bad
- The Luau — The Cheat helps Strong Bad's theft of wood from Marzipan.
- Arcade Game — Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad all collect $500 per month each from Homestar in protection money.
- Email caper — The Cheat breaks into Homestar's house alongside Strong Bad.
- Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — The Cheat assists Strong Bad in his various crimes througout the toon.
- Email garage sale — The Cheat robs houses (and inadvertently kidnaps Homestar) so Strong Bad can sell the spoils at his garage sale.
- Email portrait — The Cheat vandalizes the Deutsch Master painting.
- Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad and The Cheat staple a grilled cheese sandwich to Homestar's face.
- Best Caper Ever — The Cheat and Strong Bad somehow strand Homestar in the Arctic, a process that started with The Cheat peeing in Homestar's Melonade.
Other
- Email lackey — The Cheat tricks Bubs into accepting pencil shavings as legal tender.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2 — The Cheat tries to prank call Marzipan.
- Homestar Ruiner — The Cheat puts a bomb in a paper bag marked "Coach Z" after the coach comments on him being unsportsmanlike.
- A Death-Defying Decemberween — The Cheat assists Homestar's attempt to injure himself sledding down the Steep Deep.
- Homestar Runner Goes For the Gold — The Cheat keeps Dijjery Doo locked in a box in Homestar's shed.
Strong Sad
"Hey Coach Z! Hey Coach Z! Whaddya got for me?"
Usually very passive and accepting of his life; Strong Sad has lashed out on occasion.
- Email caffeine — While high on caffeine Strong Sad repeatedly slaps Coach Z and takes his hat.
- Email rough copy — Strong Sad pelts Strong Bad and The Cheat with snowballs that he put in the freezer when he was eight years old.
- DNA Evidence — Strong Sad conspired to steal his DNA evidence while under the guise of investigating it to keep anyone from knowing if he's part elephant or hippo.
- Record Store Day — Strong Sad freely admits to "creeping" Sloshy albums out of the band members' girlfriends' trash.
Strong Mad
"That's not really the conventional way to roll a house."
- A Jumping Jack Contest — Strong Mad helps Strong Bad to cheat at the Jumping Jack contest.
- The Luau — Strong Mad helps Strong Bad's theft of wood from Marzipan.
- Arcade Game — Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad all collect $500 per month each from Homestar in protection money.
- Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Mad "breaks" Strong Bad and The Cheat out of jail and attempted to smuggle a jackhammer in a cake.
- 3 Times Halloween Funjob — Strong Mad toilet papers The Stick and later attempts to TP Marzipan's house by punching a hole in her wall with a roll of toilet paper.
- Fall Float Parade — Strong Mad uproots and steals Bubs' Concession Stand.
- Email origins — Strong Mad tries to vandalize Marzipan with cooking spray and then assists Strong Bad in gluing her to Homsar and leaving them for dead.
- Email isp — Strong Mad literally sucks up bandwidth from Bubs.
Marzipan
"I'm pretty sure there's no cake in here. It's been about three weeks now, and you'd think I would have found it."
Despite being, as Strong Bad puts it, "a dirty hippie, without the dirt", Marzipan has resorted to less-than-peaceful ways of making her opinion heard.
- Email coloring; Marzipan openly admits to Strong Bad that L.U.R.N. is a "pretty standard" cult.
- Quality Time — Marzipan locks Homestar in her closet for 3 weeks after she told him there was a cake in there.
- Email bike thief — Marzipan steals Homestar's bike from Strong Bad using the same clipboard method he did.
- Baddest of the Bands — Marzipan hits Strong Bad with her guitar when he says he doesn't think she's hot and Strong Bad later recalls her "protesting [him] into next week" by hitting him into the pond.
- Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — Marzipan stabs Strong Bad with a pencil off-camera in retribution for him endangering Credenza for the shot.
- Career Day; When Homestar asks if a social worker is coming to L.U.R.N. that day, Marzipan dismisses it and says "That's all taken care of. The charges were dropped." While not elaborated, it can be assumed that they're related to the previously-mentioned cult practices.
- hremail 3184 — Marzipan steals Gardenboy's garden tools to help Strong Bad assault Homestar.
- Haunted Photo Booth — Marzipan has Homestar steal a photo booth from a wedding for her Halloween party.
Bubs
"We're gonna need a new Strong Bad in about two seconds!"
See main article: Bubs's Shady Business Practices
Non-business crimes
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0 — Bubs kicks Coach Z in the crotch for Marzipan.
- A Folky Tale — Bubs helps Coach Z hide when he thinks he killed Strong Sad. Bubs also tells Homestar to get out of town and lay low for a while.
- The Baloneyman — Bubs runs over Strong Sad and his Book stand with the Baloney Sammich truck.
- Email original — Bubs punches Strong Bad for claiming that he wasn't the original Bubs.
- Strong Badia the Free — When Strong Bad asks Bubs if he can do any tricks with bottles, Bubs replies, "You mean like break them over the counter and use them to stab anyone who asks me dumb questions?"
- Most in the Graveyard — Bubs punches Coach Z to the ground after Coach Z implies that he fancies Bubs's sister.
- I Killed Pom Pom — Bubs implies he's killed at least one person by "mistake" in the past and gives Homestar advice on how to get away with it.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2 — Bubs complains that he's known more for stealing an aircraft carrier than for having a catchphrase.
Coach Z
"And now, Thikkaman, at long last..."
On top of his already questionable accent and odors, Coach Z has done quite a few questionable acts.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2 — Coach Z lets it slip that he has broken into Marzipan's house before.
- A Folky Tale — Upon thinking he's killed Strong Sad, Coach Z hides from the law in the ceiling of Bubs' Concession Stand.
- Email trading cards — Stong Bad implies that Coach Z's butt-patting got him in legal trouble in seven states.
- Email cliffhangers — Coach Z traps The Thnikkaman in a locker in an attempt to uncover his secret "sorcret" identity to render him useless as a Thnikkaman.
- DNA Evidence — Under the guise of Damp Towelman Coach Z steals the DNA evidence soaked towel to help him clean up lasagna stains at work.
- Baddest of the Bands — Coach Z breaks Marzipan's window and her restraining order on her house.
- On Break — Coach Z inadvertently kidnaps a child with his Blubbo's costume, and decides to leave the child there for at least a week.
- I Killed Pom Pom — Coach Z implies he's killed at least one person in the past "in cold blood" and gives Homestar advice on how to get away with it.
- Mr. Poofers Must Die — Coach Z boasts of being "fatally irresponsible" with animals.
The King of Town
"Stop what? I don't do nothing!"
Being the glutton that he is, The King of Town has been known to eat food (and not food) that doesn't belong to him.
- Email suntan — The King of Town steals Strong Bad's cocoa butter and animal phat.
- 3 Times Halloween Funjob — The King of Town eats Marzipan's candy corn lights and then denies having done anything wrong when Marzipan tells him to stop doing it.
- Email original — The King of Town (somehow) eats all the mayonnaise off Original Bubs's egg salad.
- Homestar Ruiner — The King of Town continually devours the Choco-Opps Strong Bad tries to leave Marzipan.
- Strong Badia the Free — The Of Town rises up against King Strong Bad's Creamy-Ding Snack cake tax.
- Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — In his cast interview, The King of Town lets slip that he's hiring people overseas to steal priceless art to sell on the black market like Perducci.
- Most in the Graveyard — The King of Town is implied to have stolen Strong Bad's pickled monkey fingers.
- I Killed Pom Pom — The King of Town ate the Poopsmith's whatsit pile and frames Homestar for it.
Pseudocharacters
"Let's not do anything inappropriate with that magnet..."
- Email couch patch — The Compy 386 somehow makes The Cheat's head explode.
- Email cliffhangers and retirement — The broken Tandy 400 and shotgunned Compy 386 kidnap the Lappy.
- Email email thunder — The Paper beats up the New Paper.
Teen Girl Squad
- The Arrow'd Guy frequently kills the girls in weird and amusing fashions.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 8 — Tompkins is sent to the principal's office for stealing a sega tape.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 11 — So and So shoplifts from the shirt folding store she's working in.
- 4 Gregs — Open Source Greg launches a denial of service attack against Tompkins's website thinking it was the Concession Stand.
Old-Timey
"A Decemberween tradition."
- Parsnips-a-Plenty — Old-Timey Strong Bad, Strong Man and The Sneak steal all the parsnips from Old-Timey Bubs so that The Homestar Runner will go hungry.
- Ballad of the Sneak — The Sneak has dropped The Homestar Runner from his flying machine, put a Bengal tiger in The Kaiser's Latrine and ate the Old-Timey Announcer's Fluffy Puff confections.
- That a Ghost — Fat Dudley tries to drink some hooch.
- Decemberween Short Shorts — Rumble Red is beheaded by Old-Timey Marzipan's machine, which she gave to him as a Decemberween present.
- Sickly Sam's Big Outing — Old-Timey Strong Bad attempts to sell Sickly Sam to the glue factory, which involves The Sneak threatening him with a knife and Old-Timey Strong Bad holding him at gun point with his pistola. When the film glitches, he's seen trying to kill The Homestar Runner and Old-Timey Marzipan on a saw mill.
Cheat Commandos
Despite their mission of "probably battling evil", the Cheat Commandos' records are not exactly spotless.
- Commandos in the Classroom — The Cheat Commandos enjoy watching pony fights. In the video, the Blue Laser Minions try to talk Fightgar into shoplifting wine coolers.
- Let us give Tanks — Gunhaver sticks a nuclear device in the Blue Laser Commander's oven as a backup which then explodes, taking out the cottage.
- 2 Part Episode: Part 1 — The Cheat Commandos keep Reynold locked in his office without food.
- 2 part Episode: Part 2 — Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Crackotage and The Topplegangers bust the Blue Laser Commander out of jail (Reynold's Office). Gunhaver also shoots Flashfight, though it is unknown if he died or not.
Puppet Stuff
- Puppet Time — Puppet Homestar and Puppet The Cheat "borrow" Strong Bad's stuff, including the Compy 386.
- Dangeresque: Puppet Squad — Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too track down "the guy who stole [Dangeresque's] curly fries that one time".
- The Animated Adventures of Puppet Homestar — Puppet Strong Bad steals Puppet Homestar's pile.
- Decemberween Dangeresque — Dangeresque and Firebert team up to foil a Hot Jones smuggling operation.
Dangeresque
- Email stunt double — Dangeresque's mission is to track down a stolen tape. Baron Darin Diamonocle tries to kill Dangeresque by dropping the Heavy Lourde on him.
- The theme from DANGERESQUE II: This time, it's not Dangeresque I — Dangeresque claims to fight the law more than he fights the crime.
- Email dangeresque 3 — Perducci intercepts the serum, and if it's not delivered, Cutesy Buttons will be kidnapped.
- Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — Dangeresque steals priceless paintings that were evidence, frames Diamonocle for endangered puppy trafficking and the murder of several presidents, and tricks Sultry Buttons into giving him several stolen jewels.
Punishment
The full extent of the law.
"Hey Rubble D, where my smokes at?"
Due to the lack of authority and law enforcement, most crimes are unprosecuted. There have been a few cases of characters receiving some form of formal punishment.
Occurrences
- Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad and The Cheat get sent to "jail" (a cardboard box with a window cut out of it to resemble bars) twice for trying to break into Bubs' Concession Stand and kidnapping The Poopsmith.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 11 — So and So is sent to prison for "life plus whenever [her] step-mom picks [her] up", presumably for shoplifting from the shirt-folding store where she has a summer job.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 13 — So and So reacts to the arrival of the police by saying "I can't do another nickel!"
- Toikey TV — Bubs mentions Riot Police and Tear Gas as a scheduled result of Bubs Friday sales.
- Play Date — Bubs and Coach Z get sent to federal and juvenile prison respectively for unspecified reasons.
- Blubb-O's Commercial — Strong Sad tells Coach Z it seems like he's trying to go to prison, to which he replies, "Hey, three square meals a day!"
- Homestar Ruiner — The King of Town places a criminal record on Homestar for public nudity and orders the Poopsmith and Strong Mad to guard it.
- Strong Badia the Free — The King of Town places Strong Bad under house arrest for not paying the new email tax. Coach Z also mentions that "[he] can't go back to the joint". Strong Sad refuses to help Strong Bad escape saying "I don't want to get charged with aiding and abetting a criminal again!"
- Baddest of the Bands — Biscuitdoughhandsman is on the FBI most wanted list.
- Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — Baron Darin Diamonocle is incarcerated in Brainblow city prison after Dangeresque frames him. The Extended Play also reveals that Bubs's Concession Stand was originally a mini jail with Bubs as the solo inmate.
- Email other days and A Death-Defying Decemberween — Strong Bad mentions that he is on parole and has to do community service.
- 2 Part Episode: Part 1 — After taking over the Cheat Commandos, Flashfight arrests Blue Laser Commander and throws him in the brig (Reynold's office).
- Punkin Stencils — Homestar recalls getting shut down and fined twice by "the city" for leaving out a The Goblin pumpkin on the porch until it actually turned green.
- Fan Costumes '09 — Crack Stuntman says his work with Pistols for Pandas is court ordered.
- The House That Gave Sucky Tricks — It is implied that the King of Town has the authority to imprison and even execute people.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2 — Coach Z gets tried as a minor for an unspecified crime which got him labelled as a flight risk, and Strong Sad gets arrested for something involving jodhpurs; both are placed in the Free Country USA Penitentiary for their crimes.
- Later That Night... — While giving out melty candy bars to Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad, Senor Cardgage says he'll call the police, greatly confusing Strong Bad.
See Also
This list is . You can help the Homestar Runner Wiki by adding content.
