New hands

"I am still awesome!"

Strong Bad gets asked about what he would replace his hands with if they were cut off at the wrist.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z, Homestar Runner's head (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, The Field

Computer: Compy 386

Date: Monday, October 21, 2002

Running Time: 1:36

Page Title: COMPY 386

DVD:strongbad email.exe Disc One

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {makes short sounds rising in pitch} Doo doo doo doo doo... email! {descending in pitch} Doo doo doo doo doo.

{reading}

>Hey Strong Bad,
>If you had both your hands removed at
>the wrists and could not have them
>replaced with prosthetic hands, what
>2 things would you have them replaced
>with?
>
>- Ryan
>Toronto

STRONG BAD: {typing} Lemme think for a second, Ryan. Ooh! Ooh! I got it!

{Cuts to The Field, with Strong Bad standing in the middle of it}

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} One hand would have a bucket on it. {a bucket appears on his right hand} That way, I would always... have a bucket. You know, for like, dumping oatmeal on stuff—

{A turtle appears and Strong Bad dumps some oatmeal from inside the bucket on it.}

STRONG BAD: —for washing The Cheat—

{Water appears in the bucket; The Cheat comes out of it with suds covering his head and makes a sad The Cheat noise}

STRONG BAD: —and like, dropping the occasional beat...

{Strong Bad produces a rap beat by drumming on the bottom of the bucket, and Coach Z appears with a microphone in his hand.}

COACH Z: These peoples tried to fade me!

{The beat ends and Coach Z disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} And also, I could sit on it when I get tired. {he puts his bucket-hand on the ground and sits on it} Sit right down on the bucket. And the other hand would definitely be a bullhorn. {a bullhorn appears on his left hand} That way, everyone could hear all the important stuff I gotta say.

{Strong Bad's voice-over ends, and the Strong Bad in the field speaks through the bullhorn-hand.}

STRONG BAD: I am still awesome. {pause} Seriously. Hey, Coach! Uh... I wasn't trying to fade you. That wasn't me. I don't know who those peoples were.

{Strong Bad gets off the bucket-hand and stands there in The Field for a second. Cut back to Strong Bad at the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Now I know you were all expecting me to pick things like guitars and lazor guns... {stops typing} but I— Aww, man! Why didn't I pick guitars and lazor guns? Bullhorn?! Pfft! Like having a bucket for a hand's gonna get me any chicks... What was I thinking?

{Strong Bad hangs his head in shame}

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

What do you say there, Guitarhand?

• At the end of this one you can click on "guitars" or "lazor guns" to bring up Strong Bad with a guitar and a laser gun for hands.
  • Click on his "hands" for other various things.
    • Left hand:
      • A Gibson Flying V electric guitar
      • A wooden plank
      • The hot sauce bottle from your friends
      • Homestar's head, which says "What do you say there, Buckethand?"
      • A roll of toilet paper
      • An oversized boxing glove
      • The bullhorn
      • An ABA Basketball
    • Right hand:
      • A "lazor" gun
      • An oversized boxing glove
      • A lightning bolt
      • A cloud
      • A paper airplane
      • The bucket
      • A spinning saw blade from your friends

Fun Facts

Trivia

• This is the first time Coach Z sings "These peoples try to fade me".
• The YouTube description for this email is "Strong Bad makes a mistake when picking what to replace his hands with."

Remarks

• When The Cheat is in the bucket while Strong Bad talks about washing him, he is much smaller than normal, presumably to make him fit inside the bucket.
• If both of Strong Bad's hands were replaced as suggested by Ryan, he would probably not be able to drop beats on his bucket, especially if his other hand were indeed replaced by a bullhorn.

Goofs

• The saw blade that appears on Strong Bad's right hand spins towards the inclined edges.

Inside References

• "Lazor Guns" is a reference to band names.
• The turtle, The Cheat and Coach Z all appear from Hammerspace.

Fast Forward

• A figurine was later made out of bucket-and bullhorn-handed Strong Bad.
• The song "These peoples try to fade me" was later put onto the CD Strong Bad Sings And Other Type Hits. It has also sometimes been alluded to.
• The ABA Basketball would later be used as what Pom Pom would be in Strong Bad's different town song.
• The turtle on which Strong Bad dumps oatmeal appears in a newspaper clipping in time capsule, and again in sbemail 206.
  • It also appears in Homestar Ruiner, albeit much larger than before.
• Strong Bad again has "laser hands" in strong badathlon as a Powered by The Cheat-style cartoon.

DVD Version

• The hands Easter Egg is still there, but the hands are cycled through automatically. To access it, click on the hidden Strong Bad logo on the bottom left of the screen.
• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Matt Chapman)

MIKE: {poor imitation of Strong Bad} Email! Doo doo doo doo doo.

MATT: That was not me, that was Mike—

MIKE: I was taking—

MATT: —doing a bad impression of my website. This is probably one of the longer emails.

MIKE: Yeah, this is pr—

MATT: We don't usually accept emails that long anymore.

MIKE: Yeah, that's true. If it's more than two sentences I, uh, usually just throw it out. There's some scale problems in this one, I remember when The Cheat appears in the bucket.

MATT: Yeah, The Cheat is a little... Look at that little turtle! We should bring that turtle back. {laughs}

MIKE: The Cheat's as big as Strong Bad's mouth!

MATT: He could eat him in one bite! There is of course the first— the first appearance of "These peoples try to fade me." There's some new, some new legs you made for Strong Bad, I see.

MIKE: Yeah, his feet look a little funny.

MATT: I like 'em.

MIKE: I really wanna get one of those bullhorns.

MATT: Yeah, we should, there's no, no excuse for us not having— each having one of those.

MIKE: We could be doing our commentary through megaphones.

MATT: Yeah. {Pause} Um, do you have anything else to say?

MIKE: Well, I can't even remember what happens here. Okay, right.

MATT: He should have done—

MIKE: He should have picked guitar and laser guns—

MATT: Yeah, ri—

MIKE: 'cause they're cooler than buckets and megaphones.

MATT: These commentaries are just us remembering how our emails go.

MIKE: {overlapping, mock-remembering} Oh yeah, right...

Fun Facts

• Despite the Brothers Chaps' comment that they usually delete long emails of more than two sentences, there have been several emails released since the recording of this commentary that are of such a length, most notably long pants.

External Links

• watch "new hands"
• watch "new hands" on YouTube
• watch "new hands" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "new hands"