Pizza joint

"Uh... The Pizz? Thanks for calling?"

Strong Bad finally gets that sought-after email from college girls, so he opens a fake pizza joint, which accidentally becomes a very real success.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Daphne, Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Homestar Runner, The King of Town, Strong Sad

Places: Computer Room, Strong Badia, The King of Town's Castle, The Pizz, the Review Revue, The King of Town's Grill

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, September 24, 2007

Running Time: 4:09

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD:strongbad email.exe Disc Six, Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVD

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Let a lil' email into your heart, and it'll clog your arteries!

>subject: sbemails!! >Hey there Strong Bad,
>As a typical college girl I was wondering if there is a
>pizza joint somewhere in Strongbadia...you know, if me and
>my girls wanted to come hang out sometime.
>Hopeful in Pennsylvania,
>Daphne

{Strong Bad gets more and more excited as he reads the last two lines}

STRONG BAD: BLARG! {typing} Yes! We have a pizza joint! {Cut to the computer room; Strong Bad flails his arms wildly} I gots me a pizza joint! {Strong Bad falls off his chair and then flops off the screen} Always been at the pizza joint! Come to the pizza joint with me!

{Screen-wipe to Strong Badia. Strong Bad is standing behind a cardboard box, on which The Cheat is busy writing "Strong Bad's Strong Badian PIZZ". They are surrounded by "Neighborhood Style" pizza boxes.}

STRONG BAD: Hurry up with that sign, The Cheat!

THE CHEAT: {annoyed The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: {walks to the front} No, no, no, that's already way too long. We need something short and catchy that Daphne and her girls can say real quick. {cut to close-up of Strong Bad} You know, like, "The Max", or "The Emporium". It's never gonna work if they have to be like:

{Cut to a Teen Girl Squad scene with the slower version of the TGS music. Cheerleader and So and So are wearing towels. What's Her Face is wearing her regular clothes. The Ugly One is dressed like a mummy in a sarcophagus. Daphne is there too, wearing a towel with "Daph" written on it.}

DAPHNE: Hey gals! Let's towel off and meet up at... {words appear on screen as they are said slowly} Strong Bad's Strong Badian pi-

CHEERLEADER: {interrupting} This is taking too long!

WHAT'S HER FACE: I'm already bored!

SO AND SO: I'm going home!

THE UGLY ONE: I belong in a museum!

{Cut back to Strong Bad and The Cheat}

STRONG BAD: College girls don't have that kind of time, man. We gotta strike while the girl is still hot!

THE CHEAT: {exasperated The Cheat noises; he scribbles out "Strong Bad's Strong Badian" and writes "The" below it. The sign now reads "The Pizz"}

STRONG BAD: Yeah! The Pizz! I love it!

{A silhouette of Homestar Runner's head enters the bottom-left corner. Cut to Homestar Runner}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Umm, yeah. Lemme get a slice of p-roni, with some t-sauce, and {squinting} m-rooms.

{Cut to a wide shot of Strong Badia}

STRONG BAD: Homestar, get outta here! We're not a real pizza place! This is just a front to meet some girls!

{Cut to Homestar Runner}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ohhhhh. Lemme get a calzone, then. With, uh, p-loaf and m-cheese.

{Cut back to Strong Badia. The phone rings}

STRONG BAD: What the- Hang on a sec. {picks up a phone} Uhh... The Pizz? Thanks for calling?

THE KING OF TOWN: Yeah, lemme get about 50 {Homestar leaves to the left} Thanksgiving Lover's pizzas delivered to the only castle around here!

{Cut to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: King of Town? How did you even know about this place?

{The screen splits to show the King of Town on the other end}

THE KING OF TOWN: Well, if you must know, I spend most of my day calling random numbers in hopes of finding a new restaurant!

STRONG BAD: Well, we're not a real place. {footsteps offscreen} We're just a—

{Cut back to Strong Badia. Homestar is standing next to Strong Bad, wearing a The Pizz shirt and hat. The Cheat, also wearing a hat, leaves to the right}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {camera zooms in at Strong Bad and Homestar a crooked angle after each sentence} Table 44 needs more breadsticks! The soccer team left without paying! And the delivery guy caught a flat!

STRONG BAD: What are you talking about? Weren't you just a customer?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, but The Cheat hired me for the lunch rush. I mean, hey! Somebody's gotta make that muh-ney! {runs off}

STRONG BAD: This is all wrong! {cuts back to Strong Badia} The Cheat, in our effort to make a pretend pizza place in order to score some chicks, we somehow created a successful and well-reviewed actual pizza place!

{Cut through static to Strong Sad standing in front of a sign that reads "Review Revue". Music plays}

STRONG SAD: Rustic and filled with old-world cardboard charm, {the Pizz's logo rolls in from the bottom-right} the Pizz serves up Strong Badian-style pizza at a {points upwards} price that won't leave a dent in your wallet!

{A green checkmark and the text "pick!" appears with a ding. Cut back through static to Strong Bad and The Cheat in Strong Badia}

STRONG BAD: Maybe we're going about this the wrong way, The Cheat. Girls don't wanna meet people in person anymore! They wanna meet 'em online!

{Cut to a view of the Lappy 486 with a nondescript web browser open; the text "http://www.virtualpizz.biz" is typed into the location bar}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Welcome to virtualpizz.biz!

{The screen turns green. The "Virtualpizz.biz" logo and a button that says "login" appears, a cursor moves over the "login" button and clicks it. The screen changes to show a picture of a piece of pizza with eyes, arms, and legs; to the left is a field containing the text "purseaddikt89", below which are buttons for "EYES", "HAIR", "MOUTH", "NOSE", "TOPPING" and "CRUST".}

STRONG BAD: Where typical college girls can customize their own slice of pizza for some serious social networking.

{The cursor moves around and clicks the "eye" button twice, the "hair" button twice, the "nose" button three times, and the "topping" button twice; the features in question change with each click. The screen then zooms in to show two slices of pizza in Strong Badia with Strong Bad. The lower-left corner reads, "Pizz Points $500".}

STRONG BAD: With me!

COMPUTERIZED STRONG BAD: {in a monotonous version of Strong Bad's voice, lines appear in orange bubbles above him} Sup, Ladies. Welcome to the Pizz!

SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE LEFT: {in a monotonous version of Homestar Runner's voice, lines appear in red bubbles above him} Hey man, can I get a slice of p-roni?

SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE RIGHT: {in a monotonous version of the King of Town's voice, lines appear in purple bubbles above him} I'd like to place a pick-up order.

COMPUTERIZED STRONG BAD: You're not Daphne, you're... pizza trolls! Flame war!!

{Both slices of pizza catch fire and start running away}

SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE RIGHT: It burns!

SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE LEFT: Ahhhhhhhh!

COMPUTERIZED STRONG BAD: Well, I guess I should spend all these Pizz points.

{The number of Pizz points decreases and objects appear in Strong Badia: The arcade game and couch from the Basement and Homestar's dresser and cow lamp. The right fence is then painted like the Basement, the left pink with blue dots. As he does so, his $500 in Pizz Points drops with each item, eventually ending at "$-51". Cut through static to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: With a clunky UI and a played-out avatar system, Virtualpizz.biz {the Virtualpizz.biz logo enters from the bottom-right; Strong Sad points upwards} misses the mark!

{A red X with text "Miss!" appears over the logo with a buzzer sound.}

STRONG SAD: That, and every time I tried to add Strong Bad to my Pizz list, he'd call me Thelonious Dump!

{Cut back through static to Strong Bad at the Lappy 486}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well, I'm all outta ideas. I dunno how to get Daphne and her girls to come to my pizza joint.

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{Zoom out to a view of The Cheat standing to the right of Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: What do you mean, they're at your pizza joint? What pizza joint? The Pizz has competition?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises; makes a beckoning motion with his arm}

{Cut to the King of Town's barbecue, which has "CHEATSA PIZZA" written on a strip of masking tape on it}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} That's your pizza joint.

{Cut to show Strong Bad and The Cheat next to the barbecue}

STRONG BAD: Grill with some tape on it.

THE CHEAT: {smiles, affirming The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Lemme see this.

{Strong Bad opens the grill; balloons and confetti come out and high pitched, excited voices are heard. Strong Bad looks surprised. Cut to a silhouette of the same scene as the balloons drift off-screen. Cut back to Strong Bad and The Cheat.}

STRONG BAD: {covers barbecue again, cutting out the sound effects} The Cheat, this is amazing! Count me in! {sotto voce} Do you guys take Pizz points?

THE CHEAT: {affirming The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Count me in!

{Strong Bad opens the barbecue and jumps in; The Cheat follows him. The grill shuts behind him. The grill opens again and The Cheat partially emerges, looking dazed and covered in lipstick.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{The Cheat goes back into the barbecue and it shuts. The King of Town enters from the left carrying a lighter, a can of gasoline, a container of lighter fluid that reads "Lite em up Dan" and a bag of charcoal that reads "King of Town Charcoal!"}

THE KING OF TOWN: Doo doo doot doot doo...

{Cut back to the Lappy 486. The New Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "girls" at the end to see an extra scene with Strong Sad.

{Strong Sad at the Review Revue} STRONG SAD: Strong Bad phones this one in with {pointing upwards} Strong Bad Email 179. {sbemail179.html slides at the bottom-right of the screen} Despite a strong showing from fan favorite Strong Sad, {slaps his stomach} the email ultimately fizzles due to a heavy reliance on what can only be called "internet pizza jokes". {a red X and the text "MISS!" appears on top of sbemail179.html}

• Click on "pizza joint" at the end to see an extra scene with Homestar.

{Homestar is dressed in his "The Pizz" uniform, dancing on a blue background} HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Party! Cheatsa Party!

Fun Facts

Explanations

• A calzone consists of pizza toppings and ricotta or mozzarella cheese wrapped inside a large piece of pizza dough.
• A flame war is a common Internet term for a heated (and hateful) argument.
• A troll is a common Internet term used for people who join online communities just to annoy other users and incite arguments and flame wars.
• "UI" stands for user interface, the design of a program (or web page) and how users can interact with it.
• An avatar is an Internet user's representation of themselves—in this case, a model used in the social networking site of Virtual Pizz.
• Strong Bad's "We gotta strike while the girl is still hot" is a play on the expression regarding needing to "strike while the iron is still hot".

Trivia

• www.virtualpizz.biz was a real fan-created website (by Matt Howell, as noted in an HTML comment) that was registered about half an hour after this email debuted. The site featured the login page from the email, and clicking the login button brought you to this email. An Easter egg, accessed by clicking on the dot in .biz, revealed a link to an about page, notably titled "No Probalo!". The URL now redirects to this email.
• The Floppy Disk Container reads "D".
• This is the first email since the debut of New Paper with no complaint about it from Strong Bad. This is also the first email with the New Paper printing out without any problems or setbacks.
• The bushes in the Field are rendered in a previously unseen style, used only in this email.
• The "Pizz Points" for each item are: $50 for the TROGDOR! arcade machine, $150 for the couch, $50 for the stand, $1 for the Cow Lamp, and $150 for each wallpaper. The total Pizz Points for all items is $551 — leaving Strong Bad $51 in debt.
• This is another instance of Strong Sad smiling, which occurs while he's reviewing The Pizz.
• Despite claiming that he is popular with "the ladies", this may be the first time Strong Bad has ever come in contact with females other than Marzipan.
• The YouTube and Podstar Runner description for this email reads, "Strong Bad opens a pizza joint to score some chicks."

Remarks

• Strong Bad complained about not getting emails from college girls in hygiene. This is the second email in a row whose author identifies as a female college student.
• The Teen Girl Squad segment is written on an older style sheet of paper, while this email debuted months after TGS Issue 13 was released. The newer sheet has been used since Issue 11.
• While in his The Pizz uniform, Homestar appears to have hair.
• In the scene in Strong Badia, the Tire and fence are much closer to the left edge of the dirt than normal.
• This is the first Strong Bad Email with the Lappy 486 where the laptop displays a screen that contains a full-color UI with a visible mouse pointer (the Lappy normally appears to have a DOS-style operating system).
• In the VirtualPizz.biz version of Strong Badia, the Stop Sign has no text.

Goofs

• The bottom squinting overlay is too far up, resulting in a small section of Homestar's eyes briefly being visible.
• When Homestar comes in to "order a pizza", his head is off-center.
• When the left slice of pizza enters the online world, the tire overlaps it.
• In the Strong Sad review Easter egg, part of the Sbemail179.html shadow is missing until Strong Sad pats his belly.
  • Also, in every scene with Strong Sad, whenever he puts his hand up, most of his fingers are bent the wrong way.
• When Strong Bad is talking on the phone with the King of Town, and Homestar is standing next to him, Homestar's head is not quite in line with his body.

Fixed Goofs

• When this email was first released, black dots flashed on Homestar's face when the camera zoomed in on him talking.
• When virtual Strong Bad spends his pizz points, the polkadot fence wallpaper used to overlap the tire. This was quickly fixed.

Inside References

• This email prominently features pizza.
• Strong Bad again says competition in his Mexican accent.
• Credenza is seen in the background of the Review Revue.
• The background of the Review Revue is from pizzaz.
• The King of Town uses "Lite Em Up Dan" brand lighter fluid.
• The music playing in Review Revue is from portrait.
• "Cheatsa parties" were previously mentioned in mile, and Homestar's Easter egg dance is identical to the broken animation of a headless Homestar dancing found at the end of the Flash file. This may be a clue that the Easter egg was originally going to be used in "mile" when clicking on "pizza parties", but was later replaced.
• The sides of the pizza boxes read "Pizza Box" / "Neighborhood Style".
• The "CHEATSA PiZZA" sign is a use of lowercase i's.
• "P-roni", "t-sauce", "m-rooms", "p-loaf" and "m-cheese" are examples of abbreviations that might be used around The Office (similar to "p-nade").
• Homestar was previously a pizza delivery boy in privileges.

Real-World References

• The Ugly One's line about belonging in a museum echoes one of Indiana Jones's famous catch phrases.
• The King of Town ordering "Thanksgiving Lover's" pizzas is a reference to pizza shops that sell "Meat Lover's" or "Veggie Lover's" pizzas, particularly Pizza Hut.
• VirtualPizz.biz spoofs commercial social massively multi-player online games such as Habbo Hotel, Club Penguin, and Coke Music.
• Homestar's Easter egg song is based on a commercial for the Pizza Party board game.
• Strong Bad's nickname for Strong Sad, "Thelonious Dump", is a reference to famous jazz pianist Thelonious Monk.
• "Internet pizza jokes" are actually a type of humor. Some web sites actually offer virtual imaginary pizza.
• The Cheat having a restaurant in the grill is similar to the Looney Tunes cartoon Rabbit Every Monday where Bugs Bunny convinces Yosemite Sam that there is a party going on in a wood burning oven.
• The Cheat's piece of masking tape says, "Cheatsa Pizza". This is a reference to the Little Caesars catch phrase, "Pizza! Pizza!"

Fast Forward

• A 'Slumber Party Style' Pizza Box from the Pizz is shown in the following email, slumber party.
  • Homestar would also sing the "Cheatsa Party" song, replacing "cheatsa" with "slumber", in the same email.
• In Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective, a billboard can be seen advertising the Pizz.
  • The Lite Em Up Dan lighter fluid would be seen again in several cartoons.
• Review Revue would appear again in email thunder.
• "Cheatsa" is again mentioned in The Homestar Runner Enters the Spooky Woods.

DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Ryan Sterrit, Matt Chapman)

MIKE: Spray it!

RYAN: Ah.

MIKE: Ryan just used a little singer's saving grace.

RYAN: Yeah.

MIKE: Herbal medicine for, uh, your throat.

RYAN: Soothing, soothing throat spray.

MATT: I had to get that while too, when we were making that, that Wii game, just to get by. I'm wearing a The Pizz shirt right now, everybody. I'm a total lame-o.

MIKE: And Ryan's, uh, got his Cubbies shirt on, 'cause today's the first day of the playoffs.

RYAN: Big day.

MIKE: Playing the, uh, who do we got, Dodgers?

RYAN: Dodgers.

MIKE: Yeah, that's right, that's gonna be a good series.

RYAN: I'd rather see them play later in the day.

MIKE: I know, that's {unintelligible}.

MATT: Look at that Strong Badia fence! It has grain on it!

MIKE: I gotta remember that.

MATT: Yeah! I don't remember doing that! Look at The Ugly One! {Mike laughs} She belongs in a museum.

RYAN: Tut-uncommon?

MATT: Ryan's fave. {pause} Um, do you think, uh, do you think in that new Indiana Jones movie he says something about something belonging in a museum?

RYAN: Did anyone see that movie?

MATT: That, is that out on DVD yet?

MIKE: Soon.

MATT: It's soon, Christine asked for it.

RYAN: Soon. Before Christmas.

MATT: Whoa, it's some nice narrowed Homestar eyes.

MIKE: Gotta remember...

MATT: Ryan, we're gonna need you to start taking notes when we do these commentaries.

MIKE: We're discovering all these graphics that we made that are good that we would reuse if we knew they existed.

MATT: Oh, this is another instance of Unplugged Phone.

{laughter}

MATT: The Thanksgiving Lover's pizza, let's make one.

MIKE: I know, we should do that this year.

RYAN: It sounds good.

MIKE: Yeah, so...

MATT: Stuffing, cranberry sauce...

MIKE: Turkey...

RYAN: Gravy.

MIKE: Gravy.

MATT: I've wondered why turkey isn't on...

RYAN: The turkey melt at, uh, Waffle House.

MIKE: What do you, chicken, you can get chicken.

MATT: It's very good, yeah. Waffle House got with the game and added turkey.

MIKE: But that's shaved, like deli-style turkey.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: For the pizza, I think we should have...

RYAN: Like thick actual turkey pieces.

MIKE: Just yeah, like you would... like actual chunks of chicken that would be on a pizza.

MATT: Did I ever tell the story in a commentary about the last day of school in sixth grade? Everybody went to Pizza Hut, like the whole grade, and, uh, and Jamie and his parents were like there and bought a bunch of pizzas. And at the end, I remember Jamie, like, trying to collect money. {laughter} And like, we were like, "We just showed up at Pizza Hut and you had bought a bunch of pizzas! We, I don't know!"

MIKE: I don't think he got any cash from anybody.

MATT: "We're ten! You think we got cash on us?"

RYAN: He's probably keeping it, too.

{laughter}

MATT: Uh, the Review Revue is a good show. I think that should just replace Strong Bad Emails from now on. The Review Revue.

MIKE: A real hit. It was fun to make the Virtual Pizz. Didn't someone buy it, then, like immediately? For like half an hour there was...

RYAN: And then offer to sell it to you for a lot of money?

MATT: No, I don't think they... I think they just put it up and linked to the thing, the, the cartoon. That's a, that's a good, some good avatars, Mike.

MIKE: Did I make those?

MATT: Uh... yeah.

MIKE: Tha— I didn't know if you were complimenting me, I didn't know if I had to say "thank you."

RYAN: I like "pizza trolls."

MATT: Habbo Hotel, maybe, right?

MIKE: I remember one glorious day of playing Habbo Hotel in 2000, maybe.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: I think you IMed me from work, you're like, "Hey, check this out."

MATT: Yup. Hey and... lookit! Cow lamp, you can really, you can really trick out your Strong Badia zone in, in Virtual Pizz. Ooo, that's a miss!

MIKE: It's lame! Is that Credenza behind them?

MATT: Yeah, probably. It's the only plant we've ever... the only potted plant...

MIKE: Credenza's graphics could be updated.

MATT: Yeah, they're terrible! And they made them for that video game and they look exactly like our terrible drawing! {Mike laughs} And we wanted to be like, "You know, you can make it look more like a real plant."

MIKE: What was "D?" What game is that?

MATT: I don't... It was this game that I got back in the day and my computer wasn't good enough to play it, so now computers are too good to play it. Like I got, I found the CD of it the other day, the CD-ROM, rather, and tried to play it. Had a lot of, uh, full-motion video, I think.

MIKE: Would this be considered hammerspace, what's going on with the, the grill?

MATT: Yeah, like Snoopy's...

MIKE: Like he just jumps in.. okay, so that's definitely hammerspace.

MATT: Snoopy's doghouse.

MIKE: Did you know about hammerspace, Ry?

RYAN: {"no" sound} Mm mm.

MIKE: It's like when a cartoon character pulls a knife out from behind them, out of nowhere. {quickly} I learned it from the Wiki.

This DVD commentary transcript needs to be checked for transcription errors. You can help the Homestar Runner Wiki by proofreading it.

Fun Facts

• The commentary was recorded October 1, 2008, based on the baseball game information. The Dodgers beat the Cubs 7-2 in Game 1 of the National League Division Series that day.
• The Homestar Wiki pages Disconnected Telephones and Hammerspace are mentioned.
• Ryan mentions "Tut uncommon," a common pun on Tutankhamun.
• Ryan also mentions Waffle House's turkey melt.

External Links

• watch "pizza joint"
• watch "pizza joint" on YouTube
• watch "pizza joint" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "pizza joint"
• forum thread re: "pizza joint"