Garage sale

"Go back to Stuckey's!"

Strong Bad gives his thoughts on "garbage" sales and "garbage" sale patrons.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Marzipan, Bubs, Strong Sad, Senor Cardgage, Coach Z, The Cheat, Frank Bennedetto, Homestar Runner

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Homestar Runner's House

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, May 2, 2005

Running Time: 3:28

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD:strongbad email.exe Disc Four

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Here comes another email that I'll answer for you! Here comes another email that I'll answer for you!

>subject: garage sale=money! >hey strong bad!
>I seriously think you need to have a garage sale!! I mean
>think of all da things you could get with all that money...
>

>cat (yeah that's my real name)

{Strong Bad reads the first line exaggeratedly fast, as it is written. He over-emphasizes the "da", and doesn't read the part in parentheses, instead saying...}

STRONG BAD: ...and something I don't wanna read. {typing} What sort of 'da things' are we talking about here, Catman? 'Da bomb' or, uh, 'da boyz' or even, {not typed} uh, {typing} 'da hood?' Nah, I don't think I want any of dose. {pronounced as "doze"} {clears screen} Lemme tell you a thing or two about garage sales: Ya ever get the feeling that the people just got lazy taking the trash out, so they stopped right there on the driveway and started putting price tags on things? I mean, isn't it just a little bit suspicious that there's only a one-letter difference between 'garage sale' and 'garbage sale?' {says "gar-bahge", to rhyme with "garage"} Except, don't ever say 'garbage' {same way} like that. That's, like, the only joke Moms have and they can keep it for all I care. So then there's the issue of the sort of folks that frequent garage sales: bottom feeders, lemme tell ya.

{Cut to Strong Bad's garage sale in the middle of the Field. There is a sign reading "GARBAGE SALE" (with the 'B' crossed out), and [#Some_Items_for_Sale merchandise] is found everywhere with various price tags. Marzipan walks up.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} First, there's the haggler, {"THE HAGGLER" appears in the middle of the screen with a bowler derby on it for a moment.} the guy who spends all day trying to talk you down from a quarter to twenty-two cents for some worthless piece of crap.

{The camera scrolls over to Bubs and Strong Bad. Bubs is holding an ugly doll.}

BUBS: I'll give ya two thin dimes for this pantyhose doll.

STRONG BAD: First off... all... that is Aunt Gert. {Bubs squints at the doll} And secondly, she's worth way more than the quarter I'm asking for her! Heck, I paid six-fifty for her new. And them's 1998 dollars!

BUBS: Well, maybe if she was wearing a troll outfit, or a witch's hat or somethin'...

STRONG BAD: I'll let it go for twenty-four cents.

BUBS: {grimly} Twenty-two and a half!

STRONG BAD: You, my friend... just bought yourself an Aunt Gert.

{Cut away to The Field.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Next is the lurker. {"THE LURKER" appears in the middle of the screen with a candle and two skulls on it for a moment.} You know, the shady night-manager at Stuckey's type, who shades around all day but never buys anything.

{The camera pans down to Strong Sad and Senor Cardgage looking at merchandise. Strong Sad steps away from Senor Cardgage.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And you're like, "Is he there just to be seen?"

SENOR CARDGAGE: Look at this can of peas, Helvetica. Won't you help me buy it for you?

STRONG SAD: I'm finding it hard to express just how uncomfortable I am right now.

SENOR CARDGAGE: I dan't know why. Exprecially since you have this can of peas to look forward to.

{Strong Bad walks up.}

STRONG BAD: Look, if you're not gonna buy anything, you gotta leave. You're drivin' away all my best customers!

{Senor Cardgage walks off with the can of peas.}

STRONG SAD: Ugh, I feel like I need a chemical shower after talking to that guy! Do we have an emergency eyewash station?

STRONG BAD: At least he bought something, lurker! Go back to Stuckey's. {voiceover} And last, but not least...

{Cut to another part of the garage sale, this time with Marzipan and Coach Z. "COACH Z", with a basketball instead of the O and a towel hanging off the Z, appears in the middle of the screen. Coach Z is carrying a variety of items all labeled "Great for baby!". In front of them is a picnic blanket with more "Great for baby!" items on it, except for one, which is labeled "Great for Graw Mad"}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} ...there's Coach Z.

{The text disappears.}

MARZIPAN: Coach Z, may I ask why you're buying up all the "great for baby" items?

COACH Z: I'd prefer that ya didn't.

{cut back to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Obviously, wasting your Saturday morning just to sell $3.19 worth of trash isn't the real reason to have a garage sale. It's to get people out of their houses so The Cheat can ransack them!!

{Cut to Homestar's living room. The place is a wreck, and The Cheat is standing in the middle of the room near a large bag. Frank Bennedetto is lying on its side in the foreground.}

THE CHEAT: {humming while stuffing Homestar's cow lamp into the bag}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {popping out of the bag} Hey, can you put this cow lamp back? {throws it out} We're running out of room in here. You wouldn't get much for that thing anyways. It's not even a real cow.

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} See? And then we make a killing when we sell the stuff back to them a few weeks later at an inflated price.

{Cut to the garage sale. Marzipan and Strong Bad are standing near Marzipan's answering machine on a table.}

MARZIPAN: Ooh, this is perfect! I've always wanted an answering machine.

ANSWERING MACHINE: {in Marzipan's voice} It's a great day at Marzipan's! Please leave me a message.

{Marzipan looks at Strong Bad angrily, while Strong Bad looks around shiftily.}

STRONG BAD: Uh, see, it is perfect! It already knows your name, even. Heh! Oooh, heh. Eee. Oh. Hmm. Peow! {runs off}

MARZIPAN: {no longer angry} More like, pree-ow.

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

"I'm da bomb"

• At the beginning, click on "da bomb," "da boyz", and "da hood" to bring up T-Shirts with phrases incorporating each term.
• At the end, click on the Heavy Lourde to see Homestar make an offer he can't refuse.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {wearing a SOLD price tag} We got a Homestar Runner for sale! Slightly used and mostly confused. We can't give these things away. {leans} I'll take it! {leans other way} I'll take twelve. {stands upright} Drive one home today!

• Click on the answering machine at the end to see more of Coach Z.

{Marzipan and Coach Z are at the garage sale in the same positions as before.} MARZIPAN: This garage sale is more like a gar-bahge sale. STRONG BAD: {leaning in from offscreen} DAHDAHDAHDAHDAH! Moms Only! COACH Z: Oh, then I'm okay to say it! {Strong Bad and Marzipan look shocked, disturbed, and confused by Coach Z's comment.}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Strong Sad asks for a chemical shower and emergency eyewash station, which are two safety features found in laboratories where hazardous chemicals are used, as well as in the majority of chemistry classrooms.

Trivia

• There are two messages on Marzipan's answering machine.
• According to The Inflation Calculator, a "1998 dollar" would be worth about $1.16 in 2005, when this email was released. So Strong Bad paying $6.50 for Aunt Gert in 1998 is equivalent to paying $7.54 for her in 2005.
• The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "typing tutor jr".

Remarks

• While it is dubious that any of the objects listed as "Great for Baby!" are appropriate for infants, there are two specifically known to be "inappropriate" for them. The first one is the Helicopter—in Cheat Commandos, as it is said to be for "Ages 3–5". The second is a barrel labeled "Cold Ones".
• Coach Z is holding the "we are the scorpions!" box from your friends, but the text "we are the" is missing from it.
• There has not been a half cent in US currency since 1857.
• Strong Bad refers to the sender as "catman". However, the sender may be female, as "Cat" is often short for "Catherine".
• This email uses an older design of Strong Bad's face.
• The Cheat has an extra spot near his tuft of hair in this email.

Goofs

• When the camera scrolls to the left at the beginning of the "Haggler" scene, the Garage sale sign suddenly disappears just before it should go off screen.
• The image of Gooblies is obviously flipped, as you can see if you zoom in on his washing care label when Strong Sad moves out of the way, the "G" is displayed backwards, and less curved. You can also see that the "G" is on Gooblies' left, while it normally appears on its right.
• "Moms" in "the only joke Moms have" could be expected to be lowercase, except when it used as a title, such as in Western cultures.
• When Marzipan blinks during her confused expression, her outline is intruded.

Inside References

• "Graw Mad" is Strong Bad's nickname for Strong Mad in the facts.
• Homestar's cow lamp first appeared in caper, where The Cheat broke it by accident.
• "Preeeeow" is the onomatopoeia for the sound The Paper makes when it comes down.
• The Haggler sign's hat is a recolored version of Homsar's bowler derby.
• Homestar has previously described Senor Cardgage as smelling like pea soup, in kind of cool.
• Coach Z's odd behavior made him seem as though he was pregnant or going through gender confusion.
• Strong Sad feels like taking a chemical shower.
• Strong Bad pronounces Cat's name as "Catm'n".
• Marzipan's answering machine message, "It's a great day at Marzipan's!" sounds very similar to Strong Bad in part-time job when he declares "It's a great day at Bubs' Concession Stand!"

Real-World References

• Stuckey's is a chain of roadside convenience stores found on highways throughout the Southeast, Southwest, and Midwest United States.
• Senor Cardgage refers to Strong Sad as Helvetica, a famous sans-serif typeface.
• The whole email resembles an old comedy VHS film (by J2 Communications) called "How to Have a Money-Making Garage Sale", in which Phyllis Diller discusses sensible and frivolous tips as well as the many different "species" of customers who come by.
• The "gar-bazh" pronunciation was originally made popular in Hefty Trash Bag commercials by comedian Jonathan Winters.
• There was a short-lived comic series called "Catman", but in this case, Strong Bad is likely making a parody of the more popular Batman. In another example of the many rock references of the Homestar Runner world, Strong Bad may also be referencing Peter Criss of KISS fame, who was known by the stagename of Catman.
• "Da boyz" and "da hood" are references to Boyz N Da Hood.

Fast Forward

• Homestar's line "I'll take it! I'll take twelve!" is later used in an Easter egg in looking old.

Some Items for Sale

• Except for the candle, the egg carton, the Swiss Cake Rolls, and Aunt Gert, all prices refer to the number of the email in which the item first appeared.

On Display

• Cheat Commandos Troop Transport - $93
  • The price refers to army, the email which introduced the Cheat Commandos.
• Old-Timey Strong Bad's Telegramophone from 50 emails - $50
• Eggs from morning routine - $54
• Box labeled "riverquest safariventure" from theme park - $1.04
• Ab-Abber 2000 from suntan - $77
• Heavy Lourde from homsar - $2
• "Words I Probably Said" tape from autobiography - $67
• Swiss Cake Rolls - $50
  • The price indicates 50 emails, but Swiss Cake Rolls first appeared in invisibility - which was Strong Bad Email #41.
• 'Lectric Boots from extra plug - $116
• "sb_snailmail.exe" mailbox from other days - $111
• Tandy 400 Floppy Disk Container, which first appeared in little animal (disk showing is "typing tutor jr") - $23
• Strong Bad's Fondue Pot from 50 emails - $50
• Gooblies from suntan - $77
• The Cloitsterizer from suntan: "Great for Graw Mad" - $77
• Keg of Cold Ones: "Great for Baby!" - $38
  • This particular keg has not been seen before, but it is similar in shape to the Melonade keg seen in helium and other places.
• Cheat Commandos Helicopter: "Great for Baby!" - $93
  • The price refers to army, the email which introduced The Cheat Commandos.
• Marzipan's Answering Machine, the PhoneTime XL8 - $129
  • The price refers to the current email, which is the first one to have the PhoneTime XL8 outside an Easter egg.
• Purple Candle from 3 Times Halloween Funjob - $00
  • The price is zero since the candle had never been seen in an email before this one.
• Egg Carton from 3 Times Halloween Funjob - $EGG

Hidden Items

• A bag of Potate chips (price not given).
  • Appears out of frame in the Flash file when Bubs is haggling with Strong Bad.
• "More Like You Write A Book About Come-back Jokes, NERD!!" book from 50 emails: "Great for Baby!" - $50
  • Appears out of frame in the Flash file when Bubs is haggling with Strong Bad.
  • Presumably bought by Coach Z, as it appears in his arms later in the cartoon.

Sold Items

• "Aunt Gert" pantyhose doll - $.25
  • Sold to Bubs for 22½¢
• "Canopy's" can of peas - $99
  • Presumably bought by Senor Cardgage for "Helvetica".
  • The price refers to different town (email 99), in which The King of Town was buried alive in a box of peas.
• Clock Radio from 12:00: "Great for Baby!" (price not given)
  • Presumably bought by Coach Z
• Box of scorpions from your friends: "Great for Baby!" (price not given)
  • Presumably bought by Coach Z
• Homestar Runner - SOLD
  • Apparently bought by himself

YouTube Version

• The YouTube description for this email is "Strong Bad breaks down garage sales and the people who frequent them."
• The Homestar Runner Easter egg plays automatically.
• The Coach Z Easter egg plays automatically afterwards.

DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Matt Chapman, Ryan Sterritt and Jonathan Howe)

MATT: {grunts}

MIKE: {simultaneously} Ooh. Aah. Ooh. Aah.

RYAN?: {simultaneously} {beatboxes}

MATT: Right now. Here comes another email that I'll answer for you. Here comes another...

MIKE: {inaudible} —commentary...

MATT: All right.

JOHN: That was good, guys.

MIKE: So... this is, uh, the last email that we've made up to this point of the time that we're doing the commentaries.

MATT: Yeah we don't even know what email 130's gonna be like and we might even start making it today.

MIKE: That's true and we still don't know what it's gonna be about.

MATT: I really like Mike's work on that Easter egg of those, those, uh, "da-something" T-shirts.

MIKE: Oh those shirts. "Da boyz."

MATT: Those two babies are—

MIKE: Cute babies.

MATT: And the one "da hood" is awesome! That skull—

MIKE: The skull and that building, yeah.

RYAN: {simultaneously} Yeah, looked into the— yeah.

JOHN: Why wasn't it a "da hoodie"?

{long pause}

JOHN: Um...

MIKE: Jonathan has ruined the commentary once again.

JOHN: {laughing} Oh, it's not true.

MATT: So what else? Ah, we were talking about other mom jokes, like there's "gar-bahge", there's Tar—they call Target "tar-zhay". All right, um, there's a couple others... I don't remember what they were. That's, that's just Homsar's derby hat on "The Haggler" with— and I changed the colors.

RYAN: I like, I like seeing all the things from the previous emails in there.

MIKE: {overlapping} Yeah I didn't— Matt did, uh, all this part so I didn't even notice most of this stuff until the second or third watching.

RYAN: The tape...

MATT: The price, the price, um, the price on all of 'em usually corresponds to the email it was from.

MIKE: Really?

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: A little insider trading...

MATT: Yeah. Except The Cheat Commando— I think anything that's The Cheat Commandos I make it be to the "army" email, 'cause that's where Firebert was from.

MIKE: Ah.

JOHN: And there's a lot more expression; you see Bubs is sneering; he's like lowering his eyes.

MIKE: Anytime a character's got squinty or angry eyes you know Matt animated that part.

JOHN: {laughs}

MIKE: Ah, good ol' Senor Cardgage. I guess he's a real character now.

JOHN: What was the lobster name?

MIKE: Gooblies. That was a real, that was a real stuffed animal that Matt had. There's Gooblies right there.

MATT: We went over that on the last DVD.

JOHN: Gooby.

MATT: Gooby. Um, the can of peas is a clever play on words; it's Canopy's, like "Canopy-apostrophe-s."

JOHN: Ohhh.

MIKE: {simultaneously} Ahhh. Clever.

MATT: The Canopy's brand can of peas.

JOHN: That's clever.

MIKE: That's too much for me.

JOHN: Yeah.

MIKE: I like the back of Strong Sad's knees there.

MATT: Thanks.

MIKE: Did you make that just for that?

MATT: I did that.

MIKE: It's a little— he's— they're kinda worn out. He bends them a lot it looks like. He needs to get some lotion on the back of his knees.

MIKE: {talking about Coach Z} What does he have in his hands there?

MATT: He's got the Strong Bad comebacks book: "More Like, YOU Write a Book About Comebacks, Nerd". Uh, the alarm clock, and maybe something else.

MIKE: Alarm clock might be okay for a baby.

MATT: Yeah, probably wouldn't know what to do with it.

MIKE: Or at least for someone with a baby.

MATT: The cow lamp. We need to make the cowlamp; I want a cow lamp so bad.

MIKE: Yeah, make it. Ryan!

MATT: {overlapping} Somebody make one for me for my birthday.

MIKE: Ryan, make that.

RYAN: I got it! I'm on this one!

MIKE: I like this, her intro here. It's a great day at Marzipan's.

MATT: They would make me say that, or they wanted you to say that when I worked at Mindspring.

RYAN: It's a great day at—

MATT: "It's a great day at Mindspring! This is Matt with customer service. How can I have your email address or account number, please?" And they'd go "I don't know, how can you?"

Fun Facts

• The version of the back of Strong Sad's legs used in this cartoon was actually first used in origins.
• MindSpring was a major Internet service provider which merged with EarthLink on February 4, 2000, with the company retaining the EarthLink name.
  • The description for the Podstar Runner 2006 release of isp would refer to MindSpring.

External Links

• watch "garage sale"
• watch "garage sale" on YouTube
• watch "garage sale" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "garage sale"
• forum thread re: "garage sale"