Integral Article

"Count us off, The Ugly One."

The Homestar Runner universe contains several names of characters, places, sound effects, etc., where an article (A, An, or The) is treated as integral to the name. With varying consistency, these names will include the article, even when it makes the construction of the sentence extremely odd ("And out poured a lifetime supply of fishsticks. And a The Cheat!!!!"). The Cheat is the most renowned and recognizable example. Even for The Cheat, however, this rule is occasionally [#Exceptions overlooked or suspended].

The very first appearance of The Cheat, in the Original Book, did not follow this practice. Although he was referred to as "that CHEAT" and "the cheat", it wasn't really treated as his name—note the lack of capitalization. He was simply being used by Strong Bad as a cheat to win the competition. However, by the time he appeared in A Jumping Jack Contest, The Brothers Chaps had presumably decided to adopt "The Cheat" as his official name; several characters address him as such. Thus the unusual inclusion of the article may have started as an inside joke: the brothers poking fun at themselves for choosing a passing phrase from the book as a major character's name.

Names with an Integral Article

Name	Sample Usage	Comments
Il Cartographer	yes, wrestling: "He's the Il Cartographer, I mean, Gardenboy!"	"Il" is Italian for the article "the".
The Cheat	The title of 500 The Cheats	Only rarely has The Cheat been named without the article. This practice even extends to his language ("Learn to speak... The Cheat" in cheat talk) and species ("My very own The Cheat!" in flashback). When Marzipan returns from a date with The Cheat in Date Nite, Homestar Runner angrily asks her if her name has become "The Marzipan". Exceptions From @StrongBadActual[1]: STRONG BAD: Sometimes, only onetimes, the 'the' is silent.
The Chekt	secret recipes: "Come down off that smokestack and eat your the Chekt!"	The Chekt has never been named without the article. The "the" is never capitalized.
The Chief	Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque: "There's a The Chief seething behind it."	Although The Chief is an unseen character, he is never named without the article. This is the only time it is ever seen in an instance where it is clearly integral, though.
The Dampening	Somber Vacation: "It's called 'The Dampening', and it helps me focus."	Its name appears twice in the short, both times with "the".
The Dead	Most in the Graveyard: "Okay, never mind! Sorry, the dead!"	The second time this name appears in the toon, it is clearly integral.
The Deke	autobiography: "But somebody musta slipped him some drugs or something before the game because he didn't see me and he passed it to The Deke instead and The Deke SLAM-DUNKED IT!"	The Deke has never been used in an ungrammatical construction, but every appearance implies the article is part of the name.
The Denzel	bedtime story: "A grodalated old sponge covered in Band-Aids which he affectionately refers to as 'The Denzel.'"	The Denzel has never actually been shown in an ungrammatical construction, but it's somewhat implied that the article is part of the name.
The fact that The Ugly One was alive a second ago	Teen Girl Squad Issue 12: "Ow! My the fact that I was alive a second ago!"	The only time the fact is referred to, but the article is obviously integral.
The Flamingo	Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 11.2: "I've lost uhmm-my napkin! It's the one I always use when I eat buffalo wings, and I can't find it anywhere. Now, it answers to the name 'The Flamingo'."	This is the only reference to The Flamingo, but it is clearly an integral article.
The Geddup Noise	geddup noise: "THIS IS NOT A THE GEDDUP NOISE T-SHIRT"	The Geddup Noise generally only includes the article when grammar allows. Strong Sad's T-shirts, for some reason, are the exception to this.
The Girlfriend Formerly Known as Marzipan	Jibblies 2: "Hey, the girlfriend formerly known as Marzipan, I think you missed a little bit when you were shaving."	This is the only instance in which Marzipan is referred to with this nickname, but when using it the article is clearly integral.
The Homestar Runner	That A Ghost: "The Homestar Runner, I'm suh-suh-suh-suh-scared!"	The Homestar Runner is never named without the article, but this is the only instance where it was clearly integral. Of course, it's notable that the article distinguishes him from his latter-day counterpart, Homestar Runner. However, in pop-up, Strong Bad says, "Bye, The Homestar Runner," and Homestar calls himself "the me" in Strongest Man in the World, following the usage of the Original Book, and "the him" in the remake of Where My Hat Is At?, following the usage in the original version.
An Ice Machine	Stinkomanual: "'LOOK! I'M TRYING! OKAY?!' -An Ice Machine"	This boss's name is featured similarly to The Liekand's.
The Ladies	2 emails: "You said there'd be the ladies!"	Except when the Ladies' Choice Awards logo and Strong Sad refer to them, the ladies in the email are never referred to without "the".
Lappy 486	retirement: "The Lappy! You're back...y!"	One of the few cases in which the Lappy is referred to with such an article.
The Ledge	79 Seconds Left: "Hi, The Ledge From Now On."	Strong Bad clearly demands that everyone call him "The Ledge", with the integral article included.
The Liekand	Stinkomanual: "'Fashion first, ask sections later.' -The Liekand"	The name of this Stinkoman 20X6 boss appears only briefly in the Stinkomanual. Even so, the article seems to be treated as part of its name.
The Moon	Mr. Shmallow: "That's right, The Moon."	"The Moon" was only used as a proper name once in this toon. Other references to the moon (including in the same toon) are constructed as one would normally expect.
The One With Baggy Pants	Teen Girl Squad Issue 5: "Dear the one with baggy pants, we're on SPRING BREAK!"	This is the only time What's Her Face has been referred to by that name, but it is clearly integral.
The Paper	for kids: "THE PAPER, PLEASE TAKE US HOME."	The Paper is never named without the article.
The Poopsmith	King of Town Email: "Anybody? The Poopsmith? That little chef guy? I need some help here!"	This is a rare instance where The Poopsmith was clearly named with an integral article, along with Homestar addressing him as "The Poopsmith" in the show. There are many occasions when he has been referred to as "a Poopsmith", "my Poopsmith", or simply "Poopsmith", although Strong Bad did capitalize the The when typing in secret identity. Later, in The King of Town's Very Own Quite Popular Cartoon Show!, The King of Town directly addressed him as "The Poopsmith".
The Robot	Strongest Man in the World: "Our returning champion, the walking metal robot, The Robot!"	The Announcer appears to be counting "the" as part of The Robot's name when he says this line. In the Original Book, he is not referred to without an article either.
The Sneak	2 emails: "How was that phraseology, The Sneak?"	The Sneak is never named without the article.
The Stick	Baddest of the Bands: "I never did think it was such a bad little The Stick."	The Stick is never named without the article, but only a few times has it been unambiguously integral.
The Strap	space program: "Nice work, The Strap!"	This is the only time Strap is given an integral article.
The Teach	geddup noise: "Isn't that right, The Teach?"	The Teach's name only appears twice. The other appearance was on Monkey D's T-shirt in an Easter egg, where it was unclear whether the article was integral. Since The Teach's appearance and name are based on those of The Cheat, it is unsurprising that The Teach inherits the integral article.
The Ugly One	Teen Girl Squad Issue 8: "Count us off, The Ugly One."	The Ugly One is never named without the article (except toward the end of Issue 14), but only in a few cases was it clearly integral. Note that her father's name is Manolios Ugly One, suggesting that "The" is actually her first name.
The words 'smiley face'	concert: "Wipe that smiley face off your the words 'smiley face.'"	This is the only reference to the words, but the article in it is clearly integral.
The Yellow Dart	english paper: "Alright The Yellow Dart, you owe me, man."	Although The Yellow Dart is a nickname Strong Bad made up and not an actual character, the article is still obviously integral.

Fun Facts

• Wizard's character page on the Mellow Mushroom site has a page title that reads: "Not THE Wizard, Just Wizard."

See Also

• Nondescript Nouns
• Not X