Caffeine

"Did you just say 'parakeet'?"

Strong Bad is asked to give Strong Sad some caffeine, and decides to try it out as a project for the All-Wide Science Fair.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Sad, The Cheat, Marzipan, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Homestar Runner (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Basement of the Brothers Strong, The Field, Marzipan's House, The Classroom

Computer: Compy 386

Date: Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Running Time: 2:41

Page Title: Compy 386!!

DVD:strongbad email.exe Disc Three, Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVD

Transcript

STRONG BAD: And coming in at number 91, it's: E-Maaaaaaaaaaail!

{reading}

>Dear Strong Bad,
>It must be really annoying living
>with someone as whiny as Strong Sad.
>Why don't you slip him some caffeine?
>
>Justin
>Murfreesboro, TN

{Strong Bad pronounces "TN" as "Tekken".}

STRONG BAD: Oh-ho-ho-ho! Devilish laugh. {types "Ohhhhhhh. (devilish laugh)"}

{Strong Bad clears the screen and types again.}

STRONG BAD: Dear Justin, In addition to the cut of your jib, I likes the sound of your town. Murfreesboro. But we got the All-Wide Science Fair just around the corner and I've been straining for a project. So far alls I've come up with is the effects of gasoline. {pauses a bit} On fire. {stops typing}

{Cut to a blue-print-style background, with the handwritten title "How to make science work for me".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So, I figure I just drop a couple of heaping spoonfuls—

{Said spoon and jar of coffee powder appears}

STRONG BAD: —of Sanka

{"heaping spoonful" appears with an arrow pointing at the powder}

STRONG BAD: —into Strong Sad's orange juice,

{Said juice appears.}

STRONG BAD: and collect the ensuing data.

{The spoon drops in the powder. It spoons some more powder, pauses while "yet another heaping spoonful" and another arrow appear, then stirs it in.}

STRONG BAD: I'll definitely get first place. And who knows? I might even win me a Noble Peacie Prize...

{"slight discoloration" and another arrow appears next to the juice, and "slightly disgusting" appears with yet another arrow pointing at the jar of coffee.}

{Cut to view of Strong Bad and Strong Sad in the basement. Strong Bad is holding a legal pad, in which he makes periodic notes. One of Strong Sad's eyes is open unnaturally wide, and he holds his hands high above his head. His fingers twitch frequently, and some erratic and discordant music plays in the background.}

STRONG BAD: So Strong Sad, tell me, how do you feel?

STRONG SAD: {speaking very quickly and clapping his hands together over his head} I feel great! I feel great! I feel great! {facing his head to the left} I feel bad. {facing head back right} I don't even watch football! I don't even watch football! {facing head left again} I can't remember my legs!

{Cut to Strong Sad following an annoyed The Cheat on hands and knees. Strong Bad is in the background, watching and taking notes.}

STRONG SAD: Hey The Cheat! Listen up! Widdlywiddlywill! What did I say? What did I just say? Did I say anything? What about this one: hoo hee haw whadiawah! Did that mean anything? {Strong Bad voice-over begins} Did I offend you? I hope I didn't offend you.

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} After being exposed to my control Cheat, subject started acting way creepier than normal...like, even for Strong Sad.

{Cut to Marzipan's house, where she is trying to paint with Strong Sad next to her. We see Strong Bad in the foreground making more observations and taking more notes.}

STRONG SAD: Mar-zi-pan, Mar-zi-pan! What do you wanna make? You wanna make some wood-davers with me? I got pine cones! I got peanut butter! I got everything we need! I said pine cones! Pine cones! Gonna be successful! Gonna be phenomenally successful! Sell 'em at the corner store! Sell 'em at the five and dime! Marzipan, you gotta get on the train, get on the wood-davers train! Here goes the wood-davers train! It's takin' off! It's a new century! {Marzipan walks away and Strong Bad voice-over begins} I can't remember cereal, I can't remember TV. Is it football season yet? I'll run you over in football, run you down the field like a clown!

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} The subject's condition continued to deteriorate, and he began making up arts and crafts activities. Like wood-davers.

{Cut to Strong Bad's basement. Strong Mad is sitting on the couch, and Strong Sad is hanging upside-down from the ceiling.}

STRONG MAD: GET DOWN.

STRONG SAD: No!

STRONG MAD: GET DOWN!

STRONG SAD: No, no... Parakeet.

STRONG MAD: {backing up for space in disbelief, and very clearly} Did you just say "parakeet"?

{Cut to a field with Strong Sad and Coach Z. Strong Sad alternates bouncing on his left and right legs. Strong Bad is in the background making notes and observations again.}

STRONG BAD: In the final stages, subject became: {The following words come up on the screen in Tandy text as Strong Bad says them} Erratic, violent, and Really Funny to Watch.

STRONG SAD: {slapping Coach Z in the face} Hey Coach Z! Hey Coach Z! Whaddaya got? Whaddaya got for me? How about that? Wanna play some soccer? {while Coach Z is speaking} Some hockeyjock? I got whatever it takes! Hey, ya want some salad? Pasta salad? Tuna salad? Fruit salad?

COACH Z: Woo! Woo! Cut that out! Don't hurt me! I don't wanna die! I'm just an old man— {Strong Sad steals Coach Z's hat after it falls to the ground} Ooh! Ooh!

STRONG SAD: Fruit salad! Fruit salad! Fruit salad! {Slowing down} Salad... {powering-down sound} ...Salad as a rock? Um... Coach Z, what are we doin' here?

COACH Z: You was tryin' to jank me!

STRONG SAD: Feelin' woozy...

{Strong Sad falls on his back. Coach Z's hat lands on his stomach. Cut to the All-Wide Science Fair auditorium stage, where a picture of Strong Sad on his back is shown on Strong Bad's easel under the caption "Results:".}

STRONG BAD: At this point, the test subject...was dead. {Gasp from the audience}

STRONG SAD: {Offscreen} I was not dead!

STRONG BAD: ...Shut up. And all of this data could only bring us to one conclusion: ...Strong Sad's adopted. {another gasp with quiet murmurs from the audience}

STRONG SAD: {Offscreen} That's not true either!

{The Paper comes down as a close up of Strong Bad's project is shown.}

Easter Eggs

• At the end of the email, click on the various pictures on the right side of Strong Bad's science project board to see some of his car sketches.

• Also at the end, hold down the left mouse button over the paper in the folder on the left side to see Strong Bad's original project, The Effects of Gasoline on Fire. The left side reads:

>about the
>author:
>strong bad
>has at least
>fifteen
>bucks in his
>wallet right
>now. bet
>that's more
>than you,
>poor person.

The right side, which is on fire, reads:

>somebody
>should
>probably
>be keeping
>an eye on
>this.

• Finally at the end, move your mouse to the right side of the screen to find an arrow which you can click on to see Homestar Runner's project. It is blank except for the words "AWW MAN. IT MELTED." and a puddle on the table.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: For my project, I opted to use more social studies...a-than science. CROWD: Yes, I see! Impressive! {miscellaneous chatter}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• "Cut of your jib" is an old sailors' phrase, used to describe the expression on one's face, or the appearance of a ship from afar (the shape of the foresail, or "cut of the jib", described a ship's character). [1]
• Strong Bad's "Noble Peacie Prize" refers to the Nobel Foundation's Peace Prize.
• A five and dime was a type of store popular in the mid-1900s originally selling items such as candy and small toys. Most items sold at these stores were fifteen cents each.
• Strong Bad refers to the Cheat as "my control Cheat", a reference to control groups in scientific experiments. Oddly (but unsurprisingly), the "experiment" on Strong Sad appears to lack an actual control group.

Trivia

• With the exception of the Halloween toons, this is the first time Coach Z is seen without his hat on.
• Two versions of this were put up on the site. The first, which can be viewed on a mirror here has Coach Z saying "I'm just a crazy old man!" while being slapped. However, the version currently on the site has him saying "I'm just an old man!" The reason for this change is unknown.
• This is the first instance of Hyperactive Strong Sad.
• The "All-Wide Science Fair" sign is printed on fan-fold paper, possibly from the same printer as The Paper.
• In Strong Bad's Science Project display board, the sheet of paper in the pocket under the words "What's a Wood-daver?" reads:

>Strong Bad's >Science Fair Project >(not "The Effects of >Gasoline on Fire" again)

• The summary on the Podstar Runner RSS feed for this video says "Strong Sad gets caffeinated."
• The YouTube description for this email is "See what happens when Strong Sad is given caffeine! It's the most understandable Strong Mad has ever been!"

Remarks

Is this better or worse than 3 noses?

• Strong Bad says "coming in at number 91" at the beginning of the email. In the email flashback, he says he lost count of his emails somewhere around #51.
• The sound of Strong Sad coming down from his caffeine 'high' is the same sound used in gimmicks when Strong Bad's Tandy 400 shut down and was about to explode.
• Strong Sad's bulging eye is an upside-down copy of Bubs's smaller eye.
• Strong Bad says "my control Cheat", a rare use of The Cheat's name without an integral article.
• When looking at Homestar's project, you can find an invisible "back" button by pressing Tab.
• Strong Bad pronounces the emailer's town as "mur-FREES-bro", while the Tennessee city is actually pronounced "MUR-frees-bo-ro".
• The Easter eggs at the end of the email require holding down the left mouse button and not moving the mouse.
• Strong Sad is moving so erratically, he has two mouths to add to the illusion after Marzipan walks away.
• Strong Bad says his experiment might win a "noble peacie prize" (a reference to the Nobel Peace Prize), despite the fact that the experiment's focus is in the Physiology or Medicine category.

Goofs

• When Strong Bad types 'in addition to', the D's overlap the A and each other.
• When Strong Sad passes out, Coach Z's hat is doubled for a single frame.

Inside References

• "Hockeyjock" is likely a reference to personal favorites.
• Strong Bad says his science fair project was originally going to be "the effects of gasoline on fire".
• Strong Sad tells Marzipan he's boarding the wood-daver train.
• Despite Strong Sad's protests, Strong Bad claims that Strong Sad is dead (and adopted).

Real-World References

• When reading "TN" Strong Bad says "Tekken" instead of "Tennessee". Tekken is a popular fighting game by Namco.
• The "shark-mobile" may be a reference to an old Hot Wheels car called "The Sharkruiser."
• Ironically, Sanka was the world's first brand of decaffeinated coffee. Invented in 1903, Sanka was first marketed in the United States in 1923.
• The cadence in Strong Sad's wood-davers speech ("Sell 'em at the corner stores! Sell 'em at the five-and-dime!") may have been inspired by the opening number in the musical The Music Man.

Fast Forward

• The shark-mobile would be referenced in the April 21, 2005 Weekly Fanstuff.

DVD Version

• All of the Easter eggs are intact, but have been condensed down into two Easter eggs.
  • The first DVD Easter egg (found via the hidden Strong Bad Icon to the left of the Project Title) features a peek at what Strong Bad's original project was, closeups of all three of the "cool cars," and a closeup of the paper in the folder. Plus, the fire from the original project burns a corner off The Paper and also a fire crackling sound effect is added.
  • The second DVD Easter egg (found via the hidden Strong Bad Icon to the right of the Project Title) combines Homestar's Project and his comments on it.
• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching. This commentary is only available on the Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVD.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Strong Sad, Mike's Strong Sad, Mike Chapman)

STRONG SAD: I'm going to attempt to help you out on this one, Mike.

MIKE'S STRONG SAD: Ohh, thank you, Strong Sad.

STRONG SAD: Oh, I don't like it when you do that, Mike.

MIKE'S STRONG SAD: I can do you pretty good, though.

STRONG SAD: No, you can't, —

MIKE'S STRONG SAD: It's—

STRONG SAD: —you don't sound a thing like—

MIKE'S STRONG SAD: I dooo!

STRONG SAD: You do not!

MIKE'S STRONG SAD: I do tooo!

MIKE: {laughs} Ohhh...sorry, Strong Sad.

STRONG SAD: {overlapping} I'm not—I'm not Canadian!

MIKE'S STRONG SAD: {sounding mock-Canadian} Ohh, boot a booot!

STRONG SAD: {quietly} What?

MIKE'S STRONG SAD: I'm gonna tell you a story aboot a boooot!

STRONG SAD: That is...not very a—accurate.

MIKE: Um...so, Strong Sad.

STRONG SAD: {in response to Strong Bad} Tom Waits is always singin' about Murfreesboro.

MIKE: Yeah? That's in...Tennessee, right?

STRONG SAD: Yeah. He's like, {somewhat nonsense, in a very gravelly voice} I said on grine goal, and so me saaay.

MIKE: Well you didn't—

STRONG SAD: {underneath} That's my—

MIKE: —say anything about Murfreesboro!

STRONG SAD: That's my Tom Waits impression.

MIKE: But you said he was all the time singin' about Murfreesboro.

STRONG SAD: Mike, the thing that I don't understand {Mike laughs, likely at Strong Sad's attempt to change the subject} is that Sanka...is... {he laughs the tiniest bit at Mike} a non-caffeinated, non-coffee pro-duct.

MIKE: I don't think we knew that. I sin—certainly didn't know that.

STRONG SAD: {the email Strong Sad is talking to The Cheat} Well, I—look, it seems to have had quite an effect on me!

MIKE: {laughing} Yeah, it does!

STRONG SAD: I lost four...days!

MIKE: {laughs} You just don't remember?

STRONG SAD: No! I...sat down...

MIKE: Uh-huh.

STRONG SAD: —...to sit in silence...for four days...

MIKE: {laughing} Uh-huh?

STRONG SAD: ...as I usually do every four days...and the next thing I know, I—the silence was over! I had missed the four days!

MIKE: What do you usually remember when you sit there for four days? Do you remember the whole thing?

STRONG SAD: {overlapping} Ohh, sometimes there's quiet...

MIKE: {laughing} Uh-huh?

STRONG SAD: Periods of...uh...sebaceousness.

MIKE: {laughs} Uh, I'm not familiar with that word.

STRONG SAD: Other peri—periods of lethargy...apathy...{email Strong Sad hangs from the ceiling} You think I used those boots? Moon Boots?

MIKE: Yeah, the kind— er, the, uh, Hang-'Em-Up—Hang-'Em-Upside-Downs?

STRONG SAD: Yeah!

MIKE: That, uh...

STRONG SAD: Are those Moon Boots?

MIKE: {laughing} I dunno!

STRONG SAD: {chuckling slightly} Or are Moon Boots, like, breakdancing boots?

MIKE: {Strong Sad has began smacking Coach Z in the field} Look at that! We got two layers of bushes back there, Strong Sad.

STRONG SAD: Things had really overgrown!

MIKE: {laughing} Yeah! Strong Mad forgot to mow that week.

STRONG SAD: Or Marzipan with her new hedge shears.

MIKE: I don't remember Coach Z without his hat on there.

STRONG SAD: He looks...I don't like the way he looks. He looks like a mannequin. {Mike snickers, pause} {in response to Coach Z} I was not trying to jank him!

MIKE: What were you trying to do?

STRONG SAD: I was w—trying to beat the crap out of him! {Mike laughs, Matt tries to hold back laughter} Look at those...the silhouettes of those people.

MIKE: {laughing} Yeah, who is that?

STRONG SAD: {overlapping} Those are some...shapely folks.

MIKE: The guy on the left, is he wearin' a hat?

STRONG SAD: I don't know! {the Paper comes down} Ooh! I said science again!

This DVD commentary transcript needs to be checked for transcription errors. You can help the Homestar Runner Wiki by proofreading it.

Fun Facts

• Tom Waits is an American singer-songwriter well-known for his incredibly gravelly voice, as Strong Sad demonstrates. Waits' voice has been described by one critic as sounding "like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months, and then taken outside and run over with a car." His 1999 song "Pony" mentions Murfreesboro.
• Sebaceousness is the noun form of an adjective referring to sebum, an oily secretion which lubricates the skin and hair of mammals such as humans and, presumably, Homestar Runner characters. What it has to do with four days of silence is unclear, though it's possible that Matt, as Strong Sad, simply wanted to use a long and funny-sounding word.
• Moon Boots are a brand of Italian ski boots. It seems more likely that Strong Sad was referring to Gravity boots, a type of leg shackles on a frame that allow a person to hang upside-down for extended periods.
• Strong Sad's mention of Marzipan's hedge shears seems to be referring to an item in Homestar Ruiner.
• Strong Sad quotes a Homestar line from stupid stuff ("I said science again!").

External Links

• watch "caffeine"
• watch "caffeine" on YouTube
• watch "caffeine" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "caffeine"