Subtitles sbemail130/en
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<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail130.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="15" end="83" speaker="strongbad">Strong Bad Email! Makes money! Strong Bad Email! Gets paid!</line>
<line start="88" end="140" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strongbad, What would you do different, if you could do it all over again?"</line>
<line start="146" end="208" speaker="strongbad">"Totally not gettin' old, Richie Z Can-A-Duh"</line>
<line start="212" end="273" speaker="strongbad">Wait, you're not related to Coach Z, are you, Richie? Or Coach Zed as you Ca-nooks call him.</line>
<line start="279" end="320" speaker="strongbad">Whoa. Coach Zed. That's way cooler.</line>
<line start="324" end="360" speaker="strongbad">I'm gonna start calling him that too and maybe he won't suck so bad!</line>
<line start="366" end="402" speaker="strongbad">Thanks, Richie! Your pal, Sed Bed</line>
<line start="408" end="440" speaker="strongbad">Alright, what would I do different?</line>
<line start="444" end="503" speaker="strongbad">Well, while I've never actually made a mistake, there have been a few,</line>
<line start="506" end="560" speaker="strongbad">let's call 'em "stnanks," that could be worthy of a do-over.</line>
<line start="565" end="619" speaker="strongbad">It's no secret that one of my biggest stnanks was involving Ali and Ali's sister.</line>
<line start="624" end="683" speaker="strongbad">If I had to do that over again, there's no way I'd mess it up. Here's just what I'd do:</line>
<line start="689" end="721" speaker="strongbad">Oh! There's two of them!</line>
<line start="729" end="767" speaker="strongbad">Well, Ali. There's ONE of me,</line>
<line start="773" end="850" speaker="strongbad">and I'd like to cordially invite myself over to your place tonight for dinner and afterdinner mints.</line>
<line start="854" end="949" speaker="strongbad">After afterdinner mints, you and your sister, Ali Jr, I'll call her, can fight to the death over me.</line>
<line start="956" end="992" speaker="strongbad">Wait. No. Hold on. No, no dying.</line>
<line start="998" end="1052" speaker="strongbad">Um, we should have an egg drop soup eating contest.</line>
<line start="1056" end="1107" speaker="strongbad">Hang on. I can't remember what happens next. The Cheat!</line>
<line start="1116" end="1129" speaker="homestar">Wibble wee woo woo!</line>
<line start="1131" end="1170" speaker="strongbad">Oh, this is hilarious. Homestar, where's The Cheat?</line>
<line start="1175" end="1197" speaker="homestar">Squeakicoo! I'm The Cheat!</line>
<line start="1199" end="1210" speaker="strongbad">Oh, really. Then what—</line>
<line start="1212" end="1280" speaker="homestar">Surprise! Strong Bad, it's me! Homestar Runner! From school!</line>
<line start="1284" end="1306" speaker="strongbad">Ugh! I need The Cheat!</line>
<line start="1307" end="1325" speaker="homestar">Oh, okay. Meh.</line>
<line start="1327" end="1365" speaker="strongbad">That's not what I meant. Uh, I guess it'll have to do.</line>
<line start="1373" end="1395" speaker="strongbad">Ahem. All right, The Cheat.</line>
<line start="1399" end="1450" speaker="strongbad">I need you to help me with my award-winning rewrite of the Ali and Ali's sister email.</line>
<line start="1457" end="1475" speaker="strongbad">There is two of them!</line>
<line start="1477" end="1523" speaker="homestar">Skooko wibbo wee! You should serenade them! I can play the drum!</line>
<line start="1527" end="1557" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, that sounds about right. Let's go practice!</line>
<line start="1558" end="1570" speaker="homestar">I can play the drum!</line>
<line start="1580" end="1631" speaker="strongbad">Don't you know I have a BIG OL' RED HEAD!</line>
<line start="1632" end="1671" speaker="strongbad">And a fat little body!</line>
<line start="1675" end="1708" speaker="strongbad">And I never change my cloooothes!</line>
<line start="1710" end="1745" speaker="strongbad">No, I never change my cloooothes!</line>
<line start="1754" end="1797" speaker="homestar">Uh, Strong Bad? I think I'm falling for you.</line>
<line start="1811" end="1849" speaker="strongbad">No, no, no, no, no. That is not right at all.</line>
<line start="1850" end="1904" speaker="strongbad">Making Homestar dressed as The Cheat fall in love with me is <em>not</em> what I had in mind!</line>
<line start="1908" end="1957" speaker="strongbad">Whatever. Who cares? I didn't want to go to Sally's house anydangway!</line>
<line start="1965" end="2024" speaker="strongbad">Anyways, what else? I always felt a little bad about kicking The Cheat in email 23.</line>
<line start="2028" end="2043" speaker="strongbad">Let's try that one again!</line>
<line start="2048" end="2073" speaker="strongbad">"...crapfully yours, Ashley and Anthony."</line>
<line start="2079" end="2164" speaker="strongbad">Well, Ash and Ant, or Ley and Thony, or Shle and Ntho, or whatever you like to be called,</line>
<line start="2169" end="2210" speaker="strongbad">if a little animal came up to me, I'd give him a pat on the head,</line>
<line start="2213" end="2252" speaker="strongbad">a tuna-flavored treat, and some sage advice.</line>
<line start="2260" end="2281" speaker="homestar">Meh, Strong Bad. Meh.</line>
<line start="2284" end="2348" speaker="strongbad">Oh, no way! This does not count! You are not gettin' any fish cookies outta me!</line>
<line start="2354" end="2405" speaker="strongbad">But I will give you that sage advice and a "pat" on the head.</line>
<line start="2413" end="2441" speaker="strongbad">DON'T! EVER! DRESS! UP! As The CHEAT! AGAIN!</line>
<line start="2444" end="2467" speaker="strongbad">PARSLEY! SAGE! RoseMARY! And THYME!</line>
<line start="2470" end="2495" speaker="strongmad">DON'T HURT THE CHEAT!</line>
<line start="2496" end="2542" speaker="strongbad">No, big guy, that's not The Cheat. That's Homestar! From school!</line>
<line start="2544" end="2597" speaker="homestar">Meedley mee! I'm The Cheat! I'm not from school! Moooooo!</line>
<line start="2598" end="2621" speaker="strongbad">Uh, The Cheat's not a cow, you know...</line>
<line start="2624" end="2629" speaker="strongbad">Whoa!</line>
<line start="2632" end="2665" speaker="strongmad">THE CHEAT IS SO A COW!</line>
<line start="2666" end="2705" speaker="strongbad">Strong Mad! Put me down! You're making a terrible stnank!</line>
<line start="2714" end="2739" speaker="homestar">It makes me all jangly inside!</line>
<line start="2741" end="2762" speaker="sfx">coins rattle</line>
<line start="2768" end="2829" speaker="strongbad">Alright, it's become abundantly clear that THIS is the email I should be redoing.</line>
<line start="2835" end="2858" speaker="strongbad">Lappy, if you please.</line>
<line start="2862" end="2881" speaker="strongbad">DO OVER!</line>
<line start="2889" end="2961" speaker="strongbad">What would I do differently Richie? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.</line>
<line start="2970" end="3022" speaker="strongbad">Well, except I might go back and taste out one of them Cheatcakes.</line>
<line start="3024" end="3042" speaker="strongbad">Those things looked a-pretty good!</line>
<line start="3045" end="3059" speaker="homestar">Meeeeeeh?</line>
<line start="3060" end="3088" speaker="strongbad">No! Wait! Nothing! Never! I regret nothing!</line>
<line start="3093" end="3106" speaker="homestar">Meeeeeeh...</line>
<line start="3109" end="3117" speaker="strongbad">Phew!</line>
<line start="3159" end="3183" speaker="sfx">coins rattle</line>
<line start="3197" end="3220" speaker="marzipan">Homestar, can you pass the soy crisps?</line>
<line start="3221" end="3233" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
</transcript>