Polymascotfoamalate

"Helping America Ingenuitize the Future across the globe!"

Polymascotfoamalate (spelled polymascot foamalate in the 22 May 2008 Quote of the Week) is a multipurpose, foam-like material in the Homestar Runner universe. It is used as the material for mascot uniforms (such as The Jolly Dumple), as baby food, as a topping for Soured Cream, and for "helping America ingenuitize the future across the globe." It is highly flammable, being described by Coach Z as "flame pro-tardant".

In the Strong Bad Email 4 branches, Rumble Red reveals that Polymascotfoamalate does not exist on his planet. The Homestar Runner declares that this is because the alien is a Communist fool.

The word Polymascotfoamalate is a Portmanteau of "poly-", "mascot", "foam", and "-ate".

It may be a parody of asbestos, a substance used in building construction for decades due to its being fireproof until it was discovered to be a carcinogen.

Chemistry

The chemical notation of the material is (Msct − ) + (Fm8 + ), a manipulation of chemical symbols to resemble the words "Mascot Foamalate."

The formula (Msct − ) + (Fm8 + ) indicates an ionic bond between two compounds which makes a formula unit. The parentheses around the elements make them polyatomic ions (a possible reference to the name). For many reasons, this formula does not define a compound that could possibly exist in the physical universe:

• Ionic bonding only occurs when an element with a positive valence electron and an element with a negative valence electron are combined. The only polyatomic cations are ammonium, mercury(I), pyridnium, pyrylium, sulfonium, uranyl, vanadyl, pervanadyl, dioxygenyl, chromyl, and hydronium.
• The formula also shows that the chemical Ms has a valence electron number of ct, which can't be true because ct isn't a number.
• When denoting valence electrons, the positive or negative sign goes before the number.
• Finally, if this ionic bond was "real", the chemical compound formed would be (Ms)8(Fm)ct, although the suffix -ate in the name suggests that the molecule has three or four oxygen atoms.

The element Fm appears to be a noble gas, as it has a valence electron of eight. If this chemical bond is correct, Ms would have to be a metal because it is positive, and Fm would have to be a non metal because it is negative.

"Fm" is the chemical symbol for fermium, a radioactive element with a very high atomic weight.

Appearances

• Debut: Email 4 branches