Mock Disclaimers

"* please do not bring your grandmother"

When the characters of the Homestar Runner universe make bold claims or suggestions, these will frequently be followed by a silly disclaimer, either denying the preceding statement or adding a word of caution. These disclaimers are often written out, preceded by an asterisk, and spoken by a generic voice in a hushed tone.

Appearances

• Email CGNU — "Actual applicants not accepted. Art test is only so we can make fun of you."
• Meet Marshie — "Fluffy Puff Marshmallows and Marshmallow Mayonnaise. Each sold separately. Comes with everything you see here. Batteries not included. Kids, don't eat nails."
• Email the bet — "BUTTER-DA IS NOH HUSH A BUSH PUSH LEOPOLD"
• Email theme park — "please do not bring your grandmother"
• Email secret recipes —
  • "Strong Bad may or may not have an actual Great Uncle Pawdabber."
  • "Homestar Runner definitely does not have a Stupid Uncle Egg."
  • "I, uh, I don't even know what a poopaw is."
• Email long pants — "Rodeo and Tragic Clown Hot Dogs NOT ACCEPTED"
• Email narrator — "This Strong Bad Email has been rated P for The Poopsmith and a graphic scene of The Paper."
• Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2 — "Discount will not be honored."
• SBCG4AP Advertisement — "Game will not literally leave your Wii console a smoldering crater." Written in Powered by The Cheat style as "GAMe WiLL NOT LiTeRALLY LeAVe YOUR Wii {unreadable} ter."
• Dangeresque 3 Mini-Site — "Caution: Contents under pressure. Void where prohibited. Probably not recyclable in CA, WA, ME, NY or FL. This gum is delicious. For external use only. If accidental contact with eyes occurs, flush with water and contact poison control. Looks like you're going to have to jump."
• Costume Commercial — "Side effects may include getting intentionally run down by Mancuso's older brother."
• Donut Unto Others — "The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statements."
• 2011 Calendar — "prolly doesn't feature ANY of your favorite sbemails"
• Email too cool — "Rated F for Folds. May contain graphic images of vague skin folds, references to Family Might/Could's, and scenes of strong foldulence."
• Later That Night... — "Preceding statement has not been approved by DOW Chemical."
• Trogdor!! The Board Game (video) — "Actual tiles do not Billie Jean"
• Halloween Hijinks — "Side effects may include: zig-zaggèd pants, large bean, clichéd parodies, and playing in a band."
• Talkin' Strong Bad Plush Doll Commercial —
  • "cool, cool glasses not included"
  • "Talking Strong Bad Plush Doll mumble mumble fine print legal disclaimer."
• Strong Bad Talking Plush — "Talkin' Strong Bad plush doll will not actually give you a rash."
• @StrongBadActual tweet (25 Oct 2022) — "Scarf commentary not included."

Real Disclaimers

• Marshmallow's Last Stand — The "FBI Warning" at the beginning states that the cartoon is "pretty old" and that the characters aren't very funny.
• Everything Else, Volume 1 — During the FBI warning, Strong Bad gives a "Strong Bad-BI warning" that the DVD does not contain any Strong Bad Emails.