Dangeresque Roomisode X Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office Responses
These are all of the responses in Dangeresque Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office.
Intro
{Dangeresque Too is standing on top of a building. The camera zooms in, swiveling around him in 3D.} NARRATOR: High above Brainblow City, Dangeresque Too finishes his nightly vigil...ance. {2D close-up} Vigil-vigilance. DANGERESQUE TOO: Looks like crime's gone to bed for the night. {his sunglasses sparkle with a "ding!"} {Dangeresque Too walks into an elevator, again in 3D.} DANGERESQUE TOO: I'll go in the elevator. {Cut to gameplay. Dangeresque Too is standing in the elevator. A monitor buzzes with static, and a silhouette appears on it.} BAD GUY: {with a low, distorted voice} Going down, Dangeresque Too? DANGERESQUE TOO: I'd recognize that bad guy voice anywhere! It's a bad guy! BAD GUY: Allow me to put you on the EXPRESS lift! HaHaHaHaHa!! {The elevator plummets. Cut back to the inside.} DANGERESQUE TOO: {rhythmically} I better find a way, to stop this runaway, eleva- {brief pause} tor.
Elevator
Dangeresque Too
{Dangeresque Too spins his propeller cap and makes a whirring sound.}
Brolly → Dangeresque Too
{In the elevator, while it's still falling} {Dangeresque Too opens the brolly and holds it up, then closes it.} DANGERESQUE TOO: Huh. I guess that won't slow me down inside the elevator. Always worked when I was a kid jumpin off the shed.
{In the hatch, while the elevator is falling} DANGERESQUE TOO: Yeah! I'll open this thing up and it'll slow us right down! {He opens the brolly and flies upward as the elevator falls and explodes. Cut back to Dangeresque Too as he floats down.} DANGERESQUE TOO: It totally worked! {The brolly stops moving.} DANGERESQUE TOO: Right? {The brolly collapses, sending Dangeresque Too plummeting down the elevator shaft. He explodes at the bottom. Game over.}
{After the elevator has stopped} {Dangeresque Too opens the brolly, then closes it.}
Washer → Dangeresque Too
DANGERESQUE TOO: I guess this could make an okay monocle, but I don't think it'll help disguise my identity enough.
Cuppa Ice → Dangeresque Too
DANGERESQUE TOO: I daren't go a chomping. This ice looks hard as diamonds.
Keycard → Dangeresque Too
DANGERESQUE TOO: There's no room number on it. Guess I'll just have to try it out somewheres.
Bib → Dangeresque Too
{If the bib does not have coffee on it} DANGERESQUE TOO: Maybe this'll help me NOT match those guards' description. {puts it on} Aw man! Whoever ate this was messy in exactly the shape of a star! It still looks like I'm wearing a dang ol' star shirt! {puts it away}
{If the bib has coffee on it} DANGERESQUE TOO: There we go! This messy bib may look and smell like coffee barf, but at least it hides my star shirt!
Kid Meal → Dangeresque Too
DANGERESQUE TOO: {puts on bag} Aw man! My propeller poked through! But it still horrifyingly covers up my cool shades. I'll wait to wear until I have all the pieces of my threesguise. {puts it away}
Hat → Dangeresque Too
DANGERESQUE TOO: This covers up my propeller cap real nice. Grammaw nice. I'll wait until I have my full threesguise to put it on. {puts it away}
Any disguise piece → Dangeresque Too
{When all three items are acquired} {Not in the lobby} DANGERESQUE TOO: I think I have all that I need to conceal my identity! I should prolly head to the lobby. Prolly lobby.
{In the lobby, the [#Ending ending] plays}
Any other item → Dangeresque Too
DANGERESQUE TOO: That's not gonna help me threesguise my appearance from those guys. Threesguise guys.
Brolly
DANGERESQUE TOO: Prolly somebody left their brolly. Prolly brolly. {takes it}
Ceiling Tile
DANGERESQUE TOO: Looks like an access panel. I could prolly jump up there, but I need to get it open first.
Brolly → Ceiling Tile
{Dangersesque Too pokes the ceiling tile, exposing a hole in the ceiling.}
Open Tile
DANGERESQUE TOO: {unsubtitled} Doing! {Dangeresque Too leaps up into the elevator shaft.}
Brolly → Open Tile
DANGERESQUE TOO: I already got it open. I can just doing-jump up there.
Any other item → Open Tile
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to chuck nothin up there.
Buttons
{First time only, when the elevator is falling} {Cut to the button panel.} DANGERESQUE TOO: These buddins have been tampered with! I'm pretty sure I'm headed for the ground floor no matter what I press at this point. {Cut away from the panel.} DANGERESQUE TOO: I shouldn't mess with these until I've stopped the elevator!
DANGERESQUE TOO: I shouldn't mess with these until I've stopped the elevator!
{First time only, after the elevator has been stopped} DANGERESQUE TOO: Only some of the buddins still work. And who knows what floor they'll take me to. {Cut to the button panel. There are eight buttons, but only four are functional.}
Any item → Buttons
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't think anything I use is gonna fix these buddins.
Current floor
DANGERESQUE TOO: That's the floor I'm already on.
Poster
{First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: It's the menu for room service.
{Cut to the poster.}
Menu Item
{First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: "The Romantic Dinner for Teux. Steak with green shreds. Bubbly Champlain and a rose for rose-mance."
DANGERESQUE TOO: I was really hopin that was egg nog in those glasses.
More on Back
{When the glass is not cut} DANGERESQUE TOO: It says there's more on the back but that innocent menu is trapped inside this infernal glass frame!
{When the glass is cut, first time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: You're free now, Room Service Menu! Free to be flipped over! {The menu flips to reveal the backside.}
Kid Meal
DANGERESQUE TOO: The Upside-Down Clown Kid Meal. *Limit one per kidstomer. No sharing fries. Or ketchup. Or joy.
DANGERESQUE TOO: That clown face is Marshie levels of disturbing. CLOWN FACE: {Marshie's voice} You ain't kiddin, Hardcastle!
Messy Ol' Ribs
DANGERESQUE TOO: "Messy ol' ribs. Half rack. Full problems. Bib included."
DANGERESQUE TOO: Kinda looks like a pan flute. {singing} Poooot-poot-poot-poooooot. Pan flute.
Brolly → Poster
DANGERESQUE TOO: That poster's behind impact-proof glass and the tip o' this brolly isn't sharp enough to cut through it, laddie.
Washer → Poster
DANGERESQUE TOO: That will just make an ear-crawling, skin-curdling screech. So let's hear it! {scratches the washer on the glass, making a high-pitched noise}
Diamond → Poster
DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's see if this diamond will cut through that glass frame. {Dangeresque Too uses the diamond to cut the glass. The glass cracks and shatters.} DANGERESQUE TOO: Bowlegged!
Flower → Poster
DANGERESQUE TOO: GET FLORAL! Nope. Nothin.
Any other item → Poster
{If the poster is behind glass} DANGERESQUE TOO: That won't help me free this innocent advertisement from its glass prison!
{If the glass is broken} DANGERESQUE TOO: I already gave this valiant young menu its freedoms.
Screen
{The screen displays a cup of coffee.} DANGERESQUE TOO: It's one o' those little infotainment screens. That bad guy musta hijacked it somehow.
DANGERESQUE TOO: It says "Scaldo's Coffee now available on Vending Floor". "Thermal Lava Mitts available in lobby." {The screen displays a person walking on a treadmill near a TV.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: It says their "gym" is more than just a TV and a treadmill. But it doesn't specify how. {The screen displays a glass of beer.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Nodor's Pub! A place for fine ales and tasty meals. If you can find the entrance. {The screen displays a silhouetted person holding a blue rectangle.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh, I think that bad guy musta left his camera on. Looks like he's playing a handheld game. BAD GUY: IT KEEPS MAKING ME JUMP WHEN I'M NOT PRESSING JUMP!! {The screen displays a glistening diamond.}
DANGERESQUE TOO: The world famous Bowlegged Diamond is going to be on display this week. {The screen displays a fax machine, and the words "FAX IT".}
DANGERESQUE TOO: There's a brand new fax machine in the business center. FREE police sketch with every sent page! {The screen displays a cup of coffee again, and the dialogue loops.}
Any item → Screen
DANGERESQUE TOO: I should just enjoy its informative advertisements and hastily assembled clip art stylings.
Shaft
Emergency Brake
{If the brolly is not hooked onto the hatch} {Dangeresque Too pulls the lever. Sparks fly out of it.} DANGERESQUE TOO: That slowed it down a little, but didn't stop it! I gotta find a way to slow us down even more!
{If the brake is activated} {Dangeresque Too pulls the lever back.}
{If the brolly is hooked onto the hatch} {Dangeresque Too pulls the lever, slowing the elevator to a stop. There is a toolbox in a cubby in the back wall.} DANGERESQUE TOO: {taking brolly} Phew! That was close. Now I can get back down to the lobby and scramconnoiter out of here.
Any item → Emergency Brake
DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm not doin it.
Hatch
{Dangeresque Too closes the hatch. It is now labeled "Handle".}
Brolly → Hatch
DANGERESQUE TOO: There's nothing to hook the brolly onto.
Handle
Dangeresque Too opens the hatch. It is now labeled "Hatch".}
Brolly → Handle
{If the emergency brake isn't pulled} DANGERESQUE TOO: That slowed things down a little. But there's still a good deal of "plummet to my death" happening.
{If the emergency brake is pulled} {The umbrella opens, slowing the elevator to a stop. There is a toolbox in a cubby in the back wall.} DANGERESQUE TOO: {taking brolly} Phew! That was close. Now I can get back down to the lobby and scramconnoiter out of here.
Back Inside
{Dangeresque jumps back down into the elevator.}
Any item → Back Inside
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to drop it down, drop it down.
Lobby
{First time only, after stopping the elevator} {The elevator door opens to the lobby. Two silhouettes stand in front of the door.} LEFT BAD GUY: Is that him? RIGHT BAD GUY: He matches the description. Propeller cap, cool shades, star shirt. LEFT BAD GUY: Do we shoot him? RIGHT BAD GUY: I think so? DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh oh! {Dangeresque Too quickly ducks to close the elevator as bullets dent the door.} {Title card appears.} NARRATOR: Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate On File In Building Office! {Cut back to gameplay.} DANGERESQUE TOO: Guess I'm not gettin out of here til I DON'T match their description. Star shirt, cool shades, propeller cap. I need a threesguise!
Elevator Doors
DANGERESQUE TOO: I can't go out there yet! Those guards will shoot me on sight! I still match their description too much!
DANGERESQUE TOO: I really shouldn't go out there yet.
DANGERESQUE TOO: Yeah, maybe the guards have left by now. {He opens the door. They have not.} DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh, hi guys. {The screen is covered in shooting effects, and Dangeresque Too's cool shades and cap tumble to the floor. Game over.}
{After Kid Meal and Hat have been used on Dangeresque Too} DANGERESQUE TOO: I still match the guards' description too much! I've got my cool shades and my propeller cap covered up but I still gotta do something about my star shirt!
Any item → Elevator Doors
DANGERESQUE TOO: T'willn't help me, that.
Shaft (Lobby)
Toolbox
DANGERESQUE TOO: Some ol' toolbox. Or maybe a lunchbox? {opens it} Definitely toolbox. There was just this metal washer inside. {takes the washer} Which I guess could be somebody's lunch... {dramatic close-up} IF YOU'RE A ROBOT!!
Any item → Toolbox
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to use nothin' with this ol' toolbox.
Keycard
DANGERESQUE TOO: That's where that thing that Dagger Skew dropped landed! That great orange thing!
Brolly → Keycard
{Dangeresque Too knocks down the keycard.} DANGERESQUE TOO: It's a room keycard!
Any other item → Keycard
DANGERESQUE TOO: That's not gonna help me get that thin line of orange and black pixels down there.
Floor 7 1/2?
{First time only} WOMAN: Ugh! The elevator's stuck in between floors again. MAN: How are we supposed to murder Dangeresque Too if the stupid elevators won't work? DANGERESQUE TOO: More guards! Good thing they can't see me down here!
Certain Death
DANGERESQUE TOO: {crouches down for a moment} I don't think I wanna climb in there.
DANGERESQUE TOO: On second thought, it's always wise to keep clickin on somethin labeled Certain Death! Here I go! {crouches down} {Dangeresque Too falls down the elevator shaft and explodes. Game over.}
Any item → Certain Death
DANGERESQUE TOO: When I was a kid I lost a rubber walrus eraser down an elevator shaft. I can't risk losin' nothin else!
Loafers
{If the quarter has not been taken} {Close up on the woman's shoes. There is a quarter in one of them.} DANGERESQUE TOO: This lady's wearing a sweet pair of quarterloafers! She must be rich! {Cut to elevator.} DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm a snitch one of the quarters! WOMAN: Oh! Something touched my foot! DANGERESQUE TOO: Or maybe not.
DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm a snitch one of the quarters! WOMAN: Something keeps brushing against my foot! DANGERESQUE TOO: Or maybe not.
{If the quarter has been taken} DANGERESQUE TOO: Boop! {wiggles the shoe}
Washer → Loafers
{Before taking the quarter} DANGERESQUE TOO: Lessee if I can swap out this washer for that quarter without her noticing. {Close-up. The swap is made. Cut to elevator.} DANGERESQUE TOO: I did it! WOMAN: Did you just touch my feet? MAN: Um. Gross, no.
{After taking the quarter} DANGERESQUE TOO: Naw, I don't need another quarter.
Quarter → Loafers
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't want to put it back. I might could get me a gumball later!
Flower → Loafers
{First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: Maybe I can aroma up these stinky feets. WOMAN: ACHOO! MAN: What was that?! I almost shot you! WOMAN: Something activated my allergies.
WOMAN: ACHOO!
Any other item → Loafers
DANGERESQUE TOO: This plus feet is NOT an equation I need to solve for.
Sneakers
{Dangeresque Too unties the man's sneakers.} WOMAN: Oh, your shoes have come untied. {If coffee is not dripping on his head} MAN: Huh. That weird. {If coffee is dripping on his head} MAN: Prolly didn't notice because of this coffee drippin on my head. {He bends down to retie his shoes. If wearing a hat, he drops it.}
WOMAN: Oh, your shoes are untied again. {If coffee is not dripping on his head} MAN: Huh. That's still weird. {If coffee is dripping on his head} MAN: Gimme a break! I got a bad case of coffee drippins! {He bends down to retie his shoes. If wearing a hat, he drops it.}
Any item → Sneakers
DANGERESQUE TOO: This plus feet is NOT an equation I need to solve for.
Hat
{Dangeresque Too takes the hat.} MAN: Hey! Where'd my hat go? WOMAN: You already lost the hat I just gave you?! How gratingly ungrateful! MAN: Shut up lady!
Shaft (Floor 7 1/2)
{First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh good. They can't see me up here either.
Guy's Head
MAN: Elevator's stuck again. Y'ever wonder if there's like a tiny floor between the floors? WOMAN: No. I have a medical condition where I'm physically unable to wonder. MAN: Can you at least ponder? WOMAN: Ponder? What've I got to ponder?
MAN: So how long you been working for our mysterious bad guy employer? WOMAN: Not long. I got the job through MoidaPro Henchman Placement Services. I just love a good hench! MAN: MoidaPro, eh? I use Staffin' 'n' Stabbin'.
{Following the man's first line, first time after putting the flower on the lady's hat} WOMAN: I'm currently wondering what is going on with my hat! It's itchy and making my forehead break out! MAN: It's too bad I don't want or need a hat. I guess you'll just have to stand there and turn all red and puffy. WOMAN: Yes, I suppose it's the only way.
{Following the man's first line, if the flower is on the lady's hat} WOMAN: No time for idle chit-chat! I need to get rid of this hat! MAN: Wish I could help.
{If the coffee is dripping from the floor above, and the flower isn't on the lady's hat} MAN: Ugh! This coffee drippin on my head sucks! Wish I had a hat. WOMAN: If my hat weren't so comfortable I'd let you borrow it. These hypoallergenic plastic flowers are just lovely. MAN: I understand. Too bad I can't be bothered to move a few inches left or right.
{If the coffee is dripping from the floor above, and the flower is on the lady's hat} MAN: Ugh! This coffee drippin on my head sucks! Wish I had a hat. WOMAN: Well, you can have my hat. It's giving me an allergic reaction all of a sudden. MAN: Oh wow! Thanks lady!
{After he puts on the hat} MAN: Aah. That's so much better. Now the coffee's just watering the flowers! Everybody wins!
{If Dangeresque Too has taken the hat} MAN: I guess I'll just let this coffee drip slowly bore a hole through my skull. WOMAN: That sounds like a good plan, dear.
Any item → Guy's Head
DANGERESQUE TOO: Naw, I don't wanna risk alerting him to my presence.
Lady with Hat
DANGERESQUE TOO: Ooh, that hat would make a perfect threesguise component! {Dangeresque Too tries to take it} WOMAN: Ahh! Salmon and aspic! I think my hat just self-fidgeted! MAN: Uh, I'm gonna leave that one alone. DANGERESQUE TOO: Gotta find another way to get it.
WOMAN: How long are we going to have to wait here? I wanna murder that nice young private eye. {First time only, if coffee is not dripping from the floor above} MAN: I dunno. But I heard the stairs were burned down by termites. So it looks like we're gonna have to WAIT. {If the coffee is dripping from the floor above} MAN: I hope it's soon! This coffee drippin on my head sucks! Wish I had a hat. WOMAN: If my hat weren't so comfortable I'd let you borrow it. MAN: Yeah, I get it. Too bad I can't be bothered to move a few inches to the left or right.
{If the flower is on the hat} WOMAN: Augh! My hat's gotten itchy all of the sudden! Like I'm having an allergic reaction!
{If the lady has removed her hat} WOMAN: Well, everything is now so great. The end.
{If Dangeresque Too has taken the hat} WOMAN: I hope the elevator starts working again soon. I'd like to murder Dangeresque Too before my Garden Club meeting. The ladies will be all agog! Agog at the murder!
WOMAN: Let's not talk for a while.
WOMAN: Tri-fold board. There, I finally said it!
Flower → Lady with Hat
DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's add some real flora to this plastic mastery. {places the rose} WOMAN: Augh! My hat's gotten itchy all of the sudden! Like I'm having an allergic reaction! {If coffee is not dripping on the man's head} MAN: It's too bad I don't want or need a hat. I guess you'll just have to stand there and turn all red and puffy. WOMAN: Yes, I suppose it's the only way. {If coffee is dripping on the man's head} MAN: I'll take that hat off your hands. I could use it to block this coffee drip! WOMAN: Oh, you're a life saver. Thank you dear! {She takes off the hat and puts it on the man's head.} MAN: Aah. That's so much better. Now the coffee's just watering the flowers! Everybody wins!
Any other item → Lady with Hat
{If she's wearing a hat} DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't wanna put that on her hat!
{If she's not wearing a hat} DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't want her to notice me!
Vending
Coffee Machine
{First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: It's an old coffee vending machine. Still only costs a quarter!
DANGERESQUE TOO: Lessee, Light Roast, Mild Roast, Hardly Roast, and See-Thru Roast. Aw man, this thing don't got no Hot Jones?
Washer → Coffee Machine
DANGERESQUE TOO: Aw man. It doesn't work. Guess I need an actual quarter.
Quarter → Coffee Machine
{Dangeresque Too puts the quarter inside. A cup is dispensed. Coffee pours into the cup, melting it.} {First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: That scalding coffee straight up vaporized that styrofoam cup! At least it gave me my quarter back.
DANGERESQUE TOO: It just sits there for a sec and then VOIP!! No more coffee. At least it gave me my quarter back.
Any other item → Coffee Machine
DANGERESQUE TOO: Um, I think it only takes quarters.
Cup
DANGERESQUE TOO: I got the styro before that coffee went pyro. {The coffee pours out from the machine and leaks out onto the floor} DANGERESQUE TOO: Ooh, Puddleman's Coffee.
Puddle
DANGERESQUE TOO: Looks like it might be seepin through the floor tiles.
Cup → Puddle
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't wanna risk melting my great new cup! What a cup that is!
Cuppa Ice → Puddle
DANGERESQUE TOO: That'll prolly just melt the cup and the ice.
Any other item → Puddle
DANGERESQUE TOO: A bad idea all around!
Bib → Puddle
DANGERESQUE TOO: Soppins! {He wipes the coffee with the bib} DANGERESQUE TOO: The bib is covered in coffee BBQ grodiness now. And the puddle kinda looks n' smells like barf. Hooray!
Ice Machine
{Ice comes out of the machine.} DANGERESQUE TOO: It made the ice go down through the little grate. It was a little great.
Cup → Ice Machine
{The cup is filled with ice.} DANGERESQUE TOO: I filled my cup up with ice!
Any other item → Ice Machine
DANGERESQUE TOO: That doesn't need any ice.
Romance Debris
DANGERESQUE TOO: Whoa! There's no food left. Maybe the Coffee and Ice Machines had a romantic dinner together. A ro-ro din-din! Anyways, I'm takin this flower. Might come in handy. {picks up rose} Happy anniversary you two. May you one day make beautiful cold brews together.
Shaft (Vending)
Callbox
{First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: An emergency callbox! They'll be able to help me! ROOM SERVICE: Room Service. How may I help you? DANGERESQUE TOO: There are armed guards trying to kill me and the elevator's all messed up! Send help! ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, this line is just for room service. May I take your order? DANGERESQUE TOO: Why is there a room service callbox in the elevator shaft?! ROOM SERVICE: We get a lot of hungry spies and action heroes in this hotel, sir. There's also a callbox in the ventilation ducts. Should you have to crawl through those. Now may I take your order? {A menu appears}
{If not all items have been ordered} ROOM SERVICE: Room Service. May I take your order? {Um...} DANGERESQUE TOO: How bout an every order of food dog and a manilla cheescoke? ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, you have to order off the menu.
DANGERESQUE TOO: Yes, I'd like twelve please. ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry, twelve what? DANGERESQUE TOO: Of them. I'd like twelve of them. ROOM SERVICE: I'm going to need an actual menu item.
DANGERESQUE TOO: 3 bottles of your most requisite Charmande J'eupronde please vou plais. ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, we do not accept pretend French.
DANGERESQUE TOO: Joke joke joke. ROOM SERVICE: Order off the menu.
DANGERESQUE TOO: Can I get 10-12 of those fat little ketchup bottles? ROOM SERVICE: Maybe. IF YOU ORDER OFF THE FREAKING MENU!
{Romance Dinner} DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh yes, I'd like the Romantic Dinner with Steak and Green Item.
{If Poster was checked, Messy Ol' Ribs and Kid Meal becomes available.} {Messy Ol' Ribs} DANGERESQUE TOO: Lemme get the Messy ol' Ribs please.
{Kid Meal} DANGERESQUE TOO: I want the Kid Meal! For a singular kid! ROOM SERVICE: Our most popular item.
{If food is picked, continues below} ROOM SERVICE: Very good, sir. What's the room number? {If the Penthouse was not identified, a menu appears} {Umm...} DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh, can't you just like triungulate my bluetooths or something? {not subtitled} Locate me that way? ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.
DANGERESQUE TOO: Can you deliver it to the "Business Center?" Y'know that sad little alcove that just has an ancient deskjet and a CAT 1 cable? ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.
{Vending} {When ordering the Romance Dinner} DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh, just leave it by the vending machines how bout? ROOM SERVICE: You want the Romance Dinner Package delivered to the vending machines? DANGERESQUE TOO: Yeah! It's where me and my spousetype first met. She was getting ice when I burned two of my eyeballs with hot coffee. She put the ice on my eyes until the governor's chimpanzee— ROOM SERVICE: Okay FINE! But just this once. Your order will be there any second. {After ordering the Romance Dinner} DANGERESQUE TOO: Uh, just leave it by the vending machines how bout? ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.
{The Lobby?} DANGERESQUE TOO: You can just leave it in the lobby. Between the armed guards. It's cool, it's cool. ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.
{Stuck Floor} DANGERESQUE TOO: Can you just leave it between two floors that I don't know what they are? There were some people there with shoes. ROOM SERVICE: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need an actual room number.
{If the Penthouse room was identified, continues below automatically.} {First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: I'm staying in room 802, don't you know. ROOM SERVICE: Ah! Our VIP! Right away sir! We pride ourselves on unrealistically fast service! Can I get you something else?
ROOM SERVICE: That will be at your door in moments. Can I get you something else?
{If all items have been ordered and the hat is acquired} {SEND HELP!} DANGERESQUE TOO: Get hot water, get some iodine, get some disinfectant!
DANGERESQUE TOO: If you won't send help, will you send me... um... a letter? Tell me bout your family?
DANGERESQUE TOO: I need reinforcements!
DANGERESQUE TOO: Mr. Me-sident, we have a situation. I'd like me to come with me to safety.
DANGERESQUE TOO: There's a guy! With a spoon hat! And he's tryin to meech me!
Any item → Callbox
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to tamper with this call box. I should just use it the way Rob intended. Rob being the inventor of the call box. Lord Robert Callboxon.
Penthouse
Room Door
{First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: Huh. It's locked. Doesn't even have a room number. {knocks} Open up! I'm being pursued by sinister agents! {The door opens} BUBS: Go away! I hate you! {slams the door}
BUBS: {opens door} Unless you're room service, I don't wanna hear it! {slams door}
{After ordering the Kid Meal and Messy Ol' Ribs} BUBS: {opens door} Now I'm fulla room service! So unless you're a human naptake, lemee 'lone!
Diamond → Room Door
DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey, is this your Bowlegged Diamond? Do you want it back? BUBS: Can I eat it? DANGERESQUE TOO: Prolly not without significant dental trauma. BUBS: Then I bid you a goodly bye!
Keycard → Room Door
DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's see if this keycard works. {The door opens.} BUBS: Hey! What the crap?! DANGERESQUE TOO: {sounding official} Uh, I was just trying to get into my room. I'm in town for the symposium, I sympose... BUBS: You got the wrong room, business man! This is room 802! They coded your keycard wrong! DANGERESQUE TOO: Ah yes. I see. Nevertheless, might I come in to peek about for a pair of stylish socks? BUBS: GET OUTTA HERE!! {slams door} DANGERESQUE TOO: Room 802!
Any other item → Room Door
{Before ordering the Kid Meal and Messy Ol' Ribs} DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey occupant, may I interest you in random inventory item? BUBS: {opens door} Unless you're room service, I don't wanna hear it! {slams door}
{After ordering the Kid Meal and Messy Ol' Ribs} DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey occupant, may I interest you in random inventory item? BUBS: {opens door} Now I'm fulla room service! So unless you're a human naptake, lemee 'lone!
Kid Meal Trash
DANGERESQUE TOO: Aw man, I was hopin they'd leave the toy surprise. Just the upside-down clown bag. Which is what I like to call perps when I slam em up against the wall! Freeze Clown Bag! Dangeresque Too is breakin up your three ring circus ring/drug ring. Thing. {picks up bag}
Any item → Kid Meal Trash
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to use nothin with this stuff.
DANGERESQUE TOO: I should just get what I can from what's left.
Rib Detritus
DANGERESQUE TOO: The ribs are all gone. But they did come with a bib! Mine-take! {picks up bib}
Any item → Rib Detritus
DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't need to use nothin with this stuff.
DANGERESQUE TOO: I should just get what I can from what's left.
Shaft (Penthouse)
Dagger Skew
DANGERESQUE TOO: It's Dagger Skew! Master cheatburgler and stabby specialist! {A menu appears} {Whatcha doin?} {First time only} DANGERESQUE TOO: What are you doin danglin around this elevator shaft? DAGGER SKEW: Mmermer Mmhe! {takes out a shiny diamond} DANGERESQUE TOO: You stole the Bowlegged Diamond from a guest in this hotel?! DAGGER SKEW: Murmurer murmumble meh! DANGERESQUE TOO: Well, at least you're not the one tryin to kill me! Best of luck to ya!
DANGERESQUE TOO: What are you doin again? DAGGER SKEW: Mmermer Mmhe! DANGERESQUE TOO: Wight, wight. Diamonds.
{Daggers} DANGERESQUE TOO: What's up with that dagger headband? Does it give you an advantage on the 70's-ball court? DAGGER SKEW: Hermerman bermerman. DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh! They're perfectly spaced for slicin' up eyeballs? Whoa-ho-ho-HO. {steps back} I'll just be over here. {This menu item disappears.}
{After asking what he's doing} {Diamond?} DANGERESQUE TOO: Say, can I have that Bowlegged Diamond? DAGGER SKEW: harshymarsh shimsham! DANGERESQUE TOO: You'll only swap it for something of equal or morer value?
DANGERESQUE TOO: Gimme that diamond! DAGGER SKEW: Grumbletown!
Cuppa Ice → Dagger Skew
{Before talking to Dagger Skew} DANGERESQUE TOO: I don't got no reason to give him my hard-fought cup of ice.
{After talking to Dagger Skew} DANGERESQUE TOO: Hey Dagger Skew, I'll trade ya that diamond for this cup o' stolen ice! Facets, cuts, clarity! These babies got all the jewel words I know. DAGGER SKEW: Mmmrrh MEH! {Dangeresque Too gives Dagger Skew the shiny cup of ice. Dagger Skew gives him the shiny diamond.} DANGERESQUE TOO: Pleasure doin bidness witcha! {Dagger Skew rappells out of sight. An orange card falls down past the elevator.} DANGERESQUE TOO: What was that orange thing?
Any other item → Dagger Skew
{Before talking to Dagger Skew} DANGERESQUE TOO: Do you want this item for reasons unknown? DAGGER SKEW: Mrrah mrrah mraah!
{After talking to Dagger Skew} DANGERESQUE TOO: Will you trade me that Bowlegged Diamond for this? DAGGER SKEW: Mrrah mrrah mraah!
Using Two Inventory Items Together
DANGERESQUE TOO: Dangeresque Too never combines items. Except for grit and determination! I mash them into a paste and wear it as a hydrating sleep mask!
Game Over
{The words "Game Over" appear on black in Dangeresque Font, and are replaced by:}
DANGERESQUE TOO: Or did I?
{These are following phrases that will appear in the following order, changing every time you lose.} That's not wight...
Oops, you bwoke it...
Oh hewwo sudden death...
That did not look good for Dangeresque Too...
Lies. All lies! {The game then cuts back to the moment before you committed the action that led to the Game Over.}
Ending
DANGERESQUE TOO: Alright, I think I've got enough to conceal my identity. {He puts on the bib, the bag, and the hat} DANGERESQUE TOO: Hopefully those guards just let me walktz right out the front door. {steps toward elevator} Waltz-walkin', that is. {Dangeresque Too steps out. The doors close.} LEFT BAD GUY: AHH! All my childhood nightmares made real! RIGHT BAD GUY: Pump it fulla lead!! DANGERESQUE TOO: {unsubtitled} The pipes are broken! LEFT BAD GUY: OWW!! RIGHT BAD GUY: OOF!! LEFT BAD GUY: CLOWN!! RIGHT BAD GUY: I'm being assaulted by an unknown masked assailant!! {Cut to Dangeresque Too leaving the hotel wearing his disguise. The text "Roomisode X Complete" appears.} NARRATOR: Roomisode Complete! {Dangeresque Too bursts out. His disguise falls off and blinks away. Pan up to the top of the hotel. The sign reads "Swissblonkel Hotel". The letters blink.} {Fade to black. "Ended" appears.}
