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These are the English subtitles for Decemberween Short Shorts. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="dweenshorts.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="22" end="128" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="133" end="166" speaker="strongbad">Dear Tube Socks, it's me again.</line>
<line start="167" end="185" speaker="strongbad">I hope you had a good year.</line>
<line start="186" end="220" speaker="strongbad">Free of athletes' feet and toe jams.</line>
<line start="221" end="238" speaker="strongbad">Lemme cut to the chase.</line>
<line start="239" end="308" speaker="strongbad">On Decemberween morning, when I open you guys up, you're going to hear...things.</line>
<line start="309" end="362" speaker="strongbad">Hurtful things. Unforgivable things. Things like,</line>
<line start="363" end="379" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">groans</line>
<line start="380" end="384" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and</line>
<line start="385" end="403" speaker="strongbad">Oh, man!</line>
<line start="404" end="409" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and</line>
<line start="410" end="453" speaker="strongbad">This present of tube socks totally sucks and I hate it!</line>
<line start="454" end="482" speaker="strongbad">Don't you believe a word of it, Tube Socks.</line>
<line start="483" end="538" speaker="strongbad">I love you guys. I don't know what I'd do without my yearly pair.</line>
<line start="539" end="569" speaker="strongbad">But a guy's gotta keep up appearances, right?</line>
<line start="570" end="625" speaker="strongbad">If peoples found out I have a soft spot for tube socks, it'd be all over.</line>
<line start="626" end="673" speaker="strongbad">It took me years to live down that Martina Navratilova poster.</line>
<line start="674" end="707" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And I will not go down that road again.</line>
<line start="708" end="726" speaker="strongbad">We can be secret friends.</line>
<line start="727" end="752" speaker="strongbad">Like that hunchback kid at school.</line>
<line start="753" end="853" speaker="strongbad">In closing, please disregard any and all negative comments or negative burning you may hear or experience on Decemberween.</line>
<line start="854" end="891" speaker="strongbad">Stealthily Yours, A-Strong Bad.</line>
<line start="943" end="995" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="996" end="1033" speaker="homestar">Ooh, man. I feel de-licious!</line>
<line start="1034" end="1100" speaker="homestar">Does anybody here know if it is either illegal or unethical to wanna eat yourself?</line>
<line start="1101" end="1126" speaker="kingoftown">I sure hope not!</line>
<line start="1127" end="1170" speaker="strongbad">Eww — shut up, king... or I'll stuff you full of coal!</line>
<line start="1171" end="1190" speaker="kingoftown">That wouldn't be so bad!</line>
<line start="1191" end="1256" speaker="kingoftown">A little onion salt, some hot sauce... wouldn't be the first time!</line>
<line start="1257" end="1312" speaker="bubs">Hey, Coach Z! Don'tcha think it's about time you updated that photograph?</line>
<line start="1313" end="1370" speaker="coachz">Heck no! The 74s was the prime of my dating year!</line>
<line start="1371" end="1428" speaker="coachz">In those days ladies would go out with anything that had a mustache.</line>
<line start="1429" end="1499" speaker="homestar">Hey, Strong Bad, I really like your rhinestone cowboy costume.</line>
<line start="1500" end="1534" speaker="strongbad">Uh, you got the wrong 'ween, Homestar.</line>
<line start="1535" end="1575" speaker="strongbad">This is Decemberween. Not the Hallow- one.</line>
<line start="1576" end="1599" speaker="homestar">Oh... right, right.</line>
<line start="1604" end="1618" speaker="homestar">Trick-or-treat!</line>
<line start="1619" end="1644" speaker="strongbad">Does anybody know where Strong Sad is?</line>
<line start="1645" end="1661" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Uh, hello.</line>
<line start="1662" end="1682" speaker="strongsad">I'm right here!</line>
<line start="1683" end="1703" speaker="strongbad">Whoa, I can hardly see you!</line>
<line start="1704" end="1729" speaker="strongbad">You're like the Predator up there!</line>
<line start="1730" end="1811" speaker="strongsad">No, I'm like the most expensive ornament on this tree by about forty-five dollars!</line>
<line start="1812" end="1822" speaker="strongbad">Oh yeah?</line>
<line start="1823" end="1908" speaker="strongbad">Well my four point five cents of plastic sequins and styrofoam are about to bedazzle you right offa this tree!</line>
<line start="1909" end="1929" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">warbles</line>
<line start="1930" end="1944"><homestar>Ooh!</homestar><coachz>Ooh!</coachz><kingoftown>Ooh!</kingoftown></line>
<line start="1945" end="1954" speaker="strongsad" sfx="sfx">screams</line>
<line start="1955" end="1968" speaker="sfx">shatters</line>
<line start="1985" end="2021" speaker="strongmad">HAPPY DECEMBERWEEN!</line>
<line start="2022" end="2074" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="2083" end="2139" speaker="thehomestar">This here's gonna be the biggest Decemberween rat pile in town.</line>
<line start="2140" end="2160" speaker="rumblered" voiceover="voiceover">rumble, rumble...</line>
<line start="2161" end="2195" speaker="thehomestar">Aw, phooey. And after that, phooey.</line>
<line start="2196" end="2213" speaker="thehomestar">Not you again.</line>
<line start="2214" end="2296" speaker="rumblered">Earthling, explain to me this pile of rotten rodentia...rumble.</line>
<line start="2297" end="2322" speaker="thehomestar">It's Decemberween, Rumble Red.</line>
<line start="2323" end="2358" speaker="thehomestar">The most sanitary time of year.</line>
<line start="2359" end="2421" speaker="thehomestar">When everyone piles up all the dead rats they've a-cooma-lated throughout the year.</line>
<line start="2422" end="2501" speaker="rumblered">We don't have any Decemberweens on my planeeeeet, rumble.</line>
<line start="2502" end="2519" speaker="thehomestar">Well, whaddaya know?</line>
<line start="2520" end="2546" speaker="thehomestar">What <em>do</em> they have on your planet?</line>
<line start="2547" end="2566" speaker="rumblered">Oh, not much.</line>
<line start="2567" end="2629" speaker="rumblered">Long lines. Expensive bread. Rumble-doo.</line>
<line start="2630" end="2662"><oldmarzipan>Happy Decemberween, Rumble Red!</oldmarzipan><sfx>ticking</sfx></line>
<line start="2663" end="2681"><rumblered>Cosmic joy!</rumblered><sfx>ticking</sfx></line>
<line start="2682" end="2759"><rumblered>I think this buffalo has showed me the true meaning of December-rumble-ween!</rumblered><sfx>ticking</sfx></line>
<line start="2830" end="2860"><thehomestar>Haw, Haw, Haw.</thehomestar><oldmarzipan>Hee, Hee, Hee.</oldmarzipan></line>
<line start="2861" end="2895" speaker="thehomestar">A Decemberween tradition!</line>
<line start="2914" end="2966" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="2971" end="3003" speaker="strongsad">Dear Argyle Socks,</line>
<line start="3004" end="3057" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="3099" end="3132" speaker="homestar">Wow, what a great season, Coach Z.</line>
<line start="3133" end="3172" speaker="coachz">You said it, crumb bum. We was undeforted!</line>
<line start="3173" end="3191" speaker="homestar">Maybe you were.</line>
<line start="3192" end="3236" speaker="homestar">Well, have a good holiday. You doing anything special?</line>
<line start="3237" end="3252" speaker="coachz">Aww, totally.</line>
<line start="3253" end="3320" speaker="coachz">I'm havin' all kinds of real people over to my house for a coupla real people parties.</line>
<line start="3321" end="3369" speaker="coachz">Don't you worry about me. I am nat a loser.</line>
<line start="3370" end="3394" speaker="homestar">That's great, Coach Z! Well I...</line>
<line start="3395" end="3438" speaker="homestar">Coach Z? Coach Z?</line>
<line start="3439" end="3472" speaker="homestar">Ohh, Coach Zeeee.</line>
<line start="3473" end="3505" speaker="coachz">I've hit rack battom.</line>
<line start="3506" end="3545" speaker="homestar"><em>(singing)</em> A-listen to me now, cheer up Coach Z.</line>
<line start="3546" end="3623" speaker="homestar">It doesn't have to be creepy and depressing all the time.</line>
<line start="3624" end="3637" speaker="coachz">For real?</line>
<line start="3638" end="3665" speaker="homestar">If you learn to say words right,</line>
<line start="3666" end="3696" speaker="homestar">You'll find out people might</line>
<line start="3697" end="3734" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Not throw up so much when they talk to you!</line>
<line start="3738" end="3754" speaker="coachz">Oh, that'd be nice!</line>
<line start="3755" end="3773" speaker="homestar">Now listen to me.</line>
<line start="3774" end="3809" speaker="homestar">It's almost Decemberween</line>
<line start="3810" end="3869" speaker="homestar">And there's not a single present beneath your tree.</line>
<line start="3870" end="3896" speaker="homestar">When someone asks you, "What's up?"</line>
<line start="3897" end="3930" speaker="homestar">Don't tell them about your butt</line>
<line start="3931" end="3968" speaker="homestar">Or any embarrassing physical problems you might have.</line>
<line start="3969" end="3981" speaker="coachz">I collect those!</line>
<line start="3982" end="4010" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">And when you're talking to a pretty girl,</line>
<line start="4011" end="4042" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">On second thought, don't talk to any pretty girls.</line>
<line start="4043" end="4076" speaker="homestar">And you'll find yourself invited</line>
<line start="4077" end="4104" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">And probably way less indicted</line>
<line start="4105" end="4160" speaker="homestar">And you won't have to spend Decemberween alone!</line>
<line start="4163" end="4192" speaker="coachz">Hey, thanks for the advice, Homestar!</line>
<line start="4193" end="4230" speaker="coachz">I'd love to come to your house for Decemberween!</line>
<line start="4231" end="4267" speaker="homestar">What? No, no-ho-ho! No, no, no.</line>
<line start="4268" end="4312" speaker="homestar">No, Coach Z, no. No. No, you can't.</line>
<line start="4313" end="4363" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
</transcript>