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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="somber.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="23" end="60" speaker="all" sfx="sfx">unintelligible conversation</line>
  <line start="61" end="75" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Ahem!</line>
  <line start="76" end="122" speaker="strongsad">Thank you all for coming to my slide show presentation!</line>
  <line start="123" end="158" speaker="strongbad">Slide show? You said you found a dead body!</line>
  <line start="159" end="183" speaker="bubs">You told me there'd be's casseroles.</line>
  <line start="184" end="200" speaker="homestar">You're welcome.</line>
  <line start="201" end="231" speaker="strongsad">Summertime is generally a happy time,</line>
  <line start="232" end="271" speaker="strongsad">making it my least favorite time of year.</line>
  <line start="272" end="311" speaker="strongsad">So, in order to make myself appropriately miserable,</line>
  <line start="312" end="368" speaker="strongsad">I decided to embrace all the hoopla and go to the beach.</line>
  <line start="369" end="390" speaker="strongbad">Ooh, that's where you were.</line>
  <line start="391" end="450" speaker="strongbad">We all figured you were inside that barrel again. Moistening yourself, or whatever.</line>
  <line start="451" end="490" speaker="strongsad">It's called "The Dampening", and it helps me focus.</line>
  <line start="491" end="513" speaker="strongsad">Now, let's begin.</line>
  <line start="514" end="552" speaker="strongsad">My Somber Vacation.</line>
  <line start="553" end="582" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Since I don't have a lot of beach apparel,</line>
  <line start="583" end="644" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">The King of Town's blacksmith was kind enough to let me borrow this revealing little number.</line>
  <line start="645" end="680" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Even though I couldn't see anything with it on,</line>
  <line start="681" end="734" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">I think it's safe to assume this <em>really</em> turned some heads.</line>
  <line start="735" end="806" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Next, I went ahead and buried myself alive in the sand.</line>
  <line start="807" end="851" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">I won third place in a sand sculpture competition.</line>
  <line start="852" end="879" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Instead of collecting sea shells,</line>
  <line start="880" end="954" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">I stalked the sandy shores looking for algae-covered chunks of styrofoam coolers.</line>
  <line start="955" end="1018" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">I added googly eyes and some pipe cleaner and then played beach volleyball with them.</line>
  <line start="1019" end="1053" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">They won handily.</line>
  <line start="1054" end="1096" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Here I am enjoying my favorite tropical beverage:</line>
  <line start="1097" end="1153" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">A scalding hot cup of black coffee with beach sand on the rim.</line>
  <line start="1154" end="1204" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">The bartender kept calling it a "Sucks On The Beach".</line>
  <line start="1205" end="1260" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">My last night there, I went for a long midnight walk on the beach.</line>
  <line start="1261" end="1281" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">It would've been nice and lonely,</line>
  <line start="1282" end="1338" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">if I didn't keep tripping over teenage and European couples making out.</line>
  <line start="1339" end="1380" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">But, of course, I forgot to put on any moonscreen,</line>
  <line start="1381" end="1403" speaker="strongsad">so I got burned to a crisp! </line>
  <line start="1404" end="1434" speaker="all" sfx="sfx">laughing</line>
  <line start="1435" end="1456" speaker="bubs">Well, heeb my jeebies!</line>
  <line start="1457" end="1486" speaker="strongsad">Shut up! It's a skin condition.</line>
  <line start="1487" end="1522" speaker="strongsad">This is just how I tan. I can't help it!</line>
  <line start="1523" end="1544" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">laughs</line>
  <line start="1545" end="1575" speaker="strongbad">Lookin' good, Miss July!</line>
  <line start="1591" end="1676" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(singing)</i> Sweetness. Sweetness. I was only joking when I said.</line>
</transcript>