Subtitles goes4gold/en

WM0

These are the English subtitles for Homestar Runner Goes for the Gold. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

en  de  he  es  fr  nl  fi  pl  pt-br  tr

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="goes4gold.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="29" end="97"><sfx>spooky music</sfx><!--<text>20 years ago, two guys made this book:</text>--></line>
<line start="98" end="145"><sfx>spooky music</sfx><!--<text>A month later, they wrote the next Homestar Runner story,</text>--></line>
<line start="146" end="179"><sfx>spooky music</sfx><!--<text>and then promptly forgot about it.</text>--></line>
<line start="180" end="197"><sfx>dramatic sting</sfx><!--<text>Until now.</text>--></line>
<line start="198" end="249" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="250" end="266"><sfx>music</sfx><homestar>Oh, man, Strong Bad.</homestar></line>
<line start="267" end="301"><sfx>music</sfx><homestar>You're not gonna believe this thing! Wait 'till you see this thing!</homestar></line>
<line start="304" end="320" speaker="homestar">This thing is gonna change your life! <span style="visibility:hidden">Blow your mind! Wipe your nose!</span></line>
<line start="321" end="331" speaker="homestar">This thing is gonna change your life! Blow your mind! <span style="visibility:hidden">Wipe your nose!</span></line>
<line start="332" end="343" speaker="homestar">This thing is gonna change your life! Blow your mind! Wipe your nose!</line>
<line start="344" end="374" speaker="strongbad">Then shut the dang up and let's see it already!</line>
<line start="378" end="448" speaker="homestar">Okay. Okay. Um... It's, um... It's right... Um...</line>
<line start="449" end="493" speaker="strongbad">Homestar, did you ramble on so long that you forgot what you were going to show me?</line>
<line start="495" end="511" speaker="homestar">Um, no. <span style="visibility:hidden">And furthermore, <i>no</i>.</span></line>
<line start="512" end="525" speaker="homestar">Um, no. And furthermore, <span style="visibility:hidden"><i>no</i>.</span></line>
<line start="526" end="536" speaker="homestar">Um, no. And furthermore, <i>no</i>.</line>
<line start="540" end="563" speaker="homestar">It was this... <span style="visibility:hidden">Squeakburger.</span></line>
<line start="564" end="580" speaker="homestar">It was this... Squeakburger.</line>
<line start="583" end="593" speaker="homestar">Burger burger!</line>
<line start="594" end="612" speaker="strongbad">Whoa, look at this!</line>
<line start="616" end="640" speaker="strongbad">"The Homestar Runner and the Brothers Strong"?</line>
<line start="641" end="679" speaker="strongbad">"An unfinished second children's book by <i>(bleep)</i> and <i>(bleep)</i>"?</line>
<line start="682" end="723" speaker="homestar">Oh, that's definitely not what I was lookin' for. That thing looks terrible!</line>
<line start="725" end="750" speaker="strongbad">Come on, let's read it right the dang now!</line>
<line start="753" end="780" speaker="homestar" voiceover="lurid">The Homestar Runner and the Bathyscaphe.</line>
<line start="781" end="849" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">A lurid tale of underwater intrigue and underwater pants.</line>
<line start="851" end="871" speaker="strongbad">Uh, maybe I should read it.</line>
<line start="875" end="899" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">The Homestar Runner and the Brothers Strong.</line>
<line start="900" end="927" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">AKA Homestar Runner Goes for the Gold.</line>
<line start="928" end="987" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">AKA old glue turns gross and brown if you let it sit for 20 years.</line>
<line start="995" end="1034" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Everyone loves The Homestar Runner. He is a terrific athlete.</line>
<line start="1036" end="1045"><bookhomestar>Ding!</bookhomestar><sfx>ding!</sfx></line>
<line start="1049" end="1080" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Tomorrow is the annual triathlon.</line>
<line start="1084" end="1104" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Homestar Runner's team, the <span style="visibility:hidden"><i>All-Stars</i>, is practicing as we speak.</span></line>
<line start="1105" end="1127" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Homestar Runner's team, the <i>All-Stars</i>,<span style="visibility:hidden"> is practicing as we speak.</span></line>
<line start="1128" end="1148" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Homestar Runner's team, the <i>All-Stars</i>, is practicing as we speak.</line>
<line start="1150" end="1169" speaker="bookhomestar">Whistle hard, Pom Pom!</line>
<line start="1170" end="1181" speaker="sfx">whistles</line>
<line start="1182" end="1192" speaker="bookhomestar">Come on guys!</line>
<line start="1193" end="1198"><bookhomestar>Come on guys!</bookhomestar><sfx>whistles</sfx></line>
<line start="1199" end="1213"><bookhomestar>Come on guys!</bookhomestar><sfx>whistles</sfx><bookhomestar>Whistle to the max!</bookhomestar></line>
<line start="1214" end="1239" speaker="sfx">whistles</line>
<line start="1240" end="1288" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">The Homestar Runner's rivals, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and <span style="visibility:hidden"><i>Strong Sad</i> are having a hot team meeting.</span></line>
<line start="1289" end="1309" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">The Homestar Runner's rivals, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and <i>Strong Sad</i> <span style="visibility:hidden">are having a hot team meeting.</span></line>
<line start="1310" end="1333" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">The Homestar Runner's rivals, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and <i>Strong Sad</i> are having a hot team meeting.</line>
<line start="1334" end="1386" speaker="bookstrongbad">Strong Sad, you are too weak. You must be replaced by...</line>
<line start="1387" end="1394" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="1395" end="1410" speaker="bookstrongbad">Dijjery Doo!</line>
<line start="1411" end="1423" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="1434" end="1455" speaker="strongbad">Who the crap is Dijjery Doo?</line>
<line start="1457" end="1501" speaker="homestar">I tried to warn you! I wash my hands of this whole affair!</line>
<line start="1505" end="1554" speaker="strongbad">Well, I guess he looks <i>kinda</i> cool. Maybe he'll turn out alright.</line>
<line start="1561" end="1615" speaker="dijjerydoo">Hey, Strong Bad. I just want to say how happy I am to be part of the team.</line>
<line start="1616" end="1629" speaker="dijjerydoo">And the ah!</line>
<line start="1640" end="1671" speaker="bookstrongbad">I am immediately regretting this decision.</line>
<line start="1672" end="1705"> <bookstrongbad>I am immediately regretting this decision.</bookstrongbad><strongbad voiceover="yes">said uncharacteristically candid Strong Bad.</strongbad></line>
<line start="1709" end="1746" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yep">Dejected, Strong Sad moped passed the All-Stars.</line>
<line start="1747" end="1751" speaker="bookhomestar">What's </line>
<line start="1752" end="1760"><bookhomestar>What's</bookhomestar><sfx>whistles</sfx></line>
<line start="1761" end="1769"><bookhomestar>What's</bookhomestar><sfx>whistles</sfx><bookhomestar>wrong?</bookhomestar></line>
<line start="1770" end="1782"><bookhomestar>What's</bookhomestar><sfx>whistles</sfx><bookhomestar>wrong?</bookhomestar><sfx>whistles</sfx></line>
<line start="1784" end="1810" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">...said the greatest communicator on the planet.</line>
<line start="1814" end="1874" speaker="strongsad">My brothers kicked me off the team and replaced me with Dijjer—</line>
<line start="1875" end="1924" speaker="bookhomestar">Yeah, yeah. We know all that. Chin up and start getting ready for next year.</line>
<line start="1926" end="1956" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">...said The Homestar Runner as they left to compete.</line>
<line start="1962" end="1989" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">All the teams lined up for the first event:</line>
<line start="1993" end="2009" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Runni...n...g!</line>
<line start="2011" end="2044" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Oh man. I can't wait to see how I dominate this one!</line>
<line start="2050" end="2074" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Wait, what? <i>Pom Pom?</i></line>
<line start="2077" end="2114" speaker="strongbad">I'm more worried about how this is clearly roller-skating.</line>
<line start="2117" end="2146" speaker="strongbad">Is that what they called running in the mid-'90s?</line>
<line start="2151" end="2161" speaker="theannouncer">Ready... <span style="visibility:hidden">set... go!</span></line>
<line start="2162" end="2173" speaker="theannouncer">Ready... set... <span style="visibility:hidden">go!</span></line>
<line start="2174" end="2188" speaker="theannouncer">Ready... set... go!</line>
<line start="2194" end="2215" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Strong Mad gets an early lead.</line>
<line start="2216" end="2233"><strongbad voiceover="yes">Strong Mad gets an early lead.</strongbad><strongbad voiceover="yes">And wins!</strongbad></line>
<line start="2234" end="2269" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">After the first event, the Strong Stars have lead.</line>
<line start="2272" end="2295" speaker="strongbad">That—that's actually what it says.</line>
<line start="2298" end="2308" speaker="strongbad">No, take a look.</line>
<line start="2313" end="2335" speaker="strongbad">Ooh, or maybe it was supposed to be:</line>
<line start="2336" end="2349" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Have Lead!</line>
<line start="2351" end="2357" speaker="sfx">gun load</line>
<line start="2358" end="2364" speaker="sfx">click</line>
<line start="2365" end="2374" speaker="sfx">ka-boom</line>
<line start="2375" end="2388" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">That's better.</line>
<line start="2389" end="2404" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">On to the next event:</line>
<line start="2407" end="2424" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Swimming!</line>
<line start="2427" end="2451" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">The Homestar Runner wins!</line>
<line start="2452" end="2461" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Wait, what?</line>
<line start="2464" end="2528" speaker="strongbad">You get a freakin' submarine and alls I get is a fish crammed through my head?</line>
<line start="2530" end="2571" speaker="homestar">Yeah, you know. Standard collegiate swimming rules.</line>
<line start="2576" end="2587" speaker="homestar">Very standard.</line>
<line start="2590" end="2601" speaker="grape">Rule one: <span style="visibility:hidden">The Homestar Runner gets a state-of-the-art bathyscaphe-type situation.</span></line>
<line start="2602" end="2648" speaker="grape">Rule one: The Homestar Runner gets a state-of-the-art bathyscaphe-type situation.</line>
<line start="2653" end="2668" speaker="grape">Rule number two: <span style="visibility:hidden">Strong Bad... fish crammed through his head.</span></line>
<line start="2669" end="2696" speaker="grape">Rule number two: Strong Bad... fish crammed through his head.</line>
<line start="2708" end="2774" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Now his team is even with Strong Bad's team. Whoever wins the last event gets the gold!</line>
<line start="2781" end="2809" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Everyone's ready for the flying event!</line>
<line start="2815" end="2841" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Suddenly, Strong Bad's minion, <span style="visibility:hidden">The Sneak, cripples Mr. Bland.</span></line>
<line start="2842" end="2848"><strongbad voiceover="yes">Suddenly, Strong Bad's minion, <span style="visibility:hidden">The Sneak, cripples Mr. Bland.</span></strongbad><thecheat>The Cheat noises</thecheat></line>
<line start="2849" end="2861" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Suddenly, Strong Bad's minion, The Sneak, <span style="visibility:hidden">cripples Mr. Bland.</span></line>
<line start="2862" end="2877"><strongbad voiceover="yes">Suddenly, Strong Bad's minion, The Sneak, <span style="visibility:hidden">cripples Mr. Bland.</span></strongbad><thecheat>The Cheat noises that sound unmistakably like "What the crap?"</thecheat></line>
<line start="2878" end="2894" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Suddenly, Strong Bad's minion, The Sneak, cripples Mr. Bland.</line>
<line start="2899" end="2917" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Yeah, I'm with you, The Cheat.</line>
<line start="2919" end="2975" speaker="strongbad">How come <i>(bleep)</i> and <i>(bleep)</i> can't seem to keep my sidekicks straight for more than like two pages?</line>
<line start="2978" end="3011" speaker="strongbad">That Old-Timey rat thing's not gonna cripple anybody!</line>
<line start="3013" end="3029" speaker="sfx">beating</line>
<line start="3036" end="3056" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Whoa-ho-ho! Touché.</line>
<line start="3066" end="3086" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Everyone else takes off.</line>
<line start="3097" end="3124" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">What will the All-Stars do?</line>
<line start="3125" end="3174" speaker="bookhomestar">Strong Sad, come take these broken wings and learn to fly.
</line>
<line start="3179" end="3231" speaker="bookhomestar">Strong Sad, you've got to fly, fly to the angels.
</line>
<line start="3235" end="3287" speaker="bookhomestar">Strong Sad, you're motoring. What's your price for flight?
</line>
<line start="3288" end="3300"><bookhomestar>Strong Sad, you're motoring. What's your price for flight?</bookhomestar><strongbad voiceover="yes">said Homestar.</strongbad></line>
<line start="3304" end="3350" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Strong Sad was now an All-Star. They were back in business!</line>
<line start="3356" end="3417" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Strong Sad was making up all kinds of ground. He sure had a knack for this flying stuff.</line>
<line start="3423" end="3460" speaker="strongsad">I'm <i>glad</i> that I'm flying!</line>
<line start="3466" end="3482" speaker="sfx">sproing, whoosh</line>
<line start="3483" end="3497" speaker="strongsad">Whoo-hoo!</line>
<line start="3504" end="3518" speaker="bookstrongbad">Ewww!</line>
<line start="3519" end="3544" speaker="bookhomestar">Um... no.</line>
<line start="3545" end="3558" speaker="bookhomestar">Just no.</line>
<line start="3559" end="3576" speaker="coachz">I am into this!</line>
<line start="3578" end="3595" speaker="bubs">I don't like it!</line>
<line start="3596" end="3622" speaker="bubs">And I am now in this book.</line>
<line start="3625" end="3632" speaker="sfx">slap</line>
<line start="3646" end="3687" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Dijjery Do was being passed by the high-flying Strong Sad.</line>
<line start="3689" end="3722" speaker="bookstrongbad">Dijjery do something, Dijjery Do!</line>
<line start="3723" end="3750"><bookstrongbad>Dijjery do something, Dijjery Do!</bookstrongbad><strongbad voiceover="yes">said master wordsmith Strong Bad.</strongbad></line>
<line start="3756" end="3794" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">He made a last ditch effort to sabotage the All-Stars.</line>
<line start="3797" end="3833" speaker="dijjerydoo">Okay, Strong Bad. I've got this little thing here—<span style="visibility:hidden">Ah!</span></line>
<line start="3834" end="3844" speaker="dijjerydoo">Okay, Strong Bad. I've got this little thing here—Ah!</line>
<line start="3855" end="3861" speaker="sfx">drop</line>
<line start="3869" end="3874" speaker="sfx">splat</line>
<line start="3878" end="3882" speaker="sfx">bounce</line>
<line start="3883" end="3896" speaker="sfx">ticking</line>
<line start="3897" end="3923" speaker="sfx">explode</line>
<line start="3926" end="3952" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Dijjery Do's plan backfired.</line>
<line start="3955" end="4002" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Uh, yeah, you think? You sure you didn't want to use any more adjectives there?</line>
<line start="4006" end="4012" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Like, <span style="visibility:hidden">catastrophically head-chunkularly backfired?</span></line>
<line start="4013" end="4025" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Like, catastrophically <span style="visibility:hidden">head-chunkularly backfired?</span></line>
<line start="4026" end="4045" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Like, catastrophically head-chunkularly <span style="visibility:hidden">backfired?</span></line>
<line start="4046" end="4058" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Like, catastrophically head-chunkularly backfired?</line>
<line start="4060" end="4069" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Maybe?</line>
<line start="4075" end="4080" speaker="sfx">ding!</line>
<line start="4081" end="4105" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">The All-Stars win!</line>
<line start="4112" end="4182" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Getting the gold with The Homestar Runner changed Strong Sad. He is now Strong Glad.</line>
<line start="4183" end="4236" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="4239" end="4283" speaker="strongbad">So they were just gonna leave him like that? As Strong Glad?</line>
<line start="4286" end="4312" speaker="homestar">Yep! Washed hands! Hands washed!</line>
<line start="4314" end="4360" speaker="strongbad">But then I wouldn't have been able to make fun of all his sad sackery!</line>
<line start="4362" end="4438" speaker="strongbad">Ooh, I'm also totally gonna start referring to him as twelfth president Sad Sachary Taylor from now on.</line>
<line start="4440" end="4460" speaker="homestar">I told you it was terrible!</line>
<line start="4462" end="4503" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, man. That piece of masking tape knows what it's talking about.</line>
<line start="4507" end="4558" speaker="strongbad">That was some premium, grade A, old Homestar Runner crap.</line>
<line start="4561" end="4586" speaker="homestar">But hey look! I found my old whistle!</line>
<line start="4590" end="4601" speaker="homestar" sfx="yes">whistle noises</line>
<line start="4604" end="4634" speaker="strongbad">Uh, that... I don't think that you're using that right.</line>
<line start="4636" end="4647" speaker="homestar" sfx="yes">whistle noises</line>
<line start="4649" end="4698" speaker="homestar">And so begins a great new era in Homestar Runner talk!</line>
<line start="4701" end="4720" speaker="homestar" sfx="yes">whistle noises</line>
<line start="4721" end="4729" speaker="strongbad">Ohhh.</line>
<line start="4730" end="4741" speaker="homestar" sfx="yes">whistle noises</line>
<line start="4742" end="4755" speaker="strongbad">Fantastic.</line>
<line start="4756" end="4770" speaker="homestar" sfx="yes">whistle noises</line>
<line start="4771" end="4808" speaker="strongbad">I sure hope <i>this</i> continues for the next twenty years.</line>
<line start="4810" end="4830" speaker="homestar">It will—<i>(whistle noises)</i></line>
<line start="4834" end="4840" speaker="sfx">smack</line>
<line start="4854" end="4873" speaker="homestar" sfx="yes" voiceover="yes">whistle noises</line>
<line start="4892" end="4957" speaker="sfx">spooky music</line>
<line start="4958" end="4963" speaker="sfx">rustling</line>
<line start="4964" end="4967" speaker="sfx">pop</line>
<line start="4971" end="5002" speaker="dijjerydoo">Oh, hey you guys! I made it out!</line>
<line start="5003" end="5043" speaker="dijjerydoo">I somehow survived inside this crate for twenty years!</line>
<line start="5044" end="5063"><dijjerydoo sfx="yes">muffled yelling</dijjerydoo><thecheat>angry The Cheat noises</thecheat><sfx>slam</sfx><sfx>dramatic sting</sfx></line>
<line start="5064" end="5088" speaker="dijjerydoo" sfx="yes">muffled yelling</line>
<!-- Easter egg -->
<line start="5105" end="5138" speaker="strongbad">Okay... here's the cartoon...</line>
<line start="5142" end="5151" speaker="sfx">jingle</line>
<line start="5167" end="5176" speaker="homestar">That's it?</line>
<line start="5178" end="5192" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, check it out!</line>
<line start="5196" end="5229" speaker="homestar">Strong Bad, that took you like fifteen hours.</line>
<line start="5231" end="5287" speaker="strongbad">This Mario Paint is a— a delicate art, Homestar. You can't rush these things.</line>
<line start="5289" end="5335" speaker="homestar">At this rate, you won't finish the cartoon 'till our <i>fortieth</i> anniversary!</line>
<line start="5337" end="5378" speaker="strongbad">Alright, fine. We'll just do the cartoon in Flash.</line>
<line start="5383" end="5418" speaker="homestar">Good idea. 'Cause that's <i>way</i> less obsolete.</line>
</transcript>