Subtitles answer9/en

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These are the English subtitles for Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="answer9.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="20" end="89" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Hi, this is M-A-R-Z-I-P-A-N. Please leave me a message after the B-E-E-P.</line>
  <line start="92" end="98" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="107" end="128" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Hello Marzipan, it's the King of Town.</line>
  <line start="139" end="185" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Look, I need to know if it's still Thanksgiving.</line>
  <line start="193" end="252" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Um, I really, really need it to still be Thanksgiving.</line>
  <line start="258" end="335" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Like, I fear for my personal safety if it's not Thanksgiving still.</line>
  <line start="338" end="392" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">And if not... then, is it next Thanksgiving yet?</line>
  <line start="398" end="438" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, if you could get back to me as soon as possible that'd be great.</line>
  <line start="441" end="448" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="457" end="527" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Good mornin', Marzipan. This is your cable man... uh, Cableman Jorge.</line>
  <line start="534" end="558" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Just calling you regarding your service.</line>
  <line start="568" end="624" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">We need you to do a little routine maintenance on it, so go ahead and buy, like,</line>
  <line start="625" end="706" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">a hundred-foot spool of coaxial cable and run it off your cable box and out the window</line>
  <line start="713" end="750" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and give it a toss in the general direction of Strong Bad's house.</line>
  <line start="760" end="822" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And while you're at it, you may want to go ahead and upgrade to the premium package</line>
  <line start="824" end="879" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">which includes all the pay channels... and the Olympic triplecast.</line>
  <line start="886" end="938" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">So... get that done for us, we'll be- we'll be much obliged.</line>
  <line start="948" end="988" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Tenderly, I remain... Cableman Jorge.</line>
  <line start="996" end="1003" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="1011" end="1058" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Hey there, Marzipan. It's the lyrical wondermind, Coach Z.</line>
  <line start="1067" end="1116" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Calling to ask you if, uh, you seen one of my discotapes...</line>
  <line start="1118" end="1142" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I think I left over there.</line>
  <line start="1152" end="1227" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Uh, it's one of my most favorite discotapes and I'd really like it back so, I'm gonna come...</line>
  <line start="1229" end="1333" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I'm just gonna head on over there, uh, and if you're not there I'll just let myself in the crack in the window like I usually do...</line>
  <line start="1336" end="1392" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I mean... not... I never do, because I've never snuck into your house before.</line>
  <line start="1394" end="1440" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I mean, who's sneakin' over here? Nobody. I'm creepin'.</line>
  <line start="1457" end="1495" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Have you tried these new crazy curly fries?</line>
  <line start="1497" end="1511" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I mean, they're crazy!</line>
  <line start="1514" end="1571" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">It's like a french fry, but it's all curled up into a curlied-Q!</line>
  <line start="1585" end="1589" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="1592" end="1642" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">eating chips</line>
  <line start="1648" end="1694" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh... hey Marzipan. This is that guy Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1700" end="1739" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um... so I was just reading on my Internet...</line>
  <line start="1758" end="1797" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">about how tofu is made from little baby seals.</line>
  <line start="1815" end="1901" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Yeah, so like, all this time, you've been eatin', um, little baby seals. So what?</line>
  <line start="1911" end="1993" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I guess you're gonna keel over, at like, any second now at the thought of all these little baby seals running around in your stomach.</line>
  <line start="2001" end="2059" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I mean, that's just gross. Just plain old gross.</line>
  <line start="2070" end="2127" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">So in conclusion... you should listen to your cable man.</line>
  <line start="2176" end="2182" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="2199" end="2265" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">So I just got this message you left for me on Pom Pom's cell phone telling me to go away and pick up sticks.</line>
  <line start="2275" end="2301" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Well I say that is <em>garbage</em>, sister!</line>
  <line start="2309" end="2351" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Having to put up with you is like having to put up with <em>garbage</em>!</line>
  <line start="2363" end="2426" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I don't know where you get off, but it's definitely not at the Homestar Station anymore.</line>
  <line start="2431" end="2481" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Looks like you're riding the 7:30 alone train to <em>Aloneville</em>.</line>
  <line start="2486" end="2540" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Making stops at Ex-Girlfriend Junction and West <em>Breakin' up with You</em>!</line>
  <line start="2556" end="2590" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, and you can keep the collector's plates!</line>
  <line start="2593" end="2597" speaker="sfx" voiceover="voiceover">beep</line>

  <line start="2615" end="2693" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, so after a second listening under the tutelage of Pom Pom's keen ears,</line>
  <line start="2698" end="2758" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">it appears that you were asking me to go to Richway and pick up some Hefty bags,</line>
  <line start="2761" end="2787" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">not to go away and pick up sticks.</line>
  <line start="2795" end="2855" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">And now that I think about it, I don't really know what that would have meant even if you had said that.</line>
  <line start="2861" end="2943" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">So, best thing to do is... to go back and not listen to that message, and then we've got nothing to worry about.</line>
  <line start="2947" end="2960" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, wait... in fact...</line>
  <line start="2964" end="3010" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">imitating rewinding tape noises</line>
  <line start="3013" end="3039" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, there. I think I reversed it.</line>
  <line start="3043" end="3062" speaker="pompom" voiceover="voiceover">bubbles</line>
  <line start="3065" end="3107" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">What? What do you mean that doesn't work?</line>
  <line start="3107" end="3128" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"> Oh crap.</line>
  <line start="3193" end="3254" speaker="homestar">All's I gotta do is switch out the tapes and none will be the wiser.</line>

  <line start="3284" end="3376" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating Marzipan)</i> Oh, hey, this is Marzipan... and, um... leave a message after my beeps. Beep.</line>
  <line start="3383" end="3425" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating Strong Bad)</i> Oh, hey, Marzipan. This is the Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="3430" end="3558" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Uh... go around... go around with doo doo on your head... 'cause it could be funny. Okay, bye. Beep!</line>
  <line start="3570" end="3602" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating Coach Z)</i> Hey there, Marzipan. This is Coach Z.</line>
  <line start="3616" end="3672" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I was just wonderin' why you weren't at field hockey practice today.</line>
  <line start="3682" end="3807" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Um... great job. Oh, I mean... great job. Oh, I mean... great job. Boop!</line>
  <line start="3813" end="3862" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating himself)</i> Hey there, Marzipan, this is your boyfriend, Homestar Runner.</line>
  <line start="3864" end="3906" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">You're the best girlfriend I ever had. Let's have a marriage.</line>
  <line start="3908" end="3955" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Let's have a marriage license. Okay, bye. Boop!</line>
  <line start="3960" end="4009" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(poorly imitating Strong Sad)</i> Oh, hey Marzipan this is Strong Sad.</line>
  <line start="4017" end="4080" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Um... some animal died. Boop!</line>
</transcript>