Subtitles answer14/en

WM0

These are the English subtitles for Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="answer14.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="19" end="44" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="yes">Aloha, this is Marzipan.</line>
<line start="44" end="104" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="indeed">I'm lounging on the lanai, enjoying a wheatgrass-tini, in my wheatgrass-kini.</line>
<line start="104" end="134" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="correct">Please leave a mauka-makai-message.</line>
<line start="134" end="142" speaker="sfx">beep</line>

<line start="150" end="179" speaker="coachz" voiceover="total yes">Hey, Marzipan, it's Coach Z!</line>
<line start="179" end="235" speaker="coachz" voiceover="not here">Just calling to remind yous that spring shin tryouts are just around the corner.</line>
<line start="235" end="323" speaker="coachz" voiceover="still not here">Don't forget to bring your shin-guards and your shin-pads and your shin-protectors and your shin-rub.</line>
<line start="323" end="407" speaker="coachz" voiceover="really not here">Don't worry about shin-balls, we'll provide those, but this'll be your week to bring the shin-snack.</line>
<line start="407" end="505" speaker="coachz" voiceover="still voiceover">So, you know, bring orange slices or some Cheetos or... Pretty much anything orange works for a good shin-snack.</line>
<line start="505" end="555" speaker="coachz" voiceover="still not voice not over">And get ready to scrimmage our bitter rivals, Skins.</line>
<line start="555" end="563" speaker="sfx">beep</line>

<line start="570" end="640" speaker="homestar" voiceover="not here either">Hey, Marzipan, it's Homestar... and, um...</line>
<line start="640" end="670" speaker="homestar" voiceover="for real">Crap! What was I calling you for?</line>
<line start="670" end="737" speaker="homestar" voiceover="how long">I was gonna ask you something about... something.</line>
<line start="737" end="772" speaker="homestar" voiceover="can I keep">Aw, never mind. If I think of it, I'll call you back.</line>
<line start="772" end="788" speaker="homestar" voiceover="doing this">Now give me that beep.</line>
<line start="788" end="794" speaker="sfx">beep</line>

<line start="805" end="922" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="not much longer">Uh, hello? This is the King of April Fool's Day pranks, calling her Majesty, the Queen of April Fool's Day pranks.</line>
<line start="922" end="1060" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="getting bored now">Remember that time we replaced everybody's toilet paper with 100% post-consumer recycled toilet paper? Nobody knew what hit 'em!</line>
<line start="1060" end="1122" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="I'll stop now">Literally, they didn't know that we had done that!</line>
<line start="1122" end="1235" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">So for this year, I was thinking we could make everyone a cinnamon-apple crisp, but tell them it's a ginger-apple crumble.</line>
<line start="1235" end="1325" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="ehh">I know, I know, I'm so bad! But we could get into some serious trouble for this one.</line>
<line start="1325" end="1375" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">In fact, I probably shouldn't even be talking about it on the phone.</line>
<line start="1375" end="1490" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Uh, uh, slow pitch racquetball? I'd love to play slow pitch racquetball! In fact, that's what this whole conversation's been about! Okay, so l-long!</line>
<line start="1490" end="1499" speaker="sfx">beep</line>

<line start="1505" end="1562" speaker="crack" voiceover="voiceover">Hello, Marzipan. <em>This</em> is Crack Stuntman.</line>
<line start="1562" end="1642" speaker="crack" voiceover="voiceover">I'm the handsome actor that's handsomely paid to do the voice of... Gun-hay-ver... on the Cheat Command-show.</line>
<line start="1642" end="1734" speaker="crack" voiceover="voiceover">As national spokesperson for a charitable wildlife organization, I'm demanding that you stop protesting in our rallies!</line>
<line start="1734" end="1855" speaker="crack" voiceover="voiceover">Pistols for Pandas is a just cause! These are stupid, fat, slow creatures we're talking about. They need all the firepower they can get.</line>
<line start="1855" end="1962" speaker="crack" voiceover="voiceover">Last year alone, the PFP put handguns in the paws of no fewer than 300 underprivileged and unarmed pandas.</line>
<line start="1962" end="2038" speaker="crack" voiceover="voiceover">And what do you care? People like you don't even eat panda! This is Crack Stuntman, signing off.</line>
<line start="2038" end="2100" speaker="crack" voiceover="voiceover">And signing autographs at the North Garden Ridges Hills Mall this Saturday!</line>
<line start="2100" end="2130" speaker="crack" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(singing)</i> Da-da-da-da-da-da-dah!</line>
<line start="2130" end="2138" speaker="sfx">beep</line>

<line start="2144" end="2250" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Hello—Marzipan. This is—Nadine—Automated Menu Burger—calling from—Trusted—Financial—Institution.</line>
<line start="2250" end="2324" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">To check on the status of an existing gigantic butt, please press or say—"gigantobutt"—now.</line>
<line start="2324" end="2436" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Or—to place a new—six foot italian sub—in—Strong Bad—'s—hands, please hang up—and do that mess—right now.</line>
<line start="2436" end="2530" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I'm sorry—I didn't catch that. I think you said—"gigantobutt". If this is correct, please press or say—"yes."</line>
<line start="2530" end="2609" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I'm sorry—I think you said—"yes." If this is correct, please press or say—"total yes."</line>
<line start="2609" end="2650" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I'm sorry—I didn't catch that. Let's start again.</line>
<line start="2650" end="2718" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">To check on the status—of an existing butt that's so big it has its own Congressman, please press or say—</line>
<line start="2718" end="2724" speaker="sfx">beep</line>

<line start="2732" end="2761" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Hey Marzipan, I remembered what it was!</line>
<line start="2761" end="2795" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I'm actively sinking in quicksand!</line>
<line start="2795" end="2923" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">So, if you have any vines or roots that you can toss my way, I would be really, really still alive.</line>
<line start="2923" end="2942" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Now bring that beep back!</line>
<line start="2942" end="2949" speaker="sfx">beep</line>

<line start="2960" end="2982" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">sigh</line>
<line start="2998" end="3070" speaker="homestar"><i>(singing)</i> Somewheres, out theres...</line>
</transcript>