Subtitles sbemail202/en
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail202.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="17" end="66" speaker="strongbad">Checking emails at home from your worrrrk computer,</line> <line start="67" end="110" speaker="strongbad">it's kinda like playing first person shooters with your girlfriend.</line> <line start="111" end="150" speaker="strongbad">It kinda ruins them booooth.</line> <line start="151" end="172" speaker="strongbad">"Dear. Streer. Beer.</line> <line start="173" end="220" speaker="strongbad">"My brother had a friend over today and he drove me crazy!</line> <line start="221" end="240" speaker="strongbad">"What should I do about it?</line> <line start="241" end="275" speaker="strongbad">"Crudfully"? "Henry Wisner Wisconsin"?</line> <line start="276" end="306" speaker="strongbad">Crudfully? Really?</line> <line start="307" end="346" speaker="strongbad">What, was your mom sitting over your shoulder when you typed this email?</line> <line start="346" end="380" speaker="strongbad">And is your mom the kind of lady that won’t let you type the word “crap”?</line> <line start="381" end="412" speaker="strongbad">Don't get me wrong, I still woulda made fun of you</line> <line start="413" end="430" speaker="strongbad">if you <em>had</em> typed “crapfully”,</line> <line start="431" end="460" speaker="strongbad">I prolly would have just left your moms out of it.</line> <line start="461" end="495" speaker="strongbad">So, your bro's fro drove you cro? </line> <line start="496" end="520" speaker="strongbad">I don't really have that problem.</line> <line start="521" end="575" speaker="strongbad">On account of my brothers are galactically incapable of friend-have.</line> <line start="576" end="605" speaker="strongbad">Although when we were kids, Strong Sad had this</line> <line start="606" end="645" speaker="strongbad">imaginary friend that annoyed the crud outta me.</line> <line start="646" end="675" speaker="strongbad">Of course, this was back before insane parents</line> <line start="676" end="714" speaker="strongbad">made imaginary friends illegal for kids to have.</line> <line start="714" end="752" speaker="strongbad">Strong Sad invented him one time when we locked him in the attic.</line> <line start="753" end="778" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">You know we don’t have an attic!</line> <line start="779" end="804" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, when we stuffed him in the air vent.</line> <line start="805" end="824" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">You know we don’t have an…</line> <line start="825" end="851" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, fine. When we taped him to the ceiling.</line> <line start="852" end="884" speaker="lilstrongbad">That'll teach you to stand and blink.</line> <line start="885" end="948" speaker="lilstrongbad">Now stay up there until that bubble tape gives out and you fall into my open faced booby trap!</line> <line start="949" end="980" speaker="lilstrongbad">We were out of ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise.</line> <line start="981" end="1026" speaker="lilstrongsad">Ohoho! You're right! My brother does look like a big circle</line> <line start="1027" end="1076" speaker="lilstrongsad">with two smaller circles on top of another circle from up here!</line> <line start="1077" end="1104" speaker="lilstrongbad">Hey! Shut up! Who’re you talkin’ to?</line> <line start="1105" end="1181" speaker="lilstrongsad">Just my new best-also-bubble-taped-to-the-ceiling friend, Scotty Titi!</line> <line start="1182" end="1225" speaker="strongbad">THAT’S half the reason imaginary friends are illegal now!</line> <line start="1225" end="1268" speaker="strongbad">Kids always give them the creepiest possible names.</line> <line start="1274" end="1290" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Rubby Plop-Plop,</line> <line start="1291" end="1312" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Sir Zabblepants,</line> <line start="1313" end="1333" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Dingy Donger,</line> <line start="1334" end="1375" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Real Live Actual Mr. Blangcaster Next Door.</line> <line start="1376" end="1405" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">So, anyway, Strong Bad <!--[sic] Yes, that's what he says. Matt must have made this mistake during recording.--> and Scotty Titi were always</line> <line start="1406" end="1425"> <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">annoying the crap out of us.</strongbad> <sfx>Drill noises</sfx> </line> <line start="1426" end="1460" speaker="lilstrongsad">Ahahaha! That’s a good one!</line> <line start="1461" end="1495" speaker="lilstrongbad">Hey! Shut it up! What are you guys doing over there?</line> <line start="1496" end="1554" speaker="lilstrongsad">Oh. Scotty Titi and I were just attaching indefinite articles,</line> <line start="1554" end="1610" speaker="lilstrongsad">and he jokingly used "a" before a vowel sound! Ohohoho!</line> <line start="1611" end="1667" speaker="lilstrongbad">I’ll attach this definite brick to Scotty Titi’s face! UNH!</line> <line start="1668" end="1692" speaker="lilstrongsad">Nice reflexes, Scotty!</line> <line start="1693" end="1741" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I say he annoyed us, but it was really just me.</line> <line start="1741" end="1805" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Strong Mad was going through some…ahem…changes in those days.</line> <line start="1806" end="1855" speaker="teenstrongmad">GIRLS ARE CONFUSING!</line> <line start="1856" end="1883" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">So, it was all up to me.</line> <line start="1884" end="1937" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">First I tried to render Scotty Titi obsolete as an imaginary friend…</line> <line start="1938" end="1972" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">…by exposing him as a real-ginary friend!</line> <line start="1973" end="1988" speaker="lilstrongbad">AHA!</line> <line start="1989" end="2050" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I used to get imaginary and invisible mixed up a lot as a kid.</line> <line start="2051" end="2129" speaker="lilstrongsad">Oh thanks, big brother. I’ve always wanted to pit my skills against a pile of cake flour!</line> <line start="2130" end="2187" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And of course, at one point, I tried to…tee-tee. On Scotty Titi.</line> <line start="2188" end="2225" speaker="lilstrongbad">Oh no! My new boots!</line> <line start="2226" end="2295" speaker="strongbad">I finally had no recourse but to fight imaginary fire with imaginary fire.</line> <line start="2295" end="2345" speaker="strongbad">So after drinking three gallons of blue drink, I made up my own</line> <line start="2346" end="2393" speaker="strongbad">imaginary friend so they could fight to the imaginary death!</line> <line start="2393" end="2470" speaker="lilstrongbad">Hey, Scotty Titi! I’d like you to meet my new friend, Frishy Freshy Dragonman!</line> <line start="2483" end="2497" speaker="lilstrongsad">Scotty, look out!</line> <line start="2498" end="2540" speaker="lilstrongbad">Wait. Scotty Titi is just a lump?</line> <line start="2541" end="2565" speaker="lilstrongbad" voiceover="yes">A mound? A pile?</line> <line start="2570" end="2582" speaker="lilstrongsad">Pretty much.</line> <line start="2615" end="2637" speaker="frishyfreshydragonman">Can I go now?</line> <line start="2638" end="2651" speaker="lilstrongbad">Yeah, you’re done.</line> <line start="2652" end="2664" speaker="sfx">POOF!</line> <line start="2665" end="2724" speaker="strongbad">You still there, Crudkid? I don't know if your mom let you watch this far into the email or not.</line> <line start="2725" end="2779" speaker="strongbad">Anyways, I'm not suggesting you breathe fire on your brother's friend, you know.</line> <line start="2780" end="2812" speaker="strongbad">I'm suggesting you duct tape him to the ceiling.</line> <line start="2813" end="2909" speaker="strongbad">Your realginary pal, Strong Bad. Or, Your imaginary pal, Pumpy Clumpy.</line> <line start="2935" end="3035" speaker="lilstrongsad">Spiro Agnew's favorite slacks! That's right! You're so good at Time Magazine: The Game, Scotty!</line> </transcript>