Subtitles:sbemail149/en

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail149.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="16" end="27" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">blows on imaginary microphone</line>
<line start="36" end="59" speaker="strongbad">Check one, check two.</line>
<line start="60" end="111" speaker="strongbad">Sibilance. Sibilance. SBEmail.</line>
<line start="114" end="137" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strongbad I was wondering,"</line>
<line start="138" end="172" speaker="strongbad">"If you are so famous, popular, and a chick-magnet"</line>
<line start="173" end="208" speaker="strongbad">"How come you <em>dawnt</em> have any candy product..."</line>
<line start="209" end="228" speaker="strongbad">"Or food thing..."</line>
<line start="229" end="242" speaker="strongbad">"To sell..."</line>
<line start="243" end="278" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.8">Dah, do do do do dooo,</line>
<line start="279" end="308" speaker="strongbad">"From somone thats not homestarrunnner"</line>
<line start="309" end="330" speaker="strongbad">Well, of course you're not, Somone.</line>
<line start="331" end="395" speaker="strongbad">Or else you would've fallen prey to Edgar's Baby's Daddy: my Homestar junkmail filter.</line>
<line start="396" end="422" speaker="strongbad">So what I don't have a candy product.</line>
<line start="423" end="446" speaker="strongbad">I betcha I will by the end of this email.</line>
<line start="447" end="493" speaker="strongbad">I'm famous, popular, and chick-magnet enough to have a candy product.</line>
<line start="494" end="534" speaker="strongbad">Why is it athletes are the only ones with their own candy bars?</line>
<line start="535" end="612" speaker="strongbad">Shouldn't they have their own brand of, like, jock-strap or divorce lawyer, instead?</line>
<line start="613" end="723" speaker="strongbad">For my candy bar, we're gonna need a name that's 50% Strong Bad, 50% tooth rot, and 50% ta-dah!!!</line>
<line start="724" end="746" speaker="strongbad">How 'bou... <span style="visibility:hidden">SBLOUNSKCHED!</span></line>
<line start="747" end="770" speaker="strongbad">How 'bou... SBLOUNSKCHED!</line>
<line start="771" end="806" speaker="strongbad">'Cuz that's how you're gonna feel when you eat one...</line>
<line start="807" end="850" speaker="strongbad">Like you got SBLOUNSKCHED!</line>
<line start="851" end="917" speaker="strongbad">Now we gotta be sure and represent as many of the different states of candy matter as possible.</line>
<line start="918" end="962" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">We’ll start with a gaseous cloud of marshmallow vapor,</line>
<line start="963" end="1021" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Encased in a globule of semi-solid licorice colloid.</line>
<line start="1022" end="1119" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">A bunch of those will be floating in a channel of liquid nougat, which I recently found out is the candy equivalent of veal.</line>
<line start="1120" end="1171" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And we roll all that up inside a solid crispety cookety log,</line>
<line start="1172" end="1211" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And cover it with rich, creamy...<span style="visibility:hidden"> pepperoni.</span></line>
<line start="1212" end="1231" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And cover it with rich, creamy... pepperoni.</line>
<line start="1232" end="1268" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Then sprinkle that with, not just crispy puffed rice,</line>
<line start="1269" end="1315" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But whole tiny bowls of crispy puffed rice cereal.</line>
<line start="1316" end="1354" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And finally, smother that with the ol' BBC: <span style="visibility:hidden">Boring Brown Chocolate.</span></line>
<line start="1355" end="1362" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And finally, smother that with the ol' BBC: Boring <span style="visibility:hidden">Brown Chocolate.</span></line>
<line start="1363" end="1369" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And finally, smother that with the ol' BBC: Boring Brown <span style="visibility:hidden">Chocolate.</span></line>
<line start="1370" end="1383" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And finally, smother that with the ol' BBC: Boring Brown Chocolate.</line>
<line start="1384" end="1399" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">I say...</line>
<line start="1400" end="1459" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Now that is a confection worthy of the SBLOUNSKCHED! name.</line>
<line start="1460" end="1514" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But I need to think of a better shape than the standard piece-of-crap shape.</line>
<line start="1515" end="1537" speaker="strongbad">I'm talkin' to you, Baby Ruth.</line>
<line start="1538" end="1587" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Let's see... shape, shape, shape shape shape...</line>
<line start="1588" end="1611" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Ooh, what about my pants?</line>
<line start="1612" end="1635" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Everybody knows my pants!</line>
<line start="1636" end="1731" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And they come with a built-in bite out of them for security, 'cause who's gonna steal a pair of half-eaten choco-pants?</line>
<line start="1732" end="1785" speaker="strongbad">Man, with a candy bar like that, you could get away with anything!</line>
<line start="1786" end="1804" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(singing)</i> You got the munch.</line>
<line start="1805" end="1828" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The crisp and the crunch.</line>
<line start="1829" end="1868" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Livin' in the gutter with Grandma</line>
<line start="1869" end="1879" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">When Coach puts you in,</line>
<line start="1880" end="1908" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You gotta go for the win.</line>
<line start="1909" end="1947" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Y2K turned out all riiiight!</line>
<line start="1948" end="1966"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">SBLOUNSKCHED!</strongbad><singers voiceover="voiceover">SBLOUNSKCHED!</singers></line>
<line start="1967" end="1987" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You can do it!</line>
<line start="1988" end="2008"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">SBLOUNSKCHED!</strongbad><singers voiceover="voiceover">SBLOUNSKCHED!</singers></line>
<line start="2009" end="2034" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Crunchy chew it!</line>
<line start="2035" end="2084"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">Who's got the money?!?</strongbad><singers voiceover="voiceover">Who's got the money?!?</singers></line>
<line start="2085" end="2096" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You got...</line>
<line start="2097" end="2116" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">SBLOUNSKCHED!</line>
<line start="2117" end="2149" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Buy one and you can get one free root canal or cavity search.</line>

<line start="2188" end="2206" speaker="homestar">Ooh, paydirt!</line>
<line start="2207" end="2250" speaker="homestar">A pair of half-eaten choco-pants!</line>
<line start="2263" end="2305" speaker="marshie"><i>(distorted)</i> You can't destroy me!</line>
</transcript>