the process

Strong Bad Email #79

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"YEEOW! Hot bees!"

Strong Bad explains how a Strong Bad Email is made, at the expense of Bubs.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Bubs, The Cheat, Homestar Runner

Places: Computer Room, The Field

Computer: Compy 386

Date: Monday, July 7, 2003

Running Time: 3:20

Page Title: Compy 386!!

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Two

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} My name is not Email Sam. Ooh ahh. So please don't call me Email Sam. Ooh ahh.

{reading}

Dear Strong Bad,
How long does it to answer an e-mail?
Can you show me the prosess?
Em.

{Strong Bad reads, "How long does it take to answer an e-mail?" even though the word "take" is omitted. He reads "prosess" as "prosess-sess... sess."}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Em? What's that supposed to stand for? Emerson? {pause} Embrodak? {another pause} Emtarkanderundersgunderson? Boy, you have some stupid and terrible names. {stops typing} Anyways... {clears the screen, resumes typing} Show you the process, eh, Em? Sure, I can do dat, but I should warn you, it may spoil the magic for some of you out there. I strongly urge both the faint of heart and the faint of butt to leave the room at this time.

{Strong Bad clears the screen.}

STRONG BAD: So... {typing} Usually I try to start things off with a little song that somehow involves the word email. {stops typing} You know, like "I'm pronouncing, email!" Or like "Email, bu da ba doo dow!" Something like that. {resumes typing} Then I pull up the email I picked for this week and read it, pointing out any and all spelling or grammatical errors along the way. Then, after I make fun of your name, I begin to answer your email.

{Strong Bad clears the screen.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Generally, I like to start with, "Well, whoever, something something something." Or occassionally I switch it up with, "Something something, eh, whoever?" Next, as I'm typing, you can usually click on certain words and make little pictures of dumb stuff pop up.

{Cut away to The Field. Strong Bad walks in.}

STRONG BAD: Now we've reached the point where we cut away from the computer to some other scene. This is where some other character like Bubs or Coach Z gets a chance to shine. And if The Cheat's gonna make an appearance, this is usually where you'll see him.

{Bubs enters.}

BUBS: Hey, Strong Bad! What's going on?

STRONG BAD: Oh, I'm just showing the guys here how I go about answering my emails.

BUBS: Right on, right on. You gotten to the part where I tear off my shirt and start flexin', {curls both arms in front of his chest, as if flexing} much to the delight of all my ladyfans?

STRONG BAD: Uhhh... no. That's never happened.

BUBS: What about the part where I ride out waterskiing on two discount alligators, much to the delight of all my ladyfans?

STRONG BAD: {cuts over before Bubs finishes} Yeah, that's never happened either.

{The Cheat walks in and puts three matches in Bubs's left foot.}

BUBS: Sounds like a pretty lame email show ya got here, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: Whatever, man.

{The Cheat lights the matches, setting Bubs's foot on fire. Bubs raises his leg and jumps up and down.}

BUBS: Ooh! Hot mama! {The Cheat puts a beehive on the ground, and Bubs's other foot lands in it.} YEEOW! Hot bees!

{Cut back to the Compy 386.}

STRONG BAD: Then we cut back to the computer, where I either wrap things up or wind things down, depending on how funny the last part was. And that's it, Em. That's how we do things around here. Now you can answer emails like a true Strong Bad. {clears screen} Then right before the paper comes down, I usually mutter something... {lowers voice} under my breath... about some girl named Beth.

{The Paper comes down. After about 10 or 15 seconds, Strong Bad continues.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Then sometimes, if you wait around for 10 or 15 seconds, something else happens.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You mean like me showing up to deliver a classic line?

STRONG BAD: No, I mean like me throwing a discount brick at you. {He throws the discount brick at Homestar, who ducks and the brick misses. A crashing sound is heard in the background.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {enlightened} Ohhh, discount brick!

{Cut back to the Compy.}

Easter Eggs

Some little pictures of dumb stuff.

• Click on the words "faint of heart" and "faint of butt" to see symbols representing the phrases.
• Click on "name" in "after I make fun of your name" to see Em's name tag.
• Click on the following words to see some example pop-ups:
  • "typing" — A picture of hands on a keyboard with the caption "PLEASE, Enjoy Typing!!"
  • "certain words" — A picture of hands holding a book with the caption "But For Real, Enjoy Certain Words!"
  • "dumb stuff" — A pie chart with 61% Dumb Stuff, 28% Tigers, 17% Net Gain, and 8% Rhythm / Blues. (These add up to 114%.)
• After Homestar does his thing, click on "something else" to hear an ad for Discount Alligator.

{radio tuning noise and white noise}

ANNOUNCER 1: Come on down to Discount Alligator. Have we got a deal for you.

ANNOUNCER 2: {quickly, in a low tone} Open 7 days a week. Take interstate side to Exit Porter-B. One mile south of Grandma Road. Kids get in free. Don't laugh at my bald spot.

{radio tuning noise and white noise again}

Fun Facts

Trivia

• The discount brick costs 13¢.
• The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "tass times in tonetown".
• Strong Bad pulls the discount brick out of nowhere.
• The YouTube description for this email is "Strong Bad breaks down all the steps of a successful email check. Learn from the pro!"

Remarks

• Strong Bad doesn't remark on the absence of the word "take" in the sender's email, even though he claims to point out "any and all spelling or grammatical errors".

Goofs

• Strong Bad misspells "occasionally" as "occassionally", mere seconds after having mentioned making fun of his fans' spelling errors.
• Strong Bad puts two spaces between the comma and "depending".

Inside References

• Strong Bad's email intro uses the name Sam.
• Homestar says, "discount brick" in the same tone that he said "tight pants" in super powers.
• This is another instance of names that end in -erson.
• This whole email breaks the fourth wall.
• Strong Bad's line about a girl named Beth is an example of a rhymed phrase.

Fast Forward

• Strong Bad would send out a tweet saying that he would like to throw "discount bricks" at a piece of fan art of Homestar Runner.

DVD Version

• To hear the Discount Alligators ad, click on the hidden Strong Bad icon at the bottom left of the screen.
• To view the other Easter eggs, use the angle button on the DVD remote.

YouTube Version

• The images that come from clicking on words appear automatically.
• The Discount Alligators ad plays automatically after the Discount Brick scene.

External Links

• watch "the process"
• watch "the process" on YouTube
• watch "the process" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "the process"