sbemail 206

Strong Bad Email #206

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Toon Category: Holiday Toon

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"Just like the previous model, only crappier. I mean, more expensive. I mean, lappier."

After years of checking his email on kitchen appliances, Strong Bad finally returns to checking on computers, as his Compé gets remodeled into the portable Lappier. Seeing that it's April Fools' Day, he gives Internet pranks a piece of his mind.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Animatronic The Homestar Runner, Animatronic Old-Timey Strong Bad, Dangeresque, Dangeresque Too, Renaldo, The Stunt Double, Strong Sad, Mike Chapman, Rather Dashing, Mustachioed Homestar Runner, Marzipan, The Cheat, Strong Mad, The King of Town, Bubs, Coach Z

Places: Marzipan's Kitchen, Computer Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Field, The King of Town's Castle, Gremlin

Kitchen Appliance: Econowave 4761-V

Computer: Lappier

Date: Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Running Time: 4:47 (official), 5:12 (actual)

Page Title: Econowave 4761-V

Transcript

{Strong Bad is in front of a microwave on a kitchen counter.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Emails are like Hot Pockets: they're full of garbage and cheese.

{The microwave beeps and turns on, emitting a hum. Text scrolls from right to left on the small screen.}

DEAR STRONG BAD, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DUST OFF THE COMPÉ AND ANSWER AN EMAIL? -MATT MACRO PIKA

{Strong Bad reads the words haltingly as they appear. Reads sender's name as "Matt Massapequa". The microwave beeps, and "DONE." scrolls down from above.}

STRONG BAD: Wait a minute, have I not always checked my email on kitchen appliances?!

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of a running blender making a whirring sound. "DEAR STRONG BAD" scrolls across a tiny screen from right to left.}

STRONG BAD: "Dear Strong Bad..."

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of a toaster. Toast pops up with "DEAR STRONG BAD" burned onto the side.}

STRONG BAD: "Dear Strong Bad..."

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of a fridge. He pushes a glass into the ice dispenser.}

STRONG BAD: "Dear crushed ice..."

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of the Compé. The screen says:}

Dear Strong Bad,
Do you enloy reasing?
I do two! How 'bou?
-The Tawdry Man

STRONG BAD: "Dear Strong Bad..."

{Cut back to Strong Bad at the counter. He turns away from the microwave.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, yeah! {rubs chin in thought} Computers! {He hops down from his stool} Let's go see how that old Compé is doing!

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of his computer table. The Compé appears to be buried in a huge mound of dust, with only its top-right corner poking out.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh. That is... that is some dust. {Close up of the desk. Strong Bad steps closer} Well, I'd best get to blowin'! I said a-{blows}

{A cloud of dust envelops the room. When it clears, there is a different computer, resembling the Lappy 486 and labeled "Lappier", sitting where the Compé was. The top-right corner of the Compé's monitor is balanced on the top of the Lappier for a moment, then falls with a clatter onto the desk.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! All that dust compressed my old computer into a newer, even better computer! Like coal to a diamond!

{Rear view of the Lappier. Strong Bad picks up the Compé corner.}

STRONG BAD: Ah, Compé, we hardly knew yé. Whup! {He tosses the Compé corner off to the side.}

{Cut back to the front of the Lappier. It boots up with a jingle and a 3D model resembling the Lappy logo that zooms and in rotates twice. "Lappier" appears on-screen.}

STRONG BAD: The Lappier! Just like the previous model, only crappier. I mean, more expensive. I–I mean... Lappier.

{The Lappier dings. A notice appears with the text "Today's date is April 1" and the Lappier logo.}

STRONG BAD: What?! April First?! Aw, man, I can't check my email today!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {excited} Here it comes, {Cut to wide shot. Homestar is sitting on the computer table to the right of the Lappier, knees tucked in and feet drumming on the table.} here it comes! {He stops drumming his feet} Brace myself! {He holds his breath.}

STRONG BAD: Homestar, what are you doing here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Just waiting for you to drop that A-pro Foo' Day bomb, Strong Bad! {He hops off the table} Our website always has the best pranks!

{Close up of Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Homestar, everybody knows the Internet already ruined April Fools' Day... On February 7, 2008, ironically enough.

{Close up of Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But it's the day the Internet gets on the Internet to make inside jokes about the Internet!

{Wide shot of the two of them.}

STRONG BAD: Exactly. {sarcastic} And I can't wait to be soooo fooled when {Cut to the welcome screen. Strong Bad and Homestar continue talking as voiceovers.} my favorite website looks like it's from another time period!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. Man. {A cursor enters the screen and waggles back and forth.} This looks just like one of them Flash-y cartoon websites {The cursor stops over "watch intro" and a Flash Player Settings popup appears over Homestar's face.} from 2002!

{The cursor moves to the update button and clicks a few times. It starts waggling again as Strong Bad speaks.}

STRONG BAD: No! Shut up! I haven't done it yet! Boo-da-ling...

{The welcome screen transforms into an Old-Timey version with a mechanical version of The Homestar Runner. Buttons labeled "WEB", "SITE", and "COM" appear on the bottom of the screen, while a coin slot appears on the left side of the screen. As Homestar speaks, the cursor moves to click on "WEB".}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What happened my wedsize? It's gone Old Time Jones!

{The cursor clicks on "SITE". A sign comes down from the top of the screen.}

ANIMATRONIC THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: E'erybody, e'erybody.

{Animatronic The Homestar Runner rotates counterclockwise out of the screen, and a mechanical Old Timey Strong Bad rotates into the screen in the same direction.}

ANIMATRONIC OLD TIMEY STRONG BAD: Insert one pence for tomfoolery!

{Animatronic Old Timey Strong Bad rotates back out of the screen, replaced by The Homestar Runner.}

ANIMATRONIC THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Insert a baby. {opens his mouth.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, no, I'm not falling for that prank again. {Animatronic The Homestar Runner bounces impatiently.} Strong Bad, let's move on to the next thing you're gonna make fun of.

{Cut to a green rating card.}

THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR
MORONS WITHOUT CALENDARS
BY THE FAKE TRAILER ASSOCIATION OF FREE COUNTRY USA

STRONG BAD: And don't forget all the great fake movie trailers we get to suffer through.

{As the voiceover speaks, extreme closeups of Dangeresque's sunglasses.}

VOICEOVER: Sometimes, a cruel, cruel world needs a man with cool, cool glasses.

{Shot of Dangeresque's glasses in a spotlight. The theme from Dangeresque 2, This Time It's Not Dangeresque 1 plays. Cut to two Dangeresques facing off on top of Bubs' Concession Stand, each holding a nunchuck-gun. One of them is holding his gun by the nunchuck.}

BOTH DANGERESQUES: Two Dangeresques?!

{Wider shot, now including two Dangeresque Toos. One has a mustached face drawn on his star.}

BOTH DANGERESQUE TOOS: And two Dangeresque Toos?!

{Renaldo pops up front and center.}

RENALDO: But that equals...!

{Cut to black screen. "Dangeresque" scrolls upwards in the background while a "4" scrolls approaches in the foreground.}

VOICEOVER: Dangeresque Four... {The "4" is replaced with "÷ 2"...} Divided by Two... {...followed by "= 6".} Equals Six!

{As the theme ends, the full title appears: "Dangeresque 4 ÷ 2 = 6". Cut to a closeup of Dangeresque.}

DANGERESQUE: Or did I? {"Or did I?" appears below his face. Additional I's appear as he adds} ...I, I, I, I, I? {Musical sting with a cut to a six-lens'd pair of Dangeresque sunglasses.} ...Is that— is that six?

{Cut to shot of Dangeresque and the Stunt Double as Dangeresque on top of Bubs' Concession Stand as the Stunt Double is hit by a microwave.}

STRONG SAD: Ugh!

{Cut back to Strong Bad and Homestar in the computer room.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: When's it coming out?! When's it coming out?! I gotta forward this to all my peeps on Google Buzz!

STRONG BAD: Now, hang on, we don't want to forget about the fake ads for nerd culture products that don't really exist.

{Cut to shot of Strong Sad with a Petri dish and a Q-Tip}

STRONG SAD: {inexplicably cheerful} Did someone say, "nerd cultures"? Ahh! {Strong Sad sticks the Q-Tip into his mouth and makes choking noises.}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: No!

{Cut to a commercial for "Nerd Cultch". A logo appears.}

ANNOUNCER: Burninate back-to-school {Logo fades, image of a man wearing an arm-shaped backpack enters from the right, and the words "TROGDOR BEEFY ARM BACK PACK" appear to the right of it.} with the Trogdor Beefy Arm Backpack. {Front view. Two arrows point to—} Two straps! {Another arrow points to—} One beefy arm! {Panning view of the arm, stopping on a pocket.} Secret com-pockt-ments for all your {Drawn consummate V's appear to the right of the pocket.} consummate V's. {V's are slurped up by the pocket.} And you'll look {Cut to a burning peasant sprite walking on-screen from the right.} "rather dashing" in this {Sprite is pushed off the bottom of the screen by a picture of a man wearing a zip-up hooded robe.} Burninated Peasant Zip-up Trench Hoodie.

{Images of the two items both appear on-screen.}

STRONG BAD: It's only fake, unless enough of you say you'll buy one, in which case, {A logo for Kickcheater scrolls onto the bottom of the screen, and a flashing starburst reading "PLEDGE IT OUT!" appears between the two pictures.} support my crowdfunding campaign!

{Cut back to Strong Bad and Homestar in the computer room.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I want one! Imagine me with three arms! {Wiggles his body in excitement.} Oooooooh! I gotta send this to all my Google WaveBirds!

STRONG BAD: Forget all that mess! I'm yanking April Fools' off the Internet {Close-up of Strong Bad.} and back into the real world! Where it can physically hurt people!

{Close-up of Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nobody falls for that stuff no more, Strong Bad!

{Wide shot, showing Strong Bad holding a mirror with a mustache applied to the top-center to resemble Mustached Homestar.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, Homestar! I'd like you to meet your long-lost twin brother!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chauncey! Give us a three-armed hug!

{Homestar runs into the mirror as it shatters and he falls onto the floor with shards in his face.}

STRONG BAD: Ha! April Fools'!

{Shot cuts to Strong Bad and Marzipan in the field with Marzipan having a very The Cheat-like shape in her throat}

MARZIPAN: {slightly garbled, choking} Are you sure this is gluten-free?

STRONG BAD: April Fools'!

{Shot cuts to The King of Town's table with Strong Bad and the King of Town}

STRONG BAD: Hey, King of Town, I'd like you to eat... {Holds up hand mirror in front of King of Town} your long lost twin brother.

KING OF TOWN: Okay! {King of Town takes a bite out of hand mirror}

{Cut to shot of Strong Mad and a turtle upside down in The Field}

STRONG MAD: GET ME DOWN!

STRONG BAD: {Peeks from the left side} A-tee hee.

STRONG MAD: {bouncing around a little} I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS!

STRONG BAD: {Peeks from the right side} And a-tee hee hee.

{Cut back to shot of Strong Bad as Dangeresque and Strong Sad in his stunt double outfit on top of Bubs' Concession Stand as Strong Sad is hit by a microwave.}

STRONG SAD: Ugh!

{Cut to shot of Bubs' in the field at night, looking at the Gremlin wrapped in duct tape.}

BUBS: How am I supposed to get inside my car?

{Shot zooms into the windshield as Coach Z sits up from the driver seat inside the car}

COACH Z: How am I supposed to get outside my apratment? {Coach Z places a card with the printing "Apt. Z" onto the dashboard and dances for the last 3 notes of the background music}

{Cut to the behind of the Lappier as Strong Bad is sitting at the desk}

STRONG BAD: Now, that's how you April Fools' a body. Pain and suffering. Not... inconvenient web browsing. {The Lappier plays a notification sound} Hey!

{Cut to front of the Lappier with Strong Bad's head as the Lappier displays, "Time is 12:00 am. It is now April 2"}

STRONG BAD: Look at that! Now I can check my email. All right, boxing gloves, get ready to work your inexplicable magic! {Types "strongbad_email.exe", singing} I check my email on computers, huh-HA! Uh, no toast!

{Strong Bad hits enter as a "Flash Player Settings" pop-up appears with the message "April Fools'!}

{After a few seconds, a CGI version of The Paper comes down from the top of the screen with the message ">tweet here to email strong bad @StrongBadActual".}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: C-G-eeow!

{The CGI paper begins to move and twist itself around as Strong Bad beatboxes in the background.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "Update?" at the end to access another Old-Timey-style Index Page scene.

  {Animatronic The Homestar Runner can be seen briefly, before an animatronic Old-Timey Strong Bad appears in his place.}

  ANIMATRONIC OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: {his words appear in frames as he speaks them} Olde Time Jones! Drug Filled Tonic! It's for children, you!

Fun Facts

Explanations

• A culture as Strong Sad describes it is a process for growing cells under controlled conditions.
• "Olde Time Jones Drug Filled Tonic" being marketed towards children is a reference to how children's medicines of the past contained ingredients that today would be questionable at best, including opium and cocaine.

Trivia

Someday, when you least expect it...

• Prior to the post-Flash site update, this email was listed as "sbemail206" (with no space) on the Strong Bad Email Menu.
• This email was previously teased by the now-closed Twitter account @ronginald on February 27, 2012, in a Tweet that read "Someday, when you least expect it...". Attached was part of a script which has since been changed heavily, though notably mentions that Strong Bad "starts blowing", as well as what appears to be the quotes "SB: Ah, Compay, we hardly knew ye" and "SM: GET ME DOWN!".
• This is the first Strong Bad Email to be uploaded since videography on October 5, 2009, ending its longest hiatus to date (approximately five-and-a-half years or 2,004 days); prior to the nearly-six-year gap between the shorts The Animated Adventures of Puppet Homestar and Flash is Dead! (counting Powered by The Cheat as its own category, as it was at the time), it was also the longest gap between any type of toon.
• The disk in the Floppy Disk Container reads "level 10", very likely a reference to the long-awaited tenth level of Stinkoman 20X6.
• The fake merchandise shown is worn by Matt Chapman.
• This is the first April Fools' toon:
  • To not affect the Index Page or Intro the day it was released.
  • In which April Fools' is mentioned by name.
• This is the second April Fools' toon in a row to have the index page in it (first one being April Fool 2014).
• The index page in this toon looks slightly different from the actual index page with Homestar being cut off at the bottom of his shirt, just like April Fool 2014's dilapidated index page.
• The melody heard in the background during the Trogdor Beefy Arm Back Pack segment is the same as that in the "skills of an artist" scene in dragon, which would go on to become the theme of the Skills of an Artist feature.
• When viewed in a decompiler, and fonts are changed, the Econowave says "Dear STrong Bad, When are you gonna dust off the Compe and answer an email? -Matt Macro Pika".
  • Also, in the Compé scene, under the grey cord plugged into the outlet is a beige one.
• The first Flash Player Settings popup reads:

Flash Player Settings

Your Macromedia
Shockwave Player
is out-of-great.

Update?

Remarks

• The official running time of 4:47 is exactly the same as April Fool 2014's running time.
• Before Strong Bad dusts off the Compé, its gray plug is clearly visible. However, after the Lappier is revealed, it becomes a beige plug.
• Strong Bad's pants have no reflection when Marzipan is seen with The Cheat in her throat.
• Strong Bad is able to activate the microwave without pressing the Start button.
• This is the fourth toon in a row that does not contain a back button.
• Coach Z appears as Renaldo in the Dangeresque 4 promo, despite Strong Bad’s previous claim that Renaldo dies in Dangeresque 3’s climax.
• According to the bonus email Accent, Strong Bad would have had a futuristic computer called the Zappy XT6 by the time this email was released.
• In the Flash file, between the end of the toon and the start of the Easter egg, there are 143 empty frames. Though the YouTube version has false thumbnails in this part of the toon, the blank frames occupy more time than the thumbnails and the reason for these blank frames is unknown.
• This email is also linked to on the Holiday section on the TV Time Toons Menu, and thus has two URLs: toons/sbemail-206-april-fools and sbemails/206-sbemail-206.
• Strong Bad compares the Compé being compressed into the Lappier "like coal to a diamond". Although a common misconception, coal has no significant role in the formation of diamonds.

Goofs

• When Coach Z appears as Renaldo, his arms are a paler shade of green than his body.
• During the rear-view shot of the Lappier near the end, a section of the table is missing on the bottom-right corner.
• In the preview on the TV Time Toons Menu, Bubs's arms are the same color throughout as his shadow.
• When Homestar runs into the mirror, there is a frame after the mirror has been broken where Homestar's reflection is still present.
• At the end where Strong Bad is typing his email client, his right eye is obscured by his head.

Inside References

• The email intro song appears to be a reference to that of other days, with a similar melody and reference to pockets.
• Homestar asks "What happened my wedsize?" similarly to his "What happened my website?" in The System is Down.
  • "Wedsize" follows the running gag of substituting "wed" for "web".
• The fake merchandise shown is based on the characters Trogdor and Rather Dashing.
• Homestar wants a Trogdor backpack (which includes a beefy arm) so he can have "three arms".
• Homestar mistakes his reflection for his twin brother, Chauncey.
• When Homestar breaks the mirror, he gets shards of broken glass in his face, which previously occurred in licensed.
  • The mirror shown has an appropriately placed mustache on it.
• Marzipan is standing behind a cinder block with a chalkboard reading "gluten-free concert for birds", echoing the "free concert for birds" from her eponymous email, marzipan.
• In this email, both Strong Bad and Strong Sad smile.
• The King of Town takes a bite from a mirror.
• The upside-down turtle next to Strong Mad was previously seen getting oatmeal dumped on it in new hands.
• There is another mention of Jones.
• Strong Bad was previously asked if he happens to "enloy reasing" in an Easter egg email in unused emails.
• The Dangeresque 4 promo has duplicate characters.
• "Cool, cool glasses" was a lyric from The Theme From Dangeresque II.
• The "Kickcheater" campaign includes a flashing starburst that says "PLEDGE IT OUT!".
• Com-pockt-ments is a portmanteau of "compartment" and "pocket".
• Strong Bad and Homestar Runner break the fourth wall by acknowledging that they are on a website. They also comment on its age based on the Index Page's appearance.

Real-World References

• Both Google products Homestar references had been long-discontinued by the time this toon was released.
  • Google Wave was a collaborative, real-time editing web service launched in 2009. Wave development was suspended in 2010 and the service was ended in 2012.
  • Google Buzz, a successor to Wave, was a social networking tool integrated with Google's email service. Launched in 2010, Buzz was discontinued in December 2011 and superseded by Google+.
• "Kickcheater" is a pun on the crowdfunding website Kickstarter, as well as a reference to Kicking The Cheat.
• Massapequa is a hamlet on Long Island in New York state.
• Hot Pockets are a brand of frozen food consisting of meat, cheese, and sauce inside a pastry crust. They were previously mentioned in dullard.
• The WaveBird is a wireless controller for the Nintendo GameCube.
• Fake April Fools' products becoming real based on consumer demand is a reference to ThinkGeek.
• The Lappier jingle is a reference to the 1997 Power Macintosh 6500.

Fast Forward

• Kickcheater gets used in place of Kickstarter in promotional materials for Trogdor!! The Board Game.

YouTube Version

• The YouTube version is entitled "Strong Bad Email #206 - April 1st".
• The YouTube description for this email is "Strong Bad dusts off his old computer to checka some email."
• As with the YouTube versions of Fish Eye Lens and Halloween Safety, a group of nine thumbnails appears at the end of the cartoon, parodying YouTube's related video thumbnails. Almost all of them have been reused from the previous toons; however, in the upper-left hand corner, the thumbnail of Marzipan and Pom Pom now displays Marzipan with The Cheat in her throat.
  • Marzipan's eyes blink once.
  • She has two mouths, one in the correct position and one where The Cheat's eyes should be. Both are frowning.
  • Her hair is now misaligned from her head.
• The text in the Lappier logo is resampled and appears smooth, whereas it is resized and appears pixelated in the Flash version.
• After the thumbnails, the animatronic Easter egg plays automatically.

External Links

• watch "sbemail 206"
• watch "sbemail 206" on YouTube
• watch "sbemail 206" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "sbemail 206"
• forum thread re: "sbemail 206"
• watch "sbemail 206" as linked from the Holiday menu