Pseudocharacters

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I'm hate hushpuppies.

Pseudocharacters are items in the Homestar Runner universe that at some time or another are treated (and in some cases behave) as real characters. They variously talk, move, and interact with the main characters and the audience. Most pseudocharacters are totally depicted as inanimate objects except in a handful of appearances.

Characters and their abilities

Note: this is a partial list of items identified as Pseudocharacters. For a complete list see .

The Paper

• Responds to Strong Bad's commands.
• Email animal — The Paper is shown being "scared" of the Lappy at first.
• Sick Day — Is able to get sick.
• Email retirement —
  • Translates the wishes of the Compy 386 and the Tandy 400 for Strong Bad.
  • Tells Strong Bad he likes hushpuppies.
• Email the paper —
  • Can play basketball.
  • Ties up Homestar Runner.
  • Redesigns himself as a goth or as a preppy paper.
  • Rescues Strong Bad from a deserted island.
  • Dies.
• Email email thunder —
  • Comes back from the grave to beat up New Paper.
  • Dies.

Tandy 400

• Email invisibility — Is thrown out and speaks its last words.
• Email ghosts — Haunts Strong Bad in its "ghost" form.
• Email cliffhangers — Helps the Compy 386 kidnap the Lappy 486.
• Email retirement —
  • Controls a fishing rod with a magnet on the end that causes the Lappy to enter "Teal Screen of Near Death".
  • "Speaks" with The Paper.
  • Dies again.

Compy 386

• Email couch patch — Tells Strong Bad to "cut it out" when he is trying to print out a million dollar bill.
• Email virus — Dies.
• Email cliffhangers — Helps the Tandy 400 kidnap the Lappy 486.
• Email retirement —
  • "Speaks" with The Paper.
  • Dies again.

Frank Bennedetto

• Email army —
  • The members of the Homestarmy consider him to be a real member.
  • Is a casualty of the Battle of Strong Badia (although it later transpires that he survived his injuries).
  • Has a "mother" from whom Homestar Runner tries to collect Frank's debt of five bucks.
• Email more armies — Is honored with a "memorial statue".
• Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad honors Frank Bennedetto.
• Disk 4 of 12 - FrienDendum — Strong Bad tells amusing anecdotes to Frank aboard the S.S. Totalbelow and the Toptoast Party Barge 5000 during the Annual At-Ease Weekend. Frank appears to laugh and creates popcorn as he does so.

Wagon Fulla Pancakes

• Email montage —
  • Falls in love with Strong Bad.
  • Is The Cheat's co-worker.
  • Trains for and defeats Homestar in the Champeenship.
  • Has a "spouse" and 2 children.

Lappy 486

• Appears in female form and speaks from time to time.
• Email hremail 3184 — Dies.

New Paper

• Emails the paper, concert, and bike thief — Attempts to impress Strong Bad.
• Emails the paper, mini-golf, original, and email thunder — Responds to Strong Bad's vocal commands.
• Email hremail 3184 — Dies.

Compé

• Compy Catalog — Plays a joke on Strong Bad.

F-Sack

• All appearances — Is able to talk out loud.

See Also

• Robots
• Characters#Pseudocharacters