1 step ahead

Strong Bad Email #28

watch ← 3 wishes superhero name →

"Somebody get my hands off my butt!"

Alex thinks it would be funny if Strong Sad's hands were glued to his face. Choose-your-own-venture action ensues!

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Sad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Coach Z

Places: Computer Room, The Athletic Field, Strong Sad's Room, The Field

Computer: Tandy 400

Date: Sunday, May 19, 2002

Running Time: 2:17 (all options combined)

0:37 if answered 'Yes'

0:45 if answered 'Maybe'

1:17 if answered 'Take it in a bit of a different direction'

2:21 YouTube Version

Page Title: Tandy 400!!!

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc One

SBEmail Menu Description: This one goes Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style as Strong Bad has several ideas for gluing Strong Sad's hands to his face.

Transcript

STRONG BAD: This one better be good, man. I got a lot of money riding on this one.

hello strong bad,
don't you think it would be funny if you glued
strong sad's hands to his face? I think it would be...

alex
medford, nj

STRONG BAD: {typing} I'm one step ahead of you, Alex.

{A book appears on-screen with a black-and-white picture of Strong Bad exploring a cave with a flashlight. The text reads:}

    CHOOSE YOUR OWN STRONG
      BAD EMAIL ADVENTURE

Should Strong Bad really glue Strong Sad's hands to his face?!

    If you choose YES turn to page 93

    If you choose MAYBE turn to page 121

    If you choose to TAKE IT IN A BIT OF A
    DIFFERENT DIRECTION turn to page 146

Yes

{Cut to Strong Sad standing on the Athletic Field with his hands glued to his face and a target labeled "Peg Me" painted on his chest.}

STRONG SAD: Guys?! {Strong Sad is pelted with dodgeballs.} Owww! Oh! Ohw! Augh! Okay, you guys! {Another ball is tossed at him.} Augh! It's not funny. {Another ball is tossed at him.} Augh! I'm kinda... {Another ball is tossed at him.} Augh! ...unable to defend myself. {Another 2 balls are tossed at him} Oww! Oh! More so than usual. {Balls continue to pelt him.} Oh! O-Ohw! Augh!

{The Paper comes down.}

Maybe

{Cut to Strong Sad lying down on his bed, his hands glued to his face.}

STRONG SAD: Augh! I'm blind! My prayers have finally been answered.

{Strong Sad tries to move his hands.}

STRONG SAD: Oh wait, my hands are just glued to my face. Oh well, I'll take that.

{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat standing outside Strong Sad's room.}

STRONG BAD: Oh man, he likes it! Okay, go to plan B!

{The Cheat salutes him and rummages offscreen. He pulls out a bucket of red ants and takes it into Strong Sad's room.}

{The Paper comes down. One red ant crawls out of Strong Sad's room.}

Take it in a bit of a different direction

STRONG BAD: {typing} Though I decided to take it in a bit of a different direction.

{Cut to Strong Sad standing in the Field with his hands glued to his butt. Homestar walks up to him.}

STRONG SAD: Oh, hohoh... Oh, hey, Homestar!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Er, Strong Sad. Why are you touching your buttocks? That's pretty weird.

STRONG SAD: I can't help it!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, that's really weird.

{Homestar walks away and Bubs walks up.}

STRONG SAD: No, wait, you don't understand!

BUBS: Grabbing your butt? That's not very ladylike.

STRONG SAD: I'm not a lady.

BUBS: Oh! Whatever.

{Bubs walks away and Strong Bad walks up}

STRONG SAD: Augh, this is getting frustrating!

STRONG BAD: Oh, Strong Sad. Fancy seeing you here! And uncontrollably grabbing your own butt, I see. Oh, don't let me get in the way. Carry on!

{Strong Bad snickers and walks away. Coach Z walks past.}

STRONG SAD: Please, come back!

COACH Z: 'Attaboy, Strong Sad.

{Coach Z walks away}

STRONG SAD: Hey, where are you going? You have any solvent? Or Goof Off? Or Didi Seven? Somebody get my hands off my butt!

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• If "YES" is chosen, clicking the target on Strong Sad's stomach will allow you to play the Peg Strong Sad game.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Didi Seven and Goof-Off are real-world cleaning solvents.

Trivia

• When this email was first released, the extra choices weren't available; instead it immediately progressed to the "different direction" bit (which is why it's the only choice that continues with Strong Bad still typing). The choices were added a few weeks later.
• This was, until rock opera, the only email to have an "again" option at the end, allowing for easier access to the un-selected choices.
• Taken as a whole, this was the first email to be over 2 minutes in length.
• The YouTube description for this email is "This one goes Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style as Strong Bad has several ideas for gluing Strong Sad's hands to his face."

Remarks

• The contrast knobs are still clickable when the option book comes up.

Goofs

• At the end of the "different direction" choice, The Paper comes down over the top black border.
• Throughout Strong Sad's speech in the beginning of the "Maybe" choice, background noises can be heard in the voice recording, including a thump.
• At the end of the "maybe" choice, Strong Bad's left hand is actually his right hand, upside down.

Inside References

• The Cheat tortures Strong Sad with red ants.
• Upon picking the "Different Direction" option, Coach Z will walk by and say, "Atta boy, Strong Sad!" This is a reference to Coach Z's constant habit of butt-patting.
• This is the first time "mash" is used instead of "press".

Real-World References

• This email is a reference to/satire of the Choose Your Own Adventure series of children's books created by Edward Packard, in which the reader controls the direction of the story by choosing from a number of options, and is then redirected to a page much further away.
• In the book's picture, Strong Bad is in a cave, which has nothing to do with this email, but is a classic example of the type of illustrations found in the Choose Your Own Adventure books.

Fast Forward

• In rock opera, one drawing of Anonymous Contributor (on whom Strong Sad is based) shows him with his face glued to his hands.
• In I Killed Pom Pom, Strong Sad glues his eyes shut in a similar way.

DVD Version

• When viewed in Play All, all three choices play, in this order: Yes, Maybe, and Different Direction.
• The DVD version has the Peg Strong Sad game removed.

YouTube Version

• Like in the DVD version, the endings are played in order of Yes, Maybe, and Different Direction, and the Peg Strong Sad Game is unavailable.
• After the Yes and Maybe endings, it cuts back to the selection screen.
• During the Yes ending, the numbers on the field are in Arial instead of the stencil font used in the Flash version.
• Before each ending, the relevant choice in the book flashes.
• The Paper only comes down in the Different Direction ending.

External Links

• watch "1 step ahead"
• watch "1 step ahead" on YouTube
• watch "1 step ahead" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "1 step ahead"