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'''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[the process]].''' [https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail79.html watch this toon]
'''[[HRWiki:Subtitles|HRWikiSubtitlesProject]]'''
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome.<br />It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/sbemail79/en local viewer].
 
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| '''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[the process]].''' <span class="hovul" style="font-size:smaller;background:#EEE;border:1px #999 solid;padding:2px;margin-left:6px;white-space:nowrap">[https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail79.html watch this toon]</span>
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It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/sbemail79/en local viewer].
 
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<div class="hovul" style="font-size:70%; text-align:right;">
'''en''' 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail79/de|de]] 
'''en'''  [[Subtitles:sbemail79/de|de]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail79/he|he]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail79/es|es]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail79/fr|fr]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail79/nl|nl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail79/fi|fi]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail79/pl|pl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail79/pt-br|pt-br]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail79/tr|tr]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail79/he|he]] 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail79/es|es]] 
</div>
[[Subtitles:sbemail79/fr|fr]] 
<pre>&lt;?xml version=&quot;1.0&quot; encoding=&quot;utf-8&quot;?&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail79/nl|nl]] 
&lt;transcript xml:lang=&quot;en-us&quot; file=&quot;sbemail79.swf&quot; width=&quot;550&quot; height=&quot;400&quot;&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail79/fi|fi]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;16&quot; end=&quot;84&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;(singing)&lt;/em&gt; My name is not Email Sam. Ooh ahh. So please don't call me Email Sam. Ooh ahh.&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail79/pl|pl]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;93&quot; end=&quot;106&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Dear Strong Bad,&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail79/pt-br|pt-br]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;109&quot; end=&quot;137&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;How long does it take to answer an e-mail?&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail79/tr|tr]]
  &lt;line start=&quot;138&quot; end=&quot;181&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Can you show me the prosess-sess... sess?&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;182&quot; end=&quot;195&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Em.&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;197&quot; end=&quot;209&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Em?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;210&quot; end=&quot;243&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;What's that supposed to stand for?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;244&quot; end=&quot;267&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Emerson?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;268&quot; end=&quot;296&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Embrodak?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;297&quot; end=&quot;301&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Em&lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt;tarkanderundersgunderson?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;302&quot; end=&quot;306&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Emtar&lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt;kanderundersgunderson?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;307&quot; end=&quot;309&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Emtarkan&lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt;derundersgunderson?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;310&quot; end=&quot;314&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Emtarkander&lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt;undersgunderson?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;315&quot; end=&quot;328&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Emtarkanderunders&lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt;gunderson?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;329&quot; end=&quot;347&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Emtarkanderundersgunderson?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;348&quot; end=&quot;383&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Boy, you have some stupid and terrible names.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;384&quot; end=&quot;400&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Anyways.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;401&quot; end=&quot;429&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Show you the process, eh, Em?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;430&quot; end=&quot;451&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Sure, I can do dat.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;452&quot; end=&quot;503&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;But I should warn you, it may spoil the magic for some of you out there.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;504&quot; end=&quot;581&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I strongly urge both the faint of heart and the faint of butt to leave the room at this time.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;582&quot; end=&quot;596&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;So...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;597&quot; end=&quot;652&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Usually I try to start things off with a little song that somehow involves the word email.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;653&quot; end=&quot;680&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;You know, like &quot;I'm pronouncing, email!&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;681&quot; end=&quot;729&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Or like &quot;Email, bu da ba doo dow!&quot; Something like that.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;730&quot; end=&quot;816&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Then I pull up the email I picked for this week and read it, pointing out any and all spelling or grammatical errors along the way.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;817&quot; end=&quot;874&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Then, after I make fun of your name, I begin to answer your email.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;875&quot; end=&quot;896&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Generally, I like to start with,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;897&quot; end=&quot;931&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Well, whoever, something something something.&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;932&quot; end=&quot;953&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Or occassionally I switch it up with,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;954&quot; end=&quot;987&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Something something, eh, whoever?&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;988&quot; end=&quot;1030&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Next, as I'm typing, you can usually click on certain words&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1031&quot; end=&quot;1065&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;and make little pictures of dumb stuff pop up.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1092&quot; end=&quot;1140&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Now we've reached the point where we cut away from the computer to some other scene.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1141&quot; end=&quot;1202&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;This is where some other character like Bubs or Coach Z gets a chance to shine.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1203&quot; end=&quot;1251&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;And if The Cheat's gonna make an appearance, this is usually where you'll see him.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1252&quot; end=&quot;1281&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Hey, Strong Bad! What's going on?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1282&quot; end=&quot;1329&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh, I'm just showing the guys here how I go about answering my emails.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1330&quot; end=&quot;1349&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Right on, right on.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1350&quot; end=&quot;1397&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;You gotten to the part where I tear off my shirt and start flexin',&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1398&quot; end=&quot;1428&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;much to the delight of all my ladyfans?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1429&quot; end=&quot;1450&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Uhhh... no.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1451&quot; end=&quot;1471&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;That's never happened.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1472&quot; end=&quot;1528&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;What about the part where I ride out waterskiing on two discount alligators,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1529&quot; end=&quot;1549&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;much to the delight of all my...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1550&quot; end=&quot;1583&quot;&gt;
  &lt;bubs&gt;ladyfans?&lt;/bubs&gt;
  &lt;strongbad&gt;Yeah, that's never happened either.&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1584&quot; end=&quot;1624&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Sounds like a pretty lame email show ya got here, Strong Bad.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1625&quot; end=&quot;1642&quot;&gt;
  &lt;sfx&gt;match striking&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;strongbad&gt;Whatever, man.&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1643&quot; end=&quot;1652&quot;&gt;
  &lt;sfx&gt;foosh!&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;bubs&gt;Ooh! Hot mama!&lt;/bubs&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1652&quot; end=&quot;1672&quot;&gt;
  &lt;sfx&gt;crackling&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;bubs&gt;Ooh! Hot mama!&lt;/bubs&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1673&quot; end=&quot;1700&quot;&gt;
  &lt;bubs&gt;YEEOW! Hot bees!&lt;/bubs&gt;
  &lt;sfx&gt;buzzing&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;sfx&gt;crackling&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1710&quot; end=&quot;1715&quot; sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;geddup noise&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1715&quot; end=&quot;1734&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Then we cut back to the computer,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1735&quot; end=&quot;1771&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;where I either wrap things up or wind things down,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1772&quot; end=&quot;1784&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;depending on how funny the last part was.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1805&quot; end=&quot;1822&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;And that's it, Em.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1823&quot; end=&quot;1850&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;That's how we do things around here.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1851&quot; end=&quot;1897&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Now you can answer emails like a true Strong Bad.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1897&quot; end=&quot;1923&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Then right before the paper comes down,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1924&quot; end=&quot;1957&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I usually mutter something... &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1958&quot; end=&quot;1989&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;under my breath...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1990&quot; end=&quot;2021&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;about some girl named Beth.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2022&quot; end=&quot;2036&quot; speaker=&quot;thepaper&quot;&gt;Preeeeow!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2188&quot; end=&quot;2231&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Then sometimes, if you wait around for 10 or 15 seconds,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2232&quot; end=&quot;2251&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;something else happens.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2252&quot; end=&quot;2302&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;You mean like me showing up to deliver a classic line?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2303&quot; end=&quot;2312&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;No,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2313&quot; end=&quot;2352&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I mean like me throwing a discount brick at you.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2353&quot; end=&quot;2362&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;fling&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2363&quot; end=&quot;2404&quot;&gt;
  &lt;sfx&gt;crash!&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;homestar&gt;Ohhh, discount brick!&lt;/homestar&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2414&quot; end=&quot;2426&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;radio tuning noise&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2427&quot; end=&quot;2456&quot; speaker=&quot;announcer&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Come on down to Discount Alligator.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2457&quot; end=&quot;2476&quot; speaker=&quot;announcer&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Have we got a deal for you.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2477&quot; end=&quot;2508&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Open 7 days a week. Take interstate side to Exit Porter-B.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2509&quot; end=&quot;2523&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;One mile south of Grandma Road.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2524&quot; end=&quot;2544&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Kids get in free. Don't laugh at my bald spot.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2545&quot; end=&quot;2565&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;radio tuning noise&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;/transcript&gt;</pre>
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[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">[[Category:English Subtitles|English Subtitles]]</span>
 
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</div>
<pre>
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail79.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="84" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing)</em> My name is not Email Sam. Ooh ahh. So please don't call me Email Sam. Ooh ahh.</line>
  <line start="93" end="106" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,"</line>
  <line start="109" end="137" speaker="strongbad">"How long does it take to answer an e-mail?"</line>
  <line start="138" end="181" speaker="strongbad">"Can you show me the prosess-sess... sess?"</line>
  <line start="182" end="195" speaker="strongbad">"Em."</line>
  <line start="197" end="209" speaker="strongbad">Em?</line>
  <line start="210" end="243" speaker="strongbad">What's that supposed to stand for?</line>
  <line start="244" end="267" speaker="strongbad">Emerson?</line>
  <line start="268" end="296" speaker="strongbad">Embrodak?</line>
  <line start="297" end="301" speaker="strongbad">Em<span style="visibility:hidden">tarkanderundersgunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="302" end="306" speaker="strongbad">Emtar<span style="visibility:hidden">kanderundersgunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="307" end="309" speaker="strongbad">Emtarkan<span style="visibility:hidden">derundersgunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="310" end="314" speaker="strongbad">Emtarkander<span style="visibility:hidden">undersgunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="315" end="328" speaker="strongbad">Emtarkanderunders<span style="visibility:hidden">gunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="329" end="347" speaker="strongbad">Emtarkanderundersgunderson?</line>
  <line start="348" end="383" speaker="strongbad">Boy, you have some stupid and terrible names.</line>
  <line start="384" end="400" speaker="strongbad">Anyways.</line>
  <line start="401" end="429" speaker="strongbad">Show you the process, eh, Em?</line>
  <line start="430" end="451" speaker="strongbad">Sure, I can do dat.</line>
  <line start="452" end="503" speaker="strongbad">But I should warn you, it may spoil the magic for some of you out there.</line>
  <line start="504" end="581" speaker="strongbad">I strongly urge both the faint of heart and the faint of butt to leave the room at this time.</line>
  <line start="582" end="596" speaker="strongbad">So...</line>
  <line start="597" end="652" speaker="strongbad">Usually I try to start things off with a little song that somehow involves the word email.</line>
  <line start="653" end="680" speaker="strongbad">You know, like "I'm pronouncing, email!"</line>
  <line start="681" end="729" speaker="strongbad">Or like "Email, bu da ba doo dow!" Something like that.</line>
  <line start="730" end="816" speaker="strongbad">Then I pull up the email I picked for this week and read it, pointing out any and all spelling or grammatical errors along the way.</line>
  <line start="817" end="874" speaker="strongbad">Then, after I make fun of your name, I begin to answer your email.</line>
  <line start="875" end="896" speaker="strongbad">Generally, I like to start with,</line>
  <line start="897" end="931" speaker="strongbad">"Well, whoever, something something something."</line>
  <line start="932" end="953" speaker="strongbad">Or occassionally I switch it up with,</line>
  <line start="954" end="987" speaker="strongbad">"Something something, eh, whoever?"</line>
  <line start="988" end="1030" speaker="strongbad">Next, as I'm typing, you can usually click on certain words</line>
  <line start="1031" end="1065" speaker="strongbad">and make little pictures of dumb stuff pop up.</line>
  <line start="1092" end="1140" speaker="strongbad">Now we've reached the point where we cut away from the computer to some other scene.</line>
  <line start="1141" end="1202" speaker="strongbad">This is where some other character like Bubs or Coach Z gets a chance to shine.</line>
  <line start="1203" end="1251" speaker="strongbad">And if The Cheat's gonna make an appearance, this is usually where you'll see him.</line>
  <line start="1252" end="1281" speaker="bubs">Hey, Strong Bad! What's going on?</line>
  <line start="1282" end="1329" speaker="strongbad">Oh, I'm just showing the guys here how I go about answering my emails.</line>
  <line start="1330" end="1349" speaker="bubs">Right on, right on.</line>
  <line start="1350" end="1397" speaker="bubs">You gotten to the part where I tear off my shirt and start flexin',</line>
  <line start="1398" end="1428" speaker="bubs">much to the delight of all my ladyfans?</line>
  <line start="1429" end="1450" speaker="strongbad">Uhhh... no.</line>
  <line start="1451" end="1471" speaker="strongbad">That's never happened.</line>
  <line start="1472" end="1528" speaker="bubs">What about the part where I ride out waterskiing on two discount alligators,</line>
  <line start="1529" end="1549" speaker="bubs">much to the delight of all my...</line>
  <line start="1550" end="1583">
  <bubs>ladyfans?</bubs>
  <strongbad>Yeah, that's never happened either.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1584" end="1624" speaker="bubs">Sounds like a pretty lame email show ya got here, Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1625" end="1642">
  <sfx>match striking</sfx>
  <strongbad>Whatever, man.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1643" end="1652">
  <sfx>foosh!</sfx>
  <bubs>Ooh! Hot mama!</bubs></line>
  <line start="1652" end="1672">
  <sfx>crackling</sfx>
  <bubs>Ooh! Hot mama!</bubs></line>
  <line start="1673" end="1700">
  <bubs>YEEOW! Hot bees!</bubs>
  <sfx>buzzing</sfx>
  <sfx>crackling</sfx></line>
  <line start="1710" end="1715" sfx="sfx">geddup noise</line>
  <line start="1715" end="1734" speaker="strongbad">Then we cut back to the computer,</line>
  <line start="1735" end="1771" speaker="strongbad">where I either wrap things up or wind things down,</line>
  <line start="1772" end="1784" speaker="strongbad">depending on how funny the last part was.</line>
  <line start="1805" end="1822" speaker="strongbad">And that's it, Em.</line>
  <line start="1823" end="1850" speaker="strongbad">That's how we do things around here.</line>
  <line start="1851" end="1897" speaker="strongbad">Now you can answer emails like a true Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1897" end="1923" speaker="strongbad">Then right before the paper comes down,</line>
  <line start="1924" end="1957" speaker="strongbad">I usually mutter something... </line>
  <line start="1958" end="1989" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.9">under my breath...</line>
  <line start="1990" end="2021" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.9">about some girl named Beth.</line>
  <line start="2022" end="2036" speaker="thepaper">Preeeeow!</line>
  <line start="2188" end="2231" speaker="strongbad">Then sometimes, if you wait around for 10 or 15 seconds,</line>
  <line start="2232" end="2251" speaker="strongbad">something else happens.</line>
  <line start="2252" end="2302" speaker="homestar">You mean like me showing up to deliver a classic line?</line>
  <line start="2303" end="2312" speaker="strongbad">No,</line>
  <line start="2313" end="2352" speaker="strongbad">I mean like me throwing a discount brick at you.</line>
  <line start="2353" end="2362" speaker="sfx">fling</line>
  <line start="2363" end="2404">
  <sfx>crash!</sfx>
  <homestar>Ohhh, discount brick!</homestar></line>
  <line start="2414" end="2426" speaker="sfx">radio tuning noise</line>
  <line start="2427" end="2456" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Come on down to Discount Alligator.</line>
  <line start="2457" end="2476" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Have we got a deal for you.</line>
  <line start="2477" end="2508" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Open 7 days a week. Take interstate side to Exit Porter-B.</line>
  <line start="2509" end="2523" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">One mile south of Grandma Road.</line>
  <line start="2524" end="2544" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Kids get in free. Don't laugh at my bald spot.</line>
  <line start="2545" end="2565" speaker="sfx">radio tuning noise</line>
</transcript>
</pre>
[[Category:English Subtitles]]


Latest revision as of 14:24, 14 July 2026

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail79.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="84" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing)</em> My name is not Email Sam. Ooh ahh. So please don't call me Email Sam. Ooh ahh.</line>
  <line start="93" end="106" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,"</line>
  <line start="109" end="137" speaker="strongbad">"How long does it take to answer an e-mail?"</line>
  <line start="138" end="181" speaker="strongbad">"Can you show me the prosess-sess... sess?"</line>
  <line start="182" end="195" speaker="strongbad">"Em."</line>
  <line start="197" end="209" speaker="strongbad">Em?</line>
  <line start="210" end="243" speaker="strongbad">What's that supposed to stand for?</line>
  <line start="244" end="267" speaker="strongbad">Emerson?</line>
  <line start="268" end="296" speaker="strongbad">Embrodak?</line>
  <line start="297" end="301" speaker="strongbad">Em<span style="visibility:hidden">tarkanderundersgunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="302" end="306" speaker="strongbad">Emtar<span style="visibility:hidden">kanderundersgunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="307" end="309" speaker="strongbad">Emtarkan<span style="visibility:hidden">derundersgunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="310" end="314" speaker="strongbad">Emtarkander<span style="visibility:hidden">undersgunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="315" end="328" speaker="strongbad">Emtarkanderunders<span style="visibility:hidden">gunderson?</span></line>
  <line start="329" end="347" speaker="strongbad">Emtarkanderundersgunderson?</line>
  <line start="348" end="383" speaker="strongbad">Boy, you have some stupid and terrible names.</line>
  <line start="384" end="400" speaker="strongbad">Anyways.</line>
  <line start="401" end="429" speaker="strongbad">Show you the process, eh, Em?</line>
  <line start="430" end="451" speaker="strongbad">Sure, I can do dat.</line>
  <line start="452" end="503" speaker="strongbad">But I should warn you, it may spoil the magic for some of you out there.</line>
  <line start="504" end="581" speaker="strongbad">I strongly urge both the faint of heart and the faint of butt to leave the room at this time.</line>
  <line start="582" end="596" speaker="strongbad">So...</line>
  <line start="597" end="652" speaker="strongbad">Usually I try to start things off with a little song that somehow involves the word email.</line>
  <line start="653" end="680" speaker="strongbad">You know, like "I'm pronouncing, email!"</line>
  <line start="681" end="729" speaker="strongbad">Or like "Email, bu da ba doo dow!" Something like that.</line>
  <line start="730" end="816" speaker="strongbad">Then I pull up the email I picked for this week and read it, pointing out any and all spelling or grammatical errors along the way.</line>
  <line start="817" end="874" speaker="strongbad">Then, after I make fun of your name, I begin to answer your email.</line>
  <line start="875" end="896" speaker="strongbad">Generally, I like to start with,</line>
  <line start="897" end="931" speaker="strongbad">"Well, whoever, something something something."</line>
  <line start="932" end="953" speaker="strongbad">Or occassionally I switch it up with,</line>
  <line start="954" end="987" speaker="strongbad">"Something something, eh, whoever?"</line>
  <line start="988" end="1030" speaker="strongbad">Next, as I'm typing, you can usually click on certain words</line>
  <line start="1031" end="1065" speaker="strongbad">and make little pictures of dumb stuff pop up.</line>
  <line start="1092" end="1140" speaker="strongbad">Now we've reached the point where we cut away from the computer to some other scene.</line>
  <line start="1141" end="1202" speaker="strongbad">This is where some other character like Bubs or Coach Z gets a chance to shine.</line>
  <line start="1203" end="1251" speaker="strongbad">And if The Cheat's gonna make an appearance, this is usually where you'll see him.</line>
  <line start="1252" end="1281" speaker="bubs">Hey, Strong Bad! What's going on?</line>
  <line start="1282" end="1329" speaker="strongbad">Oh, I'm just showing the guys here how I go about answering my emails.</line>
  <line start="1330" end="1349" speaker="bubs">Right on, right on.</line>
  <line start="1350" end="1397" speaker="bubs">You gotten to the part where I tear off my shirt and start flexin',</line>
  <line start="1398" end="1428" speaker="bubs">much to the delight of all my ladyfans?</line>
  <line start="1429" end="1450" speaker="strongbad">Uhhh... no.</line>
  <line start="1451" end="1471" speaker="strongbad">That's never happened.</line>
  <line start="1472" end="1528" speaker="bubs">What about the part where I ride out waterskiing on two discount alligators,</line>
  <line start="1529" end="1549" speaker="bubs">much to the delight of all my...</line>
  <line start="1550" end="1583">
  <bubs>ladyfans?</bubs>
  <strongbad>Yeah, that's never happened either.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1584" end="1624" speaker="bubs">Sounds like a pretty lame email show ya got here, Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1625" end="1642">
  <sfx>match striking</sfx>
  <strongbad>Whatever, man.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1643" end="1652">
  <sfx>foosh!</sfx>
  <bubs>Ooh! Hot mama!</bubs></line>
  <line start="1652" end="1672">
  <sfx>crackling</sfx>
  <bubs>Ooh! Hot mama!</bubs></line>
  <line start="1673" end="1700">
  <bubs>YEEOW! Hot bees!</bubs>
  <sfx>buzzing</sfx>
  <sfx>crackling</sfx></line>
  <line start="1710" end="1715" sfx="sfx">geddup noise</line>
  <line start="1715" end="1734" speaker="strongbad">Then we cut back to the computer,</line>
  <line start="1735" end="1771" speaker="strongbad">where I either wrap things up or wind things down,</line>
  <line start="1772" end="1784" speaker="strongbad">depending on how funny the last part was.</line>
  <line start="1805" end="1822" speaker="strongbad">And that's it, Em.</line>
  <line start="1823" end="1850" speaker="strongbad">That's how we do things around here.</line>
  <line start="1851" end="1897" speaker="strongbad">Now you can answer emails like a true Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1897" end="1923" speaker="strongbad">Then right before the paper comes down,</line>
  <line start="1924" end="1957" speaker="strongbad">I usually mutter something... </line>
  <line start="1958" end="1989" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.9">under my breath...</line>
  <line start="1990" end="2021" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.9">about some girl named Beth.</line>
  <line start="2022" end="2036" speaker="thepaper">Preeeeow!</line>
  <line start="2188" end="2231" speaker="strongbad">Then sometimes, if you wait around for 10 or 15 seconds,</line>
  <line start="2232" end="2251" speaker="strongbad">something else happens.</line>
  <line start="2252" end="2302" speaker="homestar">You mean like me showing up to deliver a classic line?</line>
  <line start="2303" end="2312" speaker="strongbad">No,</line>
  <line start="2313" end="2352" speaker="strongbad">I mean like me throwing a discount brick at you.</line>
  <line start="2353" end="2362" speaker="sfx">fling</line>
  <line start="2363" end="2404">
  <sfx>crash!</sfx>
  <homestar>Ohhh, discount brick!</homestar></line>
  <line start="2414" end="2426" speaker="sfx">radio tuning noise</line>
  <line start="2427" end="2456" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Come on down to Discount Alligator.</line>
  <line start="2457" end="2476" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Have we got a deal for you.</line>
  <line start="2477" end="2508" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Open 7 days a week. Take interstate side to Exit Porter-B.</line>
  <line start="2509" end="2523" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">One mile south of Grandma Road.</line>
  <line start="2524" end="2544" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Kids get in free. Don't laugh at my bald spot.</line>
  <line start="2545" end="2565" speaker="sfx">radio tuning noise</line>
</transcript>
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