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| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/4/41/Subtitles_Project_Logo.png/80px-Subtitles_Project_Logo.png'''WM0'''
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'''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[rated]].''' [https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail193.html watch this toon]
'''[[HRWiki:Subtitles|HRWikiSubtitlesProject]]'''
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome.<br />It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/sbemail193/en local viewer].
 
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| '''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[rated]].''' <span class="hovul" style="font-size:smaller;background:#EEE;border:1px #999 solid;padding:2px;margin-left:6px;white-space:nowrap">[https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail193.html watch this toon]</span>
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To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome.<br />
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/sbemail193/en local viewer].
 
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<div class="hovul" style="font-size:70%; text-align:right;">
'''en''' 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail193/de|de]] 
'''en'''  [[Subtitles:sbemail193/de|de]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail193/he|he]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail193/es|es]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail193/fr|fr]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail193/nl|nl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail193/fi|fi]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail193/pl|pl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail193/pt-br|pt-br]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail193/tr|tr]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail193/he|he]] 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail193/es|es]] 
</div>
[[Subtitles:sbemail193/fr|fr]] 
<pre>&lt;?xml version=&quot;1.0&quot; encoding=&quot;utf-8&quot;?&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail193/nl|nl]] 
&lt;transcript xml:lang=&quot;en-us&quot; file=&quot;sbemail193.swf&quot; width=&quot;550&quot; height=&quot;400&quot;&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail193/fi|fi]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;16&quot; end=&quot;76&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&lt;em&gt;(singing)&lt;/em&gt; My email is a cell phone, no it's not! My email is a CAR-phone! That's right.&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail193/pl|pl]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;83&quot; end=&quot;93&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Dear Strong Bad,&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail193/pt-br|pt-br]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;94&quot; end=&quot;143&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;What is your favorite movie, and why? And where, if applicable.&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail193/tr|tr]]
  &lt;line start=&quot;144&quot; end=&quot;179&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Sincerely, L. Eftformat&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;180&quot; end=&quot;229&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh, think you're pretty clever, eh? E-email cummings&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;244&quot; end=&quot;300&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I don't have a favorite movie, but I do have a favorite genre of movies.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;301&quot; end=&quot;323&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;R-rated movies!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;324&quot; end=&quot;355&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;A-can I get a 'restricted'? &lt;em&gt;(ending on high pitch)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;356&quot; end=&quot;368&quot; speaker=&quot;strongsad&quot;&gt;A-restricted!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;369&quot; end=&quot;380&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Not from you!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;381&quot; end=&quot;424&quot; speaker=&quot;strongsad&quot;&gt;Aww, I've been waitin' three days to do that.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;425&quot; end=&quot;495&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;The only thing better than R-rated movies are double and triple R-rated movies!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;496&quot; end=&quot;526&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Let me break down the subtle differences for you.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;527&quot; end=&quot;581&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;In an R-rated movie, the good guy only blows people up in self-defense.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;582&quot; end=&quot;623&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;But double R-rated movies are allowed to blur the line!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;624&quot; end=&quot;738&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Man, I saw this one double R-rated movie, where the good guy stepped on this rabbit, and he didn't kill it, but then later on in the movie, he wished he did!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;739&quot; end=&quot;755&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;The GOOD GUY!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;756&quot; end=&quot;803&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;That's messed up, man! You can't let kids watch that kind of thing!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;804&quot; end=&quot;880&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Then in triple R-rated movies, you can show bullets go all the way through people!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;881&quot; end=&quot;946&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;In the front, through their guts and organs and breakfast and RIGHT OUT the BACK!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;947&quot; end=&quot;968&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;That is nasty, man!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;969&quot; end=&quot;1022&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;There's some triple R-rated stuff out there that even &lt;em&gt;I&lt;/em&gt; can't stomach.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1023&quot; end=&quot;1054&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Only three have ever been made:&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1055&quot; end=&quot;1095&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;'Women's Penitentiary Bakesale Nightmare,'&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1096&quot; end=&quot;1131&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;'The Fists of Knuckles' series,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1132&quot; end=&quot;1145&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1146&quot; end=&quot;1159&quot;&gt;&lt;strongbad&gt;and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;creepy music&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1160&quot; end=&quot;1178&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1179&quot; end=&quot;1199&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;creepy music&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1200&quot; end=&quot;1276&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;They even banned those movies in Transylvania, where you're required by law to eat puppies for breakfast.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1277&quot; end=&quot;1303&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;And even if a theater were showing it,&lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt; which ours conveniently is, you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1304&quot; end=&quot;1321&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;And even if a theater were showing it, which ours conveniently is,&lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt; you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1322&quot; end=&quot;1373&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;And even if a theater were showing it, which ours conveniently is, you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1410&quot; end=&quot;1430&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Ow, my pension.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1431&quot; end=&quot;1452&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh, hello, my good man.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1453&quot; end=&quot;1514&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Just taking my two sons, here, who are home from college, to see their first triple R-rated movie.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1515&quot; end=&quot;1553&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot;&gt;Hey, Pop, can I borrow the Vorlvo?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1554&quot; end=&quot;1585&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Dad, Trina and I are moving in together.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1586&quot; end=&quot;1605&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I'll deal with you two later!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1606&quot; end=&quot;1668&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Heh heh. Kids that are old enough for me to be in my sixties. What're you gonna do?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1669&quot; end=&quot;1732&quot; speaker=&quot;cardgage&quot;&gt;I'm sorry, Bridget, but can I steep some identificaption?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1733&quot; end=&quot;1826&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Uh, I seem to have left my identificaption in my other, older, and more professional briefcase...uh...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1827&quot; end=&quot;1885&quot; speaker=&quot;cardgage&quot;&gt;Soggy, Junior. Come back when you're all grold up.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1910&quot; end=&quot;1945&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Man, I told you that lame-brained plan wouldn't work.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1946&quot; end=&quot;1972&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;We shoulda been &lt;em&gt;your&lt;/em&gt; parents.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1973&quot; end=&quot;2031&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;What? I'm way too good looking for anyone to believe that I'm you guys' kid.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2032&quot; end=&quot;2067&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;And Coach Z only &lt;em&gt;kinda&lt;/em&gt; looks like my mom.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2068&quot; end=&quot;2104&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot;&gt;Hey, thanks! You want I should shave my legs?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2109&quot; end=&quot;2116&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Ignoring that.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2117&quot; end=&quot;2160&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Well, it looks like there's only one thing left to do.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2169&quot; end=&quot;2234&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Ah, nothing like watching lowercase r-rated movies on scrambled cable.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2235&quot; end=&quot;2254&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot;&gt;Stop eating glass!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2255&quot; end=&quot;2282&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;I think I just saw a puppy get eaten!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2283&quot; end=&quot;2299&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot;&gt;Cakey blood.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2300&quot; end=&quot;2332&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;That is one luuurid bake sale.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2333&quot; end=&quot;2362&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot;&gt;Real gross wound.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2363&quot; end=&quot;2394&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Ewww. Look at all that breakfast.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2395&quot; end=&quot;2415&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot;&gt;Broken skull puncture!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2416&quot; end=&quot;2449&quot; speaker=&quot;newpaper&quot; sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;shuffling noises&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2450&quot; end=&quot;2480&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot;&gt;Two underwears.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2495&quot; end=&quot;2549&quot; speaker=&quot;strongsad&quot;&gt;Just a couple more days, I swear! He's waaaaaay overdue!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2563&quot; end=&quot;2642&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;They even banned those movies in Transylvania, where you're required by law to eat puppies for breakfast!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2650&quot; end=&quot;2720&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Poopsmith, pack-a my bags! And don't forget my plastic fangs!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;/transcript&gt;</pre>
<div id="catlinks" class="catlinks">
 
<div id="mw-normal-catlinks">
 
[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">[[Category:English Subtitles|English Subtitles]]</span>
 
</div>


</div>
<pre>
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail193.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="76" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing)</em> My email is a cell phone, no it's not! My email is a CAR-phone! That's right.</line>
  <line start="83" end="93" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,</line>
  <line start="94" end="143" speaker="strongbad">"What is your favorite movie, and why? And where, if applicable.</line>
  <line start="144" end="179" speaker="strongbad">"Sincerely, L. Eftformat"</line>
  <line start="180" end="229" speaker="strongbad">Oh, think you're pretty clever, eh? E-email cummings</line>
  <line start="244" end="300" speaker="strongbad">I don't have a favorite movie, but I do have a favorite genre of movies.</line>
  <line start="301" end="323" speaker="strongbad">R-rated movies!</line>
  <line start="324" end="355" speaker="strongbad">A-can I get a 'restricted'? <em>(ending on high pitch)</em></line>
  <line start="356" end="368" speaker="strongsad">A-restricted!</line>
  <line start="369" end="380" speaker="strongbad">Not from you!</line>
  <line start="381" end="424" speaker="strongsad">Aww, I've been waitin' three days to do that.</line>
  <line start="425" end="495" speaker="strongbad">The only thing better than R-rated movies are double and triple R-rated movies!</line>
  <line start="496" end="526" speaker="strongbad">Let me break down the subtle differences for you.</line>
  <line start="527" end="581" speaker="strongbad">In an R-rated movie, the good guy only blows people up in self-defense.</line>
  <line start="582" end="623" speaker="strongbad">But double R-rated movies are allowed to blur the line!</line>
  <line start="624" end="738" speaker="strongbad">Man, I saw this one double R-rated movie, where the good guy stepped on this rabbit, and he didn't kill it, but then later on in the movie, he wished he did!</line>
  <line start="739" end="755" speaker="strongbad">The GOOD GUY!</line>
  <line start="756" end="803" speaker="strongbad">That's messed up, man! You can't let kids watch that kind of thing!</line>
  <line start="804" end="880" speaker="strongbad">Then in triple R-rated movies, you can show bullets go all the way through people!</line>
  <line start="881" end="946" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">In the front, through their guts and organs and breakfast and RIGHT OUT the BACK!</line>
  <line start="947" end="968" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">That is nasty, man!</line>
  <line start="969" end="1022" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">There's some triple R-rated stuff out there that even <em>I</em> can't stomach.</line>
  <line start="1023" end="1054" speaker="strongbad">Only three have ever been made:</line>
  <line start="1055" end="1095" speaker="strongbad">'Women's Penitentiary Bakesale Nightmare,'</line>
  <line start="1096" end="1131" speaker="strongbad">'The Fists of Knuckles' series,</line>
  <line start="1132" end="1145" speaker="strongbad">and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'</line>
  <line start="1146" end="1159"><strongbad>and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'</strongbad><sfx>creepy music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1160" end="1178" speaker="strongbad">and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'</line>
  <line start="1179" end="1199" speaker="sfx">creepy music</line>
  <line start="1200" end="1276" speaker="strongbad">They even banned those movies in Transylvania, where you're required by law to eat puppies for breakfast.</line>
  <line start="1277" end="1303" speaker="strongbad">And even if a theater were showing it,<span style="visibility:hidden"> which ours conveniently is, you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.</span></line>
  <line start="1304" end="1321" speaker="strongbad">And even if a theater were showing it, which ours conveniently is,<span style="visibility:hidden"> you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.</span></line>
  <line start="1322" end="1373" speaker="strongbad">And even if a theater were showing it, which ours conveniently is, you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.</line>
  <line start="1410" end="1430" speaker="strongbad">Ow, my pension.</line>
  <line start="1431" end="1452" speaker="strongbad">Oh, hello, my good man.</line>
  <line start="1453" end="1514" speaker="strongbad">Just taking my two sons, here, who are home from college, to see their first triple R-rated movie.</line>
  <line start="1515" end="1553" speaker="coachz">Hey, Pop, can I borrow the Vorlvo?</line>
  <line start="1554" end="1585" speaker="bubs">Dad, Trina and I are moving in together.</line>
  <line start="1586" end="1605" speaker="strongbad">I'll deal with you two later!</line>
  <line start="1606" end="1668" speaker="strongbad">Heh heh. Kids that are old enough for me to be in my sixties. What're you gonna do?</line>
  <line start="1669" end="1732" speaker="cardgage">I'm sorry, Bridget, but can I steep some identificaption?</line>
  <line start="1733" end="1826" speaker="strongbad">Uh, I seem to have left my identificaption in my other, older, and more professional briefcase...uh...</line>
  <line start="1827" end="1885" speaker="cardgage">Soggy, Junior. Come back when you're all grold up.</line>
  <line start="1910" end="1945" speaker="bubs">Man, I told you that lame-brained plan wouldn't work.</line>
  <line start="1946" end="1972" speaker="bubs">We shoulda been <em>your</em> parents.</line>
  <line start="1973" end="2031" speaker="strongbad">What? I'm way too good looking for anyone to believe that I'm you guys' kid.</line>
  <line start="2032" end="2067" speaker="strongbad">And Coach Z only <em>kinda</em> looks like my mom.</line>
  <line start="2068" end="2104" speaker="coachz">Hey, thanks! You want I should shave my legs?</line>
  <line start="2109" end="2116" speaker="strongbad">Ignoring that.</line>
  <line start="2117" end="2160" speaker="strongbad">Well, it looks like there's only one thing left to do.</line>
  <line start="2169" end="2234" speaker="strongbad">Ah, nothing like watching lowercase r-rated movies on scrambled cable.</line>
  <line start="2235" end="2254" speaker="other">Stop eating glass!</line>
  <line start="2255" end="2282" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I think I just saw a puppy get eaten!</line>
  <line start="2283" end="2299" speaker="other">Cakey blood.</line>
  <line start="2300" end="2332" speaker="bubs" voiceover="voiceover">That is one luuurid bake sale.</line>
  <line start="2333" end="2362" speaker="other">Real gross wound.</line>
  <line start="2363" end="2394" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Ewww. Look at all that breakfast.</line>
  <line start="2395" end="2415" speaker="other">Broken skull puncture!</line>
  <line start="2416" end="2449" speaker="newpaper" sfx="sfx">shuffling noises</line>
  <line start="2450" end="2480" speaker="other">Two underwears.</line>
  <line start="2495" end="2549" speaker="strongsad">Just a couple more days, I swear! He's waaaaaay overdue!</line>
  <line start="2563" end="2642" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">They even banned those movies in Transylvania, where you're required by law to eat puppies for breakfast!</line>
  <line start="2650" end="2720" speaker="kingoftown">Poopsmith, pack-a my bags! And don't forget my plastic fangs!</line>
</transcript>
</pre>
[[Category:English Subtitles]]



Latest revision as of 14:24, 14 July 2026

80px-Subtitles_Project_Logo.pngWM0

These are the English subtitles for rated. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome.
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

en  de  he  es  fr  nl  fi  pl  pt-br  tr

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail193.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="76" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing)</em> My email is a cell phone, no it's not! My email is a CAR-phone! That's right.</line>
  <line start="83" end="93" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,</line>
  <line start="94" end="143" speaker="strongbad">"What is your favorite movie, and why? And where, if applicable.</line>
  <line start="144" end="179" speaker="strongbad">"Sincerely, L. Eftformat"</line>
  <line start="180" end="229" speaker="strongbad">Oh, think you're pretty clever, eh? E-email cummings</line>
  <line start="244" end="300" speaker="strongbad">I don't have a favorite movie, but I do have a favorite genre of movies.</line>
  <line start="301" end="323" speaker="strongbad">R-rated movies!</line>
  <line start="324" end="355" speaker="strongbad">A-can I get a 'restricted'? <em>(ending on high pitch)</em></line>
  <line start="356" end="368" speaker="strongsad">A-restricted!</line>
  <line start="369" end="380" speaker="strongbad">Not from you!</line>
  <line start="381" end="424" speaker="strongsad">Aww, I've been waitin' three days to do that.</line>
  <line start="425" end="495" speaker="strongbad">The only thing better than R-rated movies are double and triple R-rated movies!</line>
  <line start="496" end="526" speaker="strongbad">Let me break down the subtle differences for you.</line>
  <line start="527" end="581" speaker="strongbad">In an R-rated movie, the good guy only blows people up in self-defense.</line>
  <line start="582" end="623" speaker="strongbad">But double R-rated movies are allowed to blur the line!</line>
  <line start="624" end="738" speaker="strongbad">Man, I saw this one double R-rated movie, where the good guy stepped on this rabbit, and he didn't kill it, but then later on in the movie, he wished he did!</line>
  <line start="739" end="755" speaker="strongbad">The GOOD GUY!</line>
  <line start="756" end="803" speaker="strongbad">That's messed up, man! You can't let kids watch that kind of thing!</line>
  <line start="804" end="880" speaker="strongbad">Then in triple R-rated movies, you can show bullets go all the way through people!</line>
  <line start="881" end="946" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">In the front, through their guts and organs and breakfast and RIGHT OUT the BACK!</line>
  <line start="947" end="968" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">That is nasty, man!</line>
  <line start="969" end="1022" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">There's some triple R-rated stuff out there that even <em>I</em> can't stomach.</line>
  <line start="1023" end="1054" speaker="strongbad">Only three have ever been made:</line>
  <line start="1055" end="1095" speaker="strongbad">'Women's Penitentiary Bakesale Nightmare,'</line>
  <line start="1096" end="1131" speaker="strongbad">'The Fists of Knuckles' series,</line>
  <line start="1132" end="1145" speaker="strongbad">and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'</line>
  <line start="1146" end="1159"><strongbad>and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'</strongbad><sfx>creepy music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1160" end="1178" speaker="strongbad">and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'</line>
  <line start="1179" end="1199" speaker="sfx">creepy music</line>
  <line start="1200" end="1276" speaker="strongbad">They even banned those movies in Transylvania, where you're required by law to eat puppies for breakfast.</line>
  <line start="1277" end="1303" speaker="strongbad">And even if a theater were showing it,<span style="visibility:hidden"> which ours conveniently is, you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.</span></line>
  <line start="1304" end="1321" speaker="strongbad">And even if a theater were showing it, which ours conveniently is,<span style="visibility:hidden"> you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.</span></line>
  <line start="1322" end="1373" speaker="strongbad">And even if a theater were showing it, which ours conveniently is, you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.</line>
  <line start="1410" end="1430" speaker="strongbad">Ow, my pension.</line>
  <line start="1431" end="1452" speaker="strongbad">Oh, hello, my good man.</line>
  <line start="1453" end="1514" speaker="strongbad">Just taking my two sons, here, who are home from college, to see their first triple R-rated movie.</line>
  <line start="1515" end="1553" speaker="coachz">Hey, Pop, can I borrow the Vorlvo?</line>
  <line start="1554" end="1585" speaker="bubs">Dad, Trina and I are moving in together.</line>
  <line start="1586" end="1605" speaker="strongbad">I'll deal with you two later!</line>
  <line start="1606" end="1668" speaker="strongbad">Heh heh. Kids that are old enough for me to be in my sixties. What're you gonna do?</line>
  <line start="1669" end="1732" speaker="cardgage">I'm sorry, Bridget, but can I steep some identificaption?</line>
  <line start="1733" end="1826" speaker="strongbad">Uh, I seem to have left my identificaption in my other, older, and more professional briefcase...uh...</line>
  <line start="1827" end="1885" speaker="cardgage">Soggy, Junior. Come back when you're all grold up.</line>
  <line start="1910" end="1945" speaker="bubs">Man, I told you that lame-brained plan wouldn't work.</line>
  <line start="1946" end="1972" speaker="bubs">We shoulda been <em>your</em> parents.</line>
  <line start="1973" end="2031" speaker="strongbad">What? I'm way too good looking for anyone to believe that I'm you guys' kid.</line>
  <line start="2032" end="2067" speaker="strongbad">And Coach Z only <em>kinda</em> looks like my mom.</line>
  <line start="2068" end="2104" speaker="coachz">Hey, thanks! You want I should shave my legs?</line>
  <line start="2109" end="2116" speaker="strongbad">Ignoring that.</line>
  <line start="2117" end="2160" speaker="strongbad">Well, it looks like there's only one thing left to do.</line>
  <line start="2169" end="2234" speaker="strongbad">Ah, nothing like watching lowercase r-rated movies on scrambled cable.</line>
  <line start="2235" end="2254" speaker="other">Stop eating glass!</line>
  <line start="2255" end="2282" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I think I just saw a puppy get eaten!</line>
  <line start="2283" end="2299" speaker="other">Cakey blood.</line>
  <line start="2300" end="2332" speaker="bubs" voiceover="voiceover">That is one luuurid bake sale.</line>
  <line start="2333" end="2362" speaker="other">Real gross wound.</line>
  <line start="2363" end="2394" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Ewww. Look at all that breakfast.</line>
  <line start="2395" end="2415" speaker="other">Broken skull puncture!</line>
  <line start="2416" end="2449" speaker="newpaper" sfx="sfx">shuffling noises</line>
  <line start="2450" end="2480" speaker="other">Two underwears.</line>
  <line start="2495" end="2549" speaker="strongsad">Just a couple more days, I swear! He's waaaaaay overdue!</line>
  <line start="2563" end="2642" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">They even banned those movies in Transylvania, where you're required by law to eat puppies for breakfast!</line>
  <line start="2650" end="2720" speaker="kingoftown">Poopsmith, pack-a my bags! And don't forget my plastic fangs!</line>
</transcript>