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Cold One: Difference between revisions

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''&quot;Beer&quot; redirects here.'' ''For other types of beer, see [[Alcohol|Alcohol#Beer]].''
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'''Cold One''' is the most popular brand of [[beer]] in [[Free Country, USA]]. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is &quot;A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all.&quot; Despite this, cool, room temp-a-ture, warm, and not-so-cold ones have been introduced. Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually [[Alcohol|alcoholic]] or not, it is shown in [[Peasant's Quest]] that the [[Kerrek]] rejects Cold Ones because he is a [[Teetotalism|teetotaler]]. The [[Strong Bad]] [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]] displays &quot;Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones&quot;, making it clear that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. Also, Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are a variant that is &quot;brewed in Foreign Lands&quot;.
'''Cold One''' is the most popular brand of [[beer]] in [[Free Country, USA]]. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is &quot;A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all.&quot; Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually [[Alcohol|alcoholic]] or not, it is shown in [[Peasant's Quest]] that the [[Kerrek]] rejects Cold Ones because he is a [[Teetotalism|teetotaler]]. The [[Strong Bad]] [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]] displays &quot;Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones&quot;, making it clear that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. Also, Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are a variant that is &quot;brewed in Foreign Lands&quot;.


It is revealed in the email &quot;[[super powers]]&quot; that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.
It is revealed in the email &quot;[[super powers]]&quot; that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.
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| [[File:Cold One.PNG|[[File:Cold_One.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| [[File:Cold One.PNG|[[File:Cold_One.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| Preferred by [[Strong Bad]].
| Preferred by [[Strong Bad]].
| * Seen: [[Where My Hat Is At?]]; [[Theme Song Video]]; [[super powers]]; [[flag day]]; [[Strong Bad's Website]]; [[video games]]; [[Population: Tire]]; [[garage sale]]; [[Senorial Day]]; [[Strong Bad is a Bad Guy]]; [[pop-up]]; [[unnatural]] (Easter egg); [[Decemberweenvent Calendar]] ([[Decemberweenvent Calendar|Day 19]])
| * Seen: [[Where My Hat Is At?]]; [[Theme Song Video]]; [[super powers]]; [[flag day]]; [[Strong Bad's Website]]; [[video games]]; [[Population: Tire]]; [[garage sale]]; [[Senorial Day]]; [[Strong Bad is a Bad Guy]]; [[pop-up]]; [[unnatural]] (Easter egg)
* Mentioned or implied: [[property of ones]]; [[theme party]]; [[suntan]]; [[Peasant's Quest]]; [[for kids]]; [[Commandos in the Classroom]]; [[strongbad email.exe]]; [[strongbad email.exe Disc Three]]; [[coloring]]
* Mentioned or implied: [[property of ones]]; [[theme party]]; [[suntan]]; [[Peasant's Quest]]; [[for kids]]; [[Commandos in the Classroom]]; [[strongbad email.exe]]; [[strongbad email.exe Disc Three]]; [[coloring]]


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* [[impression]]
* [[impression]]
* [[Happy Fireworks]]
* [[Happy Fireworks]]
* [[pop-up]]


|- id="roomtempones"
|- id="roomtempones"
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| A foreign brand brewed in [[Category:Foreign Lands|Foreign Lands]]. Could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the British prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.
| A foreign brand brewed in [[Category:Foreign Lands|Foreign Lands]]. Could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the British prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.
| * [[property of ones]]
| * [[property of ones]]
* [[pop-up]]


|- id="warmones"
|- id="warmones"
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| Foreign brand straight from the oven.
| Foreign brand straight from the oven.
| * [[property of ones]]
| * [[property of ones]]
* [[pop-up]]


|- id="conone"
|- id="conone"
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| [[File:Cold Ones Light.PNG|[[File:Cold_Ones_Light.PNG|97px|thumb]]]]
| [[File:Cold Ones Light.PNG|[[File:Cold_Ones_Light.PNG|97px|thumb]]]]
| A [[Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Pabst Brewing Company|Old Style]] beer logo ([[File:Cold Ones Light Old Style.png|see comparison]]).
| A [[Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Pabst Brewing Company|Old Style]] beer logo ([[File:Cold Ones Light Old Style.png|see comparison]]).
| * [[Ever and More]]
| * [[Ever and More!]]
* [[Strong Badia the Free]]
* [[Strong Badia the Free]]
* [[Baddest of the Bands]]
* [[Baddest of the Bands]]
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|- id="codry"
|- id="codry"
| Cold Ones Dry
| Cold Ones Dry
| [[File:coldonesdry.png|[[File:coldonesdry.png|90px|thumb]]]]
| [[File:coldonesdry.png|[[File:coldonesdry.png|180px|thumb]]]]
| A [[Pale lager|dry]] variation of a Cold One, official beverage of [[Taranchula]].
| A [[Pale lager|dry]] variation of a Cold One, official beverage of [[Taranchula]].
| * [[buried]]
| * [[buried]]
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| Coldson Lite
| Coldson Lite
| [[File:coldsonlite02.PNG|[[File:coldsonlite02.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| [[File:coldsonlite02.PNG|[[File:coldsonlite02.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to Canadian beer [[Molson]], while the can resembles [[Coors Light]] — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004.
| A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to [[Molson]], a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of [[Coors Light]] — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004.
| * [[labor day]]
| * [[labor day]]
* [[lunch special]]
* [[lunch special]]
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* [[theme song]]
* [[theme song]]
* [[unnatural]] (Easter egg)
* [[unnatural]] (Easter egg)
* [[Ever and More]]
* [[Ever and More!]]
* [[hremail 3184]]
* [[hremail 3184]]
* [[Trogdor!! The Board Game (video)]]
* [[Trogdor!! The Board Game (video)]]
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|- id="coesb"
|- id="coesb"
| Cold Ones Extra Stout Black
| Cold Ones Extra Stout Black
| [[File:Cold Ones Extra Stout Black.PNG|[[File:Cold_Ones_Extra_Stout_Black.PNG|67px|thumb]]]]
| [[File:Cold Ones Extra Stout Black.PNG|[[File:Cold_Ones_Extra_Stout_Black.PNG|180px|thumb]]]]
| &quot;So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid.&quot; Seems to refer to [[Guinness]].
| &quot;So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid.&quot; Seems to refer to [[Guinness]].
| * [[Strong Badia the Free]]
| * [[Strong Badia the Free|Strong Badia The Free]]


|- id="coldenone"
|- id="coldenone"
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|- id="ponk"
|- id="ponk"
| PONK!
| PONK!
| [[File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG|[[File:Cold_Ones_Ponk.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| [[File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG|[[File:Cold_Ones_Ponk.PNG|107px|thumb|File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG]]]]
| Enjoyed by Bubs.
| Enjoyed by Bubs.
| * [[hremail 3184]]
| * [[hremail 3184]]
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|- id="icecream"
|- id="icecream"
| Hops and Icy Cold One flavored ice cream
| Hops and Icy Cold One flavored ice cream
| [[File:ColdOneIceCream.png|[[File:ColdOneIceCream.png|97px|thumb]]]]
| [[File:ColdOneIceCream.png|[[File:ColdOneIceCream.png|157px|thumb|File:ColdOneIceCream.png]]]]
| One of the flavors of [[Ice Cream|ice cream]] found on the code wheel for [[Peasant's Quest]]. It's claimed to be the favorite flavor of [[Samuel Adams]].
| One of the flavors of [[Ice Cream|ice cream]] found on the code wheel for [[Peasant's Quest]]. It's claimed to be the favorite flavor of [[Samuel Adams]].
| * [[8-Bit is Enough]]
| * [[8-Bit is Enough|8-Bit Is Enough]]


|- id="hardone"
|- id="hardone"
| Hard Ones
| Hard Ones
| ''not seen''
| ''not seen''
| Assumed to be the Cold Ones version of hard liquor (Vodka, Bourbon, etc.) An alleged ingredient in [[Santaman]]'s Chimney.
| Assumed to be the Cold Ones version of hard liquor (Vodka, Bourbon, ect.) An alleged ingredient in Santaman's Chimney.
| * [[Dangeresque Puppet Squad: The Hot Jones Hijack]] (mentioned)
| * [[Decemberween Dangeresque]] (mentioned)


|- id="problemone"
|- id="problemone"
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| Apparently responsible for Homestar and Strong Bad's original designs.
| Apparently responsible for Homestar and Strong Bad's original designs.
| * [[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2016|@StrongBadActual]] (mentioned)
| * [[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2016|@StrongBadActual]] (mentioned)
|- id="noncoldonesaholic"
| Non-Cold Onesaholic
| [[File:Kerrek Brau Cap.png|[[File:Kerrek_Brau_Cap.png|90px|thumb]]]]
| [[Kerrek Brau]] — &quot;Non-Cold Onesaholic&quot; and &quot;4.5% taste&quot;. Made with 100% real sweat from the Kerrek's brow.
| * [[Decemberweenvent Calendar]] ([[Decemberweenvent Calendar|Day 19]])


|}
|}

Revision as of 01:53, 14 July 2026

File:Sbemail39.PNG

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The Cold One motto

Cold One is the most popular brand of beer in Free Country, USA. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all." Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually alcoholic or not, it is shown in Peasant's Quest that the Kerrek rejects Cold Ones because he is a teetotaler. The Strong Bad screensaver displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", making it clear that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. Also, Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are a variant that is "brewed in Foreign Lands".

It is revealed in the email "super powers" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.

Matt Chapman revealed in The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show Interview - 7 July 2014 that Nickelodeon and Disney told him that he would have to cease all references to Cold Ones if the series were to be broadcast on their television networks.

The Property of Ones

See main article: Bogus Mathematical Theorems

According to Strong Bad, Cold Ones obey the following Property of Ones:

The Oneitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the One.

Or in other words:

The colder it is, the more of a one it is.

Types of Ones

Type Picture About Appearances
Cold Ones File:Cold One.PNG Preferred by Strong Bad. * Seen: Where My Hat Is At?; Theme Song Video; super powers; flag day; Strong Bad's Website; video games; Population: Tire; garage sale; Senorial Day; Strong Bad is a Bad Guy; pop-up; unnatural (Easter egg)
Cool Ones not seen A nice alternative on spring nights. * property of ones (mentioned)
Not So Cold Ones File:Notsocold.PNG Tempature is 90 degrees or higher, as said on the bottle. Enjoyed by Coach Z and Bubs. * property of ones
Room Temp-A-Ture Ones File:Roomone.PNG A foreign brand brewed in . Could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the British prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature. * property of ones
Wärm Önes File:Warmone.PNG Foreign brand straight from the oven. * property of ones
Cold None not seen Not to be wished on anyone * property of ones (mentioned)
One That Is Not Cold not seen What the sender of property of ones, Dan Waters, claims to have almost drank. Scarcely a One at all. * property of ones (mentioned)
Xtra Cold Ones File:Xtra Cold One.PNG A step up from Cold Ones. * Cheat Commandos; theme park
Cold One Ice File:Cold One Ice.PNG Thrown at a moose lamp. * portrait
'old One File:Oldone.PNG Enjoyed by Pom Pom, Homestar Runner, and Strong Bad. * Summer Short Shorts
Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones File:Cold One Premium Alcoholic Screen Saver.png From the screensaver. * Strong Bad Screensaver
Cold Ones Light File:Cold Ones Light.PNG A light variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the Old Style beer logo (see comparison). * Ever and More!
Expen$e Account Ones File:Expense Account Ones.png Enjoyed while on a business trip. * business trip
Cold Ones Dry File:Coldonesdry.png A dry variation of a Cold One, official beverage of Taranchula. * buried
Coldson Lite File:Coldsonlite02.PNG A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and The Cheat. It may be a reference to Molson, a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of Coors Light — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004. * labor day
Cold Ones Extra Stout Black File:Cold Ones Extra Stout Black.PNG "So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." Seems to refer to Guinness. * Strong Badia The Free
Colden Ones File:ColdenOnes.png A variation of the Cold One. Enjoyed by Homestar Runner before the Big Game. May be a reference to "Molson Golden". * Where My Hat Is At? (toon)
PONK! File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG Enjoyed by Bubs. * hremail 3184
Hops and Icy Cold One flavored ice cream File:ColdOneIceCream.png File:ColdOneIceCream.png One of the flavors of ice cream found on the code wheel for Peasant's Quest. It's claimed to be the favorite flavor of Samuel Adams. * 8-Bit Is Enough
Hard Ones not seen Assumed to be the Cold Ones version of hard liquor (Vodka, Bourbon, ect.) An alleged ingredient in Santaman's Chimney. * Decemberween Dangeresque (mentioned)
Problem Ones not seen Apparently responsible for Homestar and Strong Bad's original designs. * @StrongBadActual (mentioned)

See Also

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