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'''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[Donut Unto Others]].''' [https://homestarrunner.com/doughnutstand.html watch this toon]
'''[[HRWiki:Subtitles|HRWikiSubtitlesProject]]'''
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome.<br />It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/doughnutstand/en local viewer].
 
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| '''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[Donut Unto Others]].''' <span class="hovul" style="font-size:smaller;background:#EEE;border:1px #999 solid;padding:2px;margin-left:6px;white-space:nowrap">[https://homestarrunner.com/doughnutstand.html watch this toon]</span>
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It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/doughnutstand/en local viewer].
 
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'''en''' 
 
[[Subtitles:doughnutstand/de|de]] 
'''en'''  [[Subtitles:doughnutstand/de|de]]  [[Subtitles:doughnutstand/he|he]]  [[Subtitles:doughnutstand/es|es]]  [[Subtitles:doughnutstand/fr|fr]]  [[Subtitles:doughnutstand/nl|nl]]  [[Subtitles:doughnutstand/fi|fi]]  [[Subtitles:doughnutstand/pl|pl]]  [[Subtitles:doughnutstand/pt-br|pt-br]]  [[Subtitles:doughnutstand/tr|tr]]
[[Subtitles:doughnutstand/he|he]] 
 
[[Subtitles:doughnutstand/es|es]] 
</div>
[[Subtitles:doughnutstand/fr|fr]] 
<pre>&lt;?xml version=&quot;1.0&quot; encoding=&quot;utf-8&quot;?&gt;
[[Subtitles:doughnutstand/nl|nl]] 
&lt;transcript xml:lang=&quot;en&quot; file=&quot;doughnutstand.swf&quot; width=&quot;550&quot; height=&quot;400&quot;&gt;
[[Subtitles:doughnutstand/fi|fi]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;16&quot; end=&quot;66&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;music&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:doughnutstand/pl|pl]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;67&quot; end=&quot;139&quot;&gt;
[[Subtitles:doughnutstand/pt-br|pt-br]] 
    &lt;marzipan&gt;Oh, that's sweet! Are you making me homemade donuts for the 16th anniversary of our 17th breakup?&lt;/marzipan&gt;
[[Subtitles:doughnutstand/tr|tr]]
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.8&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;140&quot; end=&quot;186&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar&gt;Um, no. No way. Um, no way.&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.8&quot;&gt;music fades out&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;187&quot; end=&quot;233&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;You know how I've always dreamed of being my own boss at the donut factory!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;234&quot; end=&quot;256&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt;No, since when?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;257&quot; end=&quot;276&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Why, just last night!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;277&quot; end=&quot;339&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar voiceover=&quot;yes&quot;&gt;I dreamt that I was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs!&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.8&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;340&quot; end=&quot;374&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt;Aaand that made you want to start a donut shop?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;375&quot; end=&quot;416&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Yes sir! Like I said, it's a boyhood dream of mine.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;417&quot; end=&quot;433&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Could you pass me that recipe?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;439&quot; end=&quot;493&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt;There's just this square of TP that says &quot;dog-nut&quot; on it.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;494&quot; end=&quot;521&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Yeah, yeah. That's it. My secret recipe.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;522&quot; end=&quot;530&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot; sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;sighs&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;531&quot; end=&quot;552&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt;I'm gonna go talk to anyone else but you.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;553&quot; end=&quot;588&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;music&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;589&quot; end=&quot;647&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;I honestly wonder how many million donuts I'll sell on my first day.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;648&quot; end=&quot;690&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Three? Four? Eight?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;691&quot; end=&quot;743&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;I've gotta be ready for the 3:09 p.m. donut rush, you know.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;744&quot; end=&quot;758&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Ooh, here it comes.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;782&quot; end=&quot;823&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Well, hello, Homestar!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;824&quot; end=&quot;857&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Hey there, donut rush. What can I get for you?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;858&quot; end=&quot;921&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;It's really great to very see you, Homestar!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;922&quot; end=&quot;967&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Uhhm...it's good to see you, too, I guess.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;968&quot; end=&quot;1048&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;I'm &lt;em&gt;delighted&lt;/em&gt; you've decided to set up shop about &lt;em&gt;ten feet away&lt;/em&gt; from me!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1049&quot; end=&quot;1115&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Yeah, we could be a conglomerate, like KFC-Taco Bell-Radisson-Texas Instruments-NASA!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1116&quot; end=&quot;1183&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Yes! That is a really outstanding ideeeaaaa!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1184&quot; end=&quot;1213&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Um, Bubs? Are we in a fight?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1214&quot; end=&quot;1228&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;What do you think, man?!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1229&quot; end=&quot;1279&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;You opened up a competing donut place right across the street from me!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1280&quot; end=&quot;1294&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;The street?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1295&quot; end=&quot;1317&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Right across the way from me.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1318&quot; end=&quot;1353&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1354&quot; end=&quot;1376&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;That was two hours ago.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1377&quot; end=&quot;1398&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Now I'm in the donut bidness.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1399&quot; end=&quot;1424&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;How's that coverage working out for you, by the way?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1425&quot; end=&quot;1441&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Great so far!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1442&quot; end=&quot;1489&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;I gotta get ready for the big 3:09 p.m. donut rush.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1490&quot; end=&quot;1543&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;When next we meet, 'twill be on the donut field of battle!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1544&quot; end=&quot;1594&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot; sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;singing drum-like marching music&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1595&quot; end=&quot;1625&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;clock ticking&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1626&quot; end=&quot;1630&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;ding!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1631&quot; end=&quot;1637&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;poof!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1638&quot; end=&quot;1679&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Oof!  All right gentlemen, here's how this is gonna go down.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1680&quot; end=&quot;1704&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;I need fried dough so bad it hurts!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1705&quot; end=&quot;1805&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;According to the data I got back from Taco Bell-NASA, we're gonna need in the 3 to 8 million range to maintain my caloric intake.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1806&quot; end=&quot;1838&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Now, commence marketing bombardment.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1839&quot; end=&quot;1841&quot;&gt;
    &lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt;&lt;homestar&gt;...&lt;/homestar&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1842&quot; end=&quot;1858&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar&gt;Mine's is homemade!&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1859&quot; end=&quot;1954&quot;&gt;
    &lt;bubs&gt;Mine's is shipped from a 3rd world country named Homemáde, so I can legally print &quot;From Homemade&quot; on the prepackaged package.&lt;/bubs&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1955&quot; end=&quot;2007&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar&gt;I've got grit, gumption and an adorable speech impootaboot.&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2008&quot; end=&quot;2043&quot;&gt;
    &lt;bubs&gt;My name's Bubs, I talk hard and fast.&lt;/bubs&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2044&quot; end=&quot;2076&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar&gt;Available in 57 different varieties!&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2077&quot; end=&quot;2117&quot;&gt;
    &lt;bubs&gt;One flavor, over a hundred different names for it.&lt;/bubs&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2118&quot; end=&quot;2155&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar&gt;Marzipan raves &quot;Hey!  Get outta my kitchen, you!&quot;&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2156&quot; end=&quot;2179&quot;&gt;
    &lt;bubs&gt;Fights cavities!  Cleans Teeth!&lt;/bubs&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2180&quot; end=&quot;2216&quot;&gt;
    &lt;bubs&gt;&lt;em&gt;(very quickly)&lt;/em&gt; The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statements.&lt;/bubs&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2217&quot; end=&quot;2222&quot;&gt;
    &lt;kingoftown&gt;All right, all right, all right.&lt;/kingoftown&gt;
    &lt;sfx&gt;record scratch&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2223&quot; end=&quot;2236&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;All right, all right, all right.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2237&quot; end=&quot;2286&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;You both make excellent cases, but I've come to my decision.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2287&quot; end=&quot;2320&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot;&gt;Health Inspector! Cheese it, everyone!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2321&quot; end=&quot;2326&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;closing sound&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2327&quot; end=&quot;2332&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Ooh!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2339&quot; end=&quot;2363&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;music&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2364&quot; end=&quot;2411&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Hey potential customer, would you like several million donuts?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2412&quot; end=&quot;2437&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;No, I don't want &lt;em&gt;one&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2438&quot; end=&quot;2485&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;But do you dough-&lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; want one?  Hmmm?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2486&quot; end=&quot;2526&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I'm the health inspector, here to hopefully shut you down.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2527&quot; end=&quot;2562&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Now rub this swab under your grease trap and bring it back.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2563&quot; end=&quot;2583&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Yes sir, Inspector Heath!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2584&quot; end=&quot;2610&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot; sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;humming the Inspector Gadget theme song&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2611&quot; end=&quot;2640&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;humming the Inspector Gadget theme song&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;strongbad&gt;And we'll do a little bit of &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt;!&lt;/strongbad&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2641&quot; end=&quot;2660&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot; voiceover=&quot;yes&quot;&gt;Ah! My face!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2661&quot; end=&quot;2702&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar voiceover=&quot;yes&quot;&gt;My delicious fried face!&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;strongbad sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;laughs&lt;/strongbad&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2703&quot; end=&quot;2767&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar voiceover=&quot;yes&quot;&gt;Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? &lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt; At least questionably so?  Bubs?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2768&quot; end=&quot;2802&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar voiceover=&quot;yes&quot;&gt;Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? At least questionably so?&lt;span style=&quot;visibility:hidden&quot;&gt;  Bubs?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2803&quot; end=&quot;2816&quot;&gt;
    &lt;homestar voiceover=&quot;yes&quot;&gt;Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? At least questionably so?  Bubs?&lt;/homestar&gt;
    &lt;sfx volume=&quot;0.9&quot;&gt;music&lt;/sfx&gt;
  &lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2817&quot; end=&quot;2879&quot; speaker=&quot;bubs&quot; sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;singing&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;/transcript&gt;</pre>
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<pre>
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en" file="doughnutstand.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="66" speaker="sfx">music</line>
  <line start="67" end="139">
    <marzipan>Oh, that's sweet! Are you making me homemade donuts for the 16th anniversary of our 17th breakup?</marzipan>
    <sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="140" end="186">
    <homestar>Um, no. No way. Um, no way.</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.8">music fades out</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="187" end="233" speaker="homestar">You know how I've always dreamed of being my own boss at the donut factory!</line>
  <line start="234" end="256" speaker="marzipan">No, since when?</line>
  <line start="257" end="276" speaker="homestar">Why, just last night!</line>
  <line start="277" end="339">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">I dreamt that I was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs!</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="340" end="374" speaker="marzipan">Aaand that made you want to start a donut shop?</line>
  <line start="375" end="416" speaker="homestar">Yes sir! Like I said, it's a boyhood dream of mine.</line>
  <line start="417" end="433" speaker="homestar">Could you pass me that recipe?</line>
  <line start="439" end="493" speaker="marzipan">There's just this square of TP that says "dog-nut" on it.</line>
  <line start="494" end="521" speaker="homestar">Yeah, yeah. That's it. My secret recipe.</line>
  <line start="522" end="530" speaker="marzipan" sfx="sfx">sighs</line>
  <line start="531" end="552" speaker="marzipan">I'm gonna go talk to anyone else but you.</line>
  <line start="553" end="588" speaker="sfx">music</line>
  <line start="589" end="647" speaker="homestar">I honestly wonder how many million donuts I'll sell on my first day.</line>
  <line start="648" end="690" speaker="homestar">Three? Four? Eight?</line>
  <line start="691" end="743" speaker="homestar">I've gotta be ready for the 3:09 p.m. donut rush, you know.</line>
  <line start="744" end="758" speaker="homestar">Ooh, here it comes.</line>
  <line start="782" end="823" speaker="bubs">Well, hello, Homestar!</line>
  <line start="824" end="857" speaker="homestar">Hey there, donut rush. What can I get for you?</line>
  <line start="858" end="921" speaker="bubs">It's really great to very see you, Homestar!</line>
  <line start="922" end="967" speaker="homestar">Uhhm...it's good to see you, too, I guess.</line>
  <line start="968" end="1048" speaker="bubs">I'm <em>delighted</em> you've decided to set up shop about <em>ten feet away</em> from me!</line>
  <line start="1049" end="1115" speaker="homestar">Yeah, we could be a conglomerate, like KFC-Taco Bell-Radisson-Texas Instruments-NASA!</line>
  <line start="1116" end="1183" speaker="bubs">Yes! That is a really outstanding ideeeaaaa!</line>
  <line start="1184" end="1213" speaker="homestar">Um, Bubs? Are we in a fight?</line>
  <line start="1214" end="1228" speaker="bubs">What do you think, man?!</line>
  <line start="1229" end="1279" speaker="bubs">You opened up a competing donut place right across the street from me!</line>
  <line start="1280" end="1294" speaker="homestar">The street?</line>
  <line start="1295" end="1317" speaker="bubs">Right across the way from me.</line>
  <line start="1318" end="1353" speaker="homestar">But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage.</line>
  <line start="1354" end="1376" speaker="bubs">That was two hours ago.</line>
  <line start="1377" end="1398" speaker="bubs">Now I'm in the donut bidness.</line>
  <line start="1399" end="1424" speaker="bubs">How's that coverage working out for you, by the way?</line>
  <line start="1425" end="1441" speaker="homestar">Great so far!</line>
  <line start="1442" end="1489" speaker="bubs">I gotta get ready for the big 3:09 p.m. donut rush.</line>
  <line start="1490" end="1543" speaker="bubs">When next we meet, 'twill be on the donut field of battle!</line>
  <line start="1544" end="1594" speaker="bubs" sfx="sfx">singing drum-like marching music</line>
  <line start="1595" end="1625" speaker="sfx">clock ticking</line>
  <line start="1626" end="1630" speaker="sfx">ding!</line>
  <line start="1631" end="1637" speaker="sfx">poof!</line>
  <line start="1638" end="1679" speaker="kingoftown">Oof!  All right gentlemen, here's how this is gonna go down.</line>
  <line start="1680" end="1704" speaker="kingoftown">I need fried dough so bad it hurts!</line>
  <line start="1705" end="1805" speaker="kingoftown">According to the data I got back from Taco Bell-NASA, we're gonna need in the 3 to 8 million range to maintain my caloric intake.</line>
  <line start="1806" end="1838" speaker="kingoftown">Now, commence marketing bombardment.</line>
  <line start="1839" end="1841">
    <span style="visibility:hidden"><homestar>...</homestar></span>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="1842" end="1858">
    <homestar>Mine's is homemade!</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="1859" end="1954">
    <bubs>Mine's is shipped from a 3rd world country named Homemáde, so I can legally print "From Homemade" on the prepackaged package.</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="1955" end="2007">
    <homestar>I've got grit, gumption and an adorable speech impootaboot.</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2008" end="2043">
    <bubs>My name's Bubs, I talk hard and fast.</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2044" end="2076">
    <homestar>Available in 57 different varieties!</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2077" end="2117">
    <bubs>One flavor, over a hundred different names for it.</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2118" end="2155">
    <homestar>Marzipan raves "Hey!  Get outta my kitchen, you!"</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2156" end="2179">
    <bubs>Fights cavities!  Cleans Teeth!</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2180" end="2216">
    <bubs><em>(very quickly)</em> The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statements.</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2217" end="2222">
    <kingoftown>All right, all right, all right.</kingoftown>
    <sfx>record scratch</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2223" end="2236" speaker="kingoftown">All right, all right, all right.</line>
  <line start="2237" end="2286" speaker="kingoftown">You both make excellent cases, but I've come to my decision.</line>
  <line start="2287" end="2320" speaker="bubs">Health Inspector! Cheese it, everyone!</line>
  <line start="2321" end="2326" speaker="sfx">closing sound</line>
  <line start="2327" end="2332" speaker="kingoftown">Ooh!</line>
  <line start="2339" end="2363" speaker="sfx">music</line>
  <line start="2364" end="2411" speaker="homestar">Hey potential customer, would you like several million donuts?</line>
  <line start="2412" end="2437" speaker="strongbad">No, I don't want <em>one</em>.</line>
  <line start="2438" end="2485" speaker="homestar">But do you dough-<em>not</em> want one?  Hmmm?</line>
  <line start="2486" end="2526" speaker="strongbad">I'm the health inspector, here to hopefully shut you down.</line>
  <line start="2527" end="2562" speaker="strongbad">Now rub this swab under your grease trap and bring it back.</line>
  <line start="2563" end="2583" speaker="homestar">Yes sir, Inspector Heath!</line>
  <line start="2584" end="2610" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">humming the Inspector Gadget theme song</line>
  <line start="2611" end="2640">
    <homestar sfx="sfx">humming the Inspector Gadget theme song</homestar>
    <strongbad>And we'll do a little bit of <em>this</em>!</strongbad>
  </line>
  <line start="2641" end="2660" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Ah! My face!</line>
  <line start="2661" end="2702">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">My delicious fried face!</homestar>
    <strongbad sfx="sfx">laughs</strongbad>
  </line>
  <line start="2703" end="2767">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? <span style="visibility:hidden"> At least questionably so?  Bubs?</span></homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2768" end="2802">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? At least questionably so?<span style="visibility:hidden">  Bubs?</span></homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2803" end="2816">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? At least questionably so?  Bubs?</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2817" end="2879" speaker="bubs" sfx="sfx">singing</line>
</transcript>
</pre>
[[Category:English Subtitles]]


Latest revision as of 14:24, 14 July 2026

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en" file="doughnutstand.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="66" speaker="sfx">music</line>
  <line start="67" end="139">
    <marzipan>Oh, that's sweet! Are you making me homemade donuts for the 16th anniversary of our 17th breakup?</marzipan>
    <sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="140" end="186">
    <homestar>Um, no. No way. Um, no way.</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.8">music fades out</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="187" end="233" speaker="homestar">You know how I've always dreamed of being my own boss at the donut factory!</line>
  <line start="234" end="256" speaker="marzipan">No, since when?</line>
  <line start="257" end="276" speaker="homestar">Why, just last night!</line>
  <line start="277" end="339">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">I dreamt that I was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs!</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.8">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="340" end="374" speaker="marzipan">Aaand that made you want to start a donut shop?</line>
  <line start="375" end="416" speaker="homestar">Yes sir! Like I said, it's a boyhood dream of mine.</line>
  <line start="417" end="433" speaker="homestar">Could you pass me that recipe?</line>
  <line start="439" end="493" speaker="marzipan">There's just this square of TP that says "dog-nut" on it.</line>
  <line start="494" end="521" speaker="homestar">Yeah, yeah. That's it. My secret recipe.</line>
  <line start="522" end="530" speaker="marzipan" sfx="sfx">sighs</line>
  <line start="531" end="552" speaker="marzipan">I'm gonna go talk to anyone else but you.</line>
  <line start="553" end="588" speaker="sfx">music</line>
  <line start="589" end="647" speaker="homestar">I honestly wonder how many million donuts I'll sell on my first day.</line>
  <line start="648" end="690" speaker="homestar">Three? Four? Eight?</line>
  <line start="691" end="743" speaker="homestar">I've gotta be ready for the 3:09 p.m. donut rush, you know.</line>
  <line start="744" end="758" speaker="homestar">Ooh, here it comes.</line>
  <line start="782" end="823" speaker="bubs">Well, hello, Homestar!</line>
  <line start="824" end="857" speaker="homestar">Hey there, donut rush. What can I get for you?</line>
  <line start="858" end="921" speaker="bubs">It's really great to very see you, Homestar!</line>
  <line start="922" end="967" speaker="homestar">Uhhm...it's good to see you, too, I guess.</line>
  <line start="968" end="1048" speaker="bubs">I'm <em>delighted</em> you've decided to set up shop about <em>ten feet away</em> from me!</line>
  <line start="1049" end="1115" speaker="homestar">Yeah, we could be a conglomerate, like KFC-Taco Bell-Radisson-Texas Instruments-NASA!</line>
  <line start="1116" end="1183" speaker="bubs">Yes! That is a really outstanding ideeeaaaa!</line>
  <line start="1184" end="1213" speaker="homestar">Um, Bubs? Are we in a fight?</line>
  <line start="1214" end="1228" speaker="bubs">What do you think, man?!</line>
  <line start="1229" end="1279" speaker="bubs">You opened up a competing donut place right across the street from me!</line>
  <line start="1280" end="1294" speaker="homestar">The street?</line>
  <line start="1295" end="1317" speaker="bubs">Right across the way from me.</line>
  <line start="1318" end="1353" speaker="homestar">But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage.</line>
  <line start="1354" end="1376" speaker="bubs">That was two hours ago.</line>
  <line start="1377" end="1398" speaker="bubs">Now I'm in the donut bidness.</line>
  <line start="1399" end="1424" speaker="bubs">How's that coverage working out for you, by the way?</line>
  <line start="1425" end="1441" speaker="homestar">Great so far!</line>
  <line start="1442" end="1489" speaker="bubs">I gotta get ready for the big 3:09 p.m. donut rush.</line>
  <line start="1490" end="1543" speaker="bubs">When next we meet, 'twill be on the donut field of battle!</line>
  <line start="1544" end="1594" speaker="bubs" sfx="sfx">singing drum-like marching music</line>
  <line start="1595" end="1625" speaker="sfx">clock ticking</line>
  <line start="1626" end="1630" speaker="sfx">ding!</line>
  <line start="1631" end="1637" speaker="sfx">poof!</line>
  <line start="1638" end="1679" speaker="kingoftown">Oof!  All right gentlemen, here's how this is gonna go down.</line>
  <line start="1680" end="1704" speaker="kingoftown">I need fried dough so bad it hurts!</line>
  <line start="1705" end="1805" speaker="kingoftown">According to the data I got back from Taco Bell-NASA, we're gonna need in the 3 to 8 million range to maintain my caloric intake.</line>
  <line start="1806" end="1838" speaker="kingoftown">Now, commence marketing bombardment.</line>
  <line start="1839" end="1841">
    <span style="visibility:hidden"><homestar>...</homestar></span>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="1842" end="1858">
    <homestar>Mine's is homemade!</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="1859" end="1954">
    <bubs>Mine's is shipped from a 3rd world country named Homemáde, so I can legally print "From Homemade" on the prepackaged package.</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="1955" end="2007">
    <homestar>I've got grit, gumption and an adorable speech impootaboot.</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2008" end="2043">
    <bubs>My name's Bubs, I talk hard and fast.</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2044" end="2076">
    <homestar>Available in 57 different varieties!</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2077" end="2117">
    <bubs>One flavor, over a hundred different names for it.</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2118" end="2155">
    <homestar>Marzipan raves "Hey!  Get outta my kitchen, you!"</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2156" end="2179">
    <bubs>Fights cavities!  Cleans Teeth!</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2180" end="2216">
    <bubs><em>(very quickly)</em> The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statements.</bubs>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2217" end="2222">
    <kingoftown>All right, all right, all right.</kingoftown>
    <sfx>record scratch</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2223" end="2236" speaker="kingoftown">All right, all right, all right.</line>
  <line start="2237" end="2286" speaker="kingoftown">You both make excellent cases, but I've come to my decision.</line>
  <line start="2287" end="2320" speaker="bubs">Health Inspector! Cheese it, everyone!</line>
  <line start="2321" end="2326" speaker="sfx">closing sound</line>
  <line start="2327" end="2332" speaker="kingoftown">Ooh!</line>
  <line start="2339" end="2363" speaker="sfx">music</line>
  <line start="2364" end="2411" speaker="homestar">Hey potential customer, would you like several million donuts?</line>
  <line start="2412" end="2437" speaker="strongbad">No, I don't want <em>one</em>.</line>
  <line start="2438" end="2485" speaker="homestar">But do you dough-<em>not</em> want one?  Hmmm?</line>
  <line start="2486" end="2526" speaker="strongbad">I'm the health inspector, here to hopefully shut you down.</line>
  <line start="2527" end="2562" speaker="strongbad">Now rub this swab under your grease trap and bring it back.</line>
  <line start="2563" end="2583" speaker="homestar">Yes sir, Inspector Heath!</line>
  <line start="2584" end="2610" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">humming the Inspector Gadget theme song</line>
  <line start="2611" end="2640">
    <homestar sfx="sfx">humming the Inspector Gadget theme song</homestar>
    <strongbad>And we'll do a little bit of <em>this</em>!</strongbad>
  </line>
  <line start="2641" end="2660" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Ah! My face!</line>
  <line start="2661" end="2702">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">My delicious fried face!</homestar>
    <strongbad sfx="sfx">laughs</strongbad>
  </line>
  <line start="2703" end="2767">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? <span style="visibility:hidden"> At least questionably so?  Bubs?</span></homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2768" end="2802">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? At least questionably so?<span style="visibility:hidden">  Bubs?</span></homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2803" end="2816">
    <homestar voiceover="yes">Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage? At least questionably so?  Bubs?</homestar>
    <sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="2817" end="2879" speaker="bubs" sfx="sfx">singing</line>
</transcript>
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