lady...ing

Strong Bad Email #135

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Holy-crap-adorable!

This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For other uses, see Lady.

Strong Bad goes back five or six years to the first email he ever answered to show how he gave advice on lady...ing.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, The Announcer, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Strong Sad, Mustachioed Homestar Runner (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Arena, The Field (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486, Tandy 400

Date: Monday, August 8, 2005

Running Time: 4:22

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Five

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing loudly in falsetto} Why do I check emails the way I do? I don't know. {begins reading}

subject: Ladies...

Dear Strongest of the Bads,
We are two desperate losers who could never get any
ladies. Since you're such a lady expert, could you give us
any tips on lady...ing.
Your 2nd and 3rd best Friends Ever,
Lorenzo and Fillbert

{Strong Bad reads "Strongest of the Bads" very quickly and rhythmically. After reading "could never get any ladies", he says "Oooh, something I would not openly admit." He reads "lady...ing." as "lady?(pause)ing?"}

STRONG BAD: 2nd and 3rd best friends?? What about Fabrosi? What'd you two do to Fabrosi? Eh, whatever. That guy's probably out lady-ing with that fake mustache he always wears. It's only gonna attract gold-diggers. {clears screen} Desperate losers or not, you guys should remember that I addressed this issue, like, 5 or 6 years ago. In fact, I think it mighta been the first email I ever checked. The Cheat, roll that beautiful email footage!

{Cut to the computer desk. The Cheat walks in holding a Laserdisc.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, a Laserdisc. {music starts and The Cheat spins the disc as Strong Bad sings} The Cheat's playin' something on a Laserdisc. Everything is better on Laserdisc. Whatever happened to the Laserdisc? Laserdisc! {The Cheat and Strong Bad touch hands as the music stops.}

{The Cheat walks to the left. Cut to the old loading screen from Marshmallow's Last Stand, then to the Arena from the same toon. Throughout this section of the email, the animation and voices are in the same style as the old toon. Cut to a close-up on the Announcer.}

ANNOUNCER: And in the red corner, hailing from Parts Unknown, {holds microphone closer} the Ramblin' Wreck of Email Check, Strong Bad!

{Cut to the corner of the wrestling ring, which contains a table with the Tandy on it. Strong Bad pops out from a trapdoor and lands with a loud thud.}

STRONG BAD: Greetings all you morones {"morons" with Strong Bad's old, affected Mexican accent}. Holy crap! Welcome to the Strong Bad show, where I check a real email from one of you {leans in toward the camera} stupid idiots.

{The crowd boos. Strong Bad produces an anvil and hurls it at them.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, you a-shut up!

{The anvil lands with a crash. Someone in the crowd says "Ow!" Strong Bad laughs at him.}

STRONG BAD: Now let's a-holy crap get to business!

{Strong Bad walks over to the Tandy and brings up the email somehow. He reads:}

Dear Strong Bad,
I am a desperate loser. Can you
give me any tips on lady-ing?
Your 1st best Friend ever,
Fabrosi

STRONG BAD: But of course. When it comes to the ladies, I've got no... competition! {He jumps up and shakes as he says it.} {very quietly} Holy crap.

{Cut to a close-up}

STRONG BAD: First, Fabrosi, you've got to look as much as possible like the Strong Bad. {He points to himself with both hands.} Take off your shirt, {produces some sandpaper} sand off your nipples, {rubs it on his chest; the camera pans down to his feet} and wear tight pants that accentuate all your suppleties. {He swivels his body around once.} But sometimes {swivels it again} that's not enough, and you have to douse yourself in the finest {produces a can of gasoline} Mongolian aftershave lotion.

{He douses himself as the crowd cheers "Yay!" Strong Bad walks off and over to Homestar Runner (sans cap) and Marzipan. Gasoline fumes emanate above Strong Bad's head.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, Marzipan. Do you want a-my bod! {He jumps up and shakes as he says it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh, Strong Bad, why do you smell like a garage?

MARZIPAN: Me too!

STRONG BAD: Why, you... A-take a-this!

{He leaps at Homestar, somersaulting over and over with a helicopter-like noise. He lands right on Homestar's head. There is a huge explosion of stars as Homestar is knocked to the mat, stars spinning above his eyes.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh!

{Cut to a close-up of Strong Bad on top of the ropes. He is no longer emanating gasoline fumes.}

STRONG BAD: The ladies also can't resist... {All of the sudden his chest is very defined; his biceps bulge up.} ...muscular wrestling moves... {The camera pulls back.} ...off the top rope!

{Strong Bad leaps from the top rope and crashes right on Homestar, who is still down. There is another starry explosion.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ow!

{Cut to Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: Ooh, that's resistible.

STRONG BAD: And if that doesn't work, bring out your cute baby brother {Strong Sad walks up but falls through the ground when a trapdoor appears} or holy-crap-adorable pet {The Cheat walks in from the right}.

{The Cheat squeaks softly and bats his bright blue eyes.}

MARZIPAN: {frowning} Now it smells like a garage with a litter box in it.

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, I told you to wear finest Mongolian aftershave lotion!

{The Cheat hums and bats his eyes some more. Strong Bad kicks him out of the ring.}

STRONG BAD: If all else fails...

{Cut to a table set up in the ring, complete with a tablecloth, two candles, and a serving platter. The Cheat, humming, flies overhead and crashes.}

STRONG BAD: ...employ the secret weapon: {The lid lifts off the serving platter to reveal two burritos and a tin of Mungo's Caviar.} A candlelit dinner with caviar burritos and finest cigars!

{Strong Bad, who has begun emanating gasoline fumes again, holds a cigar up to one of the candles to light it. Naturally, it explodes.}

STRONG BAD: Aaahhh!

{Strong Bad's head begins to crack and then shatters, leaving just his mouth.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You see, Strong Bad? What the luscious ladies really want is a guy that still has a face and head.

MARZIPAN: {leaning toward Homestar} Yeah, me too!

STRONG BAD: {still mostly headless} Holy crap.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm a star!

{He leaps into a freeze frame. The background turns orange and the words "The End" appear in the corner as the old theme music plays. Mike Chapman can be heard in the background, saying "ding ding ding ding ding da ding ding ding" in time with the theme music. Cut back to Strong Bad, now asleep and snoring at the Lappy. He wakes up with a start.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Aught? What? Ooot? Oh, yeah. Boy, those old cartoons still pack a whallop. Uh, so yeah, Danny. Now's a great time to plant cucumbers. Stocks are up, stipes are down. And old Strong Bad's got a date with a bowl of creme brulee ice creme. Cream.

{He gets up. After a couple of seconds, the camera pans right to reveal him still at the table, snoring away. The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on the word "And" to see Homestar following Strong Bad's advice... sort of.

  {Homestar and Marzipan are standing in the field. Homestar appears to be wearing a very wide fake mustache}

  HOMESTAR RUNNER: So, ladytype, I'm wearin' tight pants {shakes a leg} so as to accentuate all my bubbleteas!

  MARZIPAN: Have I broken up with you yet?

  HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, a couple times.

• Click on the "Genghis Khan" disk in the Floppy Disk Container to see a bottle of "Genghis Khan" lotion for women ("Smell like a Warlord!").
• Click on Strong Bad's head to see a brief dream of him somersaulting over a canyon.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• A stipe is a supporting stalk or stem-like structure, especially the stalk of a pistil, the petiole of a fern frond, or the stalk that supports the cap of a mushroom.
• A "gold digger" is a person who marries/dates for profit.
• Bubble Tea is a drink with balls of Tapioca (the titular bubbles) added to it.

Trivia

• The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "genghis khan" which parallels the two references to "Mongolian aftershave lotion."
• This is the first time the Floppy Disk Container is seen close up.
• The background riffs in the Laserdisc song are two of the "rock" bass demos on the Casio MT-100 keyboard.
• The microphone into which the announcer speaks resembles an RCA 77-type.

Remarks

• The "early version" Homestar in this email has a lower voice than his Marshmallow's Last Stand counterpart, sounding slightly more like his modern self. Strong Bad's voice is also slightly more relaxed and sounds more like his modern counterpart.
• Strong Bad does a flip jump like Stinkoman in Stinkoman 20X6.
• The sound that The Cheat makes as he flies over the table is similar to the sound he makes in Main Page 20 when he flies out of a pile of grapes.
• Even though Strong Bad says he would not openly admit that he could never get ladies, he did accidentally say he doesn't know anything about the ladies at the end of lures & jigs.
• Strong Bad omits four diacritical marks in the words "crème brûlée" and "ice crème", instead spelling them as "creme brulee" and "ice creme".
• Although Strong Bad says "Holy crap" a lot in the flashback, he never actually used this phrase in Marshmallow's Last Stand. In fact, the catch phrase wasn't used until The Reddest Radish, which was in an entirely different time period.
• Adorable The Cheat has similar blue eyes to Cheatball's.
• The wrestling match ends when Strong Bad explodes. Being "blown up" is pro-wrestling jargon that describes a wrestler who is tired and performing sluggishly.
• A standard Laserdisc is 30 cm (1 foot) in diameter. Measuring the Laserdisc held by The Cheat to scale with the Homestar Runner cast would make them much shorter than usual.

Goofs

• In the "dream" Easter egg, Strong Bad starts outside the thought balloon.
• While Strong Bad is sleeping at the end of the email (after he ducks out for the creme brulee ice creme), the Lappy's screen doesn't give the distortion effect it usually does when it is clicked on.
• In the flashback, when Strong Bad enters the ring through the floor, his left hand goes through the floor because the hole is too narrow.
• During the entire email, the "No Loafing" sign is missing.
• During the flashback Strong Bad starts with no belly button, but when he is on the top rope he has one. After he comes down, and for the rest of the flashback the belly button is gone.
• When Strong Bad is putting on the "aftershave lotion", his hand becomes disconnected from his body.
• When Strong Bad does his flips, his boots are red, not black.

Glitches

• If the Homestar and Marzipan Easter egg is viewed while the Strong Bad canyon dream Easter egg is playing, the sounds from the two will overlap each other.

Inside References

• The "really old email" is a parody of the wrestling scene in Marshmallow's Last Stand, and is a repetition of a gag from personal favorites.
• The Loading... shot was also used in older cartoons.
• During the wrestling scene, Strong Bad pronounces "Strong", "Bad", "loser", and "competition" like on the Strong Bad talker.
• Strong Bad calls Lorenzo (or Fillbert) Danny.
• Strong Bad pulls the anvil, sandpaper, gasoline, and cigar from Hammerspace.
• This is another instance of Strong Bad kicking The Cheat.
• The "Booooo!" sound effects come from The Reddest Radish.
• The mustachioed Homestar in the Easter egg is from Senorial Day.
• When Homestar shakes his leg in the Easter egg, it is another reference to his pants.

Real-World References

• "Roll that beautiful email footage" is a reference to the Bush's Baked Beans commercials' "Roll that beautiful bean footage."
• Laserdisc was the first commercial optical-disc storage medium, and the precursor to modern DVDs.
• "Ramblin' Wreck of Email Check" is a reference to Georgia Tech. The first line of their fight song declares, "I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech..." Georgia Tech is in Atlanta, also home to The Brothers Chaps.
• Genghis Khan, known for his conquest of most of Asia and Europe, was a Mongolian warlord in the 13th century, which is where the "Mongolian aftershave lotion" and "Smell like a Warlord" come from.
• Crème brûlée ice cream is real ice cream, currently being made by the company Ben & Jerry.

YouTube Version

• The YouTube description for this email is "SB revisits one of his earliest (made-up) emails. Connoisseurs of late nineties flash animation will get a real kick out of it!"
• The Mustachioed Homestar Easter egg plays automatically.

DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
• There's no sound in the Strong Bad's dream Easter egg.
• The spelling of "whallop" appears to have been accidentally changed to "whalop". This error is not present on all copies of the DVD.

Commentary Transcript

MATT: I would first like to say that in the commentary for "modeling", we incorrectly talked about the Christmas song, um, "Winter Wonderland". We were calling it, "Let it Snow". And we thought it involved Frosty.

MIKE: Good job. Good job. Now that we've got that out of the way, we can talk about this email that I don't really remember very much about.

MATT: {laughs} Yeah? Is this one you haven't watched a whole lot?

MIKE: Yeah. I do remember that it's the old style wrestling match.

MATT: Yes.

MIKE: I couldn't remember what the email itself was.

MATT: Where... Did you just make up Fabrosi?

MIKE: I think so.

MATT: {laughing} Yeah? That didn't come from anywhere?

MIKE: I don't think so.

MATT: So, is Fabrosi... Which one is he? Is he the second or the third best friend? Or is he both?

MIKE: Uh... He's probably... second.

MATT: Okay.

MIKE: Yeah, Fabrosi sounds like a second best friend.

MATT: {laughs}

MIKE: Oh, I like...

MATT: {singing along with the email} The Cheat's playin' something on a Laserdisc!

MIKE: Yeah, I totally forgot about this part.

MATT: This is a good song.

MIKE: My roommate in college had a Laserdisc player in our dormroom.

MATT: I remember watching The Abyss.

MIKE: {laughs} Yep, with the director's cut, I believe.

MATT: Yeah, it had some nice surround sound. The bubbles; You could hear the bubbles all around you.

MIKE: I like what the... Uh... I like that we put in that loading screen. {both laugh} Homestar's tapping his foot... That was an old loader.

MATT: Does his body just sort of morph from being gray into that body?

{pause}

MIKE: Yeah, when we first...

MATT: Oh!

MIKE: Strong Bad's arms aren't... The outlines aren't black.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Because with the old monitor we used to use you couldn't tell the difference between black and really dark gray, and so when you watch some of that old stuff it just looks awful because the colors are way off.

MATT: {laughs} Oh, so, oh no... Fabrosi is his first best friend! {both laugh} I don't remember this email at all.

MIKE: Do you remember Don King there in the background?

MATT: {laughs} Yeah. I think we discussed this in the commentary for Marshmallow's Last Stand; There's a duck, and a Devil... {long pause} So how about Strong Bad's accent, Mike? It's the same. It's very much been consistent throughout the years.

MIKE: {laughs} Yeah, never...

MATT: {laughs} He has no arm there!

MIKE: That's an advanced technique that we never would have used back then...

MATT: No, I think we would have! We were much more ambitious back in those days, and so I tried to make it bad, but good...

MIKE: It's all angular!

MATT: Yeah, the sentiment behind it, uh, is good. But it's pulled off poorly.

MIKE: And in Marshmallow's Last Stand cartoon, the crowd noise is just inexplicably– is not there for certain scenes... And it comes back.

MATT: I think it stops.

MIKE: Yeah, at one point.

MATT: Because it was just an event... It was an event.

MIKE: Oh, that's what it was.

{pause}

MATT: He says, "holy crap" a lot.

MIKE: {laughs}

MATT: I like that old Marzipan... Is she only in that... That, what? That old game? The "She Loves Me"?

MIKE: And the old character page.

MATT: And the old character page. The stage character page... Stage page. I'll start callin' it "stage page". {pause} Look, Mungo's caviar!

MIKE: {laughs}

MATT: Theo Huxtable likes Mungo's caviar.

MIKE: And Adam... Wasn't he Adam Sandler in that episode?

MATT: He was! They went to the prom. Got dropped off in a helicopter.

MIKE: {laughs} Really?

MATT: Mm-hm. {pause} Aw... {pause, laughs} He's a star! {singing Homestar's theme} Ding ding ding ding ding da ding ding ding... {both laugh} Ah... Oh, Strong Bad! He hates it too. {pause} I never even thought– That reminds me... Uh, there's something where... Not Lionel Hutz... There's some Simpsons where somebody's asleep after watching some old Simpsons clips or something.

MIKE: {laughs} Oh really?

MATT: Yeah. Eh, well, sorry.

MIKE: Some Phil Hartman-voiced character.

{pause}

MATT: Is that the end? Doesn't look like it's the end.

{pause}

MIKE: {both laugh} He didn't make it very far.

MATT: I don't remember this email at all. I remember Genghis Khan! {both laugh} That's a good game.

Fun Facts

• The Abyss is a 1989 film written and directed by James Cameron.
• In the Simpsons episode The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular, Phil Hartman character Troy McClure falls asleep while watching Simpsons deleted scenes.

External Links

• watch "lady...ing"
• watch "lady...ing" on YouTube
• watch "lady...ing" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "lady...ing"
• forum thread re: "lady...ing"