Fortune Cookies

Seek your destiny!

A fun little "game" that gives you a new fortune every time you click on a fortune cookie. It used to be in the Museum, but it was moved to the Handheld Games Menu when the game menu was remodeled.

Date: October 29, 2000, or earlier

Page Title: Homestar Runner Fortune Cookies

List of Fortunes

Left cookie

• Maybe try and be a little funnier.
• From now on, give only high-fives.
• Switching soaps cold turkey will give you a rash.
• Start a little fire. A little one!
• Things are about to get a whole lot flimsier.
• Hey, it worked for Taft.
• Tell your boss to quit. Then take their job.
• Start putting stamps on all your emails.
• There are some dishes under your bed that you should just throw away.
• It's not lazy if it's hilarious.
• Buy me a sandwich.
• Laugh your way out of a tense bathroom situation.
• You will tire of your mayonnaise and it will grow tired of you.
• Girls shouldn't casually wear ball caps.
• The backwards alphabet is just as important as the frontwards one.
• A pillow fort simply cannot last.
• Greatness can be measured in arguments won.
• A true friend will tell you how stupid that shirt looks.
• Brush up on knock-knock jokes. They're on their way back.
• Start adding sugar to coke. That's why they put it on the table.
• A life of luxury will end in buxury.

Middle cookie

• Gimme a dollar.
• Length x width = height. No wait. I mean area.
• Make it great. Next time don't be late.
• You've got something between your teeth. Something green.
• Ask me about super-dooper savings.
• Wait by the phone. See if it rings.
• It's not mean if it's hilarious.
• Ugliness is next to you. Scooch on over.
• Have a good time, all the time.
• Stop listening to country music.
• Make a little guy out of a paperclip.
• Park in a secret place where no one can find you.
• Your primary goal will be washing up.
• You will spot a food store with your name. You aren't related.
• An authority figure will look at you through X-Ray specs.
• You will fight for a just cause, just 'cause.
• Clumsiness will bring about a change of pants.
• Your friends wonder if they met you now, would they still like you?
• Homonyms will give you trouble at a social function.
• You will avoid laundry altogether and buy more socks.

Right cookie

• www.thoraxcorp.com
• Don't skip school... skip class.
• It's not illegal if it's hilarious.
• Remember that time you lied to your mom?
• Briefly, let's discuss your underwear.
• The likelihood is great that you will bring home some bacon.
• Your potential is full, empty it out. It's starting to stink.
• Don't wait for a reason to give up, just stop trying.
• Will you go with me?
  Yes No
• Why not try some moldy bread. You might not vomit.
• Little things add up to a little bit.
• "They" say "you" are "stupid." Whatever that means.
• Treat others as if they treated you first.
• Lighten your load by doing less work.
• Pay no attention to the man in the parentheses.
• Begin saying 'toot' backwards. No one will ever know.
• Try a little levitation.
• Yellow text is hard to read.
• The truth is, banana peels just aren't that slippery.
• Stop picking at it.

Fun Facts

Trivia

You very dead.

You are not as good as most people.

• All of the slips of paper read "You are very ugly indeed" (or, possibly, "You very dead") and "You are not as good as most people" before they are completely unraveled.
  • Due to this, when "yellow text is hard to read" comes up, it's black until it's completely unfolded.
• When it asks "Will you go with me?", you can check off either answer, but nothing happens.
• There are 61 possible fortunes in all, with:
  • 21 for the first cookie.
  • 20 for the second cookie.
  • 20 for the third cookie.
• Clicking on www.thoraxcorp.com when it displays takes you to the website, meaning Thorax Corporation LLC,,. can be accessed from the main site purely through using the mouse.

Inside References

• The message "www.thoraxcorp.com" is the URL of the Thorax Corporation website.

Real-World References

• The message reading "Make a little guy out of a paper clip" may be a reference to Clippy, one of the office assistants on Microsoft Office.
• "Pay no attention to the man in the parentheses" is a reference to The Wizard of Oz.
• William Howard Taft was the 27th president of the United States of America.
• The fortune reading "Have a good time, all the time" is a reference to "This Is Spinal Tap".

Fast Forward

• Similar fortune cookies are used in Easter eggs for the Strong Bad Emails long pants and unnatural.
• The game is referenced in the bonus cartoon Why Come Only One Girl? on the Everything Else, Volume 2 DVD.
• The slogan "This good cause is good...'cause!" in Pistols for Pandas echoes one of the fortunes: "You will fight for a just cause, just 'cause."

External Links

• play "Fortune Cookies"
• play "Fortune Cookies" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "Fortune Cookies"

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Old Flash Stuff
Current	First Flash, Second Flash, Old Intro, Old Intro 2, Pom Pom, Too, Original Games Menu, Second Games Menu, She Loves Me!, Old Characters Page
Old	Who Said What Now?, Astro-Lite 2600, Fortune Cookies