The King of Town's Food

The King of Town's food is the collection of products that are chosen by the King of Town for primary consumption. His diet is odd even by Homestar Runner standards, containing a number of items that aren't normally considered edible.

Image	Appearances	Description
	Email suntan, email the bet, Strong Badia the Free	Animal Phat A brand of lard (the container says "It's lard, yo!") that the King of Town takes from Strong Bad in suntan. It later appears on the top shelf of the King's food cabinet in the bet.
	Who Said What Now?, The House That Gave Sucky Treats, Revenge of the King, email suntan, email the bet, Strong Badia the Free, Baddest of the Bands	Anything with "butter" in the name In The House That Gave Sucky Treats, all of the items the viewer can give the King of Town involve butter in some way. If given a fun-sized Butterfinger, he admits that he'll accept the treat just because it has "butter" in its name.
	Email the bet	Army-Style Mayo Army-Style Mayo is a military-worthy brand of mayonnaise. Strong Bad leaves an open can of it in the King of Town's ventilation ducts as a practical joke.
	Email the bet	Awwww Gratin Potates A 200-pound bag of Awwww Gratin Potates is stocked by the King of Town in his pantry. He is particularly proud of the fact that his bag is of the 1983 "vintage." This foodstuff is a spin on the thinly sliced potatoes and cheese dish known as "au gratin."
	The Baloneyman	Baloney sandwiches The King of Town orders several of "everything" from Bubs' Baloney Sammich Truck.
Click here to upload an image	Homestar Ruiner	Bananas Strong Bad is surprised that the King of Town would eat anything as healthy as a banana. He later uses the peel to great effect getting the uninvited party guests out of his house.
	Baddest of the Bands	Bleached buttered bats After Strong Bad pours a tureen filled with butter into a fog machine during his concert, the fog becomes buttery and covers Strong Sad's previously bleached bats in butter. This makes them irresistible to the King of Town, who greedily eats them onstage and causes the audience to cheer him on in a frenzy.
	Email the bet, Strong Badia the Free	Butter-da Butter-da is apparently some form of automotive fluid, but the King of Town enjoys it and advertises it as if it's a soda. Its tagline is "They tell me not to, but I still drinks it!" Butter-da's disclaimer: "Butter-da is noh hush a bush push leopold."
	Homestar Ruiner, Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective, Haunted Photo Booth	Cake In Haunted Photo Booth, the King of Town dresses up as Alice from the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' "Don't Come Around Here No More" music video, wherein Alice is transformed into a cake, sliced, and served. The King similarly carries a cake slice that appears to have been taken from his body.
	3 Times Halloween Funjob	Candy corn-shaped Halloween lights Marzipan hangs a string of holiday lights shaped like candy corn for Halloween. When she leaves the house to check on what might be causing electrical disturbances, she is incensed to find that the King has eaten her candy corn lights.
	Email monster truck	Cardboard boxes covered in syrup One of the events for Awexome Cross '98 is for The Cheat to roll inside the tire and jump over the King of Town eating a cardboard box covered in syrup. The King remarks that the box is a good cake. "The Mrs. Syrup" is a reference to Mrs. Butterworth's.
	Halloween Potion-ma-jig	Chicken (both baked and Kentucky Fried) The King of Town dresses up as Colonel Sanders, the mascot of the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain, and brings a bucket of chicken with his costume. He also claims to have a secret recipe with 11 herbs and spices, but the one that Homestar Runner steals is a decoy with only 10 herbs and spices.
	Homestar Ruiner	Chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts Strong Bad receives coupons for "ChocoOPPs" from Bubs, which he uses in his plan to get Marzipan to make up with Homestar Runner. However, the King of Town keeps eating the candy whenever Strong Bad places it on Marzipan's doorstep, forcing him to trick the King into falling into a pitfall.
	Email suntan, email the bet, Strong Badia the Free	Cocoa butter Strong Bad had planned to use cocoa butter in order to help him with his suntan, but the King of Town steals it from him while he's busy tanning.
	His character video	Corn dog batter Throughout his character video, the King of Town is anticipating finishing his speech and consuming the contents of a bowl he's holding, which he says at the end is filled with corn dog batter.
	Email diorama	Cotton balls Strong Bad suggests using cotton balls in a diorama, suggesting that chunks of the King of Town's beard can be used as a subsitute. The King admits that it's fair, as he had eaten all the cotton balls.
	Email retirement	Denture tablets He eats these as after-dinner mints.
	Email secret recipes	Deodorant Various brands and styles of deodorant are snacked upon by the King of Town while he is watching the soap opera Caleb Rentpayer. The deodorant labels include: "X-treme Glacier", "Old Mountain Fog", "Arctic Pure", "De-odor Cake", "Forest Rush", and "Tundra Mist". It is interesting to note that nearly all of them are named after biomes. According to the King, they're "strong enough for a man but tasty enough for a king". Strong Bad tried to gross out or make puke of the King by eating a Speed Stick with white chocolate inside.
	Donut Unto Others	Doughnuts The King of Town claims he needs about 3 to 8 million donuts to maintain his caloric intake, and forces Homestar Runner and Bubs to compete for his patronage at their respective donut shops.
Click here to upload an image	Baddest of the Bands	Electrical cable Strong Bad finds that the button that releases his amazing stage prop no longer functions, since the King of Town had chewed through the cable.
	Email the movies	Fajitas The King of Town sneaks these fajitas into the movie theater in the movies, claiming that they, along with the mariachi band accompanying his dinner, were all in his box of Milk Duds.
	Email more armies	Giblet gravy The King of Town is seen being fed giblet gravy directly through a respirator machine, making him too busy to speak with interested visitors directly.
	Email record book	Giant Pile of Salt The King of Town sucks up a giant pile of "Standard Nathan Brand" salt in record book. After eating this, he suffered multiple heart attacks (although he was not debilitated by them) which occurred in such close succession that they seemed like the hiccups. Next to the giant pile, there is the salt shaker from Meet Marshie.
	Homestar Presents: Presents	Gravied Yams One of the two foods at the "Left Out Characters Support Group & Buffet" the King of Town hosts for Decemberween. Coach Z lies to his parents saying he has gravied yams for his Decemberween feast.
	Homestarloween Party, The House That Gave Sucky Treats, Revenge of the King, email the bet, Halloween Fairstival, Homestar Presents: Presents, Halloween Potion-ma-jig, Tis True, Pom Pom, Tis True, 2022 Costume Pack Now Available	Ham The King of Town loves ham. He finds it heavenly. When going trick-or-treating, he requested that the house that gave him butterscotch candies melt them down and pour them over a ham which he carried with him. Ham and mashed potatoes are foods which slow the King down while he goes on a cannoning rampage. An X-ray of his heart shows that it is the same exact shape as a ham.
	Decemberween Short Shorts, Haunted Photo Booth	Himself As a cookie-style ornament, Homestar Runner asks if it would be wrong to want to eat oneself. The King responds that he hopes it's not. In Haunted Photo Booth, he also appears to have a slice of cake that was cut out from his own body.
	His character video	His mustache The King dispels rumors that he has tried to eat his own mustache.
	Email the bet	Ice Style Cream Ice Style Cream is an ice cream product favored by the King of Town, which he shares with Strong Bad during their sleepover. Three flavors are mentioned: "choco-gravy", "maybe mint?", and "casserole flavor".
	Email keep cool	Lard Wipt Lard Wipt is a brand name of canned whipped topping. In an Easter egg, the King of Town sneaks up behind Strong Sad with a cherry and a can of Lard Wipt, in response to Strong Bad's comment earlier in the email about Strong Sad's "disturbing soft-serve flip".
	Decemberween Short Shorts	Last Three Items in the Pantry Special In response to Ornament Strong Bad's threat that he would stuff the ornament King of Town full of coal, the King replies that "that wouldn't be so bad" and that it wouldn't be the first time, followed by mentioning the other ingredients of the "$f.ood" concoction, consisting of onion salt, hot sauce, and lumps of coal.
	Email flashback	Lifetime Supply of fish sticks In flashback, a lifetime supply of fish sticks pops out of the egg (and a The Cheat). In an Easter egg, it is implied that the then svelte, young Prince of Town ate the fish sticks, and this is why the King is so weighty today.
	Strong Badia the Free	Map After putting Strong Bad under house arrest, the King of Town eats his map in order to prevent him from escaping his house.
	One Two, One Two	Marshmallows The King of Town eats loudly and rhythmically from two piles of marshmallows.
	Email sbemail 206	Mirror As part of an April Fools' Day prank, Strong Bad gets the King to eagerly eat a hand mirror, claiming it's his long-lost twin brother.
	Email nightlife	Motherboard (covered in 70% cacao) Confused on what "Club Technochocolate" is, the King starts his own club where he dips electronics in chocolate.
	Most in the Graveyard	Pickled monkey fingers Strong Bad carries pickled monkey fingers into the graveyard with him to use in a ritual to reanimate a dead body. When they go missing, the King denies knowledge of their whereabouts while fleeing the scene quickly.
	Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 2.0, The King of Town's Very Own Quite Popular Cartoon Show, email pizza joint, Homestar Ruiner	Pizza The King of Town's chef delivers a pizza to the castle, which the King happily shares with everyone else. He orders a Thanksgiving lover's pizza from The Pizz. He also wolfs down and slobbers all over several vegetarian pizzas at Marzipan's victory party.
	Email business trip	Cans of Pork b/w Beans The King of Town, as the "foreign conglomerate" demands that Strong Bad and Homestar Runner provide him with units in exchange for a piece of lasagna. Homestar had packed several cans, but only managed to smuggle two of them past airport security. The King accepts them anyway.
	Email the bet, email boring (really)	Pork Ramblins and Pork Snagglins Pork Ramblins and Pork Snagglins are kept in a large supply in the King of Town's pantry. They are most likely two different kinds of pork rinds, but the difference between Ramblins and Snagglins is unclear.
	Email the bet	Potate One of the items the King keeps in his pantry at the castle.
	Bug In Mouth Disease	Prescription ice cream The King and Pom Pom are both eating chocolate-covered popsicles when Homestar Runner steals and eats them, claiming it will help him "freeze out" the bug that he accidentally swallowed. The King protests that his ice cream is prescription.
	Pumpkin Carve-nival	Pumpkin Pie Provided a pumpkin to carve for a contest, the King of Town finds that his pumpkin looked particularly luscious and baked it into pumpkin pie. He had eaten most of it before entering the remainder of the pie into the contest.
	Email rated	Puppies The King of Town asks that the Poopsmith pack his bags and plastic fangs after hearing Strong Bad claim that in Transylvania, it is required by law to eat puppies for breakfast.
	3 Times Halloween Funjob	Raw eggs Strong Bad offers the King a dozen eggs and a roll of toilet paper in exchange for the King leaving them alone. The King accepts the offer readily, and eats the eggs without bothering to cook them.
	Email winter pool	Red Flavored Fluffy Puff Translucent Dessert Related Substance After Strong Bad and his gang filling up the empty municipal pool with gelatin and subsequently becoming trapped inside it, the Poopsmith signals to the King to eat the entire pool's worth of gelatin in order to free everyone.
	The Best Decemberween Ever	Roast bunnies In the song sung at the end of The Best Decemberween Ever, the King of Town is seen holding up a roast bunny, wishing it was supersized.
	Homestarloween Party, Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 2.0 (mentioned)	Salisbury sundaes While trying to invite Marzipan to his banquet after getting interrupted twice, the King gets so excited over hearing that his lifetime supple of Salisbury sundaes has arrived that he announces he's never calling Marzipan again.
	Email the bet	Schenectady Crispies One of the items the King keeps in his pantry.
Click here to upload an image	8-Bit is Enough	Scorpion Food (as Munchox) When the boundary between reality and video games is broken, the King of Town is transformed into a scorpion beast called Munchox the Devourer. In order to lure Munchox into attacking Strong Sad, Strong Bad gives Strong Sad a cube of scorpion food and claims it is actually the quest item Strong Sad wanted.
	The King of Town DVD	Sheep (lamb chops) The King of Town is distressed that his sheep are missing, and believes that a dragon may have eaten them. Homestar Runner later discovers their actual fate, as the King had forgotten that he had eaten them himself.
	Where's The Cheat?	Steak The King of Town brings a steak to prepare on his grill, only to find that The Cheat is sleeping there, and that The Cheat also maintains a permanent residence there.
	Email keep cool	Strong Sad's "disturbing soft-serve flip" While Strong Sad is giving the weather forecast, the King of Town sneaks up behind him with a cherry and a can of Lard Wipt, in response to Strong Bad's comment earlier in the email about Strong Sad's "disturbing soft-serve flip".
	Homestar Presents: Presents	Stuffinged Ham One of the two foods at the "Left Out Characters Support Group & Buffet" the King of Town hosts for Decemberween. Coach Z lies to his parents saying he has stuffinged ham at his Decemberween feast.
	Strong Badia the Free	Swiss Cake Rolls (Creamy Ding Snack Cakes) The King of Town imposes a tax on emails in the form of one snack cake for each email sent or received. He then imprisons Strong Bad inside his own house for his failure to pay. Strong Bad later turns the tables by imposing a tax on the King's snack cakes.
	Email for kids, Strong Badia the Free	The KOT's Good Gravy This foodstuff is found in an Easter egg by clicking on the words "Good gravy". It is sold in 104 oz. cans, and its slogan is "I don't lets the Poopsmith near it!"
	3 Times Halloween Funjob	Toilet paper Strong Bad offers the King a dozen eggs and a roll of toilet paper in exchange for the King leaving him, Strong Mad, and The Cheat alone.
	Halloween Fairstival	Turduckens The King of Town sponsors an event at the annual Halloween fair. In a variation of the traditional "bobbing for apples", he creates "bobbing for Turduckens", which are submerged in mashed potatoes.
Click here to upload an image	Strong Badia the Free	Turkey legs Strong Bad finds a pair of turkey legs in the King's refrigerated throne.
	No Hands On Deck!	TV remote control The King of Town spits out a remote control after Homestar Runner announces that he is going to build a deck.
	Email fan club, I Killed Pom Pom	Whatsit Strong Bad writes in a story that the King of Town ate an entire pile of whatsit. The King sadly replies that he wishes it was fiction. Later, the King tells the Poopsmith that he didn't eat the pile of whatsit, and uses Homestar Runner as a convenient patsy to blame for eating the pile.
Click here to upload an image	Baddest of the Bands	Wii Remote While Strong Bad is searching for other musicians to recruit for his own band at the Battle of the Bands, the King of Town is seen eating a Wii Remote; Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People was playable on the Wii and heavily marketed with Wii Remotes.
	Email unnatural	Wooden tables While a giant Bubs is going on a rampage across town, the King is minding his own business at a wooden table with several bites taken out of it.

Unseen Foods

Appearances	Description
Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon	Biscuit dough The King of Town describes the perpetrator who stole his crown as having "hands shaped like biscuit dough". Later, after returning home, he remarks that he feels like eating biscuit dough.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 11.2	Buffalo wings The King of Town phones Marzipan in distress over his missing napkin, "The Flamingo", which he uses when eating buffalo wings. He says he has "like, fifty frickin' wings" which he can't eat without it.
Homestar Ruiner	Buttermilk After falling into a pitfall, the King asks Strong Bad to throw him down a glass of buttermilk, as he's getting awfully hungry.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2	Camels While reporting to Marzipan about their plot against Strong Sad, the King mentions that the camel used for step 2 of the plan had died and was "decidedly undelicious".
Strong Badia the Free	Chili mac After being tricked into taking the title of King back, the King of Town complains, "What's a king gotta do to get some chili mac up in here?"
Marzipan's Answering Machine version 16.2	Chocolate-dipped tapeworms While calling Marzipan, the King is so preoccupied with eating a chocolate-dipped tapeworm that he doesn't hear that the outgoing message on her answering machine is from Strong Sad, causing him to inadvertently reveal that they are plotting together against him.
Homestar Ruiner	Cold cuts While explaining why he is too mad to want to talk to Strong Bad, the King mentions having been lured away from a cart full of cold cuts and mini-breads.
Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective	Danishes After Strong Bad, as Dangeresque, says that he always gets the last laugh and the last danish, the King, as Perducci claims that "No one gets the last danish in [his] house".
Toikey TV	Fried turkey The King of Town goes on television with an important public service announcement telling people that thousands of families suffer from not-fried turkeys, and encourages viewers to fry their Thanksgiving turkeys.
Jibblies 2, Homestar Ruiner, Strong Badia the Free, Halloween Hide & Seek	Giblets Confusing the word "jibblies", the King of Town decides he would like some of the "giblet flu" that's been going around because it sounds delicious. He then gets the jibblies shortly afterward. In Halloween Hide & Seek he again mentions the giblets and claims the giblets were a lie when shown the Jibblies Painting. In Strong Badia the Free, Bubs complains that the King is buying up all his stolen organs, except he calls them "giblets". Similarly, Bubs guesses that Strong Sad's pretendix is a batch of homemade meats.
Most in the Graveyard	Hello Kitty erasers When asked why he had dressed up as Hello Kitty, the King of Town answers that he dressed up as his favorite candy, which Strong Bad says that he is pretty sure were actually erasers.
Homestar Ruiner	His foot Apparently, the King of Town has managed to accidentally swallow his foot at least twice.
Homestar Ruiner	His tongue The King bites his tongue by accident while eating something, and finds that it tastes pretty good.
Strong Badia the Free	Jelly beans After slapping Strong Bad with a massive tax for e-mails and placing him under house arrest, the King leaves with the Poopsmith to begin collecting on his "pour an entire bag of jelly beans down [his] gullet" tax.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 2.0	Lamb The King of Town keeps trying to invite Marzipan to a banquet at his castle, but is too ecstatic when his leg of lamb arrives to stay on the line.
Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective	Macadamia nuts The King asks to be given some macadamias in advance for his royalties of Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective merchandise sales, having already blown through his cashew salary for the movie.
Email original	Mayonnaise Original Bubs quits the show when he finds that someone has eaten all the mayonnaise off his egg salad, but left the salad. The King of Town claims that he can't reveal how he did it.
Homestar Ruiner	Swedish meatballs When Coach Z asks Pom Pom to help send the latter's performance in the Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race to the offical review committee in Stockholm, Sweden, the King mentions wanting to go for some meatballs, "or some inexpensive but stylish furniture".
Email the movies	Milk Duds The King likes to sneak all-you-can-eat fajitas into the movie theater, but claims that everything was packed inside his box of Milk Duds.
Homestar Ruiner	Mini-breads While explaining why he is too mad to want to talk to Strong Bad, the King mentions having been lured away from a cart full of cold cuts and mini-breads.
Homestar Ruiner	Nougat The King decides that he will start calling Thursday "Nougatday", which will be filled with rich, creamy nougat.
Baddest of the Bands	Oatmeal One of five options the King suggests for the center initial of the band DÖI.
Baddest of the Bands	Octopus One of five options the King suggests for the center initial of the band DÖI.
Baddest of the Bands	Oliveloaf One of five options the King suggests for the center initial of the band DÖI.
Baddest of the Bands	Omelette One of five options the King suggests for the center initial of the band DÖI.
Baddest of the Bands	Oysters One of five options the King suggests for the center initial of the band DÖI.
Halloween Hide & Seek	Plasticine After Homestar Runner mentions that he tried to eat plasticine as a kid, the King admits that he's guilty of doing so as well.
Halloween Potion-ma-jig	Regurgitated food (at least a ham sandwich that Homestar Runner ate) After Homestar Runner relates a story where he discovers a ham sandwich that the King buried years ago and subsequently ate, Homestar ends the tale saying he almost felt like puking it back up onto his plate. The King replies that he wishes Homestar had.
Homestar Ruiner	Royal bologna In his castle, the King demands someone fetch him his royal bologna.
Homestar Ruiner	Royal custard The King of Town wonders where his royal custard is, refusing to take a bath without it.
Mr. Poofers Must Die	Sea Monkey Po'boys The Poopsmith dresses up as a sea monkey. The King claims that's not actually the Poopsmith, but rather he has managed to breed sea monkeys large enough to make po'boys out of them.
8-Bit is Enough	Strudel When appearing in Trogdor's lair as Robo-King of Town, the King shouts "mein strudel!"
Kick-A-Ball	Sunflower seeds After striking out in Kick-A-Ball, the King is loaded into a catapult and fired. He is dismayed that he didn't even receive any sunflower seeds before being ejected from the game.
Strong Badia the Free	Thin gravy film After reading that Strong Bad has imposed a tax on Creamy Ding Snack Cakes, the King is appalled, and compares it to placing a tax on the laughter of a child, or the thin film that forms on gravy when left out too long.

See Also

• The King of Town's Health Problems
• Foods
• Decemberween Food
• Minor Foods
• Eating Non-Food Items
• Strong Sad's Diet