The Interview

This article is about the short. For the Strong Bad Email, see interview. For the real-world interviews, see Interviews and Public Appearances.

"Well, if you take a look at my reh-zoom..."

Strong Bad has decided to interview Homestar to find out what his "freakin' problem" is. As expected, the process is quite painful.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad, The Cheat

Places: Smoky Office, Marshmallow's Last Stand, The Field

Date: on or before June 4, 2002

Running Time: 2:47

Page Title: Interview

Page Title for unfinished version: Metro.pop Interview

DVD:Everything Else, Volume 1

Transcript

{opens with Strong Bad on a typewriter in the Smoky Office, which has the words "Strong Bad; Total Journalist" on the window. The "camera" rotates around Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: {narrating, typing} Truly there are few guys as stupid as Homestar Runner. But I wanted to unravel all the idiotic ramblings and speech impediments, and get down to the chewy caramel center of this no-armed whitey. What I found was not pretty. It was slimy and smelly and kinda stung my eyes.

{cut to Marshmallow's Last Stand, where Strong Bad is sitting. We can see Homestar walk by several times while he talks.}

STRONG BAD: {narrating} So, Dumbstar has me meet him in this fruity little marshmallow stand he always goes to. He kept me waiting for a good half hour and I actually watched him walk by the place three or four times before he finally came in.

{Homestar enters and sits down.}

STRONG BAD: What the crap were you doing out there?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Out where?

STRONG BAD: Outside! I watched you prance by, like, five times, man.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I doubt it. I drove.

STRONG BAD: You don't own a car.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, you're probably right.

STRONG BAD: Okay, let's get down to brass tacks.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ohhh, I didn't bring any. I drove.

STRONG BAD: Augh, this is gonna be painful.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What, the tacks? I bet. Try not to sit on 'em.

STRONG BAD: No, stupid! This is an interview!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, well allow me to introduce myself. My name is Homestar Runner, and I feel that I would be a great asset to your company.

STRONG BAD: Okay, shut up. Now, first question: What's your freakin' problem?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {hands over a grocery list} Well if you take a look at my resume {pronounces it "reh-zoom"}, you'll see that I have quite a bit of experience in many different related fields.

STRONG BAD: Cut the crap! Just tell me what your freaking problem is!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I can't really think of any.

STRONG BAD: {groaning} Ohhhh. Moving on. I've heard that you enjoy prancing around like an idiot. Is this true?

{Homestar is outside prancing around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} La-dee-la-da-da-la-dee.

STRONG BAD: I suppose that answers my question. {Homestar enters and sits down.} Now, tell us about your girlfriend Marzipan. What's her deal?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: She told me today that she thinks your baking has really improved lately.

STRONG BAD: Oh, my baking, eh? I like to enjoy baking every once and again.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Interesting. I'll take note of that. {pulls out a notepad and pen} So, what else do you do in your spare time?

STRONG BAD: Well, I like to do the Jumble sometimes and —hey, wait! I'm asking the questions here! So, who do you think would win in a fight: Strong Sad or The Cheat?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, man. That's not even fair.

{Cuts to The Field with Strong Sad and The Cheat. As Homestar talks, what he says is added to the scene.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} The Cheat would win with both hands duct-taped behind his back, and with little pieces of duct tape covering his eyes, and Strong Sad could have a spear even.

{The Cheat jumps on Strong Sad, knocking him down, and the spear flies behind the Cheat, cutting the duct tape from his hands as it sticks in the ground. The Cheat then removes the duct tape from his eyes and grabs the spear.}

STRONG SAD: En garde?

{cuts back to Marshmallow's Last Stand.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa-ho-ho! Good answer. We might have to set that up someday.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.

STRONG BAD: Well, it can only go down from here, so... get out of my face.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {outside prancing around, singing} La-dee-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-doo-doo...

Fun Facts

Trivia

• Homestar's grocery list reads:
  

>eggs
>beans
>five
>dentifrice
>macho nachos
>jam

Remarks

• This is the first time that Homestar's speech impediment and lack of arms are explicitly mentioned.
• In the Yello Dello commentary, Strong Bad states that he has never worn oven mitts. However, he does enjoy baking, as revealed by this cartoon and is reinforced in the first installment of Marzipan's Answering Machine, as well as The Best Decemberween Ever.
• When Homestar talks, the edges of his eyes and hat vary with each mouth shape.
• When Homestar walks into Marshmallow's Last Stand, you hear nothing even though there is a bell attached to the door. The bell can be seen when Strong Bad and Homestar Runner are shown from the side.
• Both Strong Sad and The Cheat are shown in their older designs in this toon.
• The shadow of the window blinds does not completely match up with the actual window. The straps that hold up the blinds are not seen in the shadow and neither are the drawstrings.
• Strong Bad's silhouette is black, while Homestar's is blue.
• Note some of the following differences from the finished version in the unfinished version:
  • Strong Bad says "Thanks for your time" instead of "Get out of my face" at the end.
  • Homestar does not pull out his pen and notebook.
  • Homestar does not pass Strong Bad his shopping list résumé.
  • Homestar walks by in the order left, right, left, instead of always walking to the left.
  • Strong Bad waits until after Homestar sits down in the chair to say, "What the crap were you doing out there?"
  • Strong Sad doesn't say "en garde" when he is fighting The Cheat.
  • Strong Bad's eyes appear in an older style, without the newer gleam.
  • There are no sound effects in the sequence with Strong Sad and The Cheat, as well as the opening typewriter sequence.
  • Strong Bad's office door isn't shown at the beginning.
  • Strong Bad and Homestar do not move their mouths while talking several times.
  • The bushes in the background, particularly in Strong Sad and The Cheat's scene, are drawn in a shorter, less detailed way.
  • The words "Marshmallow's Last Stand" and the bell aren't on the door.
  • Homestar isn't seen prancing past the window at the end.
  • The toon repeats itself.
  • The unfinished toon's page URL link is interview2.html when the new one's is interview.html making it seem like the older toon was made after the new one.
  • There is no navbar in the unfinished version.
  • The table at Marshmallow's Last Stand is textured, unlike the newer version of the toon where it looks smooth.
    • When the table is shown from the side view, it looks smooth like the new version.
• Strong Bad says that the Marshmallow Stand that they interviewed at is "fruity". This is sometimes used as a derogatory term for homosexual.

Goofs

• The ashtray doesn't rotate with the rest of the Smoky Office.
• Strong Bad's arms are missing during the Smoky Office rotation scene.
• When the camera rotates to in front of Strong Bad, you can see that his body becomes detached from his head. When it's right in front of him, you can see his neck behind his right boxing glove as he's typing.
• The right side (from the viewer's perspective) of Strong Bad's desk in the Smoky Office suddenly disappears when the view of the scene stops rotating.
• Whenever Homestar speaks, his hat bends a little bit and his eyes shapeshift a bit.

Inside References

• The location of the interview is Marshmallow's Last Stand, which was also featured in an old toon by the same name.
• Homestar's prancing and singing is the same as in Tis True, Pom Pom, Tis True.
• Strong Bad first asked Marzipan for help with baking in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 1.0.

Real-World References

• Homestar's line, "Yeah, yeah, that'd be great," is likely a reference to the character Bill Lumbergh in the Mike Judge film Office Space.

Fast Forward

• Strong Bad mentions that he enjoys doing Jumbles. This is also revealed in the email caper, where Strong Bad and The Cheat break into Homestar's house to steal his Jumbles.
• The room in which Strong Bad is typing on a typewriter is the same as Dangeresque's office in stunt double and dangeresque 3.
• Strong Sad actually beats The Cheat when they encounter each other during Maps and Minions towards the end of Strong Badia the Free.

DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Homestar Runner)

MIKE: Total Journalist, eh, S—Matt, er, Strong Bad.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, it's Homestar!

MIKE: Oh, it's Homestar!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You are so mixed up!

MIKE: Look at this 3D-ness right here, {incomprehensible} Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {simultaneously} Whoa. Strong Bad has a flat face.

MIKE: That—we used a—I think we used a jib arm for that, maybe?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: A jib—I like the cut of your jib arm, Mike.

MIKE: Thanks. So, uh...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look at that! Strong Bad's smoking it out!

MIKE: You know, we did this interview for a... magazine, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {simultaneously} A maze-a-gheen!

MIKE: A maze-a-gheen called Metropop and, uh—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I remember! It was Paul Frank!

MIKE: ...we decided to make a cartoon of it. And originally, it was just exclusive in the magazine; it had the URL, and—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right; it was secretly hidden!

MIKE: That's right.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And then we got away with—with not having to do a cartoon one week!

MIKE: There you are, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: 'Cause this was done. Look; why's my shirt so pink?

MIKE: It's not quite as red as it is nowadays, is it?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah!

MIKE: It's more of a magenta.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What gives? Turn up my CMYK, Mike.

MIKE: {softly} Right.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad's neck seems longer than normal. {brief pause, Homestar in the toon says, "My name is Homestar Runner."} That's still true!

MIKE: I know. So, you're interviewing for a job, here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, I thought I was. But then—

MIKE: {simultaneously} Have you gotten a job yet?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I did! I think. I got hired... yeah, see.

MIKE: Your... your résumé has dentifrice on it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {laughs} Yeah.

MIKE: And beans.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {laughing} Right. I have a lot of experience of experience in both... fields.

MIKE: Okay. Do you have teeth?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Umm, Mike, let's change the subject abruptly.

MIKE: {laughs}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: There I go! Um, so... why is my silhouette purple?

MIKE: I—I don't know. It should be—I would prefer it to be black.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. That was tha—Is that how you do it these days?

MIKE: Yeah.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. Sometimes I go to this marshmallow place with Marzipan. {brief pause} Did you know that?

MIKE: I—I've seen you there once.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. I said some—ti—one times.

MIKE: We use that notebook a lot.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah!

MIKE: We've used that notebook that you're using a few times since then.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Really? What else do I use it?

MIKE: Well, I know Strong Bad uses it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh yeah?

MIKE: Yeah. Uh, a couple times.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. This is unfair.

MIKE: People always—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I feel like this is mis—mitch-match—mitch-matched.

MIKE: People always email Strong Bad and ask him to set up the fight between The Cheat and Strong Sad.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But they just saw it!

MIKE: But they just saw it! But they still—I don't get it!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It was in my brains, but they saw it.

MIKE: It was in your brains?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I think.

MIKE: Yeah.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It was a little drippy in there.

MIKE: Yeah.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Watch out. For some cerebral fluids.

MIKE: That's enough, Homestar. I don't want to talk about you. Or talk to you.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sounding hurt} Oh.

External Links

• watch "The Interview"
• watch "The Interview" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "The Interview"
• watch an unfinished version of "The Interview" (not always functional)
• view the Flash file for the unfinished version of "The Interview" (not always functional)

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