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| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/4/41/Subtitles_Project_Logo.png/80px-Subtitles_Project_Logo.png'''WM0'''
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'''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[animal]].''' [https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail119.html watch this toon]
'''[[HRWiki:Subtitles|HRWikiSubtitlesProject]]'''
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome.<br />It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/sbemail119/en local viewer].
 
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| '''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[animal]].''' <span class="hovul" style="font-size:smaller;background:#EEE;border:1px #999 solid;padding:2px;margin-left:6px;white-space:nowrap">[https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail119.html watch this toon]</span>
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To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome.<br />
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/sbemail119/en local viewer].
 
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<div class="hovul" style="font-size:70%; text-align:right;">
'''en''' 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail119/de|de]] 
'''en'''  [[Subtitles:sbemail119/de|de]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail119/he|he]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail119/es|es]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail119/fr|fr]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail119/nl|nl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail119/fi|fi]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail119/pl|pl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail119/pt-br|pt-br]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail119/tr|tr]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail119/he|he]] 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail119/es|es]] 
</div>
[[Subtitles:sbemail119/fr|fr]] 
<pre>&lt;?xml version=&quot;1.0&quot; encoding=&quot;utf-8&quot;?&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail119/nl|nl]] 
&lt;transcript xml:lang=&quot;en-us&quot; file=&quot;sbemail119.swf&quot; width=&quot;550&quot; height=&quot;400&quot;&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail119/fi|fi]] 
    &lt;line start=&quot;19&quot; end=&quot;95&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;wind howls&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail119/pl|pl]] 
    &lt;line start=&quot;96&quot; end=&quot;153&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;It is a time of desolation, chaos, and uncertainty.&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail119/pt-br|pt-br]] 
    &lt;line start=&quot;157&quot; end=&quot;205&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Brother pitted against brother; babies havin' babies.&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail119/tr|tr]]
    &lt;line start=&quot;207&quot; end=&quot;241&quot;&gt;
      &lt;strongbad voiceover=&quot;keepithere&quot;&gt;Then one day, from the right side of the screen,&lt;/strongbad&gt;
      &lt;sfx&gt;wind stops howling&lt;/sfx&gt;
    &lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;246&quot; end=&quot;261&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;came a man.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;266&quot; end=&quot;302&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;A man with a plastic rectangle...&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;310&quot; end=&quot;339&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I MEAN LAPTOP COMPUTER!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;341&quot; end=&quot;386&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;start-up noise&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;387&quot; end=&quot;483&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Now that is a classy start-up noise! Dong...ding! And check out all these speculations!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;491&quot; end=&quot;544&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;The Lappy 486 weighs in at an extremely portable forty-two pounds&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;547&quot; end=&quot;594&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;and features an impressive battery life of one half of ten minutes.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;596&quot; end=&quot;625&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;The Lappy 486 by Compy.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;626&quot; end=&quot;648&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;audience applauds&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;649&quot; end=&quot;664&quot;&gt;
        &lt;sfx&gt;audience applauds&lt;/sfx&gt;
        &lt;strongbad&gt;All right! Let's see if this bad boy can check some email.&lt;/strongbad&gt;
    &lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;665&quot; end=&quot;683&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;All right! Let's see if this bad boy can check some email.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;694&quot; end=&quot;767&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Dear Strong Bad, What would you like as if you were your own made up animal Sincerely, Spud Jr.&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;772&quot; end=&quot;843&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Come now, Spud Jr. What would Spud Sr. think of such nightmarish grammar and punctuation?&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;845&quot; end=&quot;891&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;And poor Spudmom. &lt;em&gt;&quot;What would you like as if...&quot;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;897&quot; end=&quot;941&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I at least hope you're good at sports, for their sake. All right, I'm done.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;946&quot; end=&quot;1038&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Well Stu-Pud Jr., if I was my own made up animal, I would probably like as the coolest made up animal ever made up.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1041&quot; end=&quot;1077&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I would have all the cool animal options and accessories:&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1081&quot; end=&quot;1091&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Claws&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1093&quot; end=&quot;1102&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Horns&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1104&quot; end=&quot;1113&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Tusks&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1116&quot; end=&quot;1124&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Tentacles&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1128&quot; end=&quot;1140&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Power Doors&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1142&quot; end=&quot;1165&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;15 Year Drivetrain Warranty&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1170&quot; end=&quot;1182&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Proboscis&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1184&quot; end=&quot;1202&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Segmented Eyes&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1205&quot; end=&quot;1261&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;I say there, Monstrosity! Do you know the times?&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1296&quot; end=&quot;1341&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh. I guess I couldn't really talk with that proboscis.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1350&quot; end=&quot;1398&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Not that I'd have much of an answer for &quot;Do you know the times,&quot; anyway.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1403&quot; end=&quot;1464&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Hmmm. Maybe I could be one of those deep-sea fangly fishes.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1467&quot; end=&quot;1537&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;You know, the kind that have Christmas lights all over them, and those custom lures hanging over their heads.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1538&quot; end=&quot;1599&quot; speaker=&quot;pbtchomestar&quot;&gt;Right this way, everyone! Free puppies, ginger snaps, Pocket PCs...&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1600&quot; end=&quot;1648&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;'Cept I'd also have an awesome back deck on me for dinner and dancing!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1655&quot; end=&quot;1724&quot; speaker=&quot;pbtcstrongbad&quot;&gt;Hey there, Baby Styles, do you want to watch me bench-press a lot... of weights?&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1731&quot; end=&quot;1772&quot; speaker=&quot;pbtchomestar&quot;&gt;Turn it out, Strong Bad, turn it out!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1774&quot; end=&quot;1836&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Oh, wait. How could I enjoy the dinner and dancing if I'm already the fanglyfish?&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1845&quot; end=&quot;1910&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Maybe I'm overthinking this. I should just come up with a cool name and the rest will like as itself.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;1914&quot; end=&quot;2006&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I would be called... da huuuuuudge.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2007&quot; end=&quot;2017&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;The Hudge!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2026&quot; end=&quot;2054&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Eew! No. No Hudge.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2055&quot; end=&quot;2083&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt;Oh, wow! Look at the Hudge!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2085&quot; end=&quot;2146&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Um... How about...the red steckled elbermung?&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2154&quot; end=&quot;2166&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;No no no.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2173&quot; end=&quot;2192&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Um...the pardack?&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2195&quot; end=&quot;2237&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;What the? Why do these keep coming out as nasty blob things?&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2240&quot; end=&quot;2322&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Okay, okay, okay. Gotta look good for the Lappy. My made up animal would be called&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2331&quot; end=&quot;2343&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Sterrance.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2350&quot; end=&quot;2425&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Hey, I did it! Look at Sterrance. Aw, Sterrance! I want one!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2430&quot; end=&quot;2477&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;Sterrance is way cuter than that stupid ugly old washed-up The Cheat I used to have.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2483&quot; end=&quot;2493&quot; speaker=&quot;thecheat&quot;&gt;angry The Cheat noises&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2494&quot; end=&quot;2525&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh, Captain Past-His-Prime himself.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2526&quot; end=&quot;2531&quot; speaker=&quot;thecheat&quot;&gt;angry The Cheat noises&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2532&quot; end=&quot;2563&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Yeah, I know you heard me. And I stand by it.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2564&quot; end=&quot;2582&quot; speaker=&quot;thecheat&quot;&gt;angry The Cheat noises&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2584&quot; end=&quot;2659&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Don't worry about him, Lappy. That's just The Cheat. He uses &lt;em&gt;new&lt;/em&gt; computers. Psssh!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2661&quot; end=&quot;2690&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;The Paper, come on down and meet your new brother!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2700&quot; end=&quot;2709&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Come on!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2718&quot; end=&quot;2730&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;It's okay!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2733&quot; end=&quot;2753&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;No, ah! Come on!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2758&quot; end=&quot;2799&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Lappy's not going to bite you or tear at your perforated edges!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2807&quot; end=&quot;2818&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;That's it!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2826&quot; end=&quot;2876&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Lappy, this is The Paper. He lets me know when I've stopped being funny!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2886&quot; end=&quot;2912&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh! Sorry. Bye, everybody.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2930&quot; end=&quot;2959&quot; speaker=&quot;announcer&quot;&gt;Second-place contestants receive deep sea fanglyfish.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2961&quot; end=&quot;2979&quot; speaker=&quot;announcer&quot;&gt;Promotional considerations by Sterrance.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;2980&quot; end=&quot;3010&quot; speaker=&quot;announcer&quot;&gt;Strong Bad's wardrobe furnished by Styles Upon Styles.&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;3024&quot; end=&quot;3067&quot; speaker=&quot;pbtchomestar&quot;&gt;Steep prices and trees!&lt;/line&gt;
    &lt;line start=&quot;3112&quot; end=&quot;3190&quot; speaker=&quot;pbtchomestar&quot;&gt;Hey there, Baby Styles. This is a nice dancing club, right? Do you have a phone at your house?&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;/transcript&gt;</pre>
<div id="catlinks" class="catlinks">
 
<div id="mw-normal-catlinks">
 
[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">[[Category:English Subtitles|English Subtitles]]</span>
 
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</div>
<pre>
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail119.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="19" end="95" speaker="sfx">wind howls</line>
    <line start="96" end="153" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It is a time of desolation, chaos, and uncertainty.</line>
    <line start="157" end="205" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Brother pitted against brother; babies havin' babies.</line>
    <line start="207" end="241">
      <strongbad voiceover="keepithere">Then one day, from the right side of the screen,</strongbad>
      <sfx>wind stops howling</sfx>
    </line>
    <line start="246" end="261" speaker="strongbad">came a man.</line>
    <line start="266" end="302" speaker="strongbad">A man with a plastic rectangle...</line>
    <line start="310" end="339" speaker="strongbad">I MEAN LAPTOP COMPUTER!</line>
    <line start="341" end="386" speaker="sfx">start-up noise</line>
    <line start="387" end="483" speaker="strongbad">Now that is a classy start-up noise! Dong...ding! And check out all these speculations!</line>
    <line start="491" end="544" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Lappy 486 weighs in at an extremely portable forty-two pounds</line>
    <line start="547" end="594" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and features an impressive battery life of one half of ten minutes.</line>
    <line start="596" end="625" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Lappy 486 by Compy.</line>
    <line start="626" end="648" speaker="sfx">audience applauds</line>
    <line start="649" end="664">
        <sfx>audience applauds</sfx>
        <strongbad>All right! Let's see if this bad boy can check some email.</strongbad>
    </line>
    <line start="665" end="683" speaker="strongbad">All right! Let's see if this bad boy can check some email.</line>
    <line start="694" end="767" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, What would you like as if you were your own made up animal Sincerely, Spud Jr."</line>
    <line start="772" end="843" speaker="strongbad">Come now, Spud Jr. What would Spud Sr. think of such nightmarish grammar and punctuation?</line>
    <line start="845" end="891" speaker="strongbad">And poor Spudmom. <em>"What would you like as if..."</em></line>
    <line start="897" end="941" speaker="strongbad">I at least hope you're good at sports, for their sake. All right, I'm done.</line>
    <line start="946" end="1038" speaker="strongbad">Well Stu-Pud Jr., if I was my own made up animal, I would probably like as the coolest made up animal ever made up.</line>
    <line start="1041" end="1077" speaker="strongbad">I would have all the cool animal options and accessories:</line>
    <line start="1081" end="1091" speaker="strongbad">Claws</line>
    <line start="1093" end="1102" speaker="strongbad">Horns</line>
    <line start="1104" end="1113" speaker="strongbad">Tusks</line>
    <line start="1116" end="1124" speaker="strongbad">Tentacles</line>
    <line start="1128" end="1140" speaker="strongbad">Power Doors</line>
    <line start="1142" end="1165" speaker="strongbad">15 Year Drivetrain Warranty</line>
    <line start="1170" end="1182" speaker="strongbad">Proboscis</line>
    <line start="1184" end="1202" speaker="strongbad">Segmented Eyes</line>
    <line start="1205" end="1261" speaker="homestar">I say there, Monstrosity! Do you know the times?</line>
    <line start="1296" end="1341" speaker="strongbad">Oh. I guess I couldn't really talk with that proboscis.</line>
    <line start="1350" end="1398" speaker="strongbad">Not that I'd have much of an answer for "Do you know the times," anyway.</line>
    <line start="1403" end="1464" speaker="strongbad">Hmmm. Maybe I could be one of those deep-sea fangly fishes.</line>
    <line start="1467" end="1537" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You know, the kind that have Christmas lights all over them, and those custom lures hanging over their heads.</line>
    <line start="1538" end="1599" speaker="pbtchomestar">Right this way, everyone! Free puppies, ginger snaps, Pocket PCs...</line>
    <line start="1600" end="1648" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">'Cept I'd also have an awesome back deck on me for dinner and dancing!</line>
    <line start="1655" end="1724" speaker="pbtcstrongbad">Hey there, Baby Styles, do you want to watch me bench-press a lot... of weights?</line>
    <line start="1731" end="1772" speaker="pbtchomestar">Turn it out, Strong Bad, turn it out!</line>
    <line start="1774" end="1836" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, wait. How could I enjoy the dinner and dancing if I'm already the fanglyfish?</line>
    <line start="1845" end="1910" speaker="strongbad">Maybe I'm overthinking this. I should just come up with a cool name and the rest will like as itself.</line>
    <line start="1914" end="2006" speaker="strongbad">I would be called... da huuuuuudge.</line>
    <line start="2007" end="2017" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Hudge!</line>
    <line start="2026" end="2054" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Eew! No. No Hudge.</line>
    <line start="2055" end="2083" speaker="marzipan">Oh, wow! Look at the Hudge!</line>
    <line start="2085" end="2146" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um... How about...the red steckled elbermung?</line>
    <line start="2154" end="2166" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">No no no.</line>
    <line start="2173" end="2192" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um...the pardack?</line>
    <line start="2195" end="2237" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">What the? Why do these keep coming out as nasty blob things?</line>
    <line start="2240" end="2322" speaker="strongbad">Okay, okay, okay. Gotta look good for the Lappy. My made up animal would be called</line>
    <line start="2331" end="2343" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Sterrance.</line>
    <line start="2350" end="2425" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Hey, I did it! Look at Sterrance. Aw, Sterrance! I want one!</line>
    <line start="2430" end="2477" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Sterrance is way cuter than that stupid ugly old washed-up The Cheat I used to have.</line>
    <line start="2483" end="2493" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2494" end="2525" speaker="strongbad">Oh, Captain Past-His-Prime himself.</line>
    <line start="2526" end="2531" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2532" end="2563" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, I know you heard me. And I stand by it.</line>
    <line start="2564" end="2582" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2584" end="2659" speaker="strongbad">Don't worry about him, Lappy. That's just The Cheat. He uses <em>new</em> computers. Psssh!</line>
    <line start="2661" end="2690" speaker="strongbad">The Paper, come on down and meet your new brother!</line>
    <line start="2700" end="2709" speaker="strongbad">Come on!</line>
    <line start="2718" end="2730" speaker="strongbad">It's okay!</line>
    <line start="2733" end="2753" speaker="strongbad">No, ah! Come on!</line>
    <line start="2758" end="2799" speaker="strongbad">Lappy's not going to bite you or tear at your perforated edges!</line>
    <line start="2807" end="2818" speaker="strongbad">That's it!</line>
    <line start="2826" end="2876" speaker="strongbad">Lappy, this is The Paper. He lets me know when I've stopped being funny!</line>
    <line start="2886" end="2912" speaker="strongbad">Oh! Sorry. Bye, everybody.</line>
    <line start="2930" end="2959" speaker="announcer">Second-place contestants receive deep sea fanglyfish.</line>
    <line start="2961" end="2979" speaker="announcer">Promotional considerations by Sterrance.</line>
    <line start="2980" end="3010" speaker="announcer">Strong Bad's wardrobe furnished by Styles Upon Styles.</line>
    <line start="3024" end="3067" speaker="pbtchomestar">Steep prices and trees!</line>
    <line start="3112" end="3190" speaker="pbtchomestar">Hey there, Baby Styles. This is a nice dancing club, right? Do you have a phone at your house?</line>
</transcript>
</pre>
[[Category:English Subtitles]]


Latest revision as of 14:24, 14 July 2026

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail119.swf" width="550" height="400">
     <line start="19" end="95" speaker="sfx">wind howls</line>
     <line start="96" end="153" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It is a time of desolation, chaos, and uncertainty.</line>
    <line start="157" end="205" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Brother pitted against brother; babies havin' babies.</line>
    <line start="207" end="241">
      <strongbad voiceover="keepithere">Then one day, from the right side of the screen,</strongbad>
      <sfx>wind stops howling</sfx>
    </line>
    <line start="246" end="261" speaker="strongbad">came a man.</line>
    <line start="266" end="302" speaker="strongbad">A man with a plastic rectangle...</line>
    <line start="310" end="339" speaker="strongbad">I MEAN LAPTOP COMPUTER!</line>
    <line start="341" end="386" speaker="sfx">start-up noise</line>
    <line start="387" end="483" speaker="strongbad">Now that is a classy start-up noise! Dong...ding! And check out all these speculations!</line>
    <line start="491" end="544" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Lappy 486 weighs in at an extremely portable forty-two pounds</line>
    <line start="547" end="594" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and features an impressive battery life of one half of ten minutes.</line>
    <line start="596" end="625" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Lappy 486 by Compy.</line>
    <line start="626" end="648" speaker="sfx">audience applauds</line>
    <line start="649" end="664">
        <sfx>audience applauds</sfx>
        <strongbad>All right! Let's see if this bad boy can check some email.</strongbad>
    </line>
    <line start="665" end="683" speaker="strongbad">All right! Let's see if this bad boy can check some email.</line>
    <line start="694" end="767" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, What would you like as if you were your own made up animal Sincerely, Spud Jr."</line>
    <line start="772" end="843" speaker="strongbad">Come now, Spud Jr. What would Spud Sr. think of such nightmarish grammar and punctuation?</line>
    <line start="845" end="891" speaker="strongbad">And poor Spudmom. <em>"What would you like as if..."</em></line>
    <line start="897" end="941" speaker="strongbad">I at least hope you're good at sports, for their sake. All right, I'm done.</line>
    <line start="946" end="1038" speaker="strongbad">Well Stu-Pud Jr., if I was my own made up animal, I would probably like as the coolest made up animal ever made up.</line>
    <line start="1041" end="1077" speaker="strongbad">I would have all the cool animal options and accessories:</line>
    <line start="1081" end="1091" speaker="strongbad">Claws</line>
    <line start="1093" end="1102" speaker="strongbad">Horns</line>
    <line start="1104" end="1113" speaker="strongbad">Tusks</line>
    <line start="1116" end="1124" speaker="strongbad">Tentacles</line>
    <line start="1128" end="1140" speaker="strongbad">Power Doors</line>
    <line start="1142" end="1165" speaker="strongbad">15 Year Drivetrain Warranty</line>
    <line start="1170" end="1182" speaker="strongbad">Proboscis</line>
    <line start="1184" end="1202" speaker="strongbad">Segmented Eyes</line>
    <line start="1205" end="1261" speaker="homestar">I say there, Monstrosity! Do you know the times?</line>
    <line start="1296" end="1341" speaker="strongbad">Oh. I guess I couldn't really talk with that proboscis.</line>
    <line start="1350" end="1398" speaker="strongbad">Not that I'd have much of an answer for "Do you know the times," anyway.</line>
    <line start="1403" end="1464" speaker="strongbad">Hmmm. Maybe I could be one of those deep-sea fangly fishes.</line>
    <line start="1467" end="1537" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You know, the kind that have Christmas lights all over them, and those custom lures hanging over their heads.</line>
    <line start="1538" end="1599" speaker="pbtchomestar">Right this way, everyone! Free puppies, ginger snaps, Pocket PCs...</line>
    <line start="1600" end="1648" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">'Cept I'd also have an awesome back deck on me for dinner and dancing!</line>
    <line start="1655" end="1724" speaker="pbtcstrongbad">Hey there, Baby Styles, do you want to watch me bench-press a lot... of weights?</line>
    <line start="1731" end="1772" speaker="pbtchomestar">Turn it out, Strong Bad, turn it out!</line>
    <line start="1774" end="1836" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, wait. How could I enjoy the dinner and dancing if I'm already the fanglyfish?</line>
    <line start="1845" end="1910" speaker="strongbad">Maybe I'm overthinking this. I should just come up with a cool name and the rest will like as itself.</line>
    <line start="1914" end="2006" speaker="strongbad">I would be called... da huuuuuudge.</line>
    <line start="2007" end="2017" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Hudge!</line>
    <line start="2026" end="2054" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Eew! No. No Hudge.</line>
    <line start="2055" end="2083" speaker="marzipan">Oh, wow! Look at the Hudge!</line>
    <line start="2085" end="2146" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um... How about...the red steckled elbermung?</line>
    <line start="2154" end="2166" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">No no no.</line>
    <line start="2173" end="2192" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um...the pardack?</line>
    <line start="2195" end="2237" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">What the? Why do these keep coming out as nasty blob things?</line>
    <line start="2240" end="2322" speaker="strongbad">Okay, okay, okay. Gotta look good for the Lappy. My made up animal would be called</line>
    <line start="2331" end="2343" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Sterrance.</line>
    <line start="2350" end="2425" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Hey, I did it! Look at Sterrance. Aw, Sterrance! I want one!</line>
    <line start="2430" end="2477" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Sterrance is way cuter than that stupid ugly old washed-up The Cheat I used to have.</line>
    <line start="2483" end="2493" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2494" end="2525" speaker="strongbad">Oh, Captain Past-His-Prime himself.</line>
    <line start="2526" end="2531" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2532" end="2563" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, I know you heard me. And I stand by it.</line>
    <line start="2564" end="2582" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2584" end="2659" speaker="strongbad">Don't worry about him, Lappy. That's just The Cheat. He uses <em>new</em> computers. Psssh!</line>
    <line start="2661" end="2690" speaker="strongbad">The Paper, come on down and meet your new brother!</line>
    <line start="2700" end="2709" speaker="strongbad">Come on!</line>
    <line start="2718" end="2730" speaker="strongbad">It's okay!</line>
    <line start="2733" end="2753" speaker="strongbad">No, ah! Come on!</line>
    <line start="2758" end="2799" speaker="strongbad">Lappy's not going to bite you or tear at your perforated edges!</line>
    <line start="2807" end="2818" speaker="strongbad">That's it!</line>
    <line start="2826" end="2876" speaker="strongbad">Lappy, this is The Paper. He lets me know when I've stopped being funny!</line>
    <line start="2886" end="2912" speaker="strongbad">Oh! Sorry. Bye, everybody.</line>
    <line start="2930" end="2959" speaker="announcer">Second-place contestants receive deep sea fanglyfish.</line>
    <line start="2961" end="2979" speaker="announcer">Promotional considerations by Sterrance.</line>
    <line start="2980" end="3010" speaker="announcer">Strong Bad's wardrobe furnished by Styles Upon Styles.</line>
    <line start="3024" end="3067" speaker="pbtchomestar">Steep prices and trees!</line>
    <line start="3112" end="3190" speaker="pbtchomestar">Hey there, Baby Styles. This is a nice dancing club, right? Do you have a phone at your house?</line>
</transcript>
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