Kick The Cheat Voicebox Replacement Surgery

"Well, doc? Was it a success?"

In this medical drama-style tutorial, learn how to bring back kick-squeaks to your old Kick The Cheat toy.

Cast (in order of appearance): Puppet Strong Bad, Puppet The Cheat, unnamed "surgeon"

Date: Friday, September 4, 2020

Running Time: 3:02

Page Title: Never make the incision talk!

Transcript

{A heart-rate monitor sounds in the background as a pair of white latex gloves gently grip a teal-lidded glass container labeled "GRODY ORGANS". An array of tools are visible in the background. The surgeon removes the lid of the container as a vocalized "froosh" sound is heard, revealing a small white pouch resting atop some ice cubes. The surgeon picks up the pouch, which makes squelching noises as if it were an actual organ, and cups it in their hands.}

{Cut to a Powered by The Cheat animation of a disembodied beating heart on a tray covered with green splotches, as a heart beating noise is imitated in the background. The following sentence is written on the screen, "replacement" being broken up into "RE PLAY SMENT" to fit on the screen.}

POWERED BY THE CHEAT VOICE: {voiceover} How to perform Kick The Cheat... voicebox prp— replacement—

{The whole screen darkens as the word "SURGERY!" is splattered over everything in red, bloody letters.}

POWERED BY THE CHEAT VOICE: —surgery.

{Cut to an IV drip bag, labeled "CHEAT DRIP 500 mL" in marker, with measuring lines. A heart-rate monitor makes beeping sounds.}

{Cut to a tray of carefully arranged tools, along with a metal bowl and a Kick The Cheat doll laying face up.}

{Cut to the tray and The Cheat from above.}

{Cut to the whole scene, showing Puppet Strong Bad behind the operating table, wearing a surgical facemask.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: You gotta save The Cheat, doc! {a beat begins} He doesn't squeak when you kick him no more!

{The surgeon smacks the doll, resulting in no noise.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: See? You gotta fix him!

{Music kicks in. Cut to a shot of the left side of the doll. Poorly written, wiggling text reads "-LOCATE THE SEAM". The surgeon runs their finger along a seam above its arm, and stretches it open slightly to show the stitches.}

{Cut to the tool tray. The surgeon picks up a seam ripper between their fingers.}

{Cut to the seam. The surgeon is about to stick the seam ripper underneath the stitch.}

{Cut to Puppet Strong Bad.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: {turns away and covers his eyes} Gah! I can't watch!

{The surgeon pops one of the stitches. It makes a very loud sound.}

{Cut back to Puppet Strong Bad.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: Dah! You're killin' him!

{Cut back to The Cheat. Text reads "-POP THE STITCHES". The surgeon opens more of the seam. The footage is sped up until the seam is fully opened. When finished, the surgeon stretches the open hole as if it were a mouth.}

SEAM: {in a Powered-by-The-Cheat voice} My name is Mr. Side-of-The-Cheat.

{Cut to Puppet Strong Bad.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: {covering his eyes} Stop making the incision talk!

{Cut back to The Cheat with the open hole. The text reads "-REMOVE VOICEBOX". The surgeon keeps the hole open and pulls out a small white pouch. Lots of squelching sounds accompany the action.}

{Cut to a metal bowl. The white pouch is dropped inside with a loud squelch.}

{Cut to Puppet Strong Bad. He wails as he turns his head woozily, and then falls over backwards. A crash is heard.}

{Cut back to the white pouch. Text reads "-OPEN POUCHY THING". The surgeon is holding the pouch and is using the seam ripper to loosen the seam.}

{Cut to a lower shot as the surgeon opens the hole. There is a black voicebox inside. The surgeon pops the voicebox out, showing the backside where the screws are.}

{Cut to the tool tray. The surgeon picks up a screwdriver.}

{Cut back to the voicebox. Text reads "-OPEN BATTERY THING". The surgeon is unscrewing the battery compartment on the voicebox. Putting down the screwdriver, the surgeon carefully removes the battery casing and sets it down. There are three button cell batteries inside it.}

{Cut to the surgeon holding a small box labeled "LR44 X 3". Text reads "-REPLACE LR44 BATTE~~ (x3)", with the third word gradually becoming more illegible due to the lack of space. Camera pans to the right to show a box reading "Videlectrix Alkaline Battery".}

{Cut back to Puppet Strong Bad.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: {popping up behind the table} Okay, I'm back.

{Cut to The Cheat's incision. Text reads "-CRAM IT BACK IN". The surgeon is keeping the hole open and pushes the white pouch back inside. Lots of squelching noises accompany this action.}

{Cut back to Puppet Strong Bad, who faints once again with another moan and a crash.}

{Cut to the surgeon, holding a needle threaded with double-stranded yellow thread. Text reads "-THREAD NEEDLE, TIE KNOT IN END". The hand emphasizes the needle, and the other hand holds the end of the thread.}

{Cut back to The Cheat. Text reads "-INSERT NEEDLE AT BASE OF SEAM". The surgeon inserts the needle at the bottom where the stitch was first popped and makes a stitch, struggling to push the needle through. When it does come through, it makes a loud popping sound.}

{Cut back to Puppet Strong Bad.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: That Cheat pelt sure is tough!

{Cut back to The Cheat. Text reads "-PULL THRU TO END KNOT". The surgeon holds the thread and pulls it so that the thread snags on where the anchoring stitch was made. The text changes to "-TUCK XTRA THREAD INSIDE". The surgeon pushes the loose end of the thread into the incision so it is not visible from the outside.}

{Cut to the surgeon making stitches. Text reads "-SLIP STITCH SEAM SHUT". The text fades away. After the first stitch, the shot fades to the surgeon continuing to stitch up The Cheat, except they are no longer wearing latex gloves. Squelching sounds accompany the stitching.}

{Cut back to Puppet Strong Bad.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: Takin' the gloves off, eh? {quickly glances at his boxing glove, then back to the viewer} I don't get that choice.

{Cut back to The Cheat. The surgeon is stitching The Cheat back up. The surgeon withdraws their hands to show the progress of how the stitches fit over the hole; it's only about halfway. The thread is pulled, forcing the two ends of the hole together tightly.}

{Cut to an overhead shot of The Cheat lying next to the tool tray. Zoom in on his eyes.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Do his eyes just stay open the whole time? That's creepy.

{Cut to Puppet Strong Bad.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: Didn't you give him no... ether? Or... lithium?

{Cut back to the surgeon making stitches. Squelching sounds are heard.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Or... nickel-cadmium?

{The surgeon makes a stitch and pulls the thread through.}

{Cut to the side of The Cheat. Text reads "-AFTER LAST STITCH, TIE KNOT". The surgeon pushes the needle through and hangs the thread over it.}

{Cut back to Puppet Strong Bad.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: {looking at the Cheat Drip IV} Can I have a sip of this? Looks pretty good.

{Cut back to the surgeon, tying the final knot.}

{Cut to the surgeon turning The Cheat over a little. Text reads "-POKE NEEDLE THRU CHEAT". The surgeon pokes the needle out of The Cheat's shoulder, running the thread inside The Cheat.}

{Cut to the tool tray. The surgeon picks up a blade tool.}

{Cut back to The Cheat's side. Text reads "-PULL TIGHT N' SNIP". With squelching sounds, the surgeon pinches The Cheat and pulls the thread tight. They use the scissor blade to snip the end off very loudly. Then, they smooth out The Cheat.}

{Cut to a comparison shot, with text reading "BEFORE" and "AFTER". In both shots, latex-gloved fingers run over the seams. In the "BEFORE" shot, the seam is straight, but in the "AFTER" shot, the seam is not totally straight and has a slight pucker.}

{Cut to a full shot of the operating table.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: Well, doc? Was it a success?

{A drumroll plays as the surgeon picks up The Cheat and places him upright. The surgeon slaps The Cheat on the head as the drumroll ends. The Cheat makes a screaming noise. A triumphant cymbal is heard.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: {elated} YAY!! The Cheat squeaks! You did it!

{The Cheat is Not Dead begins playing in the background.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: {swaying back and forth, singing out of tune and rhythm} Oh, The Cheat is voice back! I'm so glad The Cheat is voice back.

{Cut to the Cheat with drawn-in "majesty" lines. Zoom in slowly.}

PUPPET STRONG BAD: {singing, voiceover} The Cheat is voice back!

KICK THE CHEAT: {Powered by The Cheat voiceover} I'm— I've never been better.

{The Cheat squeak noise. Cut to black.}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Ether is a chemical used as an anesthetic.
• Lithium is used to treat certain mood disorders, and is also a type of battery.
• Nickel-cadmium is another type of battery.
• The clear plastic pouch of "Cheat Drip" is likely the kind used in IV Therapy. These bags typically contain a saline solution, consisting of sodium chloride (table salt), water, and a small percentage of dextrose (simple sugar). Since these solutions contain a high amount of sodium, drinking them straight from the bag is not recommended.

Trivia

• Strong Bad previously suggested doing surgery on April 28, 2020 when fans posted on Twitter that their Kick The Cheat toys no longer worked.
• The video description reads:

>After 15 years, Kick the Cheat has finally lost his squeak! Learn how to safely perform at-home surgery to replace the batteries in his larynx!
>
>Supplies:
>-1 x Voiceless Kick The Cheat Plush
>-Yellow Thread
>-Needle
>-Seam Ripper
>-Scissors
>-Tiny Phillips Head Screwdriver
>-3 x LR44 Button Cell Batteries
>-500mL Cheat Drip
>-Knowledge of how to sew a Slip Stitch/Ladder Stitch
>(if you don't know, maybe you could find some type of video website that has lots of tutorials for everything ever on it!)

• This is the second time The Cheat has been seen speaking in person with his Powered by The Cheat voice, with the first being in The Homestar Runner Enters the Spooky Woods.

Inside References

• The replacement battery is Videlectrix brand.
• After the surgery, Strong Bad sings a variation of The Cheat Is Not Dead.

Fast Forward

• Another wound would become a mouth with Z Sabre gaining a mouth after being scarred in the conclusion of Stinkoman 20X6.

External Links

• watch "Kick The Cheat Voicebox Replacement Surgery"
• watch "Kick The Cheat Voicebox Replacement Surgery" on YouTube

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