Template:cardgagequote

This template adds one random Senor Cardgage quote to a page or caption.

To add a new quote to this page:

1. Paste the line of code below right after the last line in the list and before the end of the switch.
2. Fill in the number and quote in the appropriate places.
3. Change the total number of quotes in the #rand function at the top.

*</noinclude><includeonly>| ## =</includeonly> <!--new quote here--> <noinclude>

• "Oh, excardon me!"
• "I'm very sorry, ma'am, but could you help an old denominator, like me, gather his spectacles?"
• "I'm sorry, ma'am. Would you mind helping an old wintergreen gather his spectacles?"
• "Sorry to bother you, ma'am. Could you help an old Soderbergh gather his spectacles?"
• "Thank you, ma'am, would you care for a slice of gum?"
• "I have to be going, Ethel. I've got some important lines to stand in."
• "Ex-obably not."
• "Many combolations, Elizagerth! I hope you get all my... particles."
• "Hi there, Belindas!"
• "I'm Senor Cardgage for Senor Cardgage Mort-gage."
• "We can help you get a leg up on the pile!"
• "Low rates, percent signs... I dunno..."
• "No probalo!"
• "Home Lawn, Escrow, Re-Financin' — you name it, we've got it!"
• "Come along down for a free canceltation with one of our handsome talking experts."
• "One o' them said they'd buy me lunch. But I don't see nobody taking me to Chick-fil-A."
• "You're every welcome, Valerie."
• "Act now and see if you can stand to talk to me for more than four seconds!"
• "Look at this can of peas, Helvetica. Won't you help me buy it for you?"
• "I dan't know why. Exprecially since you have this can of peas to look forward to."
• "It won't be here forever. So come see me and this little dog for vera low prices!!"
• "Those were all good years. Don't let another minute go you by."
• "My left name is 'Tremendous Savings', Ms. America! Go out for a pass!"
• "Bring on down your whole fambly!"
• "We'll set up some tents and hot dogs for your... babies. Those like those, right?"
• "You doe NOT want to miss any Senorial Day savings action!"
• "Wake up! Senorial Day is here with the vengeance!"
• "You bet! How 'bout I hit ya on the slant?"
• "Let the little childrens go."
• "Alonzo Mourning to you, Myrtlebeth. Say hello to my tacklebox."
• "Well, if you could just sign right here on the dotty line, the adaption will be complete."
• "I got fourteen degrees while on my lunch take."
• "Now I can legally prescribe marriages in the state of Kansattica."
• "Good efening, Bontilda. Forty-twone will be on your lest."
• "Hey, Grendolyn! Don't bogart that settlement now!"
• "Why, hello, Mistretta. Check out Senor Cardgage's Intregway."
• "Dump tell no mandy, it's just a land mower turned bankways!"
• "If you help me buy it, I'll cut you in!"
• "Oh... I should eat a pony."
• "Oh. Hello-quialism. Who are these guys?"
• "This is not what I sagged on for."
• "Carrageenan, Monteljohn. Can you detect me to the nearest bus stamp?"
• "Where is Tompkins? Where is Cole Slaw? Here I am!"
• "Thank yo, Presbyterian."
• "Panctice... Squad... Cutterback."
• "Oh... Lifty Fernandez."
• "Grape... soda... banked?"
• "I'm sorry, Bridget, but can I steep some identificaption?"
• "Soggy, Junior. Come back when you're all grold up."
• "Oh, thanks for the recyclables, Angela. Thas will make a pretty good blanketer."
• "Hey, Brethany. Are you came to fetch the dodgers?"
• "No, the kids are all went to the mallvies."
• "If you go to the store, can you buychase me a cheese burgwich?"
• "No, I was just on my fiftee-nute break."
• "There were some ducks in the wadger, but they lest away, I guess."
• "Mostly linin' up the doughnuts... I dunno."
• "Okay then, Israel. I could really go for a nice cold marmalade."
• "That's real brootiful, Jennifer. Can I bo-roach it for my prong date?"
• "Okay. No thanks for all."
• "Is this where I pawnder my old pidgeon?"
• "Tablature, Fernelda."
• "Oh, I'm going to go back to bed now."
• "Wa-ha-hooo."
• "I don't think I've ever encroached for many years, back in the service, twice related."
• "A poolside affair."
• "Oh, not as well."
• "Well, I not as well."
• "You're not going to pretand, I can't break it off to you."
• "Have to go now."
• "This steak samwich is Beverly clearly my compooter, Bathsheba."
• "Hello, Chi Minh?"
• "Is this a Frank call?"
• "Thank you, Hot Pooey. Would you care to coincide?"
• "Oh...not much...I'm just...dying..."
• "Hot Pooey..."
• "My coma's toast!"
• "Oh! My Toyota Cressida!"
• "You rally might, Pez Dispenser."
• "Oh, my grabness, grabness. It really is... A Decemberween Mackerel!"
• "Conjunctivitis..."
• "Potrzebie, Calendula. I've been kuwaiting for you all nice."
• "Go ahead, take as money as you like. And then I'll call the police."
• "Prude me in, Couch Z. I'm Reggie Toupée."
• "No, I bronk my own."
• "It's clearly state-of-the-arp."
• "Mash play, Polenta!"
• "Protuberances abound, Regolith!"
• "I'm Seron Cardgage, the lead star from Characters Website!"
• "I'd like to pintroduce you to the Family Might/Could!"
• "Hedge, Package Sirloin!"
• "Excessive breeding, Mollytwice."
• "Cumberland down... to Terrible Herbst."
• "Ohh... I'm never gonna top that one..."
• "Proletariat, Gelzatrude!"
• "Course syllabus, Mandy-perth!"
• "Have a lunk at all my latent teep shirt desigms!"
• "Excuse me, Belinda, can you give me bank my tenny show?"