Cool Things

"What in Pete Sampras is goin' on here?"

Homestar tries to do something constructive. Strong Sad gets a date. Marzipan forms a band with Strong Mad and The Cheat. Bubs decides to stick it to the man.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Bubs, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Strong Bad (Easter egg)

Places: Marzipan's House, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Field, Basement of the Brothers Strong (Easter egg)

Date: Monday, August 15, 2005

Running Time: 4:00

Page Title: Sittin' with a kitty...

DVD:Everything Else, Volume 2

Transcript

{COOL THINGS appears on Marzipan's carpet. Tilt up to see Homestar and Marzipan sitting on the couch. Marzipan is reading "Peter Threadbare", while Homestar looks bored and uninterested.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sighs in a 'ho-hum' fashion} Sitting on the couch is zero amount of fun when there's not a TV or hang glider in front of it.

MARZIPAN: Well, why don't you do something constructive? Like read a book, or write a novella.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Naw, I already did some writing today. And then I read what I wrote.

MARZIPAN: {enthusiastically, puts book down} Yay! Good for you. Can I see it?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's right over there. Check it out!

{Homestar looks at the left wall. The camera view cuts to left wall to show that "Cool tapes" is roughly written on it.}

MARZIPAN: {offscreen} Why did you write "Cool tapes" on my wall?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {as if the answer should be obvious} Uh, hello? {Cut back to the couch. Marzipan and Homestar both look annoyed.} Maybe because I like cool tapes?

MARZIPAN: Well, I hope you like "cool" painting, because this has got to go.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {imitating a trombone} Mwah, bwah, bwahhhh.

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is inside, looking depressed. Three cans of "yella paint" are stacked next to him. Homestar walks up to the stand.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Say there, old Bubs! I need three cans of yella paint, and one pair of cool shades.

BUBS: Sorry, customer, I'm closed.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {confused} But you're standing right there. And I see the yella paint right next to you.

BUBS: But I'm closed! Cutbacks, layoffs, downsizing, you know the drill.

{Homestar looks over his shoulder conspiratorially, then looks back at Bubs.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Bubs, can you steal three cans of yella paint for me?

BUBS: I never pass up a chance to stick it to the man! Here you go! {He gives the cans of paint to Homestar.} {whispering} I slipped the cool shades in the can number two.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, Bubs. {leans closer} Power to the people!

{Homestar picks up the cans and walks away.}

BUBS: I heard that!

{Cut to Homestar's silhouette walking away from the stand. Then cut to a close-up of Homestar walking in the field.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I think I'm gonna bust out my new cool shades. {He kneels down, opens one of the paint cans, and pulls out a pair of cool shades that are completely covered in yellow paint. He puts them on.} Coool! Everything's yellow and drippy.

{Strong Sad enters.}

STRONG SAD: Hey, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello, Dripping Yellow Madness!

STRONG SAD: What? I'm Strong Sad! Dripping Yellow Madness moved away after fifth grade!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look, I'd love to stay and argue that you are in fact Dripping Yellow Madness, but this paint and I {kicks one of the cans} have a date with a wall!

STRONG SAD: I wish I had a date with a wall.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Go for it! Here. {gives the cans to Strong Sad} You'll need these.

STRONG SAD: Oh!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And, uh, good luck tonight. {makes clicking noise}

{Homestar walks off. He lands in a small hole. There is a sign next to it that says "death hole" in Strong Bad's handwriting. Homestar screams while falling in and continues to scream after he's stopped falling. He stands in a hole up to his neck.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {screaming; gradually getting quieter} Aaaaaaaaaaah... I'm at the bottom of a giant piiiiit...

STRONG SAD: Homestar, take off those stupid cool shades.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, I should probably return these things.

STRONG SAD: {walking offscreen, singing} Oh, getting lucky tonight...

{Paint runs down the screen as a scene transition. The view then shows a close-up of Homestar in front of Bubs' Concession Stand, still wearing the cool shades.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {to Bubs} Hey, friend. Lemme get my money back for these cool shades.

{The view changes to a medium shot to reveal Bubs inside, with a banner on the stand that says "UNDER OLD MANAGEMENT!!"}

BUBS: Little bit closer, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. {He walks closer, and walks past Bubs a bit. Bubs moves in front of him.} Lemme get my money back for these cool shades.

BUBS: Sure! You got your receipt?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, no. {removing his shades, with eyes closed, in a professional voice} The sales representative I dealt with gave them to me... free of charge. I believe... his name was Stan.

BUBS: Stan?! I fired that guy after the fifth grade! Without a receipt, I can only exchange them for something of lesser or much lesser value. And the only thing that qualifies is this! {He holds up a bag with four grapes in it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {takes the bag} These'll do! These'll do juuust fine!

{Cut to Homestar's silhouette walking away from the stand. The sun is lower than before, and the sky is a purplish color. Cut to a view of Homestar walking into Marzipan's house, then cut to Marzipan's living room, where Marzipan, Strong Mad and The Cheat are standing in front of the wall with "Cool Tapes" written on it. Strong Mad has an electric bass, The Cheat has a drum kit, and Marzipan has Carol.}

MARZIPAN: All right, boys. From the top. {Homestar's silhouette appears in the foreground.} One, two—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What in— {Cut to a close-up of Homestar's face. He looks angry.} —Pete Sampras is going on here?!

{Cut to a close-up of Marzipan's face.}

MARZIPAN: Well... you took too long, so Strong Mad, and The Cheat and I formed a band called Cool Tapes. {She smiles sheepishly.}

{Cut back to a still-angry Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {tone benign, but angry} Oh, really?! What kind of... music do you play?!

{Cut to a wide shot of Marzipan, Strong Mad and The Cheat.}

MARZIPAN: Well, here, we'll show you. We only have one song so far, and it's not quite finished, but here goes. Ready, boys?

{Strong Mad, The Cheat and Marzipan all play their instruments.}

MARZIPAN: One, two, three, four!

{singing}
Cool tapes are cool, 'cause they're where it is at,
Cool tapes are cool, and we like it like that!
Cool tapes! Cool tapes!
We like to get it down with the cool, cool tapes,
We like to get down with ...um... {the music stops} um...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: A bag of four grapes? {holds up bag of grapes}

MARZIPAN: {music starts again, singing} A bag of four graaaaapes!

{An audience cheers. Homestar pops up from the bottom of the screen and shakes the bag, which makes a noise like a cymbal. A cassette tape appears in the foreground that reads "THE END." Homestar peeks through one of the holes in the cassette.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "THE" on the cassette at the end to see a conversation with Strong Bad and The Cheat.

{Strong Bad is lying on the couch in his basement, watching TV.} KID: {on TV} ...same truck that tried to kill my dad! {The Cheat enters, carrying his drumsticks.} STRONG BAD: Hey, The Cheat. We catch anything in the Death Hole today? THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises} STRONG BAD: What? There's no way he could've been in there. He moved away after fifth grade!

• Click on "END" on the cassette at the end to see a T-shirt for Cool Tapes.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• A novella is a work of fiction intermediate in length and complexity between a novelette and a novel.

Trivia

• The crowd cheering sound effect is taken from the end of Everybody to the Limit (Live).
• When Homestar puts the cans on top of each other, the cool shades would have most likely been in the bottom can if Bubs did the order from left to right. Alternatively, numbering from top to bottom results in Homestar finding the shades in the correct can.

Remarks

• None of the paint remains on Homestar's face after he removes the cool shades, even though much of it drips.
• Paint appears to drip from Homestar's glasses into his mouth. However, this doesn't seem to bother him.
• The clouds above Free Country U.S.A look more realistic. In the past, they looked like cartoony swirls.
• This is the first time that the exterior of Marzipan's house is shown during the day. It looks remarkably similar to Homestar's House.
• This is the first time Marzipan's teeth are shown (aside from Powered by The Cheat cartoons).
• Carol looks like a classical guitar, but is apparently an electric acoustic guitar, capable of producing a distorted tone much like an electric guitar.
• The tape at the end is the same shade of yellow as the yellow highlights that appear around buttons when the Tab key is pressed, slightly obscuring the Easter egg highlight over "The" and completely obscuring the highlight over "End." Since the tape was grey during the song, this may have been intentional.
• "Stupid cool shades" is an example of the literary device juxtaposition.
• Just before Homestar is stopped by Strong Sad, he walks right where the death hole should be. Afterwards, he turns around and falls in the death hole, which is suddenly there.

Goofs

disconnected , the prequel

• The phrase "Cool Tapes" changes position slightly during the toon. To see this better, focus on the bottom of the "p" in "Tapes" and the lighter part of the yellow wall.
• The disconnected tops of Homestar's legs can be seen for a couple of frames while he is saying "Mwah, bwah, bwahhhh."
• With the cool shades on, the paint drips off the lens over his right eye, but the drops fall in front of the left side of the mouth and the paint disappears half way down his face.
• When Homestar goes to return his cool shades to Bubs, in the second wide shot, Homestar is suddenly standing to the left of where he was in the first wide shot.
• When Homestar is returning the Yella Shades at the concession stand, the paint suddenly stops dripping between the close-up and the wide shot.
• As he walks back from Bubs' with the bag of four grapes, Homestar's walk cycle doesn't quite fit the speed at which he is walking.
• The amp that is behind Marzipan disappears after a couple of cuts.

Glitches

• When Marzipan closes her eyes and sings "...a bag of four graaaaapes!", her closed eyes distort for a brief moment. This is because she and Homestar blink every four seconds or so, and with her eyes closed, she attempts to blink over her closed eyes. The effect can also be observed if the toon is paused while her eyes are closed.
• When the Cool Tapes writing is seen for the first time, there is a yellow hole in the floor.

Inside References

• Strong Sad's patting his belly makes the same dodgeball noise it made in modeling.
  • The dodgeball noise was previously heard in 1 step ahead.
• Strong Sad mentions that he likes to talk to walls in his character video.
• The amps that Marzipan plays through are from different town.
• Strong Mad's playing the bass was mentioned in guitar, but this is the first time it's actually seen.
• The show Strong Bad is watching is the "killer truck" show The Cheat watches in privileges (or possibly a sequel).
• This is another instance of Homestar peeking.

Real-World References

• The title of the page, "Sittin' with a kitty," is a lyric from the Sonic Youth song "Kool Thing."
• "Stick it to the Man" and "Power to the People" were common phrases used during student protests in the 1960s and '70s.
• Pete Sampras is a retired professional tennis player.
• Strong Mad's bass is the same shape as a Hofner 500/1 violin bass, the kind Paul McCartney plays.
• The amplifiers that they use very closely resemble Marshall Amps.
• In much the same fashion Marzipan used the name Homestar wrote on her wall, Kurt Cobain came up with the title of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" when his friend Kathleen Hanna spray-painted "Kurt Smells Like Teen Spirit" on his wall.

Fast Forward

• Strong Sad's line "Oh, getting lucky toniiiight..." is repeated by French Homestar in Halloween Potion-ma-jig.
• Cool Tapes later reappeared in Weclome Back and in Baddest of the Bands.
• The T-shirt in the Easter egg was later sold at the Store.
• Marzipan would later show her teeth again in coloring, Quality Time, and pet show.
• In the preview for Baddest of the Bands, the band Strong Bad is seen in is Cool Tapes.

External Links

• watch "Cool Things"
• watch "Cool Things" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "Cool Things"
• forum thread re: "Cool Things"