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<!-- Mirrored from Homestar Runner Wiki (hrwiki.org) via Wayback Machine; HTML converted to wikitext. Formatting may be imperfect. -->
<!-- Mirrored from Homestar Runner Wiki (hrwiki.org) via Wayback Machine -->
<div class="thumb tright">
https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/0/00/sbemail39.PNG/180px-sbemail39.PNG


<div class="thumbinner" style="width:182px;">
''The Cold One motto''


[[File:sbemail39.PNG|[[File:sbemail39.PNG|180px|thumb]]]]
'''Cold One''' is the most popular brand of [[beer]] in [[Free Country, USA]]. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all." Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually [[Alcohol|alcoholic]] or not, it is shown in [[Peasant's Quest]] that the [[Kerrek]] rejects Cold Ones because he is a [[Teetotalism|teetotaler]]. The [[Strong Bad]] [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]] displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", making it clear that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. Also, Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are a variant that is "brewed in Foreign Lands".
<div class="thumbcaption">


<div class="magnify">
It is revealed in the email "[[super powers]]" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.
 
[[File:sbemail39.PNG|[[File:magnify-clip.png|15px|thumb]]]]
 
</div>
The Cold One motto
 
</div>
 
</div>
 
</div>
'''Cold One''' is the most popular brand of [[beer]] in [[Free Country, USA]]. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is &quot;A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all.&quot; Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually [[Alcohol|alcoholic]] or not, it is shown in [[Peasant's Quest]] that the [[Kerrek]] rejects Cold Ones because he is a [[Teetotalism|teetotaler]]. The [[Strong Bad]] [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]] displays &quot;Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones&quot;, making it clear that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. Also, Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are a variant that is &quot;brewed in Foreign Lands&quot;.
 
It is revealed in the email &quot;[[super powers]]&quot; that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.


[[Matt Chapman]] revealed in [[The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show Interview - 7 July 2014]] that [[Nickelodeon]] and [[Disney]] told him that he would have to cease all references to Cold Ones if the series were to be broadcast on their television networks.
[[Matt Chapman]] revealed in [[The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show Interview - 7 July 2014]] that [[Nickelodeon]] and [[Disney]] told him that he would have to cease all references to Cold Ones if the series were to be broadcast on their television networks.


<span id="the-property-of-ones"></span>
== The Property of Ones ==
== <span class="mw-headline"> The Property of Ones </span> ==


''See main article: [[Bogus Mathematical Theorems]]''
''See main article: [[Bogus Mathematical Theorems]]''
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According to Strong Bad, Cold Ones obey the following [[property of ones|Property of Ones]]:
According to Strong Bad, Cold Ones obey the following [[property of ones|Property of Ones]]:


<span class="texhtml">The One<sup>itude</sup> is directly proportional to the Cold<sup>itude</sup> of the One.</span>
The Oneitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the One.


Or in other words:
Or in other words:


<span class="texhtml"> The colder it is, the more of a one it is.</span>
The colder it is, the more of a one it is.


<span id="types-of-ones"></span>
== Types of Ones ==
== <span class="mw-headline">Types of Ones</span> ==


{| class="wikitable" border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" style="border-collapse:collapse"
{| class="wikitable"
|- bgcolor="#eeeeee"
|-
! Type
! Type
! Picture
! Picture
! About
! About
! Appearances
! Appearances
|- id="co"
|-
| Cold Ones
| Cold Ones
| [[File:Cold One.PNG|[[File:Cold_One.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/4/41/Cold_One.PNG/45px-Cold_One.PNG
| Preferred by [[Strong Bad]].
| Preferred by [[Strong Bad]].
| * Seen: [[Where My Hat Is At?]]; [[Theme Song Video]]; [[super powers]]; [[flag day]]; [[Strong Bad's Website]]; [[video games]]; [[Population: Tire]]; [[garage sale]]; [[Senorial Day]]; [[Strong Bad is a Bad Guy]]; [[pop-up]]; [[unnatural]] (Easter egg)
|  
* Mentioned or implied: [[property of ones]]; [[theme party]]; [[suntan]]; [[Peasant's Quest]]; [[for kids]]; [[Commandos in the Classroom]]; [[strongbad email.exe]]; [[strongbad email.exe Disc Three]]; [[coloring]]
|-
 
|- id="coolones"
| Cool Ones
| Cool Ones
| ''not seen''
| ''not seen''
| A nice alternative on spring nights.
| A nice alternative on spring nights.
| * [[property of ones]] (mentioned)
|  
 
|-
|- id="notsocoldones"
| Not So Cold Ones
| Not So Cold Ones
| [[File:notsocold.PNG|[[File:notsocold.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/6/65/notsocold.PNG/45px-notsocold.PNG
| Tempature is 90 degrees or higher, as said on the bottle. Enjoyed by [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]].
| Tempature is 90 degrees or higher, as said on the bottle. Enjoyed by [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]].
| * [[property of ones]]
|  
* [[impression]]
|-
* [[Happy Fireworks]]
 
|- id="roomtempones"
| Room Temp-A-Ture Ones
| Room Temp-A-Ture Ones
| [[File:roomone.PNG|[[File:roomone.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/8/8c/roomone.PNG/45px-roomone.PNG
| A foreign brand brewed in [[Category:Foreign Lands|Foreign Lands]]. Could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the British prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.
| A foreign brand brewed in . Could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the British prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.
| * [[property of ones]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="warmones"
| Wärm Önes
| Wärm Önes
| [[File:warmone.PNG|[[File:warmone.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/4/48/warmone.PNG/45px-warmone.PNG
| Foreign brand straight from the oven.
| Foreign brand straight from the oven.
| * [[property of ones]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="conone"
| Cold None
| Cold None
| ''not seen''
| ''not seen''
| Not to be wished on anyone
| Not to be wished on anyone
| * [[property of ones]] (mentioned)
|  
 
|-
|- id="onenotcold"
| One That Is Not Cold
| One That Is Not Cold
| ''not seen''
| ''not seen''
| What the sender of [[property of ones]], Dan Waters, claims to have almost drank. Scarcely a One at all.
| What the sender of [[property of ones]], Dan Waters, claims to have almost drank. Scarcely a One at all.
| * [[property of ones]] (mentioned)
|  
 
|-
|- id="xtracold"
| Xtra Cold Ones
| Xtra Cold Ones
| [[File:Xtra Cold One.PNG|[[File:Xtra_Cold_One.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/d/d5/Xtra_Cold_One.PNG/45px-Xtra_Cold_One.PNG
| A step up from Cold Ones.
| A step up from Cold Ones.
| * [[Cheat Commandos (toon)|Cheat Commandos]]; [[theme park]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="coice"
| Cold One Ice
| Cold One Ice
| [[File:Cold One Ice.PNG|[[File:Cold_One_Ice.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/d/d4/Cold_One_Ice.PNG/45px-Cold_One_Ice.PNG
| Thrown at a [[Cow Lamp|moose lamp]].
| Thrown at a [[Cow Lamp|moose lamp]].
| * [[portrait]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="oldone"
| 'old One
| 'old One
| [[File:Oldone.PNG|[[File:Oldone.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/f/f2/Oldone.PNG/45px-Oldone.PNG
| Enjoyed by [[Pom Pom]], [[Homestar Runner]], and [[Strong Bad]].
| Enjoyed by [[Pom Pom]], [[Homestar Runner]], and [[Strong Bad]].
| * [[Summer Short Shorts]]
|  
* [[Date Nite]]
|-
* [[Play Date]]
* [[hiding]]
 
|- id="sbpaco"
| Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones
| Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones
| [[File:Cold One Premium Alcoholic Screen Saver.png|[[File:Cold_One_Premium_Alcoholic_Screen_Saver.png|180px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/1/1c/Cold_One_Premium_Alcoholic_Screen_Saver.png/180px-Cold_One_Premium_Alcoholic_Screen_Saver.png
| From the [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]].
| From the [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]].
| * [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|Strong Bad Screensaver]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="colight"
| Cold Ones Light
| Cold Ones Light
| [[File:Cold Ones Light.PNG|[[File:Cold_Ones_Light.PNG|97px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/8/89/Cold_Ones_Light.PNG/97px-Cold_Ones_Light.PNG
| A [[Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Pabst Brewing Company|Old Style]] beer logo ([[File:Cold Ones Light Old Style.png|see comparison]]).
| A [[Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Pabst Brewing Company|Old Style]] beer logo (see comparison).
| * [[Ever and More!]]
|  
* [[Strong Badia the Free]]
|-
* [[Baddest of the Bands]]
* [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]
 
|- id="expenseones"
| Expen$e Account Ones
| Expen$e Account Ones
| [[File:Expense Account Ones.png|[[File:Expense_Account_Ones.png|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/6/6f/Expense_Account_Ones.png/45px-Expense_Account_Ones.png
| Enjoyed while on a [[business trip]].
| Enjoyed while on a [[business trip]].
| * [[business trip]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="codry"
| Cold Ones Dry
| Cold Ones Dry
| [[File:coldonesdry.png|[[File:coldonesdry.png|180px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/a/a2/coldonesdry.png/180px-coldonesdry.png
| A [[Pale lager|dry]] variation of a Cold One, official beverage of [[Taranchula]].
| A [[Pale lager|dry]] variation of a Cold One, official beverage of [[Taranchula]].
| * [[buried]]
|  
* [[Strong Badia the Free]]
|-
* [[Baddest of the Bands]]
* [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]
 
|- id="coldsonlite"
| Coldson Lite
| Coldson Lite
| [[File:coldsonlite02.PNG|[[File:coldsonlite02.PNG|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/a/af/coldsonlite02.PNG/45px-coldsonlite02.PNG
| A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to [[Molson]], a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of [[Coors Light]] — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004.
| A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to [[Molson]], a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of [[Coors Light]] — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004.
| * [[labor day]]
|  
* [[lunch special]]
|-
* [[rock opera]]
* [[Happy Fireworks]]
* [[theme song]]
* [[unnatural]] (Easter egg)
* [[Ever and More!]]
* [[hremail 3184]]
* [[Trogdor!! The Board Game (video)]]
 
|- id="coesb"
| Cold Ones Extra Stout Black
| Cold Ones Extra Stout Black
| [[File:Cold Ones Extra Stout Black.PNG|[[File:Cold_Ones_Extra_Stout_Black.PNG|180px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/8/87/Cold_Ones_Extra_Stout_Black.PNG/180px-Cold_Ones_Extra_Stout_Black.PNG
| &quot;So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid.&quot; Seems to refer to [[Guinness]].
| "So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." Seems to refer to [[Guinness]].
| * [[Strong Badia the Free|Strong Badia The Free]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="coldenone"
| Colden Ones
| Colden Ones
| [[File:ColdenOnes.png|[[File:ColdenOnes.png|45px|thumb]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/0/0f/ColdenOnes.png/45px-ColdenOnes.png
| A variation of the Cold One. Enjoyed by Homestar Runner before the [[Nondescript Nouns|Big Game]]. May be a reference to &quot;[[Molson]] Golden&quot;.
| A variation of the Cold One. Enjoyed by Homestar Runner before the [[Nondescript Nouns|Big Game]]. May be a reference to "[[Molson]] Golden".
| * [[Where My Hat Is At? (toon)]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="ponk"
| PONK!
| PONK!
| [[File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG|[[File:Cold_Ones_Ponk.PNG|107px|thumb|File:Cold Ones Ponk.PNG]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/8/8c/Cold_Ones_Ponk.PNG
| Enjoyed by Bubs.
| Enjoyed by Bubs.
| * [[hremail 3184]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="icecream"
| Hops and Icy Cold One flavored ice cream
| Hops and Icy Cold One flavored ice cream
| [[File:ColdOneIceCream.png|[[File:ColdOneIceCream.png|157px|thumb|File:ColdOneIceCream.png]]]]
| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/e/e9/ColdOneIceCream.png
| One of the flavors of [[Ice Cream|ice cream]] found on the code wheel for [[Peasant's Quest]]. It's claimed to be the favorite flavor of [[Samuel Adams]].
| One of the flavors of [[Ice Cream|ice cream]] found on the code wheel for [[Peasant's Quest]]. It's claimed to be the favorite flavor of [[Samuel Adams]].
| * [[8-Bit is Enough|8-Bit Is Enough]]
|  
 
|-
|- id="hardone"
| Hard Ones
| Hard Ones
| ''not seen''
| ''not seen''
| Assumed to be the Cold Ones version of hard liquor (Vodka, Bourbon, ect.) An alleged ingredient in Santaman's Chimney.
| Assumed to be the Cold Ones version of hard liquor (Vodka, Bourbon, ect.) An alleged ingredient in Santaman's Chimney.
| * [[Decemberween Dangeresque]] (mentioned)
|  
 
|-
|- id="problemone"
| Problem Ones
| Problem Ones
| ''not seen''
| ''not seen''
| Apparently responsible for Homestar and Strong Bad's original designs.
| Apparently responsible for Homestar and Strong Bad's original designs.
| * [[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2016|@StrongBadActual]] (mentioned)
|  
 
|}
|}


<span id="see-also"></span>
== See Also ==
== <span class="mw-headline"> See Also </span> ==


* [[Alcohol]]
* [[Alcohol]]


<div id="catlinks" class="catlinks">
[[Category:Foreign Lands]]
 
[[Category:Food and drinks]]
<div id="mw-normal-catlinks">
 
[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">[[Category:Food and drinks|Food and drinks]]</span>
 
</div>
 
</div>


Latest revision as of 14:24, 14 July 2026

180px-sbemail39.PNG

The Cold One motto

Cold One is the most popular brand of beer in Free Country, USA. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all." Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually alcoholic or not, it is shown in Peasant's Quest that the Kerrek rejects Cold Ones because he is a teetotaler. The Strong Bad screensaver displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", making it clear that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. Also, Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are a variant that is "brewed in Foreign Lands".

It is revealed in the email "super powers" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.

Matt Chapman revealed in The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show Interview - 7 July 2014 that Nickelodeon and Disney told him that he would have to cease all references to Cold Ones if the series were to be broadcast on their television networks.

The Property of Ones

See main article: Bogus Mathematical Theorems

According to Strong Bad, Cold Ones obey the following Property of Ones:

The Oneitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the One.

Or in other words:

The colder it is, the more of a one it is.

Types of Ones

Type Picture About Appearances
Cold Ones 45px-Cold_One.PNG Preferred by Strong Bad.
Cool Ones not seen A nice alternative on spring nights.
Not So Cold Ones 45px-notsocold.PNG Tempature is 90 degrees or higher, as said on the bottle. Enjoyed by Coach Z and Bubs.
Room Temp-A-Ture Ones 45px-roomone.PNG A foreign brand brewed in . Could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the British prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.
Wärm Önes 45px-warmone.PNG Foreign brand straight from the oven.
Cold None not seen Not to be wished on anyone
One That Is Not Cold not seen What the sender of property of ones, Dan Waters, claims to have almost drank. Scarcely a One at all.
Xtra Cold Ones 45px-Xtra_Cold_One.PNG A step up from Cold Ones.
Cold One Ice 45px-Cold_One_Ice.PNG Thrown at a moose lamp.
'old One 45px-Oldone.PNG Enjoyed by Pom Pom, Homestar Runner, and Strong Bad.
Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones 180px-Cold_One_Premium_Alcoholic_Screen_Saver.png From the screensaver.
Cold Ones Light 97px-Cold_Ones_Light.PNG A light variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the Old Style beer logo (see comparison).
Expen$e Account Ones 45px-Expense_Account_Ones.png Enjoyed while on a business trip.
Cold Ones Dry 180px-coldonesdry.png A dry variation of a Cold One, official beverage of Taranchula.
Coldson Lite 45px-coldsonlite02.PNG A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and The Cheat. It may be a reference to Molson, a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of Coors Light — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004.
Cold Ones Extra Stout Black 180px-Cold_Ones_Extra_Stout_Black.PNG "So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." Seems to refer to Guinness.
Colden Ones 45px-ColdenOnes.png A variation of the Cold One. Enjoyed by Homestar Runner before the Big Game. May be a reference to "Molson Golden".
PONK! Cold_Ones_Ponk.PNG Enjoyed by Bubs.
Hops and Icy Cold One flavored ice cream ColdOneIceCream.png One of the flavors of ice cream found on the code wheel for Peasant's Quest. It's claimed to be the favorite flavor of Samuel Adams.
Hard Ones not seen Assumed to be the Cold Ones version of hard liquor (Vodka, Bourbon, ect.) An alleged ingredient in Santaman's Chimney.
Problem Ones not seen Apparently responsible for Homestar and Strong Bad's original designs.

See Also

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