Subtitles:interview/en

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="interview.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="17" end="28">
<sfx>typing</sfx>
</line>
<line start="29" end="66">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">Truly there are few guys as stupid as Homestar Runner.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="70" end="116">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">But I wanted to unravel all the idiotic ramblings and speech impediments,
</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="117" end="165">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">and get down to the chewy caramel center of this no-armed whitey.
</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="170" end="187">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">What I found was not pretty.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="194" end="235">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">It was slimy and smelly and kinda stung my eyes.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="256" end="311">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">So, Dumbstar has me meet him in this fruity little marshmallow stand he always goes to.
</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="312" end="358">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">He kept me waiting for a good half hour and I actually watched him walk by the place
</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="359" end="393">
<strongbad voiceover="voiceover">three or four times before he finally came in.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="411" end="433">
<strongbad>What the crap were you doing out there?</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="434" end="445">
<homestar>Out where?</homestar>
</line>
<line start="446" end="457">
<strongbad>Outside!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="458" end="488">
<strongbad>I watched you prance by, like, five times, man.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="490" end="518">
<homestar>Oh, I doubt it. I drove.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="522" end="540">
<strongbad>You don't own a car!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="544" end="574">
<homestar>Yeah, you're probably right.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="581" end="608">
<strongbad>Okay, let's get down to brass tacks.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="611" end="648">
<homestar>Ohhh, I didn't bring any. I drove.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="651" end="683">
<strongbad>Augh, this is gonna be painful.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="685" end="703">
<homestar>What, the tacks?</homestar>
</line>
<line start="704" end="716">
<homestar>I bet.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="718" end="733">
<homestar>Try not to sit on 'em.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="734" end="750">
<strongbad>No, stupid!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="751" end="767">
<strongbad>This is an interview!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="768" end="804">
<homestar>Oh, well allow me to introduce myself.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="805" end="867">
<homestar>My name is Homestar Runner, and I feel that I would be a great asset to your company.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="868" end="880">
<homestar>My name is Homestar Runner, and I feel that I would be a great asset to your company.</homestar>
<strongbad>Okay, shut up.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="881" end="895">
<strongbad>Now, first question:</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="896" end="915">
<strongbad>What's your freakin' problem?</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="916" end="945">
<homestar>Well if you take a look at my reh-zoom,
</homestar>
</line>
<line start="946" end="1003">
<homestar>you'll see that I have quite a bit of experience in many different related fields.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1008" end="1041">
<strongbad>Cut the crap! Just tell me what your freaking problem is!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1047" end="1070">
<homestar>I can't really think of any.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1071" end="1100">
<strongbad>Ohhhh. Moving on.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1108" end="1155">
<strongbad>I've heard that you enjoy prancing around like an idiot. Is this true?</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1164" end="1187">
<homestar volume="0.8"><em>(singing)</em> La-duh-dah-dee-duh-dah-dee-duh-dah-dee!</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1188" end="1216">
<strongbad>I suppose that answers my question.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1218" end="1262">
<strongbad>Now, tell us about your girlfriend Marzipan. What's her deal?</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1263" end="1318">
<homestar>She told me today that she thinks your baking has really improved lately.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1319" end="1338">
<strongbad>Oh, my baking, eh?</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1339" end="1372">
<strongbad>I like to enjoy baking every once and again.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1373" end="1387">
<homestar>Interesting.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1388" end="1406">
<homestar>I'll take note of that.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1408" end="1442">
<homestar>So, what else do you do in your spare time?</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1446" end="1479">
<strongbad>Well, I like to do the Jumble sometimes and—</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1480" end="1492">
<strongbad>Hey, wait!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1493" end="1515">
<strongbad>I'm asking the questions here!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1517" end="1546">
<strongbad>So, who do you think would win in a fight:</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1547" end="1579">
<strongbad>Strong Sad or The Cheat?</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1584" end="1619">
<homestar>Oh, man. That's not even fair.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1622" end="1662">
<homestar voiceover="voiceover">The Cheat would win with both hands duct-taped behind his back,</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1663" end="1697">
<homestar voiceover="voiceover">and with little pieces of duct tape covering his eyes,</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1698" end="1735">
<homestar voiceover="voiceover">and Strong Sad could have a spear even.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1773" end="1793">
<strongsad>En garde?</strongsad>
</line>
<line start="1794" end="1819">
<strongbad>Whoa-ho-ho! Good answer.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1821" end="1844">
<strongbad>We might have to set that up someday.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1845" end="1857">
<homestar>Yeah,<span style="visibility:hidden;"> yeah, that'd be great.</span></homestar>
</line>
<line start="1858" end="1870">
<homestar>Yeah, yeah,<span style="visibility:hidden;"> that'd be great.</span></homestar>
</line>
<line start="1871" end="1887">
<homestar>Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1888" end="1923">
<strongbad>Well, it can only go down from here, so...</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1924" end="1940">
<strongbad>get out of my face.</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="1942" end="1981">
<homestar volume="0.8"><em>(singing)</em> La-dee-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-doo-doo...</homestar>
</line>
</transcript>