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| | #REDIRECT [[Pistols for Pandas]] |
| <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%">
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| <td> <b> Toon Category: Shorts </b>
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| </td><td> <table align="right" border="1" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" style="background:#f2f2f2; border:1px solid #ccc; padding:5px; font-size:x-small; line-height:100%; border-collapse:collapse;"><tr><td> <a class="extiw" href="https://homestarrunner.com/toons/pistols-for-pandas" title="hr:toons/pistols-for-pandas">watch</a> </td><td> <a href="/index.php?title=Where_U_Goin%27_2%3F" title="Where U Goin' 2?"><span style="font-size:small">←</span> Where U Goin' 2?</a> </td><td> <a href="/index.php?title=Hremail_7" title="Hremail 7">Hremail 7 <span style="font-size:small">→</span></a> </td></tr></table>
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| </td></tr></table>
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| <dl><dd><i>This article is about the <a href="/index.php?title=Toons" title="Toons">short</a>.</i> <i>For the organization, see <a href="/index.php?title=Pistols_For_Pandas_%28organization%29" title="Pistols For Pandas (organization)">Pistols For Pandas (organization)</a>.</i>
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| </dd></dl>
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| <div class="thumb tright"><div class="thumbinner" style="width:182px;"><a class="image" href="/index.php?title=File:Totally_legal.png" title="Totally legal. Totally."><img alt="" border="0" class="thumbimage" height="130" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/3/32/Totally_legal.png/180px-Totally_legal.png" width="180"/></a> <div class="thumbcaption"><div class="magnify"><a class="internal" href="/index.php?title=File:Totally_legal.png" title="Enlarge"><img alt="" height="11" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/skins/common/images/magnify-clip.png" width="15"/></a></div>Totally legal. <a href="/index.php?title=Total" title="Total">Totally</a>.</div></div></div>
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| <p>Crack Stuntman explains how <a href="/index.php?title=Pistols_For_Pandas_%28organization%29" title="Pistols For Pandas (organization)">Pistols For Pandas</a> gets small firearms into the paws of our planet's most adorable, and most unarmed, creatures.
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| </p><p><b>Cast (in order of appearance):</b> <a href="/index.php?title=Crack_Stuntman" title="Crack Stuntman">Crack Stuntman</a>, <a href="/index.php?title=Gunhaver" title="Gunhaver">Gunhaver</a> (Easter egg), <a href="/index.php?title=Silent_Rip" title="Silent Rip">Silent Rip</a> (Easter egg)
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| </p><p><b>Places:</b> Set, Bamboo Forest
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| </p><p><b>Date:</b> Monday, April 27, 2009
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| </p><p><b>Running Time:</b> 2:02
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| </p><p><b>Page Title:</b> They Need All The Firepower They Can Get!
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| </p>
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| <a id="Transcript" name="Transcript"></a><h2> <span class="mw-headline"> Transcript </span></h2>
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| <p><i>{Open on Crack Stuntman standing against a bluish-gray background. Music plays.}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> Blah-hi, kids, BLAH'm Crack Stuntman. <i>{places hand on chest}</i> I used to do the voice of <i>{holds up one finger}</i> Cheat Commander on the cartoon man show until contractual mumbo-jumbo <i>{annoyed, speaks rapidly}</i> screwed me out of the sweetest gig I ever had! <i>{suddenly pleading}</i> Please take me back!
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| </p><p><i>{Cut}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> <i>{smiling}</i> But I'm also the voice of a much more important non-profit organization called—<i>{shocked and mad, the music stops with a record scratch}</i> <i>Non-profit?!</i> <i>{shakes fist}</i> What the bluh-what?! <i>{faces offscreen, places hand on chest}</i> But <i>I'm</i> still get paid, right?
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| </p><p><i>{Cut}</i>
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| </p><p><i>{Crack is now wearing expensive, jewel-encrusted sunglasses, and his shirt pocket is stuffed with dollar bills}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> But I'm also the voice of a non-profit organization called Pistols for Pandas, <i>{Pistols for Pandas logo appears to his left, Crack looks towards the logo and places his hand on his chest}</i> that I hold very near and dear to my new sunglasses. <i>{points to sunglasses, which sparkle}</i>
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| </p><p><i>{Crack turns, and scene changes}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> In light of the recent, made-up holiday <i>{a card for "ERF DAY" featuring a green Earth appears}</i> designed to make your parents feel guilty about their car, <i>{the logo slides offscreen}</i> I thought I'd tell you just how P-for-P <i>{two handguns appear and eventually turn into the Pistols for Pandas logo}</i> gets small firearms into the paws of our planet's <i>{raises finger}</i> most adorable, and <i>{the Pistols for Pandas logo turns to face Crack}</i> most unarmed, creatures.
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| </p><p><i>{Scene changes to stick-figure drawings. One has a baseball cap on, the other's head is Crack's. A one dollar bill appears in the hand of the boy, who then presents it to Crack}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> <i>{voiceover}</i> For every dollar you give to Pistols for Pandas, <i>{Crack laughs; people are heard laughing in the background (although Crack himself is not)}</i> we laugh at, 'cause, like, what good's a dollar gonna do?
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| </p><p><i>{Crack produces a lighter and burns the dollar bill. The boy looks down, ashamed. The scene changes to a different scene of the boy and Crack. A five dollar bill appears in the boy's hand, and he then presents it to Crack}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> <i>{voiceover}</i> But for every <i>five</i> dollars you give, <i>{Crack smiles and takes the money. We pan right and Crack gives the money to another stick-figure, this time wearing an apron reading "grōsh"}</i> we buy one box of cereal <i>{the "grosher" raises his arm and the five dollar note transforms into a box of "Prize-O's". Crack smiles and dances}</i> with the best prize in it.
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| </p><p><i>{The scene changes to show Crack Stuntman, with the Pistol for Pandas logo on his chest. His mouth slowly opens to reveal the cereal box before chewing it.}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> <i>{voiceover}</i> I eat said cereal, <i>{Crack throws a many-legged toy onto the wall, which rolls down the wall towards the floor}</i> play with the prize, <i>{Crack opens his mouth and removes the box top}</i> and save the box top.
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| </p><p><i>{Scene changes to blank screen. Fifteen box tops appear in a pyramid formation, and are then revealed to be loaded onto a truck reading "5th grade trucking", driven by Crack}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> <i>{voiceover}</i> Once we have enough box tops, I dress up like a fifth grader <i>{Crack drives the truck into a school}</i> and take them to a local school. <i>{We zoom out to reveal that the school is being shown on a computer. The school fades}</i> That buys the school a computer, <i>{Crack is seen sneaking away with the computer}</i> which I sneak out with after charming <i>{Crack sneaks off-screen. A female schoolteacher wearing glasses enters and moves to the center of the screen, waving her arm and emitting hearts}</i> the horn-rimmed glasses off the media center lady. <i>{The teacher's glasses fly off}</i>
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| </p><p><i>{Scene changes to a stack of five computers. We then zoom out to see that Crack is quickly driving the truck, now loaded with computers and reading "totally legal", into a pawn shop}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> <i>{voiceover}</i> I take these computers to a local pawn shop, <i>{we zoom in on the pawn shop and the scene changes to Crack, a computer, and a stick-figure with an apron reading "p4wn"}</i> and exchange them for the weapons <i>{the pawn shopkeeper raises both arms, a cash register is heard, and the computer turns into a pile of pistols. Crack smiles and dances}</i> pandas need.
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| </p><p><i>{Scene changes to a blank screen.}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> <i>{voiceover}</i> And finally, <i>{Crack briefly peeks in from the left}</i> when nobody's looking, <i>{Crack sneaks in, holding a bag with a picture of a pistol on it, and makes his way over to a panda habitat at a zoo}</i> I dump these pistols into the panda habitat <i>{Crack throws the bag into the habitat}</i> down at the local zoo.
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| </p><p><i>{zoom on Crack's face, smiling}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> Did you hear that? <i>{places hand on chest}</i> I used the word "local" like three times. <i>{raises arm}</i> That means this good cause is even upittier than most! <i>{buzzer sound is heard, and a box displaying "Buzzword Rated", followed by three leaves, each containing the word "local", appear on the right side of the screen}</i>
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| </p><p><i>{Scene changes to the real Crack Stuntman, wearing his expensive sunglasses and leaning back in a chair. Behind him is a fence, and behind that are some bamboo trees. Bird sounds are heard.}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> We're destroying these poor creatures faster than ever before. <i>{looks at viewer}</i> If we don't give them the means to protect themselves when we come clear-cut <i>{raises arm to draw attention to bamboo trees}</i> their bamboo forests and build a five-star resort, who will?
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| </p><p><i>{A tray with a two-layered cocktail on it is brought into view}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> <i>{to offscreen waiter, angry and shaking fist}</i> <i>I</i> said several limes! This is <i>{raises two fingers}</i> <i>two</i> limes!
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| </p><p><i>{While this is said, engine noises are heard, and the bamboo trees behind Crack start to slowly lean over. Cut to the Pistols for Pandas logo}</i>
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| </p><p><b>CRACK STUNTMAN:</b> <i>{voiceover; as he speaks, the words appear above the logo}</i> Pistols For Pandas: This good cause is good...'cause!
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| </p>
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| <a id="Easter_Eggs" name="Easter_Eggs"></a><h2> <span class="mw-headline">Easter Eggs</span></h2>
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| <ul><li>Click on the panda nose at the end of the toon to see this exchange between Silent Rip and Gunhaver.
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| </li></ul>
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| <dl><dd><i>{Gunhaver and Silent Rip are seen firing lasers at two pandas in a bamboo forest.}</i>
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| </dd><dd><b>SILENT RIP:</b> Uh, Cheat Commander, are we supposed to be fighting the pandas or helping them?
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| </dd><dd><b>GUNHAVER:</b> Who cares? <i>{close up of Gunhaver}</i> I'm just psyched I got my old job back! I love voice acting! <i>{babbles}</i> Look at that sweet, sweet lip sync.
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| </dd></dl>
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| <a id="Fun_Facts" name="Fun_Facts"></a><h2> <span class="mw-headline"> Fun Facts </span></h2>
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| <a id="Explanations" name="Explanations"></a><h3> <span class="mw-headline">Explanations</span></h3>
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| <ul><li>This toon was released around <a class="extiw" href="/index.php?title=Earth_Day" title="wikipedia:Earth Day">Earth Day</a> (referred to as Erf Day), a holiday dedicated to public awareness of environmental issues, such as deforestation and endangered species.
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| </li><li>"Local" is described as a buzzword due to the increasing popularity of <a class="extiw" href="/index.php?title=Localism_%28politics%29" title="wikipedia:Localism (politics)">localism</a>, such as the <a class="extiw" href="/index.php?title=Local_food" title="wikipedia:Local food">local food</a> movement.
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| </li></ul>
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| <a id="Trivia" name="Trivia"></a><h3> <span class="mw-headline">Trivia</span></h3>
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| <ul><li>The <a href="/index.php?title=YouTube" title="YouTube">YouTube</a> description for this toon is "Crack Stuntman brings awareness to the cause of arming pandas."
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| </li></ul>
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| <a id="Remarks" name="Remarks"></a><h3> <span class="mw-headline">Remarks</span></h3>
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| <ul><li>The shadow of Crack Stuntman's jaw is more accurate than in earlier cartoons.
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| </li><li>Crack Stuntman makes a remark about getting paid, but in reality, workers in 501c3 (i.e. "non-profit") organizations do get paid to work for them.
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| </li><li>The sparkles from Crack Stuntman's expensive sunglasses are the same as from the "sparkle filter" in <a href="/index.php?title=A_Death_Defying_Decemberween" title="A Death Defying Decemberween">A Death Defying Decemberween</a>.
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| </li></ul>
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| <a id="Goofs" name="Goofs"></a><h3> <span class="mw-headline">Goofs</span></h3>
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| <ul><li>At the very beginning of the toon, Crack Stuntman's outline on his chin does not align properly.
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| </li></ul>
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| <a id="Inside_References" name="Inside_References"></a><h3> <span class="mw-headline">Inside References</span></h3>
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| <ul><li><a href="/index.php?title=Pistols_For_Pandas_%28organization%29" title="Pistols For Pandas (organization)">Pistols For Pandas</a> was first referenced in <a href="/index.php?title=Marzipan%27s_Answering_Machine_Version_14.2" title="Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2">Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2</a>.
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| </li><li>Crack Stuntman mentions losing his contract to do Gunhaver's voice, which references the disappearance of his character because of his uncooperativeness in <a href="/index.php?title=The_Next_Epi-Snowed" title="The Next Epi-Snowed">The Next Epi-Snowed</a>.
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| <ul><li>"Contractual mumbo-jumbo" is a reference to "Corporate mumbo/jumbo" which was on Blue Laser's list of things that might crush Cheat Commandos in <a href="/index.php?title=The_Next_Epi-Snowed" title="The Next Epi-Snowed">The Next Epi-Snowed</a>.
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| </li></ul>
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| </li><li>The phrase "cartoon man show" is a reference to <a href="/index.php?title=Fan_Costumes_%2707" title="Fan Costumes '07">Fan Costumes '07</a>.
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| </li><li>Crack Stuntman's line "But <a href="/index.php?title=I%27m" title="I'm">I'm</a> still get paid, right?" is similar to the <a class="mw-redirect" href="/index.php?title=Temporarios" title="Temporarios">Temporarios</a> slogan in <a href="/index.php?title=strong_badathlon" title="strong badathlon">strong badathlon</a>, "Cuz I'm don't get paid!"
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| </li><li>The <a href="/index.php?title=Internet_Slang" title="Internet Slang">internet slang</a> spelling of "p4wn" also appeared in <a href="/index.php?title=Teen_Girl_Squad_Issue_10" title="Teen Girl Squad Issue 10">Teen Girl Squad Issue 10</a>.
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| </li><li>The stickman drawing version of Crack Stuntman makes <a href="/index.php?title=Sound_Effects" title="Sound Effects">Homsar's walking noise</a> when sneaking.
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| </li><li>Crack Stuntman is paid with the "Holler for a Dollar" money from <a href="/index.php?title=An_Important_Rap_Song" title="An Important Rap Song">An Important Rap Song</a>.
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| </li><li>The slogan "This good cause is good...'cause!" echoes one of the fortunes from <a href="/index.php?title=Fortune_Cookies" title="Fortune Cookies">Fortune Cookies</a>: "You will fight for a just cause, just 'cause."
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| </li><li>The stickman Crack Stuntman uses a flip-top Zippo lighter to incinerate the one dollar bill in the same way that Strong Bad often uses his <a href="/index.php?title=BMW_Lighter" title="BMW Lighter">BMW Lighter</a>.
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| </li><li>The word "Earth" being misspelled as "erf" could be a reference to <a href="/index.php?title=bike_thief" title="bike thief">bike thief</a>, where "Earth" was misspelled as "earf".
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| </li></ul>
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| <a id="Real-World_References" name="Real-World_References"></a><h3> <span class="mw-headline">Real-World References</span></h3>
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| <ul><li>The cereal prize is the <a class="extiw" href="/index.php?title=Wacky_WallWalker" title="wikipedia:Wacky WallWalker">Wacky WallWalker</a>.
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| </li><li>Crack Stuntman using the box tops to buy computers is a reference to <a class="external text" href="http://www.boxtops4education.com/Default.aspx" rel="nofollow" title="http://www.boxtops4education.com/Default.aspx">Box Tops for Education</a>, a nationwide fund raising program created by <a class="extiw" href="/index.php?title=General_Mills" title="wikipedia:General Mills"> General Mills</a>, in which students save the box tops found on cereal boxes and other products, and bring the box tops into school, so that the school can receive money for them.
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| </li></ul>
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| <a id="External_Links" name="External_Links"></a><h2> <span class="mw-headline">External Links</span></h2>
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| <ul><li><a class="extiw" href="https://homestarrunner.com/toons/pistols-for-pandas" title="hr:toons/pistols-for-pandas">watch "Pistols for Pandas"</a>
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| </li><li><a class="extiw" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHY_xOj2M_g" title="youtube:sHY xOj2M g">watch "Pistols for Pandas"</a> on <a href="/index.php?title=YouTube" title="YouTube">YouTube</a>
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| </li><li><a class="extiw" href="https://old.homestarrunner.com/pistols4pandas.html" title="oldhr:pistols4pandas.html">watch "Pistols for Pandas"</a> on the old <a href="/index.php?title=Flash" title="Flash">Flash</a> site
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| </li><li><a class="extiw" href="https://old.homestarrunner.com/earthday.swf" title="oldhr:earthday.swf">view the Flash file for "Pistols for Pandas"</a>
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| </li><li><a class="extiw" href="http://forum.hrwiki.org/viewtopic.php?t=15286" title="forum:15286">forum thread re: "Pistols for Pandas"</a>
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| </li></ul>
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