the paper

Strong Bad Email #173

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"Did you hear that? It said 'Preeeeow!'"

This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the pseudocharacter, see The Paper.

Strong Bad reminisces about The Paper as it passes away.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Paper, Lil' Strong Bad, Lil' Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, Homsar, Bubs, New Paper, Coach Z (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Gymnasium, The Island

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, June 11, 2007

Running Time: 3:08

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Six

Transcript

STRONG BAD: Check the deck, y'all! Press eject, y'all! Well, it's another email and I'm about to reject y'all!

subject: The Paper...

Dear Strongbad,
Is the Paper really quitting? Could you tell me the best
moment that you had with the paper?
Thank You
Kyle Williams
North Ogden, Utah

{Strong Bad reads the state as "Eww-tah".}

STRONG BAD: {typing} No, The Paper's not quitting, Kyle, you total Ogdenite. Ol' Papes is at the top of his game, the prime of his time, the cusp of his stuff!

{The printer falls onto Strong Bad, knocking him offscreen.}

STRONG BAD: OW!!!

{Cut back to show the full computer room. The wrecked printer is on the ground, with Strong Bad reeling next to it. The printer prints a sheet with a sickly, distorted sound. A dramatic chord plays. Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy QUItTinG sTROng BBBaD".}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} THE PAPER! NO!!!

{Cut back to a shot of the whole screen.}

STRONG BAD: Why do all my thirty-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!

{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which prints out some more text reading "wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy."}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} We sure did, pal.

{Cut back}

STRONG BAD: Why, I remember the day you were born like it was about to happen in a wavy flashback...

{Harp music plays. It transitions to Lil' Strong Bad and Strong Sad, in front of a computer and printer. Strong Sad is typing.}

LIL' STRONG BAD: Hurry up, Diaper Stripe! I wanna print out that butt I made out of hyphens and dollar signs!

{Strong Sad hits a key, and a paper prints out of the printer.}

LIL' STRONG BAD: Did you hear that?

{Cut to a closeup of The Paper coming out of the printer, which reads "Preeeeow, world."}

LIL' STRONG BAD: {offscreen} It said "Preeeeow!"

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And you were always phenomenal over the boards on defense!

{Cut to the stadium. Strong Bad is wearing a headband, dancing in front of a basketball hoop as though blocking it. Homestar Runner holds a football and is wearing kneepads and a purple shirt that reads "Team Kneepads 15". The scoreboard gives a score of "?" for the Home team and "$" for the Visitors.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Homestar had the ball at the top of the key. {bounces the football twice} Dribble, dribble, {throws it toward the hoop} shoot!

{The Paper comes down reading "Manute Bol" in front of the hoop, blocking the shot. Strong Bad looks up.}

STRONG BAD: Ooooh! {closeup} Get that weak mess outta here!

{Cut to a closeup of Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, man! Wish I had a time-and-space-transcending piece of paper on my team.

{Cut back a bit. Homsar is hovering in midair behind Homestar, wearing a similar shirt but with the number ".4". He has a kneepad on his hat instead of his legs.}

HOMSAR: {his hat flies offscreen} AaAaAaAaAaAaA {his hat lands on Strong Bad} aAaAaAaAa...

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, over Homsar} I will admit, I wasn't crazy about your goth phase.

{Cut to Strong Bad in the computer room, in front of the Compy. A black version of The Paper designed to resemble bat wings comes down with a purple glow and a drop of blood that slowly drips off. It has the usual text printed in a Gothic font, but it's nearly unreadable.}

STRONG BAD: Ahh! {Looks up, holds up his hands in a defensive stance.}

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of the Compy up close.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Or your preppy phase, for that matter.

{The Paper comes down. It appears to be wearing a pink polo shirt with a turquoise scarf. The shirt has "Tennis" stitched into it with an image of a tennis racket above it. Only the word "golf" is visible on The Paper itself. Strong Bad looks up, then down.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} But you always watched out for your younger brothers and sisters.

{Another drop of blood drips down from The Paper. Cut to computer room with the Lappy on the desk. Homestar is wrapped up in paper dangling from the ceiling. A bottle of Mountain Dew is visible on the desk.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look, I was just trying to pour Mountain Dew on it! Ohwait. I mean Mello Yello on it! Ohwait. I mean Sierra Mist!

{Cut to a closeup of Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Fresca! {pronounced "fresha"} Surge!

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And who knows how many times you saved my shiny black keister?

{Cut to Strong Bad, on the Island, which has a hole in it and is slowly sinking. Strong Bad is wearing a ragged bandanna. Many shark fins appear circling the island.}

STRONG BAD: How is this island sinking?! I didn't even kill any end bosses!

{The Paper comes down reading "Anybody need a lift?"}

STRONG BAD: {looking up} The Paper! I thought you were still in Pyongyang! Let's go! Jump!

{He jumps up and grabs The Paper, which reels upwards. Cut back to a silhouetted version of the scene over a sunset. Strong Bad and The Paper appear to be flying away from the island. The Population: Tire video game music plays. The words "GAME OVER" and "PROGRAMMERS:" appear after a moment as the island sinks completely. Transition back to the computer room.}

STRONG BAD: I can't believe this is really it!

{Cut to a closeup of The Paper. With a dying sound, it prints out "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO."}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Farewell—

{Cut to a full shot. Strong Bad pats the printer.}

STRONG BAD: —my stripèd friend.

{Strong Bad pulls out the BMW Lighter. Cut to a closeup of The Paper again. Strong Bad burns it, leaving ashes that read "BYE NOW". Cut back.}

STRONG BAD: {singing, distressed} And The Paper goeth into the {a spotlight shines down on Strong Bad} niiIIiiIIiiIIght!

{The scene fades out, then back in to Strong Bad in front of the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {looking up} How's it comin' up there, Bubs?

{Bubs's hand drops down.}

BUBS: I'm almost finished!

{For a few seconds, Bubs grunts and socket wrench noises are heard.}

BUBS: {offscreen} There!

STRONG BAD: {typing} Alright, now hit us with some Preeow 2.0!

{A new paper comes down slowly making shuffling noises. A key with "@" is drawn on the left, and an envelope with Strong Bad's face in it is drawn on the right. The text and graphics on the new paper are slightly striped with white, and the "@" key is striped with cyan, yellow and magenta on the bottom.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} What the? How am I ever supposed to pronounce that garglemesh? {imitating the printer's noises} Heunh heownh heunh heownh vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue. Alright New Paper, you are officially on trial status. So ya better get to impressin'!

{New Paper comes down a little more, printing out an ASCII art butt made with hyphens and dollar signs, with "(but, a butt)" printed next to it.}

STRONG BAD: Hm. Well... that's a start.

Easter Eggs

• Click "Butt" at the end to see Homestar tangled in the Paper later on that day.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing to the tune of The NeverEnding Story} The blood is rushing to my head... Blacking out, blacking out, blacking out... {he blacks out}

• Click "impressin'" at the end to see a revisit of One Two, One Two.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Bouncing his football} Dribble dribble, shoot! Dribble dribble, shoot shoot! {Continues over Coach Z's lines}

COACH Z: {Leaning into frame} Ooh, dang! {Claps four times} Ooh, dang! {Claps four times}

{Both continue over Strong Bad's lines}

STRONG BAD: {Leaning into frame} Look! We're not doing this again. Look! We're not doing this again. {Record scratch, Homestar and Coach Z stop} WE'RE REALLY NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!

{Scoreboard changes from ? to G as the buzzer sounds.}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• "Preeeeow, world" is a reference to "hello world" programs.
• Strong Bad's comment about not having killed any end bosses is a reference to load bearing bosses, bosses in video games that, when defeated, result in the destruction of the surrounding environment.
• The way Strong Bad "cremates" the Paper using his BMW lighter after it "dies" is very reminiscent of a Viking funeral, where the deceased is cremated atop a pyre made from a boat, usually being lit by an archer launching a burning arrow at it (in this case, the printer is used as a stand-in for the boat used for Viking funerals).

Trivia

• This email was sent in by HRWiki member thewi2kbug.
• The Floppy Disk Container reads "Logo" and "colonel's bequest" in the flashbacks. In the present, it reads "rise of the triad".
• Strong Bad breaks the fourth wall by mentioning that he remembered first meeting The Paper like it was "about to happen in a wavy flashback".
• During the flashback of The Paper's goth phase, the screen of the Compy 386 reads, in part (this is all that is available in the Flash file):

a> See there Tompo,
wasted youth. I
six or eleven

• During the flashback of The Paper's preppy phase, the screen of the Compy 386 reads:

a> Kick the booty all day long, I
say. But, ya know, maybe not.

• During the flashback of Homestar being tangled up by The Paper, the screen of Lappy 486 reads:

]Look, Darius, if you want me to eat a Philly cheesesteak
instead of answering an email this week, you got it. No
skin off my back. I'll eat a couple-a Tastykakes while I'm
at it, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta skee-dat.

• The summary for the Podstar Runner RSS feed reads, "Strong Bad looks back at fond memories of The Paper as he bids farewell to his old pal."
• This email introduces Team Kneepads.

Remarks

• Strong Bad's printer seems to fall out of nowhere. While The Paper itself frequently appears from seemingly nowhere, this is the first time we have seen the printer do so.
• In more armies, The Paper came down wrinkled and torn. However, when it comes out of the printer here, it is not torn or wrinkled.
• Even though The Paper's plug falls out of the outlet, it is still able to print messages to Strong Bad.
• When the email was originally released, the background crowd noise after The Paper blocked Homestar's shot was somewhat louder and overlapped Homestar's line as well as Homsar's bit. By the end of the first day of release, the background cheers were reduced at the block, and eliminated altogether as Homestar begins to speak.
• Ordinarily, The Paper prints upside-down, with the last line toward the free edge of the page. When shown together with the printer, however, it prints right-side-up.
• In the goth The Paper flashback, the contrast on the Compy can be changed. Normally, this can't be done on zoomed-out shots. The contrast setting remains the same in the next flashback, rather than resetting, like it usually does.
• While "Click Here to Email Strong Bad strongbad@homestarrunner.com" is usually plastered over in podcasts, the Podstar version of this email leaves the text of the Goth The Paper unaltered.
• At the end of guitar, Strong Bad uses the same Lighter and only scorches The Paper.
• During the Homestar Easter egg, Homestar is slightly more to the left from where he was during the earlier flashback.

Goofs

• When the printer falls on top of Strong Bad, there is a section of paper sticking out of it. But when the printer is seen on the ground there's no paper until it starts printing.
• While The Paper is falling, its reflection is not seen in the Lappy's screen.
• There are extra lengths of paper sticking out when The Paper says, "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO." On the next close-up to The Paper, these extra lengths are missing.
• In the Easter egg, some of Coach Z's claps are out of sync to his movements. The same is also true for Homestar's dribble and shooting movements, shortly before Strong Bad appears.

Fixed Goofs

• During The Paper's "preppy" phase, the contrast control used to affect the area outside the Compy's screen.

Inside References

• The departure of The Paper was foretold in montage and implied in the previous email, more armies.
• Strong Bad's rhetorical question, "Why do all my 30-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!?" refers to the many malfunctions he has had in the past.
• Lil' Strong Bad's duck shirt is a variation of the Duckie Shirt.
• The pear and leaves wallpaper was first seen in the email no loafing.
• The computer seen in the flashback is the same computer used in the Email Processing Room.
• Homestar's "Kneepads Team" could be referring to "Homestar's Knees Tech", from mascot, or possibly Coach Z's "spring shin tryouts" in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2.
• The sport that Team Kneepads plays is similar to the sport played in In Search of the Yello Dello and A Jorb Well Done.
• As Strong Bad attempts to block Homestar's shot, he makes Homsar's walking noise, just as he did in retirement.
• Homestar is said to have the ball at the top of the key.
• Strong Bad's remark about "brothers and sisters" is a reference to animal, where he asks The Paper to "come on down and meet your new brother", the brother being the Lappy.
  • Strong Bad also pronounces "sisters" as he did in sisters.
• Homestar poured Mountain Dew on Strong Bad's other computers in anything and retirement.
• Strong Bad says "jump" when he jumps in the same manner as in alternate universe.
• The music when Strong Bad is carried off the island is from Population: Tire.
• Strong Bad calls The Paper his "stripèd friend".
• "And The Paper goeth into the niiIIiiIIiiIIght!" is a reference to the song in guitar, which Strong Bad ended by screaming that the dragon comes in the night. The Paper was burned with the BMW Lighter in both instances, but in guitar only the edge was scorched.
  • Strong Bad also mirrored this line in dragon, in which he replaced the word "dragon" with "Trogdor".
• The phrase on the New Paper, "but, a butt" is similar to Strong Bad's line in Trogdor Con '97, "...but, you're... a butt."
• This is another toon with Homestar Runner left behind in an Easter egg; in this case, with The Paper being wrapped around Homestar.
• The song Homestar sings is a reference to the Easter egg in the email anything, in which he sang a parody of the theme song of the 1984 fantasy movie The NeverEnding Story.
• After Strong Bad interrupts the rhythmic Easter egg, the scoreboard changes to G.
  • This, plus the "$" and "?", are irregular scores.

Real-World References

• Mountain Dew, Mello Yello, Sierra Mist, Fresca, and Surge are all citrus-flavored sodas.
• The Paper's printer strongly resembles the Panasonic KX-Pxxxx series of dot-matrix printer, most notably the KX-P1080i.
• The shirt Lil' Strong Sad is wearing is the same shirt Charlie Brown wears.
• The football Homestar dribbles in the gym is an old ball from the defunct XFL football league, founded by WWE owner Vince McMahon.
• Manute Bol was a Sudanese-born basketball player and activist. He was known for his height (7'7"/2.31 m), which allowed him to become a top shot blocker in the NBA.
• Goth is a subculture of many young people of North America, Europe, and Japan. It is commonly characterized by black or very dark colors, an interest in the macabre and gruesome, and a medieval aesthetic, hence the Paper displaying Gothic script, a script commonly used between the 12th and 16th centuries in Europe.
• Tastykakes are snack cakes made by the Tasty Baking Company in Philadelphia since 1914. Available for the most part only in the Eastern section of the US, the cakes are often shipped to people now in other parts of the world who grew up with the treats while living in the East.
• Pyongyang is the capital city of North Korea.

Fast Forward

• Despite its apparent death, The Paper makes a brief reappearance in email thunder, as well as in all the episodes of Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People.

DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Strong Bad)

STRONG BAD: {sadly} Oh, I can’t watch, Mike. I don't think I can watch.

MIKE: Strong Bad, come here.

STRONG BAD: No.

MIKE: Let me put my arm around you.

STRONG BAD: I'm too loud. I can't get that close to the mic.

MIKE: I can— I can pull you through this, okay?

STRONG BAD: Okay. {almost crying} Oh, The Paper... {whimpers}

MIKE: But he came back. But he came back, in Email 200.

STRONG BAD: No, no, that was a sham.

MIKE: And then you killed him.

STRONG BAD: That was a sham marriage.

MIKE: And then you killed him.

STRONG BAD: It was a sham marriage.

MIKE: {laughing} Um...

STRONG BAD: Ow! Oh, look at that.

MIKE: So there's—

STRONG BAD: An old Epson 20 Deuce. I think is what that model was called. Except it was called an Epsom.

MIKE: Epsom salt?

STRONG BAD: Like the salt, yeah. It was a knock-off.

MIKE: So that printer, was it recessed, like your lighting? Like your recessed lighting?

STRONG BAD: Ask Bubs. Bubs comes over to deal with my printers. Oh, that old wallpaper. Oh, and that devil ducky shirt, do you remember that?

MIKE: Nope.

STRONG BAD: One time, I— I put that and Homestar’s duck shirt, uh, in a dryer, together—

MIKE: Uh-huh. Who won?

STRONG BAD: —and made 'em duke it out.

MIKE: How'd you know who won?

STRONG BAD: Uh, it came out and it was a shirt with a flag of an eagle on it. Like, they, like mated in there, and had a baby, and it was a flag— an eagle flag.

MIKE: Uh, I think I might have myself some Team Kneepads shirt printed up, Strong Bad. How do you feel that—

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I wanna be number .4.

MIKE: Spud Webb used to—

STRONG BAD: Ooh!

MIKE: Spud Webb used to— Ooh, I like that Goth Paper.

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Oh man, that Paper was so elitist, it would never let me—

MIKE: Was it always at the country club?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, it would never let me into the country club.

MIKE: It had a yacht.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, and we had to race it in the Regatta one time. It was always getting the good girls, even when I'd turn into a werewolf on the basketball team; it still didn't like me.

MIKE: Um, what was I talking about, though?

STRONG BAD: {imitates the water spewing from the island}

MIKE: Oh, .4, you said you wanted to be team .4, or number .4.

STRONG BAD: I do.

MIKE: Spud Webb tried to be .4.

STRONG BAD: Really?

MIKE: Yeah.

STRONG BAD: They didn’t let him?

MIKE: They didn't let him, he was just number 4.

STRONG BAD: Aww. That's a good game ending, right there. Maybe, like, the ending of Jackal.

MIKE: Jackal or Contra, didn't Contra—

STRONG BAD: I think there's a nice sunset, with a helicopter.

MIKE: Un-huh.

{pause until The Paper burns}

STRONG BAD: {whimpers, on the verge of tears} Ohhhhh... That was recessed lighting, we got, Bubs rigged up a spotlight on our recessed lighting for that one. {pause} Like, I don't even know where he was. He may have been in another dimension. I think, maybe The Paper comes down from another dimension, Mike.

MIKE: I believe it may, seems like it does, 'cause we see a pretty wide view of your computer frequently, and there's no printer.

STRONG BAD: I always feel like this Paper is based on this old Canon Inkjet.

MIKE: That, what, the New Paper?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, but it wasn't called "inkjet" it was called, like, "photosash".

MIKE: Bubble, uh—

STRONG BAD: Bubblejet!

MIKE: Yeah, they had "bubblejet"

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I think it might've been a "bubblejet".

MIKE: Think there were really bubbles in there? That would have been a problem!

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} Yeah, it was the cutest— the cutest printer. Ooh, a butt! A little saucy.

{Mike laughs}

Fun Facts

• Epsom salt, or magnesium sulfate, is a chemical compound with a variety of uses.
• Spud Webb is a retired professional basketball point guard.
• A regatta is a term used to describe either a boat race, or series of boat races.
• Jackal and Contra are both video games created by Konami.
  • In Jackal, players assume the roles of soldiers in jeeps to save POWs.
  • In Contra, players control a commando who battles waves of enemies to save the Earth from an alien race known as Red Falcon.

External Links

• watch "the paper"
• watch "the paper" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "the paper"
• forum thread re: "the paper"