date

This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the toon, see Date Nite.

Strong Bad Email #81

watch ← stunt double impression →

What really happens when Homestar and Marzipan go on a date?

Somebody asks Strong Bad what a date with Homestar and Marzipan is like. The chilling result gives everyone the jibblies.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Strong Mad (voice only), Strong Sad, The Cheat, Bear holding a Shark

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Marshmallow's Last Stand, Strong Sad's Room, Strong Badia

Computer: Compy 386

Date: Monday, August 18, 2003

Running Time: 3:10 (original), 3:37 (YouTube version)

Page Title: Compy 386!!

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Three

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {mimicking typing noises as he types "strongbad_email.exe"} Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tep... {hits enter} ...tick.

{reads}

Dear Strong Bad,

Here's a question for ya. What do
you think happens when Homestar and
Marzipan go on a date?

Dynomite
Boston, MA

{Strong Bad says "Dyn-o-MITE!" for the addressee's name, and says "...uh, and the state Boston's in." for MA.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} You know I've done a lotta thinking on the subject. And yes, Boston, you guessed it, it gimme the jibblies. So in order to watch from a proper, safe distance I made up the...

{Strong Bad brings up the a> prompt and types run hsramerdsxr.exe as he keeps talking}

STRONG BAD: ...Homestar Runner and Marzipan Extra Real Dating Sim XR! {the game's title screen appears} Using the most state-of-the-art polygoniest technologies, we can see what an actual date with Marzipan and Homestar Runner would be like without the risk of personal injury. Or vomiting. I think it would go a little something...a-like-a-dis-a.

{Strong Bad dismisses the title screen, and the camera switches to the Compy's monitor. 3D, polygon-heavy images of Marzipan and Homestar Runner stand on the screen with a pixelated backdrop of the standard grassy field. Below the scene, there are words for each character: Duh!, Buh!, Fuh!, and ???. As Strong Bad clicks on the words, the character gains a quote bubble with the appropriate word:}

MARZIPAN: {on screen} DUH!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: FUH! DUH! DUH!

MARZIPAN: BUH! DUH! FUH! Strong Bad is on point!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: FUH!

{Strong Bad exits the program.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So that gives you a pretty good idea of the lurking horrors. But to really experience it firsthand we'd need to, like, get the Cheat to hide some kinda hidden camera, you know, in, maybe, that marshmallow place they always go to. So, we did. Let's check it out!

{Cut to a TV labeled "Strong Bad's New Secret Security Camera Monitor." It turns on, and we see a low-quality black and white feed of Homestar Runner and Marzipan sitting at a table. In the background the front door is visible, it has the text "Marshmallow's Last Stand" on it. Marzipan is frowning.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {on screen} Okay, okay, okay! Let's play again! What do you think I'll say next? Sid Hoffman, or Sid Frenchman?

MARZIPAN: This is the dumbest game I've ever played.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, c'mon! You're just being sore because you're losin'.

MARZIPAN: Okay, I'll go with Sid Hoffman.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sid Hoffffff...frenchman! Sorry! You lose again. I said Sid Frenchman.

MARZIPAN: Homestar, you said Sid Hoffrenchman. That was not even a choice.

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Oh, jeez. I don't think I can handle much more of this. Let's see what else we got on the tube.

{Strong Bad changes the channel to CAM 2. Strong Sad appears on the screen. As he talks, the camera zooms in and smashes him in the face as Strong Mad grunts offscreen. Strong Sad gains lumps on his forehead throughout the ordeal.}

STRONG SAD: {punched} Ow! {punched} Please! {punched} Quit! {punched} Punching! {punched twice} Me-in-the-face! {punched five times} Since when did you start wearing a class ring?

STRONG BAD: Oh, beautiful!

STRONG SAD: With a camera in it?

STRONG BAD: Nice work, big bro!

{Strong Bad changes to CAM 3, a view of Strong Badia.}

STRONG BAD: Everything seems to be in order in Strong Badia—

{The Cheat walks into the sight of the camera. He looks around.}

STRONG BAD: Oh! Perfect timing. Check out my security counter-measures.

{The Cheat touches the Tire and is instantly shocked by electricity.}

THE CHEAT: {screams, and looks miffed}

{A wooden prop of a bear holding a shark springs up.}

THE CHEAT: {screams louder, runs away wide-eyed}

STRONG BAD: Muwahaha! Look at the little guy run! The Cheat totally freaks out whenever he sees a bear holding a shark.

{Strong Bad switches back to CAM 1. Homestar is now kicking Marzipan in the shins.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Marzipan, can you feel that?

MARZIPAN: Yeahh...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What is that?

MARZIPAN: Well, you're kicking me in the shins.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I think I'd remember something like that.

{Homestar continues kicking Marzipan as Strong Bad talks.}

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. {waves at the screen} We also switched Homestar Runner's gourmet coffee with Super Mud!

{Homestar takes a quick sip of his "coffee" and immediately spits it all into Marzipan's face, while still kicking her in the shins.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa-ho-ho! That's great!

{View returns to the Compy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Marzipan's gotta face fulla super mud and I'm feelin' fine. The Paper, would you bring this fine email to a close?

{The Paper comes down.}

STRONG BAD: {still typing} I gotta go reset that bear-shark. You guys can play that game if you want.

{Strong Bad types "a> run hsramerdsxr.exe" and leaves.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the words "Lurking Horrors" to see a pulsating "Lurking Horrors" logo.
• At the end, click on "Marzipan's" to see more of what goes on during a Homestar and Marzipan date.

{Cut to the camera footage of Marshmallow's Last Stand.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun King! Chun King!

MARZIPAN: Homestar...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun King! Chun King!

MARZIPAN: Homestar, what are you doing?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Chun King! Chun King! Chun King! Chun King! Chun King!

MARZIPAN: {simultaneously} Stop it. You're getting on my nerves.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm trying to order the Chun King.

• Click on the words "Super Mud" to see a can of it.
• Click on the words "That Game" to play Homestar Runner's "Sid" game.
• Click on "hsramerdsxr.exe" to play Strong Bad's Homestar Runner and Marzipan Extra Real Dating Sim XR game.

Fun Facts

Trivia

• Mike Chapman provides the characters' voices in the dating simulation, making them sound very much like their Powered by The Cheat versions.
• Based on actual emails checked, rather than episodes filmed, this is the 100th email.
• The YouTube description for this email is "Strong Bad shows us what it's like when Homestar and Marzipan go on a date. Beware the lurking horrors!"

Remarks

• The Compy 386 seems to have a mouse in this email, though we still never see it.
• The Cheat touches the tire and gets a shock. However, the tire is made of rubber and rubber doesn't conduct electricity.
• Marzipan says that Homestar is kicking her in the "shins", continuing the ongoing debate regarding her physical anatomy.
• At the end of the email, when Strong Bad puts "hsramerdsxr.exe" on the screen, he only presses Enter instead of typing the whole file name in.

Goofs

• The Marzipan and Homestar characters in Strong Bad's video game are not rasterized, giving them a much higher resolution than all other elements in the game.
• The table appears to be levitating, as there is no leg in the middle holding it up. One may think that Marzipan's dress is concealing it, but when Homestar kicks Marzipan in the shins her dress moves to the right just enough to show that there is no leg.
• The kicking sound constantly plays during this part, sometimes even when Homestar is not kicking Marzipan.
• There seems to be a space in the word "close". The space is between "c" and "lose" at the end of the email.
• When Strong Mad is punching Strong Sad, the wall doesn't move, as if Strong Sad is going into Strong Mad's fist, rather than Strong Mad punching Strong Sad.
• When Strong Bad types, "We'd need to, like, get the Cheat to hide some kinda hidden camera" the first "T" in The Cheat's name remains lowercase.

Glitches

• It is possible to cheat on the Sid game by clicking the other answer before Homestar says it completely.
• When Marzipan blinks on the closed-circuit TV, her eyelids revert to their regular color.
• If the "Lurking Horrors" Easter egg is activated just before the scene at the television, the sound of the Easter egg will keep playing as Strong Bad turns on the TV.

Fixed Glitches

• Originally, if 20 points were achieved in the Sid game, it would show the player a "prize"— an image of Strong Bad on his computer with an "M" on it. It was obviously a glitch, and has since been fixed; the game now continues indefinitely.

Inside References

• The Cheat touching the Tire is a reference to the email "i rule."
• "Jibblies" is a reference to the email your friends.
• The noise in the lurking horrors Easter egg is the same as the secret eating banner in Meet Marshie.

Real-World References

• Strong Bad's delivery of the word "Dynomite" is a reference to the popular catchphrase from the '70s TV series Good Times.
• Homestar's coffee being replaced is a reference to old Folger's Crystals commercials, where a spokesperson would secretly replace a restaurant's coffee, and use hidden cameras to see if the diners could tell the difference.
• Chun King was a brand of canned Chinese food that was in production from the '40s to the '90s.

Fast Forward

• The Bear holding a Shark returns in various toons, and its history is elaborated on in myths & legends.
• Strong Bad is again described as "on point" in the email origins, when Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat form the On Point Kings.
• "Sid Hoffrenchman" is mentioned in a credit sequence in theme song.
• Homestar's blocky model in the dating simulator would be used again for "strongbad3Dtotal.wad" in SBCG4AP Advertisement.

DVD Version

• To access the Lurking Horrors and Super Mud Easter eggs, use the angle button on the DVD remote.
• The Dating Sim XR game is disabled for obvious reasons.
• The Sid Hoffman/Sid Frenchman Easter egg is still accessible, though it is now a video clip instead of an interactive game. To access it click on the hidden Strong Bad logo at the bottom left of the screen after the video.
• To view the Homestar and Marzipan "chun king" surveillance video Easter egg, click on the hidden Strong Bad logo at the bottom right of the screen after the video.
• The DVD version features hidden audio commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Marzipan, Matt Chapman)

MIKE: Here we are again, joined in... the commentary with Marzipan— by Marzipan.

MARZIPAN: Yeah, thanks for inviting me, Mike and Matt.

MIKE: No problem. {laughs}

MARZIPAN: {after a pause} Well, I guess—I know you haven't asked yet, but in my opinion... I think that this Dynomite person... I think it's really none of his business.

MIKE: Oh, what goes on on a date?

MARZIPAN: Yeah.

MIKE: Yeah, it's private, between you and Homestar.

MARZIPAN: I agree, but don't forget, we're acting, you know, Homestar's not really my boyfriend.

MIKE: {amused} Really? He just plays your boyfriend on Strong Bad Emails?

MATT: He doesn't do a very good job of playing your boyfriend.

MARZIPAN: Mm, that's true, but I— I have several other boyfriends.

MATT: Really?

MARZIPAN: Yes, but let— I— {becomes quiet} I don't want to discuss that subject.

MATT: Have you ever played this game that Strong Bad made of you guys?

MARZIPAN: I did play it a couple of times.

MIKE: {indiscernible}

MATT: {simultaneously} That's pretty good, there. That 3D Marzipan, that's pretty advanced.

MIKE: Your voice is pretty good, too.

MARZIPAN: Yeah, uh— again, I'm impressed with the costume design.

MIKE: {laughs} You know, that's me doing the voice, Marzipan, for that game.

MATT: Yeah. That's Mike—

MARZIPAN: I was wondering, yeah.

MATT: {simultaneously} —doing your voice.

MIKE: It sounded just like you, though.

MARZIPAN: Well, I— Mike, I— I don't think you're very good at impersonating me.

MIKE: {laughs} I'm great at impersonating all of the characters.

MARZIPAN: Mike, don't— please don't touch me.

MIKE: {laughs} Marzipan. {laughs, then sighs} {pause} Do you and Homestar play this game a lot?

MARZIPAN: We don't. In— a little bit later here... I had asked for a stunt... woman to be brought in.

MIKE: {laughs} Oh, when he's kicking you, you mean?

MARZIPAN: Yeah.

MIKE: But...

MARZIPAN: But they didn't bring one in.

MIKE: {laughs} I— I can't imagine it would be very easy to find a stunt double for you.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Most people don't have your— you have a unique physique.

MARZIPAN: Well, they had wigs, you know. {Mike laughs}

MATT: Is that table just sitting on you guys' laps? {laughs}

MARZIPAN: It was extremely uncomfortable, I was very unhappy with the production designer.

MATT: It looks like you're carryin' most of the weight, there. Why doesn't that table have, like, a— s— legs or a stand?

MARZIPAN: I don't know, they just don't treat us very well sometimes.

MATT: Somebody's not treatin' Strong Sad very well right now.

MARZIPAN: I know, I know. We're gonna call the union in eventually.

MATT: Here's your— is this one of your real boyfriends? The Cheat?

MARZIPAN: Umm, I don't wanna go there, Matt. {Mike laughs}

MATT: {laughs} Ohh! {laughs} Excuse me! {pause} What do you think of that bear shark? I think that sha—that thing is kinda cute.

MARZIPAN: He i— he is attractive.

MATT: Yeah.

MARZIPAN: Ow! See? I just can't even watch that.

MIKE: {laughs} So w— are those really your shins?

MARZIPAN: Well, don't tell anybody, but... I don't really have legs.

MIKE: {laughs} {amused} Really?

MARZIPAN: Well, yeah, but again, I really don't want to go there.

MATT: All right. Maybe we shouldn'ta put it on this DVD.

MARZIPAN: {sound of displeasure} {Mike and Matt laugh}

MIKE: You don't seem to be enjoying yourself very much, Marzipan.

MARZIPAN: Well, that wasn't mud, it— it was actually chocolate, because that's what I requested, but...

MIKE: Oh, that's good.

MATT: That's not bad—

MARZIPAN: Yeah.

MATT: —getting squirted in the face with chocolate.

MARZIPAN: But then when Homestar tried to lick it off at the end of the—

MIKE: Eww.

MATT: {simultaneously} Eww, stop.

MARZIPAN: Yeah, it was really gross.

Easter Egg Transcript

MIKE: So what do you think of this, Marzipan? {laughs}

MARZIPAN: Well, I— I was thinking we should go out and get some Vietnamese, or Thai, or some kinda Asian lunch, after this.

MIKE: {indiscernible}

MATT: {simultaneously} That sounds good.

MIKE: I'll do it.

YouTube Version

• The "Lurking Horrors", "Chunking", and Dating Sim XR Easter eggs are all disabled and do not play.
• The "Super Mud" Easter egg pops up automatically.
• The Sid Game Easter egg now plays as an extra scene at the end of the video.

  HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, so what do you think I'm gonna say? Sid Hoffman or Sid Frenchman?

  {"Sid Frenchman" is selected}

  HOMESTAR: Sid Frenchman. {the point counter goes up by 1 with a ding} Sid Hoffman or Sid Frenchman?

  {"Sid Frenchman" is selected}

  HOMESTAR: Sid Hoffman. {a buzzer sounds, and the choice wobbles and falls off the screen} Sid Hoffman or Sid Frenchman?

  {"Sid Hoffman" is selected}

  HOMESTAR: Sid Frenchman. {a buzzer sounds, and the choice wobbles and falls off the screen}

External Links

• watch "date"
• watch "date" on YouTube
• watch "date" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "date"
• play "Homestar Runner and Marzipan Extra Real Dating Sim XR"
• view the Flash file for "Homestar Runner and Marzipan Extra Real Dating Sim XR"