dangeresque 3

Strong Bad Email #106

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"Looks like we're gonna have to jump!"

This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the SBCG4AP episode, see Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective. For other uses, see Dangeresque.

On receiving an email about Dangeresque 3, Strong Bad reveals that he hasn't made it. Instead, he gives us a director's cut of Dangeresque 1.

Cast (in order of appearance):

• Strong Bad as Dangeresque
• The Cheat as Istanbul
• Coach Z as Renaldo
• Homestar Runner as Dangeresque Too
• Strong Sad as Hot Tub
• The King of Town as Perducci
• Strong Mad as Killingyouguy
• Marzipan as Cutesy Buttons

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Smoky Office, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Bubs' Concession Stand

Computer: Compy 386

Date: Monday, June 21, 2004

Running Time: 4:54

Page Title: Compy 386!!

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Four, Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVD, SBCG4AP Collector's DVD (select releases)

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Oh, here comes little email, with a gun in his hand...

{reading}

hi there strong bad,

i was just wondering, when is
dangeresque 3 comeing out?

yours truly,
john newell, on

{Strong Bad pronounces "comeing" as it is written ("koh-may-ing") He also pronounces "john newell, on" (Ontario) as "johnny well, on."}

STRONG BAD: Whoa. I left my Johnny Well on. {He deletes "on" and types "off."} Johnny Well: off.

{The sound of a large machine powering down is heard.}

STRONG BAD: Man, peoples won't leave me alone about this one! {clears screen, typing} Okay,okay,okay,okay. Dangeresque 3 production update! Day 114 {says "one-fourteen"}: Things are comeing {again pronounced "koh-may-ing"} along right on schedule. So far, we seem to have only hit one major snag. Um, and that is I haven't um, {as he types, the text gets smaller and Strong Bad speaks under his breath} made Dangeresque 3 yet. {clears screen, text size returns to normal} But, before you start throwing full wine bottles at your computer screen, let me offer this as a cop-out: the digitally remastered director's cut of: Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, too?

{Cut via static to Strong Bad wearing his Dangeresque glasses, sitting in the Gremlin, pretending to drive and humming the Dangeresque theme tune. The Cheat repeatedly runs by in the background holding a small tree to give the impression of movement. A card is held up in front of the camera, moving around a little, reading: Dangeresque 1: "Dangeresque, Too?" followed by another, reading "Not in 3-D."}

DANGERESQUE: Brring... brring... Oh, my car phone. {He picks up a VCR with a phone cord coming out of it.} You got Dangeresque. Who this is?

{Cut to Coach Z in his Renaldo costume. He is looking straight at the camera.}

COACH Z: Now?

STRONG BAD: {whispering, off-screen} Yeah, go, go.

RENALDO: {He turns away from the camera and holds an unplugged phone receiver up to his ear.} Dangeresque, it's Renaldo. I need you back here away, right? I mean, right away.

DANGERESQUE: {off-screen} Uh, I'm in a car right now, but I can drive it to the office.

RENALDO: {unemotionally} Sounds like a plan.

COACH Z: {turns back to the camera} How was tha—

{Cut to Dangeresque in his car.}

DANGERESQUE: Hang on, car phone! Get ready for some fancy driving!

{Strong Bad makes the sound of a car squealing around corners while the camera moves left to make it seem as if he's moving forwards. One of the Gremlin's hubcaps rolls from the left of the screen. Then cut to the office. Dangeresque opens the door and walks in.}

RENALDO: What took you so long?

DANGERESQUE: Oh, I had to swing by Cool Weapons Surplus for a new nunchuck gun. {He holds up a gun with a nunchaku taped to it.} And a Reesy Cup milkshake. {He holds up a milkshake cup with "Reesy Cup" printed on it.}

RENALDO: Well, anyways, I called you in to meet your new partner: Dangeresque, too?

{The camera pans right to Homestar Runner, wearing sunglasses.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: The name's Dangeresque. Nice to meet ya.

DANGERESQUE: Whaaa?

RENALDO: Dangeresque!

DANGERESQUE: Yeah?
DANGERESQUE TOO: {simultaneously} What?

{They both turn and glare at each other to the accompaniment of a shock riff made by Strong Bad over the top.}

RENALDO: Perducci has intercepted the serum at the border! {He holds up the newspaper from stunt double, this time with a taped-on headline reading "PERDUCCI IS THE BAD GUY."} If that serum doesn't make it through, they'll kidnap Cutesy Buttons!

DANGERESQUE & DANGERESQUE TOO: {shaking fists} Perducci!

{Cut to Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too playing racquetball in the basement with Strong Bad's rendition of the Dangeresque theme tune as an accompaniment. Dangeresque Too serves the ball and they play a frantic volley, which ends when Dangeresque nearly hits Dangeresque Too's head with the ball.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: {He removes his sunglasses.} What is your malfunction?

DANGERESQUE: Let's get one thing straight, meatball... face... butt: I work alone. 'Cept when I work with Renaldo... which is all the time.

DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh yeah? Well, you need me because I'm the only one that knows where Perducci is, and where that is... {hesitantly, as if forgetting his lines} is that he is... in... Istanbul.

DANGERESQUE: Istanbul! Of course!

{Blackout fade to The Field, with a musical interlude from Strong Bad. Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too are standing next to The Cheat, who is wearing a sandwich board reading "Istanbul."}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Perducci's got to be here around in Istanbul somewhere.

DANGERESQUE: I hope you're right. We've got to get that serum through...

DANGERESQUE TOO: Let's ask this passers-by.

{Strong Sad walks by, holding a sandwich.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: What do you know about Perducci, doughboy?

STRONG SAD: Ugh, I told you guys already I'm not going to be in your stupid movie!

{The frame "jumps." Same shot, but now Strong Bad is holding Strong Sad's sandwich.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: —what do you know about Perducci?

HOT TUB: {reluctantly} Only that I am not one of his minions.

DANGERESQUE TOO: Well, thanks anyways. Move it along, hot tub!

{Strong Sad walks out.}

DANGERESQUE: That stranger seemed to know a little bit too little about Perducci...

{With another musical interlude, blackout fade to Strong Sad and the King of Town (who is silhouetted), on top of Bubs' Concession Stand. The King of Town is wearing a bowler hat, playing the role of Perducci.}

PERDUCCI: What? Two Dangeresques? {He turns to the camera, revealing that he is wearing a blue coat, sunglasses and a name-tag reading "Hello, my name is perducci."} Well, they'll still be no match for my secret weapon!

{Cut to a silhouetted Strong Mad, whose gleaming white eyes are the only visible feature of his body. Strong Bad makes a scary tune over the top, then sings the first two notes of the Dangeresque theme song as the scene cuts to Homestar Runner and Strong Bad standing on top of a large sheet of wood, with lines drawn on it to look like the side of a tall building, holding a horizontal rope. The frame "jumps" again to the same shot, but rotated ninety degrees so that it looks as if the Dangeresques are climbing the building.}

DANGERESQUE: Once we get to the top of this high-scraper, we'll hopefully be able to throw some people off. Maybe even Perducci.

{They continue to "climb." Dangeresque Too's glasses fall onto the wood, which is quickly followed by cut to the top of the Concession Stand, where the Dangeresques meet the King of Town.}

PERDUCCI: Dangeresque!

DANGERESQUE TOO: Yeah?
DANGERESQUE: {simultaneously} What?

PERDUCCI: Allow me to introduce you to both my secret weapon and your doom: {Perducci's hat flies up} Killingyouguy!

{Strong Mad appears, raising his arms menacingly. The M on his singlet has been replaced with "KILLINGYOUGUY" and two post-its with a bullet hole and a scar drawn on have been stuck to his face. Strong Bad imitates a guitar screech over the top.}

DANGERESQUE TOO: Oh. Gad.

DANGERESQUE: That guy is tall.

DANGERESQUE & DANGERESQUE TOO: {to each other} You take the big guy.

DANGERESQUE TOO: The pipes are broken!

{He leaps off. Cut to Dangeresque Too, suspended by a rope, whirling around and kicking Strong Sad repeatedly in the face. Strong Sad has a paper bag with Strong Mad's face, a bullet hole and a scar drawn on it on his head and is wearing his singlet.}

STRONG SAD: {one exclamation for each hit} Oof! Ow! Ouff! Ouwh! Getting! Dizzy! Blacking! Out! Oof! Geez! Oouf!

{Cut to Dangeresque, Renaldo (silhouetted) and Dangeresque Too (looking down on the fallen Killingyouguy).}

RENALDO: Nice work there, Dangeresque!

DANGERESQUE & DANGERESQUE TOO: Thanks. {forced laugh} Ahahahahaha.

{Marzipan, as Cutesy Buttons, approaches Renaldo, holding a glass of iced tea, with ice cubes and mint bobbing on the surface.}

CUTESY BUTTONS: Mmm. Thanks for the serum, boys. Now I won't be kidnapped.

DANGERESQUE: Oh no...

DANGERESQUE & DANGERESQUE TOO: ...Looks like we're going to have to jump!

{They both jump off the Concession Stand and end in a freeze frame, silhouetted against a sunset. The credits roll while Strong Bad sings.}

STRONG BAD: Today is all right for tonight...
Riding in a Corvette, and feeling all right,
Today is all right for tonight!
Today is all right for tonight...
Riding in a Corvette, and feeling all right,
All right for tonight!

Written and directed by Strong Bad

Dangeresque — Strong Bad
Dangeresque — Homestar Runner
Renaldo — Coach Z
Perducci — The King of Town
Cutesy Buttons — Marzipan
Killingyouguy — Himself
Passerby(Hot Tub) — El Dumpo
Istanbul — The Cheat

Today is Alright 4 2Nite' written and performed by Strong Bad

{Cut to a montage of pictures; the pictures appear in the following order: Strong Bad preparing to eat Strong Sad's sandwich (with Strong Sad protesting in the background); The Cheat washing the Gremlin while Strong Bad holds the sandwich; and The Cheat painting Strong Mad black on top of the Concession Stand. Then the screen turns black and both Dangeresques' cool glasses appear on the screen. "The End?" appears underneath them. The song ends and The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on Strong Bad's Dangeresque glasses at the end for the option to download "Today is Alright 4 2Nite", a song from the movie made by Strong Bad.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• At the end of stunt double, Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective was said to be coming out in June 2004, which is when this email came out. Also, it was supposed to be 'in 3D', which is why the sign in the beginning says 'not in 3D'.
• Istanbul is the largest city in Turkey.

Trivia

• This email was originally titled "dangeresque3" (without the space) but was changed within hours to "dangeresque 3".
• Assuming that production has continued uninterrupted for 114 straight days, if June 21, 2004 was the 114th day of production, that would place day 1 on February 29, meaning Strong Bad didn't even start Dangeresque 3 until seven-and-a-half months after stunt double.
  • If production was halted during weekends, then day 1 would be January 14, still almost six months after the release of stunt double.
• Up until the release of portrait, the file sbemail106.swf was the biggest email to date, coming in at 1265KB. The large size is mostly due to the 3 frames of TV static (167KB from those three frames alone), and the noisy still image (287KB) at the end.
• To promote Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective, this email was added to the Wii Nintendo Channel on November 17, 2008.
• The YouTube description for this email is "Strong Bad offers the digitally remastered director's cut of Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, Too?"

Remarks

• If the credits are indeed correct, Strong Bad can play various musical instruments including guitar and drums.
• Homestar is able to successfully act in a movie, despite his history of always getting his lines wrong when being filmed, as seen in Fluffy Puff Commercial and First Time Here?.
• When Strong Mad is lying down on top of Bubs', the Flash file reveals that if his whole body was there (only his legs are shown), he would most likely fall off.
• The nunchuck gun has no trigger.
• When Strong Bad and Homestar are suspended in air after jumping off the side of the building, Strong Bad's glasses are shown darker than the rest of his silhouette.
• When Homestar is doing his "Hurricane Kick", he is tied to a rope but the other side of the rope is hanging from the sky.

Goofs

• Strong Bad's Dangeresque glasses lack the temples over the ears in the car scene.

Inside References

• The Compy's text gets smaller as Strong Bad gets quieter, as it does in kids' book for the word "linebacker".
• Strong Bad's line "I work alone. 'Cept when I work with Renaldo. Which is all the time" is a line from "The Theme from Dangeresque II", from Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits.
• Dangeresque's door reads (backwards) DANGERESQUE Private Eye/Crooked Cop which is also a reference to the Strong Bad Sings CD.
• The VCR used for the car phone is from 12:00 and the Character Videos page.
• The newspaper is from stunt double.
  • To read the exact text of the newspaper, see its trivia section.
• "I'm gonna have to jump!" is a reference to stunt double, as is the whole email.
• The name tag that The King of Town wears is from The Luau.
• The car is the Gremlin from Homestarloween Party.
• Strong Bad saying "That guy is tall" may be a reference to Pumpkin Carve-nival where "Homestar" said, "All right, this guy is tall."
• The Cheat's "Istanbul" costume is a reference to A Decemberween Pageant where his "Popular Vote" costume looks almost the same.
• The line, "Here comes little email with a gun in his hand," is an exact mimic of the line "Here comes little THORAX with a gun in his hand," found on Gent Delabor's "Thorax Dynamic Intern" page. (See Real-World References)

Real-World References

• The Corvette is a sports car made by Chevrolet. Such cars are common in action films.
• "What is your malfunction?" is a reference to Stanley Kubrick's Vietnam War movie Full Metal Jacket.
• The scene of the two Dangeresques climbing up the "skyscraper" is a parody of the "Bat Climb", a running gag from the '60s Batman TV series. Also, the final shot of the movie that says "The End?" is a reference to the 1966 Batman movie, which ends with a similar question.
• Homestar's line "The pipes are broken!" spinning kick is a reference to the "Tatsumaki Senpuukyaku" (typically translated to "Hurricane Kick") attack from the Street Fighter series of games. Street Fighter II featured heavily compressed Japanese audio lines which were hard to understand, especially if the listener did not speak Japanese, and led to humorous misinterpretations.
• "Reesy Cup Milkshake" is a reference to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups candy, which is often served in milkshakes.
• "Doughboy" may be a reference to the Pillsbury Doughboy.
• "Here comes little email with a gun in his hand," in addition to the inside reference (See above), could also be reference to the song "Little Man With a Gun in His Hand" by the Minutemen, one of Matt Chapman's favorite bands.
  • "Little Man With a Gun in His Hand" is on the album Double Nickels on the Dime, which is one of Matt Chapman's all-time favorite albums.
• The hubcap coming off the Gremlin is a reference to the movie Bullitt, which was one of the first movies to have a "renegade cop" as its main character, and had one of the earliest and most influential car chase sequences in movie history. The car that Bullitt was chasing lost multiple hubcaps during the chase.

Fast Forward

• Homestar's "Hurricane Kick" becomes one of 1-Up's attacks in Stinkoman 20X6.
• A movie poster for Dangeresque 3 can be seen in the movie theater lobby in the movies. It is worth noting that it has no fixed release date.
• The Cheat's black paint is very similar to the yellow paint in Cool Things.
• Another teaser poster for Dangeresque 3 can be seen in Strong Bad's room in Strong Badia the Free. He mentions that he could've been done with Dangeresque 3 if he hadn't been working on the poster.
  • Also, in Strong Badia the Free, the narrator calls Strong Sad "doughboy" again.
• Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective was finally released on November 17, 2008 as episode four of Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People.
  • However, in a 2018 tweet Strong Bad remarked that "SBCG4AP doesn't count. As far as I'm concerned, Dangeresque 3 remains unreleased."
• Dangeresque Too's "the pipes are broken" line is referenced by Stingy Relenque in Dangeresque Puppet Squad: The Hot Jones Hijack.

DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching. This commentary is only available on the strongbad_email.exe Disc Four and Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVDs.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Matt Chapman, Mike Chapman)

MATT: Appropriately, this is our third try at the dangeresque 3 commentary.

MIKE: Yeah, last time, Ryan came in. 'Cuz the phone... Matt got a phone call.

MATT: But, see, and then Mike had the idea to keep doing the commentary while I was on the phone, and then I ruined it by stopping the recording.

MIKE: It would have been a good one.

MATT: It would've.

MIKE: Pretend you're on the phone.

MATT: All right. {in a high voice} Oh! Hello! This is... the phone!

MIKE: All right, so this was, uh, yee, about the time we said... Strong Bad said that, uh, Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective would come out.

MATT: June, of twenty-oh-...

MIKE: June of 2004. We sorta considered actually doing it, but, of course, you know, it was supposed to be in 3D, and we knew we weren't gonna...

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: See, this was our way of addressing it without really addressing it.

MATT: But, yeah. But, see, it's funny 'cuz people sort of, some people I remember...

MIKE: ...Still think that Dangeresque 3 is coming out.

MATT: Right. And they complained that, and it's just, but, you don't... you... you basically are getting Dangeresque 3. Here's something you've never seen, and people are, aw, they just put that old "Dangeresque 1" up there. Uh, so Strong—

MIKE: Oh! You can see The Cheat in this scene! Look! You can see him running behind the car.

MATT: Oh, really? Oh really?!

MIKE: Yeah, that was... did you frame that up?

MATT: (annoyed tone) Yeah! When we shot this, there with live cartoon characters in the backyard!

MIKE: Yeah, yeah, I mean, I gotta watch that stuff closer, because, I'm sure some other people may have noticed that.

MATT: {of Coach Z's first scene} Uh, I remember this being a problem a lot when we made movies as kids, with, uh, people, like, at the end of a take would immediately look at the camera and be like, "Was that okay? Did I do that right?" Whatever. Sort of like when we were doing the Peasant's Quest thing, my wife Jackie had a problem; she was never very confident with her performance.

MIKE: Sometimes she would start looking at the camera making a sour face before she was done with the line.

MATT: Yeah, she was not impressed with some of her performances.

{pause until the Reesy Cup milkshake}

MATT: Oooh. Let's go get those.

MIKE: Mm-hmm. Sonic?

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Sonic Burger?

MATT: I think we comment about Sonic Burger on the last DVD set. And how they're far away from us.

MIKE: Yeah. I know. I wish... we talk about it a lot for a place I've only eaten at, probably, three times in my life.

{pause until the racquetball scene}

MIKE: Racquetball.

MATT: The racquetball scene.

MIKE: There's good racquetball in, uh, Cape Fear, right?

MATT: Yeah, I think there's a very nice racquetball scene. And, uh, Splash!

MIKE: {laughing} Yeah.

MATT: John Candy is... he doesn't like playing. He gets really tired.

MIKE: We should start playing racquetball.

MATT: And start watching Splash!

(Mike laughs)

MATT: Right now! Take this out of the DVD player and put Splash in.

MIKE: I'll do it.

{pause until they reach "Istanbul"}

MIKE: So Strong Bad, er, rather, that's The Cheat there, Mike. The Cheat reprises his role as "The Popular Vote" from the Christmas episode as "Istanbul". We just had to modify his costume.

{pause}

MATT: This reminds me of, uh, my... our cousin Raphael that lived with us for a while, and I remember him being the one that I would try... I would just force to be in movies.

MIKE: (underneath Matt's talking) He never wanted to.

MATT: To the point of just, like, walking up to him with the camera and being like, "All right, here's the scene!" And he'd be like "No! Go away!"

{pause until Perducci's silhouette}

MATT: Who do you think that is, Mike? That black silhouette.

MIKE: That's the King, it's the King of Town.

MATT: I can't, who do you think that guy is...

MIKE: It's the King of Town...

MATT: In the derby hat...

MIKE: We just, we just showed him.

MATT: Who do you think THAT guy is?

MIKE: That's Strong Mad.

MATT: Oh.

MIKE: We made this cartoon. You should know.

MATT: This is a ref—a double reference to, obviously, the old Batman TV show where they would do this cheap special effect to be climbing up a wall, and then my friend Neil and I's attempt to do it in an episode of "Captain Idiot", I believe it was in.

MIKE: Not Agent Neil?

MATT: Yeah, and I think the first couple times we did it, we had the camera turned the wrong way, so we're climbing down the building.

MIKE: Ha ha! You guys are smart.

MATT: Man, Killingyouguy has a giant bullet hole in his face.

MIKE: He's a tough man.

MATT: (excited) Oh! That's like a buddy... cop...

MATT: That, of course, what we... it sounds like Ken says in "Street Fighter" when he does the Hurricane Kick, or whatever it's called. "The pipes are broken."

MIKE: This whole thing is taking place on the only appearance of the top of Bubs' Concession Stand.

MATT: Yeah. That a mint julep or just an iced tea...

MIKE: I think it's an iced tea with mint in it.

MATT: Oh yeah, mint juleps are white...

MIKE: I think Hopkins, Hopkins has some great...

MATT: Ooh, yeah.

MIKE: ...mint iced tea.

{Over the credits, Matt imitates the guitar in the music}

MIKE: Uh... Hot Tub.... Hot Tub tea.

MATT: Uh, what else, Mike? This is of course the...

MIKE: (interrupts) I kinda just want to listen to the song and watch this.

MATT: This is the end of the mon... the photo montage he speaks of in the montage email.

MIKE: That's true!

MATT: It's happening just now. {laughs} Didn't just backlight Strong Mad, they actually painted him black.

MIKE: Ah, the continue, er, the end.

MATT: Uh-oh.

Fun Facts

• The "Peasant's Quest thing" refers to the Peasant's Quest Movie Trailer, in which Jackie Chapman played the Baby Lady. The outtakes were later released in the Peasant's Quest Outtakes bonus feature on Everything Else, Volume 1.
• Sonic Burger is a chain of fast-food restaurants. The Brothers Chaps did in fact talk about Sonic Burger on the last DVD set, in the commentary for comic.
• Cape Fear is a 1991 thriller about public defender Sam Bowden (Nick Nolte) who is stalked by an ex-convict he defended. Bowden plays racquetball in early scenes.
• Splash is a 1984 movie about a man (played by Tom Hanks) who falls in love with a mermaid (played by Daryl Hannah). John Candy appears as Hanks' brother and the two play racquetball in a memorable scene where a serve by Candy ricochets and hits him in the head (similar to what nearly happens to Dangeresque Too).
• A mint julep is a mixed drink with mint leaves and bourbon.
• "The end credits photo montage" from montage is mentioned.

External Links

• watch "dangeresque 3"
• watch "dangeresque 3" on YouTube
• watch "dangeresque 3" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "dangeresque 3"
• forum thread re: "dangeresque 3"