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| https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/4/41/Subtitles_Project_Logo.png/80px-Subtitles_Project_Logo.png'''WM0'''
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'''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[being mean]].''' [https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail199.html watch this toon]
'''[[HRWiki:Subtitles|HRWikiSubtitlesProject]]'''
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome.<br />It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/sbemail199/en local viewer].
 
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| '''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[being mean]].''' <span class="hovul" style="font-size:smaller;background:#EEE;border:1px #999 solid;padding:2px;margin-left:6px;white-space:nowrap">[https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail199.html watch this toon]</span>
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To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome.<br />
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/sbemail199/en local viewer].
 
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<div class="hovul" style="font-size:70%; text-align:right;">
'''en''' 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail199/de|de]] 
'''en'''  [[Subtitles:sbemail199/de|de]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail199/he|he]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail199/es|es]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail199/fr|fr]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail199/nl|nl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail199/fi|fi]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail199/pl|pl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail199/pt-br|pt-br]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail199/tr|tr]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail199/he|he]] 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail199/es|es]] 
</div>
[[Subtitles:sbemail199/fr|fr]] 
<pre>&lt;?xml version=&quot;1.0&quot; encoding=&quot;utf-8&quot;?&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail199/nl|nl]] 
&lt;transcript xml:lang=&quot;en-us&quot; file=&quot;sbemail199.swf&quot; width=&quot;550&quot; height=&quot;400&quot;&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail199/fi|fi]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;16&quot; end=&quot;72&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I had to pay the doctor just to have this email removed. A-so smooth.&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail199/pl|pl]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;72&quot; end=&quot;88&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Dear Strong Bad,&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail199/pt-br|pt-br]] 
  &lt;line start=&quot;88&quot; end=&quot;152&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;I know you think being mean is fun, but I'm trying to teach my kids that that isn't right.&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail199/tr|tr]]
  &lt;line start=&quot;152&quot; end=&quot;220&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Can you say something about being nice and point out why being mean isn't always the best choice.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;220&quot; end=&quot;240&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Thanks! Nice Dad.&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;240&quot; end=&quot;274&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;You're coming to &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; for nice lessons?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;274&quot; end=&quot;328&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;You expect &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt; to tell your wussy kids that being mean isn't the best choice?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;328&quot; end=&quot;392&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I wonder what other gems are in your sent mail outbox.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;392&quot; end=&quot;401&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;ding&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;401&quot; end=&quot;420&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Dear Hungry Shark,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;420&quot; end=&quot;495&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;I'm trying to teach my wounded, bleeding sea lions that tearing other creatures apart is not the answer,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;495&quot; end=&quot;522&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;and I immediately thought of you!!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;522&quot; end=&quot;552&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Your Pal, Nice Dad.&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;552&quot; end=&quot;570&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;And there's probably one like...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;570&quot; end=&quot;639&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Hey 42 year-old online game playing man-child that still lives with his ex-wife's parents,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;639&quot; end=&quot;660&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;It's me, Nice Dad!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;660&quot; end=&quot;709&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;The boys need a lesson about responsibility and personal hygiene.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;709&quot; end=&quot;768&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Got time to stop by tonight between Goblin Keep Sieges?  -N.D.&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;768&quot; end=&quot;815&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;The only time I know of when being mean isn't the best choice&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;815&quot; end=&quot;868&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;is when someone nearby is holding a &lt;em&gt;really&lt;/em&gt; tall ice cream cone.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;868&quot; end=&quot;925&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Hey wow, Homestar. That's a great same-shirt-you-always-wear you have on today.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;925&quot; end=&quot;956&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Thanks, Strong Bad. Did you want some of my...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;956&quot; end=&quot;960&quot;&gt;&lt;homestar&gt;OW!&lt;/homestar&gt;&lt;strongbad&gt;Wah!&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;961&quot; end=&quot;964&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;splat&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;965&quot; end=&quot;983&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Wahahahaha!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;983&quot; end=&quot;1017&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh, wait. Being mean is the best choice there too.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1017&quot; end=&quot;1058&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Look, this is clearly not a job for me Nice Dad.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1058&quot; end=&quot;1083&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;(translation: Uncool Dad)&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1083&quot; end=&quot;1162&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;When it comes to teaching kids about behavior and choices and various other words from parenting books,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1162&quot; end=&quot;1196&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;there's only one place to look for answers,&lt;/line&gt; 
  &lt;line start=&quot;1196&quot; end=&quot;1222&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;the Drama Club!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1222&quot; end=&quot;1237&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Listen up, class.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1237&quot; end=&quot;1295&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Instead of watching me doze off for the last ten minutes like we usually do,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1295&quot; end=&quot;1330&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;I've got a special treat for you all today.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1330&quot; end=&quot;1390&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;The drama club is going to perform a state-required skit about being nice,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1390&quot; end=&quot;1425&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;so we can avoid losing our accreditation!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1426&quot; end=&quot;1444&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Now, give it up...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1444&quot; end=&quot;1494&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;for Coach Z's Nicetown Players!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1495&quot; end=&quot;1507&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;two claps&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;strongbad voiceover=&quot;yes&quot; volume=&quot;0.8&quot;&gt;You suck.&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1508&quot; end=&quot;1578&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot;&gt;Oh, man. What a great pratty. I wonder what kid's house this is.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1578&quot; end=&quot;1651&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt;I wonder if he likes me. Will I make the team? I wish my parents would stop fighting.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1651&quot; end=&quot;1685&quot; speaker=&quot;strongmad&quot;&gt;IS THIS MY CUE?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1685&quot; end=&quot;1732&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot;&gt;Hey, Pants Pull-Upper! Nice pulled-up... pants!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1732&quot; end=&quot;1772&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt; I shouldn't laugh, but I want to fit in.&lt;/line&gt;    &lt;line start=&quot;1772&quot; end=&quot;1795&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt;Good one, Head Male Cheerleader!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1795&quot; end=&quot;1809&quot; speaker=&quot;strongmad&quot;&gt;BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1809&quot; end=&quot;1873&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot;&gt;My parents' room is out of town in my car. Wanna go park out?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1873&quot; end=&quot;1898&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt;But what about that poor nerd?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1898&quot; end=&quot;1924&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot;&gt;Ah, who cares about...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1924&quot; end=&quot;1933&quot; speaker=&quot;strongmad&quot; sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;angry grunt&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1933&quot; end=&quot;1953&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot; sfx=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;scream&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1965&quot; end=&quot;1986&quot;&gt;&lt;coachz volume=&quot;0.7&quot;&gt;Ow... stop... quit it...&lt;/coachz&gt;&lt;strongmad sfx=&quot;sfx&quot; volume=&quot;0.7&quot;&gt;laugh&lt;/strongmad&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;1986&quot; end=&quot;2045&quot; speaker=&quot;marzipan&quot;&gt;This is why be'sing mean is not always the best choice.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2045&quot; end=&quot;2057&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot;&gt;Drap it!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2058&quot; end=&quot;2078&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;rap beat&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2078&quot; end=&quot;2111&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;rap beat&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;coachz&gt;Now being mean ain't the greatest choice!&lt;/coachz&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2111&quot; end=&quot;2121&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;rap beat&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;coachz&gt;My name's Coach Z and I—&lt;/coachz&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2122&quot; end=&quot;2138&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;rap beat&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;kingoftown&gt;Aaaand we've run out of time.&lt;/kingoftown&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2138&quot; end=&quot;2150&quot;&gt;&lt;strongbad voiceover=&quot;yes&quot; volume=&quot;0.8&quot;&gt;You suck.&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2150&quot; end=&quot;2178&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;See how lame that was Nice Dad?&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2178&quot; end=&quot;2264&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I'm sure your kids could learn all sorts of crap-kicked-out-of-them lessons from superbly acted dramatizations like that.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2264&quot; end=&quot;2287&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;But don't take it from me,&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2287&quot; end=&quot;2344&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;let's hear from our resident parenting expert, Hungry Shark.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2344&quot; end=&quot;2403&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot;&gt;Sometimes the taste of blood in the water is just so sweet, makes me wanna...&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2403&quot; end=&quot;2444&quot; speaker=&quot;other&quot;&gt;I just gon... uh, I'm gonna eat your kids.&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2444&quot; end=&quot;2477&quot; speaker=&quot;newpaper&quot;&gt;shuffling noises&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2485&quot; end=&quot;2493&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot;&gt;Drap it!&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2494&quot; end=&quot;2520&quot; speaker=&quot;sfx&quot;&gt;rap beat&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2520&quot; end=&quot;2553&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;rap beat&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;coachz&gt;Now being mean ain't the greatest choice!&lt;/coachz&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2553&quot; end=&quot;2586&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;rap beat&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;coachz&gt;My name's Coach Z and I likes to get noice!&lt;/coachz&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2586&quot; end=&quot;2610&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;rap beat&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;coachz&gt;If you don't believe me, listen to my voice;&lt;/coachz&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
  &lt;line start=&quot;2610&quot; end=&quot;2654&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;rap beat&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;coachz&gt;I'll tell ya why being &lt;em&gt;nice&lt;/em&gt; is the greatest choice!&lt;/coachz&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;/transcript&gt;</pre>
<div id="catlinks" class="catlinks">
 
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[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">[[Category:English Subtitles|English Subtitles]]</span>
 
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</div>
<pre>
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail199.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="72" speaker="strongbad">I had to pay the doctor just to have this email removed. A-so smooth.</line>
  <line start="72" end="88" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,</line>
  <line start="88" end="152" speaker="strongbad">"I know you think being mean is fun, but I'm trying to teach my kids that that isn't right.</line>
  <line start="152" end="220" speaker="strongbad">"Can you say something about being nice and point out why being mean isn't always the best choice.</line>
  <line start="220" end="240" speaker="strongbad">"Thanks! Nice Dad."</line>
  <line start="240" end="274" speaker="strongbad">You're coming to <em>me</em> for nice lessons?</line>
  <line start="274" end="328" speaker="strongbad">You expect <em>me</em> to tell your wussy kids that being mean isn't the best choice?</line>
  <line start="328" end="392" speaker="strongbad">I wonder what other gems are in your sent mail outbox.</line>
  <line start="392" end="401" speaker="sfx">ding</line>
  <line start="401" end="420" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Hungry Shark,</line>
  <line start="420" end="495" speaker="strongbad">"I'm trying to teach my wounded, bleeding sea lions that tearing other creatures apart is not the answer,</line>
  <line start="495" end="522" speaker="strongbad">"and I immediately thought of you!!</line>
  <line start="522" end="552" speaker="strongbad">"Your Pal, Nice Dad."</line>
  <line start="552" end="570" speaker="strongbad">And there's probably one like...</line>
  <line start="570" end="639" speaker="strongbad">"Hey 42 year-old online game playing man-child that still lives with his ex-wife's parents,</line>
  <line start="639" end="660" speaker="strongbad">"It's me, Nice Dad!</line>
  <line start="660" end="709" speaker="strongbad">"The boys need a lesson about responsibility and personal hygiene.</line>
  <line start="709" end="768" speaker="strongbad">"Got time to stop by tonight between Goblin Keep Sieges?  -N.D."</line>
  <line start="768" end="815" speaker="strongbad">The only time I know of when being mean isn't the best choice</line>
  <line start="815" end="868" speaker="strongbad">is when someone nearby is holding a <em>really</em> tall ice cream cone.</line>
  <line start="868" end="925" speaker="strongbad">Hey wow, Homestar. That's a great same-shirt-you-always-wear you have on today.</line>
  <line start="925" end="956" speaker="homestar">Thanks, Strong Bad. Did you want some of my...</line>
  <line start="956" end="960"><homestar>OW!</homestar><strongbad>Wah!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="961" end="964" speaker="sfx">splat</line>
  <line start="965" end="983" speaker="strongbad">Wahahahaha!</line>
  <line start="983" end="1017" speaker="strongbad">Oh, wait. Being mean is the best choice there too.</line>
  <line start="1017" end="1058" speaker="strongbad">Look, this is clearly not a job for me Nice Dad.</line>
  <line start="1058" end="1083" speaker="strongbad">(translation: Uncool Dad)</line>
  <line start="1083" end="1162" speaker="strongbad">When it comes to teaching kids about behavior and choices and various other words from parenting books,</line>
  <line start="1162" end="1196" speaker="strongbad">there's only one place to look for answers,</line> 
  <line start="1196" end="1222" speaker="strongbad">the Drama Club!</line>
  <line start="1222" end="1237" speaker="kingoftown">Listen up, class.</line>
  <line start="1237" end="1295" speaker="kingoftown">Instead of watching me doze off for the last ten minutes like we usually do,</line>
  <line start="1295" end="1330" speaker="kingoftown">I've got a special treat for you all today.</line>
  <line start="1330" end="1390" speaker="kingoftown">The drama club is going to perform a state-required skit about being nice,</line>
  <line start="1390" end="1425" speaker="kingoftown">so we can avoid losing our accreditation!</line>
  <line start="1426" end="1444" speaker="kingoftown">Now, give it up...</line>
  <line start="1444" end="1494" speaker="kingoftown">for Coach Z's Nicetown Players!</line>
  <line start="1495" end="1507"><sfx>two claps</sfx><strongbad voiceover="yes" volume="0.8">You suck.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1508" end="1578" speaker="coachz">Oh, man. What a great pratty. I wonder what kid's house this is.</line>
  <line start="1578" end="1651" speaker="marzipan">I wonder if he likes me. Will I make the team? I wish my parents would stop fighting.</line>
  <line start="1651" end="1685" speaker="strongmad">IS THIS MY CUE?</line>
  <line start="1685" end="1732" speaker="coachz">Hey, Pants Pull-Upper! Nice pulled-up... pants!</line>
  <line start="1732" end="1772" speaker="marzipan"> I shouldn't laugh, but I want to fit in.</line>    <line start="1772" end="1795" speaker="marzipan">Good one, Head Male Cheerleader!</line>
  <line start="1795" end="1809" speaker="strongmad">BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO...</line>
  <line start="1809" end="1873" speaker="coachz">My parents' room is out of town in my car. Wanna go park out?</line>
  <line start="1873" end="1898" speaker="marzipan">But what about that poor nerd?</line>
  <line start="1898" end="1924" speaker="coachz">Ah, who cares about...</line>
  <line start="1924" end="1933" speaker="strongmad" sfx="sfx">angry grunt</line>
  <line start="1933" end="1953" speaker="marzipan" sfx="sfx">scream</line>
  <line start="1965" end="1986"><coachz volume="0.7">Ow... stop... quit it...</coachz><strongmad sfx="sfx" volume="0.7">laugh</strongmad></line>
  <line start="1986" end="2045" speaker="marzipan">This is why be'sing mean is not always the best choice.</line>
  <line start="2045" end="2057" speaker="coachz">Drap it!</line>
  <line start="2058" end="2078" speaker="sfx">rap beat</line>
  <line start="2078" end="2111"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>Now being mean ain't the greatest choice!</coachz></line>
  <line start="2111" end="2121"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>My name's Coach Z and I—</coachz></line>
  <line start="2122" end="2138"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><kingoftown>Aaaand we've run out of time.</kingoftown></line>
  <line start="2138" end="2150"><strongbad voiceover="yes" volume="0.8">You suck.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="2150" end="2178" speaker="strongbad">See how lame that was Nice Dad?</line>
  <line start="2178" end="2264" speaker="strongbad">I'm sure your kids could learn all sorts of crap-kicked-out-of-them lessons from superbly acted dramatizations like that.</line>
  <line start="2264" end="2287" speaker="strongbad">But don't take it from me,</line>
  <line start="2287" end="2344" speaker="strongbad">let's hear from our resident parenting expert, Hungry Shark.</line>
  <line start="2344" end="2403" speaker="other">Sometimes the taste of blood in the water is just so sweet, makes me wanna...</line>
  <line start="2403" end="2444" speaker="other">I just gon... uh, I'm gonna eat your kids.</line>
  <line start="2444" end="2477" speaker="newpaper">shuffling noises</line>
  <line start="2485" end="2493" speaker="coachz">Drap it!</line>
  <line start="2494" end="2520" speaker="sfx">rap beat</line>
  <line start="2520" end="2553"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>Now being mean ain't the greatest choice!</coachz></line>
  <line start="2553" end="2586"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>My name's Coach Z and I likes to get noice!</coachz></line>
  <line start="2586" end="2610"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>If you don't believe me, listen to my voice;</coachz></line>
  <line start="2610" end="2654"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>I'll tell ya why being <em>nice</em> is the greatest choice!</coachz></line>
</transcript>
</pre>
[[Category:English Subtitles]]


Latest revision as of 14:24, 14 July 2026

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail199.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="72" speaker="strongbad">I had to pay the doctor just to have this email removed. A-so smooth.</line>
  <line start="72" end="88" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,</line>
  <line start="88" end="152" speaker="strongbad">"I know you think being mean is fun, but I'm trying to teach my kids that that isn't right.</line>
  <line start="152" end="220" speaker="strongbad">"Can you say something about being nice and point out why being mean isn't always the best choice.</line>
  <line start="220" end="240" speaker="strongbad">"Thanks! Nice Dad."</line>
  <line start="240" end="274" speaker="strongbad">You're coming to <em>me</em> for nice lessons?</line>
  <line start="274" end="328" speaker="strongbad">You expect <em>me</em> to tell your wussy kids that being mean isn't the best choice?</line>
  <line start="328" end="392" speaker="strongbad">I wonder what other gems are in your sent mail outbox.</line> 
  <line start="392" end="401" speaker="sfx">ding</line>
  <line start="401" end="420" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Hungry Shark,</line>
  <line start="420" end="495" speaker="strongbad">"I'm trying to teach my wounded, bleeding sea lions that tearing other creatures apart is not the answer,</line>
  <line start="495" end="522" speaker="strongbad">"and I immediately thought of you!!</line>
  <line start="522" end="552" speaker="strongbad">"Your Pal, Nice Dad."</line>
  <line start="552" end="570" speaker="strongbad">And there's probably one like...</line>
  <line start="570" end="639" speaker="strongbad">"Hey 42 year-old online game playing man-child that still lives with his ex-wife's parents,</line>
  <line start="639" end="660" speaker="strongbad">"It's me, Nice Dad!</line>
  <line start="660" end="709" speaker="strongbad">"The boys need a lesson about responsibility and personal hygiene.</line>
  <line start="709" end="768" speaker="strongbad">"Got time to stop by tonight between Goblin Keep Sieges?  -N.D."</line>
  <line start="768" end="815" speaker="strongbad">The only time I know of when being mean isn't the best choice</line>
  <line start="815" end="868" speaker="strongbad">is when someone nearby is holding a <em>really</em> tall ice cream cone.</line> 
  <line start="868" end="925" speaker="strongbad">Hey wow, Homestar. That's a great same-shirt-you-always-wear you have on today.</line>
  <line start="925" end="956" speaker="homestar">Thanks, Strong Bad. Did you want some of my...</line>
  <line start="956" end="960"><homestar>OW!</homestar><strongbad>Wah!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="961" end="964" speaker="sfx">splat</line>
  <line start="965" end="983" speaker="strongbad">Wahahahaha!</line>
  <line start="983" end="1017" speaker="strongbad">Oh, wait. Being mean is the best choice there too.</line>
  <line start="1017" end="1058" speaker="strongbad">Look, this is clearly not a job for me Nice Dad.</line>
  <line start="1058" end="1083" speaker="strongbad">(translation: Uncool Dad)</line>
  <line start="1083" end="1162" speaker="strongbad">When it comes to teaching kids about behavior and choices and various other words from parenting books,</line>
  <line start="1162" end="1196" speaker="strongbad">there's only one place to look for answers,</line>  
  <line start="1196" end="1222" speaker="strongbad">the Drama Club!</line>
  <line start="1222" end="1237" speaker="kingoftown">Listen up, class.</line>
  <line start="1237" end="1295" speaker="kingoftown">Instead of watching me doze off for the last ten minutes like we usually do,</line>
  <line start="1295" end="1330" speaker="kingoftown">I've got a special treat for you all today.</line>
  <line start="1330" end="1390" speaker="kingoftown">The drama club is going to perform a state-required skit about being nice,</line>
  <line start="1390" end="1425" speaker="kingoftown">so we can avoid losing our accreditation!</line>
  <line start="1426" end="1444" speaker="kingoftown">Now, give it up...</line>
  <line start="1444" end="1494" speaker="kingoftown">for Coach Z's Nicetown Players!</line>
  <line start="1495" end="1507"><sfx>two claps</sfx><strongbad voiceover="yes" volume="0.8">You suck.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1508" end="1578" speaker="coachz">Oh, man. What a great pratty. I wonder what kid's house this is.</line>
  <line start="1578" end="1651" speaker="marzipan">I wonder if he likes me. Will I make the team? I wish my parents would stop fighting.</line>
  <line start="1651" end="1685" speaker="strongmad">IS THIS MY CUE?</line>
  <line start="1685" end="1732" speaker="coachz">Hey, Pants Pull-Upper! Nice pulled-up... pants!</line>
  <line start="1732" end="1772" speaker="marzipan"> I shouldn't laugh, but I want to fit in.</line>    <line start="1772" end="1795" speaker="marzipan">Good one, Head Male Cheerleader!</line>
  <line start="1795" end="1809" speaker="strongmad">BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO...</line>
  <line start="1809" end="1873" speaker="coachz">My parents' room is out of town in my car. Wanna go park out?</line>
  <line start="1873" end="1898" speaker="marzipan">But what about that poor nerd?</line>
  <line start="1898" end="1924" speaker="coachz">Ah, who cares about...</line>
  <line start="1924" end="1933" speaker="strongmad" sfx="sfx">angry grunt</line>
  <line start="1933" end="1953" speaker="marzipan" sfx="sfx">scream</line>
  <line start="1965" end="1986"><coachz volume="0.7">Ow... stop... quit it...</coachz><strongmad sfx="sfx" volume="0.7">laugh</strongmad></line>
  <line start="1986" end="2045" speaker="marzipan">This is why be'sing mean is not always the best choice.</line>
  <line start="2045" end="2057" speaker="coachz">Drap it!</line>
  <line start="2058" end="2078" speaker="sfx">rap beat</line>
  <line start="2078" end="2111"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>Now being mean ain't the greatest choice!</coachz></line>
  <line start="2111" end="2121"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>My name's Coach Z and I—</coachz></line>
  <line start="2122" end="2138"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><kingoftown>Aaaand we've run out of time.</kingoftown></line>
  <line start="2138" end="2150"><strongbad voiceover="yes" volume="0.8">You suck.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="2150" end="2178" speaker="strongbad">See how lame that was Nice Dad?</line>
  <line start="2178" end="2264" speaker="strongbad">I'm sure your kids could learn all sorts of crap-kicked-out-of-them lessons from superbly acted dramatizations like that.</line>
  <line start="2264" end="2287" speaker="strongbad">But don't take it from me,</line>
  <line start="2287" end="2344" speaker="strongbad">let's hear from our resident parenting expert, Hungry Shark.</line>
  <line start="2344" end="2403" speaker="other">Sometimes the taste of blood in the water is just so sweet, makes me wanna...</line>
  <line start="2403" end="2444" speaker="other">I just gon... uh, I'm gonna eat your kids.</line>
  <line start="2444" end="2477" speaker="newpaper">shuffling noises</line>
  <line start="2485" end="2493" speaker="coachz">Drap it!</line>
  <line start="2494" end="2520" speaker="sfx">rap beat</line>
  <line start="2520" end="2553"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>Now being mean ain't the greatest choice!</coachz></line>
  <line start="2553" end="2586"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>My name's Coach Z and I likes to get noice!</coachz></line>
  <line start="2586" end="2610"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>If you don't believe me, listen to my voice;</coachz></line>
  <line start="2610" end="2654"><sfx>rap beat</sfx><coachz>I'll tell ya why being <em>nice</em> is the greatest choice!</coachz></line>
</transcript>
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