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'''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[record book]].''' [https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail134.html watch this toon]
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| '''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[record book]].''' <span class="hovul" style="font-size:smaller;background:#EEE;border:1px #999 solid;padding:2px;margin-left:6px;white-space:nowrap">[https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail134.html watch this toon]</span>
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'''en''' 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail134/de|de]] 
'''en'''  [[Subtitles:sbemail134/de|de]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail134/he|he]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail134/es|es]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail134/fr|fr]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail134/nl|nl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail134/fi|fi]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail134/pl|pl]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail134/pt-br|pt-br]]  [[Subtitles:sbemail134/tr|tr]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail134/he|he]] 
 
[[Subtitles:sbemail134/es|es]] 
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[[Subtitles:sbemail134/fr|fr]] 
<pre>&lt;?xml version=&quot;1.0&quot; encoding=&quot;utf-8&quot;?&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail134/nl|nl]] 
&lt;transcript xml:lang=&quot;en-us&quot; file=&quot;sbemail134.swf&quot; width=&quot;550&quot; height=&quot;400&quot;&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail134/fi|fi]] 
&lt;line start=&quot;19&quot; end=&quot;105&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Drape it over your aaaaaaarms, step out in styyyyyle, Strong Bad Emaaaaaaail...&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail134/pl|pl]] 
&lt;line start=&quot;109&quot; end=&quot;123&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Dear Strong Bad&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail134/pt-br|pt-br]] 
&lt;line start=&quot;127&quot; end=&quot;148&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;I was wondering if you were in the record book.&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
[[Subtitles:sbemail134/tr|tr]]
&lt;line start=&quot;153&quot; end=&quot;170&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;If so, what for?&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;171&quot; end=&quot;188&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;&quot;Nathan, TX.&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;192&quot; end=&quot;219&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Ooh, the Nathan TX!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;220&quot; end=&quot;281&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;That has like, way four more cylinders than the standard Nathan.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;286&quot; end=&quot;305&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Better Blue Book value, too.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;306&quot; end=&quot;337&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I can't remember if I'm in the record book or not.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;337&quot; end=&quot;356&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Seems like I should be.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;357&quot; end=&quot;372&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Let's take a look.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;375&quot; end=&quot;385&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;A book-look!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;387&quot; end=&quot;414&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;voiceover&quot;&gt;All right, let's see what we got in here.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;414&quot; end=&quot;436&quot;&gt;&lt;!--&lt;text&gt;Longest Showerless Streak&lt;/text&gt;--&gt;&lt;strongbad voiceover=&quot;y&quot;&gt;Sixty-five days?!&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;439&quot; end=&quot;457&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;y&quot;&gt;That's &lt;em&gt;way&lt;/em&gt; outdated!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;460&quot; end=&quot;510&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;y&quot;&gt;I'm pretty sure he's surpassed that one by several fortnights at this point.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;515&quot; end=&quot;540&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;y&quot;&gt;Dirtiest Diape— Whoa!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;540&quot; end=&quot;566&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;y&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;squishing noise&lt;/sfx&gt;Coffee, eggs, bacon!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;568&quot; end=&quot;577&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;y&quot;&gt;Oh, too bad,&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;580&quot; end=&quot;620&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot; voiceover=&quot;y&quot;&gt;I accidentally made breakfast all over whatever that record was for.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;625&quot; end=&quot;655&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Clearly, this book is in serious need of an update.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;660&quot; end=&quot;677&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Let's begin with the title.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;678&quot; end=&quot;687&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;How about:&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;688&quot; end=&quot;758&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Count Longardeaux's Book of Party Tricks, Redneck Jokes, and Worldly Records.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;759&quot; end=&quot;814&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Now that sounds like a book worthy of every toilet-side magazine basket.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;816&quot; end=&quot;846&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Now let's go see about updating some o' them records.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;846&quot; end=&quot;856&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;The Geddup Noise&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;861&quot; end=&quot;878&quot; speaker=&quot;strongsad&quot; sfx=&quot;y&quot;&gt;humming&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;878&quot; end=&quot;890&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;'Sup, double-bottom?&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;894&quot; end=&quot;905&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;'How much you weigh?&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;910&quot; end=&quot;931&quot; speaker=&quot;strongsad&quot;&gt;What do you wanna know that for?&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;933&quot; end=&quot;976&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Count Longardeaux has me out gathering new records for his record book.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;978&quot; end=&quot;1004&quot; speaker=&quot;strongsad&quot;&gt;Oh! Well then &lt;em&gt;this&lt;/em&gt; should interest you!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1005&quot; end=&quot;1064&quot; speaker=&quot;strongsad&quot;&gt;I've transcribed &lt;cite&gt;Paradise Lost&lt;/cite&gt; onto this single grain of basmati rice!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1071&quot; end=&quot;1091&quot; speaker=&quot;strongsad&quot;&gt;In four languages!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1091&quot; end=&quot;1131&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh, yeah! That &lt;em&gt;definitely&lt;/em&gt; deserves a record!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1133&quot; end=&quot;1163&quot;&gt;&lt;!--&lt;text&gt;Biggest Waste of Dump: Strong &quot;The Biggest Waste of Dump&quot; Sad&lt;/text&gt;--&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;buzzer noise&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1165&quot; end=&quot;1209&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;All right, King o' Town, I need some disgusting eating records.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1210&quot; end=&quot;1260&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Why don't you just, uh, have lunch, and I'm sure you'll set several without even trying.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1263&quot; end=&quot;1286&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Ooh! I like eating lunch!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1286&quot; end=&quot;1321&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Today I'm having a giant pile of salt!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1326&quot; end=&quot;1360&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Vwoooooooooooooooooo-foop!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1362&quot; end=&quot;1377&quot;&gt;&lt;strongbad&gt;Whoa! Nice woik!&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;kingoftown sfx=&quot;y&quot;&gt;hiccup&lt;/kingoftown&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1387&quot; end=&quot;1407&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot; sfx=&quot;y&quot;&gt;hiccup, hiccup&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1407&quot; end=&quot;1427&quot;&gt;&lt;strongbad&gt;What, you got-a some hiccups?&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;kingoftown sfx=&quot;y&quot;&gt;hiccup&lt;/kingoftown&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1430&quot; end=&quot;1471&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot;&gt;Nope. Those, my friend, are heart attacks!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1472&quot; end=&quot;1483&quot;&gt;&lt;!--&lt;text&gt;Least Healthiest (Man?): The King of Town&lt;/text&gt;--&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;buzzer noise&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1493&quot; end=&quot;1500&quot; speaker=&quot;kingoftown&quot; sfx=&quot;y&quot;&gt;hiccup&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1510&quot; end=&quot;1575&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;What do you call a redneck, with no teeth, that watches stock car racing all day?&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1578&quot; end=&quot;1593&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Ba-ha-ha-haaa!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1598&quot; end=&quot;1636&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Man, they do not wear shirts!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1638&quot; end=&quot;1700&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;So, Coach Z, what kind of wonderment do you have in store for us?&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1702&quot; end=&quot;1722&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;That's not shower-related?&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1723&quot; end=&quot;1842&quot; speaker=&quot;coachz&quot;&gt;Well, I'm gonna set the world record for puttin' nine pieces of chewed gum up on my face and singin' the &quot;I'm Just Me&quot; song and hoppin' around on one foot!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1844&quot; end=&quot;1886&quot;&gt;&lt;strongbad&gt;Coach...&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;coachz&gt;I'm just me! Can't you see? &lt;/coachz&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1889&quot; end=&quot;1928&quot;&gt;&lt;coachz&gt;I'm just a silly little bumblebee!&lt;/coachz&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;hitting noises&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1929&quot; end=&quot;1948&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh, please stop!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;1950&quot; end=&quot;2007&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Look, you can't just make up some random crap that no one else will ever do and call that a &quot;record.&quot;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2009&quot; end=&quot;2034&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Count Longardeaux would not stand for-&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2035&quot; end=&quot;2135&quot; speaker=&quot;homsar&quot;&gt;I'm just me! Can't you see? I'm just a silly little bumblebee!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2135&quot; end=&quot;2196&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;What does a redneck man call a dead possum lyin' in the middle of the road?&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2198&quot; end=&quot;2216&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Ba-ha-ha-haa!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2217&quot; end=&quot;2236&quot; speaker=&quot;homestar&quot;&gt;Probably sushi.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2236&quot; end=&quot;2250&quot;&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;audience groan&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2258&quot; end=&quot;2285&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Well, I think we're just about done here.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2285&quot; end=&quot;2336&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Strong Mad set the record for Most Macaronis Nailed To A Paper Towel Tube...&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2340&quot; end=&quot;2357&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;By Strong Mad.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2362&quot; end=&quot;2391&quot;&gt;&lt;strongbad&gt;Marzipan set the World Record for the pole vault.&lt;/strongbad&gt;&lt;!--&lt;text&gt;Suprisingly, No Photo Available&lt;/text&gt;--&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2397&quot; end=&quot;2424&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;And Bubs won Cutest Couple.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2428&quot; end=&quot;2449&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;Oh, wait, I forgot about me.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2454&quot; end=&quot;2488&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I &lt;em&gt;gots&lt;/em&gt; to get in this record book somehow.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2494&quot; end=&quot;2520&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;I'll get the record for...&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2522&quot; end=&quot;2538&quot; speaker=&quot;thecheat&quot;&gt;The Cheat noises&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2538&quot; end=&quot;2589&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;What?! &quot;Most rectangular mouth?!&quot; My mouth can be round!&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2589&quot; end=&quot;2596&quot; speaker=&quot;thecheat&quot;&gt;The Cheat noises&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2597&quot; end=&quot;2704&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;What a bunch of bull  hOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOO—&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2705&quot; end =&quot;2720&quot;&gt;&lt;!--&lt;text&gt;Longest 'Bull Honkey', 13.4 Seconds: The Human Strong Bad&lt;/text&gt;--&gt;&lt;sfx&gt;buzzer noise&lt;/sfx&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2730&quot; end=&quot;2759&quot; speaker=&quot;strongbad&quot;&gt;—nkey. Bull honkey.&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;line start=&quot;2760&quot; end=&quot;2781&quot;&gt;&lt;thepaper&gt;Preeeeeow&lt;/thepaper&gt;&lt;/line&gt;
&lt;/transcript&gt;</pre>
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[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">[[Category:English Subtitles|English Subtitles]]</span>
 
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</div>
<pre>
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail134.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="19" end="105" speaker="strongbad">Drape it over your aaaaaaarms, step out in styyyyyle, Strong Bad Emaaaaaaail...</line>
<line start="109" end="123" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad"</line>
<line start="127" end="148" speaker="strongbad">"I was wondering if you were in the record book."</line>
<line start="153" end="170" speaker="strongbad">"If so, what for?"</line>
<line start="171" end="188" speaker="strongbad">"Nathan, TX."</line>
<line start="192" end="219" speaker="strongbad">Ooh, the Nathan TX!</line>
<line start="220" end="281" speaker="strongbad">That has like, way four more cylinders than the standard Nathan.</line>
<line start="286" end="305" speaker="strongbad">Better Blue Book value, too.</line>
<line start="306" end="337" speaker="strongbad">I can't remember if I'm in the record book or not.</line>
<line start="337" end="356" speaker="strongbad">Seems like I should be.</line>
<line start="357" end="372" speaker="strongbad">Let's take a look.</line>
<line start="375" end="385" speaker="strongbad">A book-look!</line>
<line start="387" end="414" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">All right, let's see what we got in here.</line>
<line start="414" end="436"><!--<text>Longest Showerless Streak</text>--><strongbad voiceover="y">Sixty-five days?!</strongbad></line>
<line start="439" end="457" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">That's <em>way</em> outdated!</line>
<line start="460" end="510" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">I'm pretty sure he's surpassed that one by several fortnights at this point.</line>
<line start="515" end="540" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">Dirtiest Diape— Whoa!</line>
<line start="540" end="566" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y"><sfx>squishing noise</sfx>Coffee, eggs, bacon!</line>
<line start="568" end="577" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">Oh, too bad,</line>
<line start="580" end="620" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">I accidentally made breakfast all over whatever that record was for.</line>
<line start="625" end="655" speaker="strongbad">Clearly, this book is in serious need of an update.</line>
<line start="660" end="677" speaker="strongbad">Let's begin with the title.</line>
<line start="678" end="687" speaker="strongbad">How about:</line>
<line start="688" end="758" speaker="strongbad">Count Longardeaux's Book of Party Tricks, Redneck Jokes, and Worldly Records.</line>
<line start="759" end="814" speaker="strongbad">Now that sounds like a book worthy of every toilet-side magazine basket.</line>
<line start="816" end="846" speaker="strongbad">Now let's go see about updating some o' them records.</line>
<line start="846" end="856"><sfx>The Geddup Noise</sfx></line>
<line start="861" end="878" speaker="strongsad" sfx="y">humming</line>
<line start="878" end="890" speaker="strongbad">'Sup, double-bottom?</line>
<line start="894" end="905" speaker="strongbad">'How much you weigh?</line>
<line start="910" end="931" speaker="strongsad">What do you wanna know that for?</line>
<line start="933" end="976" speaker="strongbad">Count Longardeaux has me out gathering new records for his record book.</line>
<line start="978" end="1004" speaker="strongsad">Oh! Well then <em>this</em> should interest you!</line>
<line start="1005" end="1064" speaker="strongsad">I've transcribed <cite>Paradise Lost</cite> onto this single grain of basmati rice!</line>
<line start="1071" end="1091" speaker="strongsad">In four languages!</line>
<line start="1091" end="1131" speaker="strongbad">Oh, yeah! That <em>definitely</em> deserves a record!</line>
<line start="1133" end="1163"><!--<text>Biggest Waste of Dump: Strong "The Biggest Waste of Dump" Sad</text>--><sfx>buzzer noise</sfx></line>
<line start="1165" end="1209" speaker="strongbad">All right, King o' Town, I need some disgusting eating records.</line>
<line start="1210" end="1260" speaker="strongbad">Why don't you just, uh, have lunch, and I'm sure you'll set several without even trying.</line>
<line start="1263" end="1286" speaker="kingoftown">Ooh! I like eating lunch!</line>
<line start="1286" end="1321" speaker="kingoftown">Today I'm having a giant pile of salt!</line>
<line start="1326" end="1360" speaker="kingoftown">Vwoooooooooooooooooo-foop!</line>
<line start="1362" end="1377"><strongbad>Whoa! Nice woik!</strongbad><kingoftown sfx="y">hiccup</kingoftown></line>
<line start="1387" end="1407" speaker="kingoftown" sfx="y">hiccup, hiccup</line>
<line start="1407" end="1427"><strongbad>What, you got-a some hiccups?</strongbad><kingoftown sfx="y">hiccup</kingoftown></line>
<line start="1430" end="1471" speaker="kingoftown">Nope. Those, my friend, are heart attacks!</line>
<line start="1472" end="1483"><!--<text>Least Healthiest (Man?): The King of Town</text>--><sfx>buzzer noise</sfx></line>
<line start="1493" end="1500" speaker="kingoftown" sfx="y">hiccup</line>
<line start="1510" end="1575" speaker="homestar">What do you call a redneck, with no teeth, that watches stock car racing all day?</line>
<line start="1578" end="1593" speaker="homestar">Ba-ha-ha-haaa!</line>
<line start="1598" end="1636" speaker="homestar">Man, they do not wear shirts!</line>
<line start="1638" end="1700" speaker="strongbad">So, Coach Z, what kind of wonderment do you have in store for us?</line>
<line start="1702" end="1722" speaker="strongbad">That's not shower-related?</line>
<line start="1723" end="1842" speaker="coachz">Well, I'm gonna set the world record for puttin' nine pieces of chewed gum up on my face and singin' the "I'm Just Me" song and hoppin' around on one foot!</line>
<line start="1844" end="1886"><strongbad>Coach...</strongbad><coachz>I'm just me! Can't you see? </coachz></line>
<line start="1889" end="1928"><coachz>I'm just a silly little bumblebee!</coachz><sfx>hitting noises</sfx></line>
<line start="1929" end="1948" speaker="strongbad">Oh, please stop!</line>
<line start="1950" end="2007" speaker="strongbad">Look, you can't just make up some random crap that no one else will ever do and call that a "record."</line>
<line start="2009" end="2034" speaker="strongbad">Count Longardeaux would not stand for-</line>
<line start="2035" end="2135" speaker="homsar">I'm just me! Can't you see? I'm just a silly little bumblebee!</line>
<line start="2135" end="2196" speaker="homestar">What does a redneck man call a dead possum lyin' in the middle of the road?</line>
<line start="2198" end="2216" speaker="homestar">Ba-ha-ha-haa!</line>
<line start="2217" end="2236" speaker="homestar">Probably sushi.</line>
<line start="2236" end="2250"><sfx>audience groan</sfx></line>
<line start="2258" end="2285" speaker="strongbad">Well, I think we're just about done here.</line>
<line start="2285" end="2336" speaker="strongbad">Strong Mad set the record for Most Macaronis Nailed To A Paper Towel Tube...</line>
<line start="2340" end="2357" speaker="strongbad">By Strong Mad.</line>
<line start="2362" end="2391"><strongbad>Marzipan set the World Record for the pole vault.</strongbad><!--<text>Suprisingly, No Photo Available</text>--></line>
<line start="2397" end="2424" speaker="strongbad">And Bubs won Cutest Couple.</line>
<line start="2428" end="2449" speaker="strongbad">Oh, wait, I forgot about me.</line>
<line start="2454" end="2488" speaker="strongbad">I <em>gots</em> to get in this record book somehow.</line>
<line start="2494" end="2520" speaker="strongbad">I'll get the record for...</line>
<line start="2522" end="2538" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="2538" end="2589" speaker="strongbad">What?! "Most rectangular mouth?!" My mouth can be round!</line>
<line start="2589" end="2596" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="2597" end="2704" speaker="strongbad">What a bunch of bull  hOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOO—</line>
<line start="2705" end ="2720"><!--<text>Longest 'Bull Honkey', 13.4 Seconds: The Human Strong Bad</text>--><sfx>buzzer noise</sfx></line>
<line start="2730" end="2759" speaker="strongbad">—nkey. Bull honkey.</line>
<line start="2760" end="2781"><thepaper>Preeeeeow</thepaper></line>
</transcript>
</pre>
[[Category:English Subtitles]]



Latest revision as of 14:24, 14 July 2026

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail134.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="19" end="105" speaker="strongbad">Drape it over your aaaaaaarms, step out in styyyyyle, Strong Bad Emaaaaaaail...</line>
<line start="109" end="123" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad"</line>
<line start="127" end="148" speaker="strongbad">"I was wondering if you were in the record book."</line>
<line start="153" end="170" speaker="strongbad">"If so, what for?"</line>
<line start="171" end="188" speaker="strongbad">"Nathan, TX."</line>
<line start="192" end="219" speaker="strongbad">Ooh, the Nathan TX!</line>
<line start="220" end="281" speaker="strongbad">That has like, way four more cylinders than the standard Nathan.</line>
<line start="286" end="305" speaker="strongbad">Better Blue Book value, too.</line>
<line start="306" end="337" speaker="strongbad">I can't remember if I'm in the record book or not.</line>
<line start="337" end="356" speaker="strongbad">Seems like I should be.</line>
<line start="357" end="372" speaker="strongbad">Let's take a look.</line>
<line start="375" end="385" speaker="strongbad">A book-look!</line>
<line start="387" end="414" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">All right, let's see what we got in here.</line>
<line start="414" end="436"><!--<text>Longest Showerless Streak</text>--><strongbad voiceover="y">Sixty-five days?!</strongbad></line>
<line start="439" end="457" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">That's <em>way</em> outdated!</line>
<line start="460" end="510" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">I'm pretty sure he's surpassed that one by several fortnights at this point.</line>
<line start="515" end="540" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">Dirtiest Diape— Whoa!</line>
<line start="540" end="566" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y"><sfx>squishing noise</sfx>Coffee, eggs, bacon!</line>
<line start="568" end="577" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">Oh, too bad,</line>
<line start="580" end="620" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="y">I accidentally made breakfast all over whatever that record was for.</line>
<line start="625" end="655" speaker="strongbad">Clearly, this book is in serious need of an update.</line>
<line start="660" end="677" speaker="strongbad">Let's begin with the title.</line>
<line start="678" end="687" speaker="strongbad">How about:</line>
<line start="688" end="758" speaker="strongbad">Count Longardeaux's Book of Party Tricks, Redneck Jokes, and Worldly Records.</line>
<line start="759" end="814" speaker="strongbad">Now that sounds like a book worthy of every toilet-side magazine basket.</line>
<line start="816" end="846" speaker="strongbad">Now let's go see about updating some o' them records.</line>
<line start="846" end="856"><sfx>The Geddup Noise</sfx></line>
<line start="861" end="878" speaker="strongsad" sfx="y">humming</line>
<line start="878" end="890" speaker="strongbad">'Sup, double-bottom?</line>
<line start="894" end="905" speaker="strongbad">'How much you weigh?</line>
<line start="910" end="931" speaker="strongsad">What do you wanna know that for?</line>
<line start="933" end="976" speaker="strongbad">Count Longardeaux has me out gathering new records for his record book.</line>
<line start="978" end="1004" speaker="strongsad">Oh! Well then <em>this</em> should interest you!</line>
<line start="1005" end="1064" speaker="strongsad">I've transcribed <cite>Paradise Lost</cite> onto this single grain of basmati rice!</line>
<line start="1071" end="1091" speaker="strongsad">In four languages!</line>
<line start="1091" end="1131" speaker="strongbad">Oh, yeah! That <em>definitely</em> deserves a record!</line>
<line start="1133" end="1163"><!--<text>Biggest Waste of Dump: Strong "The Biggest Waste of Dump" Sad</text>--><sfx>buzzer noise</sfx></line>
<line start="1165" end="1209" speaker="strongbad">All right, King o' Town, I need some disgusting eating records.</line>
<line start="1210" end="1260" speaker="strongbad">Why don't you just, uh, have lunch, and I'm sure you'll set several without even trying.</line>
<line start="1263" end="1286" speaker="kingoftown">Ooh! I like eating lunch!</line>
<line start="1286" end="1321" speaker="kingoftown">Today I'm having a giant pile of salt!</line>
<line start="1326" end="1360" speaker="kingoftown">Vwoooooooooooooooooo-foop!</line>
<line start="1362" end="1377"><strongbad>Whoa! Nice woik!</strongbad><kingoftown sfx="y">hiccup</kingoftown></line>
<line start="1387" end="1407" speaker="kingoftown" sfx="y">hiccup, hiccup</line>
<line start="1407" end="1427"><strongbad>What, you got-a some hiccups?</strongbad><kingoftown sfx="y">hiccup</kingoftown></line>
<line start="1430" end="1471" speaker="kingoftown">Nope. Those, my friend, are heart attacks!</line>
<line start="1472" end="1483"><!--<text>Least Healthiest (Man?): The King of Town</text>--><sfx>buzzer noise</sfx></line>
<line start="1493" end="1500" speaker="kingoftown" sfx="y">hiccup</line>
<line start="1510" end="1575" speaker="homestar">What do you call a redneck, with no teeth, that watches stock car racing all day?</line>
<line start="1578" end="1593" speaker="homestar">Ba-ha-ha-haaa!</line>
<line start="1598" end="1636" speaker="homestar">Man, they do not wear shirts!</line>
<line start="1638" end="1700" speaker="strongbad">So, Coach Z, what kind of wonderment do you have in store for us?</line>
<line start="1702" end="1722" speaker="strongbad">That's not shower-related?</line>
<line start="1723" end="1842" speaker="coachz">Well, I'm gonna set the world record for puttin' nine pieces of chewed gum up on my face and singin' the "I'm Just Me" song and hoppin' around on one foot!</line>
<line start="1844" end="1886"><strongbad>Coach...</strongbad><coachz>I'm just me! Can't you see? </coachz></line>
<line start="1889" end="1928"><coachz>I'm just a silly little bumblebee!</coachz><sfx>hitting noises</sfx></line>
<line start="1929" end="1948" speaker="strongbad">Oh, please stop!</line>
<line start="1950" end="2007" speaker="strongbad">Look, you can't just make up some random crap that no one else will ever do and call that a "record."</line>
<line start="2009" end="2034" speaker="strongbad">Count Longardeaux would not stand for-</line>
<line start="2035" end="2135" speaker="homsar">I'm just me! Can't you see? I'm just a silly little bumblebee!</line>
<line start="2135" end="2196" speaker="homestar">What does a redneck man call a dead possum lyin' in the middle of the road?</line>
<line start="2198" end="2216" speaker="homestar">Ba-ha-ha-haa!</line>
<line start="2217" end="2236" speaker="homestar">Probably sushi.</line>
<line start="2236" end="2250"><sfx>audience groan</sfx></line>
<line start="2258" end="2285" speaker="strongbad">Well, I think we're just about done here.</line>
<line start="2285" end="2336" speaker="strongbad">Strong Mad set the record for Most Macaronis Nailed To A Paper Towel Tube...</line>
<line start="2340" end="2357" speaker="strongbad">By Strong Mad.</line>
<line start="2362" end="2391"><strongbad>Marzipan set the World Record for the pole vault.</strongbad><!--<text>Suprisingly, No Photo Available</text>--></line>
<line start="2397" end="2424" speaker="strongbad">And Bubs won Cutest Couple.</line>
<line start="2428" end="2449" speaker="strongbad">Oh, wait, I forgot about me.</line>
<line start="2454" end="2488" speaker="strongbad">I <em>gots</em> to get in this record book somehow.</line>
<line start="2494" end="2520" speaker="strongbad">I'll get the record for...</line>
<line start="2522" end="2538" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="2538" end="2589" speaker="strongbad">What?! "Most rectangular mouth?!" My mouth can be round!</line>
<line start="2589" end="2596" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="2597" end="2704" speaker="strongbad">What a bunch of bull  hOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOO—</line>
<line start="2705" end ="2720"><!--<text>Longest 'Bull Honkey', 13.4 Seconds: The Human Strong Bad</text>--><sfx>buzzer noise</sfx></line>
<line start="2730" end="2759" speaker="strongbad">—nkey. Bull honkey.</line>
<line start="2760" end="2781"><thepaper>Preeeeeow</thepaper></line>
</transcript>