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''This article is about the [[Strong Bad Email]].'' ''For the theorem, see [[Bogus Mathematical Theorems]].''

{| class="wikitable" style="width:100%;"
|-
| '''[[Strong Bad Email]] #39'''
| [https://homestarrunner.com/sbemails/39-property-of-ones watch] · [[helium|← helium]] · [[vacation|vacation →]]
|}

https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/0/00/sbemail39.PNG/180px-sbemail39.PNG

''A needlepoint moral''

Strong Bad talks about [[Cold One|Cold Ones]], with a few tweaks at standard algebra.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' [[Strong Bad]]

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]]

'''Computer:''' [[Tandy 400]]

'''Date:''' Monday, August 5, 2002

'''Running Time:''' 1:19

'''Page Title:''' Tandy 400: Still Bloke.

'''DVD:'''[[strongbad email.exe Disc One]]

'''SBEmail Menu Description:''' Strong Bad makes up some bogus mathematic equations about cold ones.

== Transcript ==

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Gimme some of this and gimme some of thiiiiis... Gimme some of this. ''{stops singing}''

<blockquote>
>Hey Strong Bad, 
> 
>How's it hanging? Last weekend I almost drank a one 
>that was not cold. Has this ever happened to you? 
> 
>Dan Waters 
>Dallas, TX
</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad pronounces TX as "Tejas"}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{clears screen, typing}'' Aw, Dan, you dodged a bullet, man. Because lemme tell you... a One that is not cold, is scarcely a One at all. Allow me to demonstrate with one of my bogus mathematical theorems. ''{stops typing}'' I call it ''{resumes typing}'' "The Property of Ones". ''{stops typing}'' It goes like this: ''{resumes typing}'' The ONEitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the ONE. So you got that, Dan? The colder it is, the more of a one it is. Because you don't want to end up with a Cold None. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But now in foreign lands, they've been known to drink ''{stops typing}'' Not So Cold Ones ''{a bottle of "Not So Cold One" appears}'', Room Temperature Ones ''{a bottle of "Room Temp-A-Ture One" appears}'', and even Warm Ones ''{a bottle of "Wärm Öne" appears}''. Whoa! ''{clears screen, resumes typing}'' But where I come from, it's ''CUH-HOLD ONES''. Though I have to admit, on certain evenings in late spring, a Cool One can be very refreshing. ''{stops typing}'' Ooh... That's a good One.

''{A needlepoint picture of three "Cold One" bottles with the caption "A One That Isn't Cold, Is Scarcely A One At All" appears on the screen. [[The Paper]] comes down.}''

== Fun Facts ==

=== Trivia ===

* This is the last email that has no Easter eggs until email #133, "[[bottom 10]]".
* The bottle of Not So Cold One states that they are served at "90 degrees or higher". This would make them far warmer than Room Temp-a-ture Ones, room temperature being somewhere in the low to mid 70s, but cooler than Warm Ones, which come "straight from the oven".
* The [[YouTube]] description for this email is: "Strong Bad makes up some bogus mathematic equations about cold ones."

=== Remarks ===

* The needlepoint saying is improperly punctuated; it shouldn't have a comma between "cold" and "is".
* The back button has been written in needlepoint, but it is on the frame of the picture.
* Ironically, beer loses its flavor at colder temperatures.
* When Strong Bad types "the less of a one it is", he doesn't capitalize the word "one".

=== Inside References ===

* Strong Bad refers to the Property of Ones as "one of [his] [[Bogus Mathematical Theorems|bogus mathematical theorems]]" — the first was the Transitive Butt Property in [[butt IQ]].

=== Real-World References ===

* The page title, "Still bloke", may be a reference to the Japanese language pronouncing "l" and "r" the same. When switched, it's "broke", which actually fits contextually.
** It is possible that this is a double reference, since the "foreign land" where they drink Wärm Önes would be assumed to be England or the British Isles, where a "bloke" is a casual reference to a male, generally equivalent to the vernacular "guy".

=== Fast Forward ===

* [[The Brothers Chaps]] later created a [[Needlepernt|needlepoint]] animation using the same corkboard and wall background seen at the end of this toon.

== External Links ==

* [https://homestarrunner.com/sbemails/39-property-of-ones watch "property of ones"]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqFNLidNxis watch "property of ones"] on [[YouTube]]
* [https://old.homestarrunner.com/sbemail39.html watch "property of ones"] on the old [[Flash]] site
* [https://old.homestarrunner.com/sbemail39.swf view the Flash file for "property of ones"]

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! colspan="2" style="text-align:center;background-color:#CCF;" | [[Strong Bad Email]]
|-
! style="width:8%;background:#DDF" | '''Info'''
| [[Strong Bad Email By Title|Email Titles]] · [[Strong Bad Email By Name of Sender|Sender's Name]] · [[Strong Bad Email By Place|Sender's Location]] · [[Strong Bad Email By Length|Email Lengths]] · [[Strong Bad Email By Greeting|Email Greetings]] · [[Strong Bad Email By Closing|Email Closings]] · [[Strong Bad Email Release Dates|Email Release Dates]] · [[Strong Bad Email Intros|Email Intros]] · [[Strong Bad Email Outros|Email Outros]] · [[Strong Bad Email Page Titles|Page Titles]] · [[Strong Bad Email Statistics|Statistics]] · [[Strong Bad Email Menu|Menu]] · [[Scroll Button Songs]] · [[Items|Computers]] · [[Floppy Disk Container]] · [[Strong Bad Email Sender's Subject|Subjects]] · [[Strong Bad Email Spin-offs|Spin-offs]] · [[Irregular Back Links]] · [[Poorly Written Emails]] · [[Emails That Meet Strong Bad's Approval]] · [[Emails Taken in a Different Direction]]
|-
! style="background:#DDF" | '''[[Tandy 400]]'''
| [[some kinda robot]] · [[homsar]] · [[butt IQ]] · [[homestar hair]] · [[making out]] · [[depressio]] · [[halloweener]] · [[brianrietta]] · [[i love you]] · [[trevor the vampire]] · [[i rule]] · [[credit card]] · [[i she be]] · [[duck pond]] · [[the basics]] · [[band names]] · [[studying]] · [[stand-up]] · [[tape-leg]] · [[spring cleaning]] · [[cartoon]] · [[sb email 22]] · [[little animal]] · [[the bird]] · [[super powers]] · [[CGNU]] · [[3 wishes]] · [[1 step ahead]] · [[superhero name]] · [[12:00]] · [[sugarbob]] · [[flag day]] · [[gimmicks]] · [[weird dream]] · [[sisters]] · [[guitar]] · [[dullard]] · [[helium]] · '''property of ones''' · [[vacation]]
|-
! style="background:#DDF" | '''[[Compy 386]]'''
| [[invisibility]] · [[action figure]] · [[little questions]] · [[lures & jigs]] · [[techno]] · [[your friends]] · [[new hands]] · [[ghosts]] · [[theme party]] · [[50 emails]] · [[website]] · [[island]] · [[comic]] · [[morning routine]] · [[cheat talk]] · [[current status]] · [[japanese cartoon]] · [[dragon]] · [[marzipan]] · [[huttah!]] · [[monster truck]] · [[interview]] · [[fingers]] · [[english paper]] · [[unused emails]] · [[the show]] · [[autobiography]] · [[caper]] · [[personal favorites]] · [[big white face]] · [[2 emails]] · [[crazy cartoon]] · [[mascot]] · [[privileges]] · [[funny]] · [[sibbie]] · [[suntan]] · [[anything]] · [[the process]] · [[stunt double]] · [[date]] · [[impression]] · [[labor day]] · [[kids' book]] · [[2 years]] · [[no loafing]] · [[mile]] · [[couch patch]] · [[local news]] · [[colonization]] · [[caffeine]] · [[kind of cool]] · [[army]] · [[video games]] · [[the bet]] · [[lackey]] · [[monument]] · [[stupid stuff]] · [[different town]] · [[flashback]] · [[car]] · [[lunch special]] · [[haircut]] · [[theme park]] · [[replacement]] · [[dangeresque 3]] · [[cheatday]] · [[pom pom]] · [[crying]] · [[for kids]] · [[other days]] · [[old comics]] · [[pizzaz]] · [[the facts]] · [[time capsule]] · [[extra plug]] · [[montage]] · [[virus]]
|-
! style="background:#DDF" | '''[[Lappy 486]]'''
| [[animal]] · [[radio]] · [[part-time job]] · [[dreamail]] · [[origins]] · [[secret recipes]] · [[rock opera]] · [[best thing]] · [[long pants]] · [[rampage]] · [[garage sale]] · [[do over]] · [[boring (really)]] · [[modeling]] · [[bottom 10]] · [[record book]] · [[lady...ing]] · [[geddup noise]] · [[bedtime story]] · [[space program]] · [[portrait]] · [[high school]] · [[death metal]] · [[secret identity]] · [[technology]] · [[narrator]] · [[myths & legends]] · [[pop-up]] · [[lady fan]] · [[disconnected]] · [[candy product]] · [[alternate universe]] · [[senior prom]] · [[isp]] · [[redesign]] · [[keep cool]] · [[theme song]] · [[road trip]] · [[trading cards]] · [[cliffhangers]] · [[retirement]] · [[coloring]] · [[4 branches]] · [[the chair]] · [[what i want]] · [[looking old]] · [[strong badathlon]] · [[unnatural]] · [[the movies]] · [[your funeral]] · [[from work]] · [[rough copy]] · [[underlings]] · [[more armies]] · [[the paper]] · [[mini-golf]] · [[concert]] · [[hygiene]] · [[original]] · [[bike thief]] · [[pizza joint]] · [[slumber party]] · [[web comics]] · [[business trip]] · [[yes, wrestling]] · [[diorama]] · [[nightlife]] · [[environment]] · [[winter pool]] · [[fan club]] · [[pet show]] · [[licensed]] · [[buried]] · [[shapeshifter]] · [[rated]] · [[specially marked]] · [[love poems]] · [[hiding]] · [[your edge]] · [[magic trick]] · [[being mean]] · [[email thunder]] · [[hremail 3184]]
|-
! style="background:#DDF" | '''[[Corpy NT6]]'''
| [[imaginary]]
|-
! style="background:#DDF" | '''[[Compé]]'''
| [[independent]] · [[dictionary]] · [[videography]]
|-
! style="background:#DDF" | '''[[Lappier]]'''
| [[sbemail 206]] · [[too cool]] · [[the next april fools thing]] · [[parenting]] · [[robots]]
|-
! style="background:#DDF" | '''[[strongbad email.exe|Bonus]]'''
| [[Greeting Cards]] · [[E-mail Birds]] · [[Videro Games]] · [[Family Resemblence]] · [[Real-Live E-Mails]] · [[Accent]] · [[Comic Book Movie]]
|}
[[Category:Strong Bad Filmography]]
[[Category:strongbad email.exe Disc One]]
[[Category:Tandy 400 Emails]]

property of ones - Revision history

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