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'''[[HRWiki:Subtitles|HRWikiSubtitlesProject]]'''

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| '''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[Doomy Tales of the Macabre]].''' [https://homestarrunner.com/ween09.html watch this toon]
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To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome. 
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'''en''' [[Subtitles:ween09/de|de]] [[Subtitles:ween09/he|he]] [[Subtitles:ween09/es|es]] [[Subtitles:ween09/fr|fr]] [[Subtitles:ween09/nl|nl]] [[Subtitles:ween09/fi|fi]] [[Subtitles:ween09/pl|pl]] [[Subtitles:ween09/pt-br|pt-br]] [[Subtitles:ween09/tr|tr]]

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<pre><?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="ween09.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="21" end="22" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="22" end="23" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="23" end="25" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="25" end="26" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="26" end="27" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="27" end="28" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="28" end="29" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="30" end="32" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="32" end="34" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="34" end="35" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="35" end="36" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="36" end="37" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="37" end="38" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="38" end="40" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="40" end="41" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="41" end="42" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="42" end="44" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="44" end="45" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="45" end="46" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="46" end="47" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="47" end="48" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="48" end="50" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
<line start="50" end="86" speaker="strongsad">and sat right down to writing.</line>
<line start="86" end="124" speaker="strongsad">For none had bothered to propose,</line>
<line start="124" end="136" speaker="strongsad">to their parties, my inviting.</line>
<line start="136" end="143">
<strongsad>to their parties, my inviting.</strongsad>
<sfx>smack</sfx>
</line>
<line start="143" end="152" speaker="strongsad">to their parties, my inviting.</line>
<line start="156" end="197" speaker="strongsad">So I crafted such a macabre tale</line>
<line start="197" end="229" speaker="strongsad">there in my darkened room</line>
<line start="229" end="258" speaker="strongsad">To achieve literary justice,</line>
<line start="258" end="280" speaker="strongsad">and send each to their DOOOOM!</line>
<line start="280" end="300" speaker="strongsad">and send each to their DOOOOM!</line>
<line start="433" end="470" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">We start with the most expendable.</line>
<line start="470" end="498" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Grrrreetings, King of Town!</line>
<line start="498" end="512" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">For this glutton, a stew of mutton</line>
<line start="512" end="531" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">For this glutton, a stew of mutton</line>
<line start="531" end="560" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">in which to slowly drown!</line>
<line start="560" end="595" speaker="kingoftown">I thought these were tales of the McArby!</line>
<line start="595" end="660" speaker="kingoftown">the mythical fast-food crossover sandwich of legend!</line>
<line start="679" end="720" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">What's this? The fair maid Marzipan</line>
<line start="720" end="756" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">considering a brand new man?</line>
<line start="756" end="790" speaker="homestar">Marzipan! Have you seen my toenail clippings?</line>
<line start="790" end="817" speaker="homestar">I left them right on top of your toothbrush.</line>
<line start="820" end="851" speaker="marzipan">Crystal, crystal, on the ball,</line>
<line start="851" end="873" speaker="marzipan">I need a better boyfriend, y'all! </line>
<line start="873" end="910" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">But the gypsy forces she invoked</line>
<line start="910" end="943" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">decided they would play a joke!</line>
<line start="946" end="972" speaker="homestar">AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAARRAOOOOOORR!</line>
<line start="972" end="997" speaker="coachz">AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAARRAOOOOOORR!</line>
<line start="1000" end="1095" speaker="coachz">Hey there, my little love jorb! These bunions, corns, and calluses aren't gonna pumice themselves! </line>
<line start="1096" end="1115" speaker="marzipan">Nuuuuuuu... Oh, wait, what's that say? </line>
<line start="1116" end="1131" speaker="marzipan">Nuuuuuuu... Oh, wait, what's that say?</line>
<line start="1136" end="1158" speaker="marzipan">Nooooooooo!</line>
<line start="1160" end="1187" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">And now we join a man obs—</line>
<line start="1188" end="1211" speaker="coachz">Hey, what abrat my doom?</line>
<line start="1212" end="1274" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Um, you're already Coach Z. No sense in beating a dead horse.</line>
<line start="1277" end="1289" speaker="coachz">Hey, good point!</line>
<line start="1306" end="1371" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">And now we join a man obsessed with sales and liquidation,</line>
<line start="1372" end="1434" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">dabbling with fiendish tests and genetic experimentation.</line>
<line start="1436" end="1471" speaker="bubs">I'll just take this piece of brain from my wig...</line>
<line start="1481" end="1538" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">But you all know how these things go, with unnatural creations.</line>
<line start="1542" end="1555">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! A greenish glow! Voila! Horrible abomination!</strongsad>
<sfx>poof</sfx>
</line>
<line start="1556" end="1571">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! A greenish glow! Voila! Horrible abomination!</strongsad>
<sfx>strange pulsating noise</sfx>
</line>
<line start="1572" end="1581">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! A greenish glow! Voila! Horrible abomination!</strongsad>
</line>
<line start="1582" end="1609">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! A greenish glow! Voila! Horrible abomination!</strongsad>
<sfx>boom</sfx>
</line>
<line start="1610" end="1614">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! A greenish glow! Voila! Horrible abomination!</strongsad>
<sfx>roar</sfx>
</line>
<line start="1615" end="1626"><other>buffer</other><sfx>roar</sfx></line>
<line start="1627" end="1639">
<bubs>Aw, this was supposed to reduce my overhead! Not turn into my head!</bubs>
<sfx>roar</sfx>
</line>
<line start="1640" end="1685">
<bubs>Aw, this was supposed to reduce my overhead! Not turn into my head!</bubs>
</line>
<line start="1706" end="1749" speaker="onionbubs">Welcome to my world! Ehhhhh-heheheheheheeeeeeeh!</line>
<line start="1773" end="1844" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">These two no-talkers need to go! Let's eliminate a Poopsmith O!</line>
<line start="1873" end="1883" speaker="sfx">Pumping noises</line>
<line start="1884" end="1892" speaker="sfx">Bam</line>
<line start="1906" end="1991" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, uh, and Pom Pom was filled with a deadly gas... that killed the Popsmith... really... fast.</line>
<line start="2016" end="2069" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Crushed once by a Heavy Lourde in sbemail number two.</line>
<line start="2070" end="2132" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">To keep this little weirdo dead, only a heavy gourd will do!</line>
<line start="2133" end="2193" speaker="homsar">My punjab has a pretty price-tag!</line>
<line start="2240" end="2335" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar Runner, fast, like the whind, but how fast can he run when his knees can't bend?</line>
<line start="2336" end="2401" speaker="homestar">Oooh! Hey, this ain't so bad! Gives me the good thoughts, you know.</line>
<line start="2405" end="2483" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Well, I'll revise, then, if you please. What if each leg had several knees?</line>
<line start="2496" end="2541" speaker="homestar">Hey, great! It's like I'm wadin' through puddin' with every step!</line>
<line start="2542" end="2588" speaker="homestar">And everyone knows how much the Homestar Runner loves wadin' through puddin'.</line>
<line start="2591" end="2648" speaker="homestar">Strong Sad, these doomy tales of macrame aren't very scary.</line>
<line start="2649" end="2672" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, there's an idea!</line>
<line start="2673" end="2752" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">A crafty fad, once loved by all. I'll hang you on a 70's basement wall!</line>
<line start="2755" end="2817" speaker="homestar">Oh no! Macrame! My worst nightmare!</line>
<line start="2818" end="2882" speaker="marzipan">But Macrame Owl Homestar, I give you a macrame dream catcher for Decemberween every year.</line>
<line start="2884" end="2913" speaker="homestar">My point exactlyyyyyyy!</line>
<line start="2935" end="2980" speaker="coachz">Get back upstairs and cook my seventies dinner, woman!</line>
<line start="2981" end="3016" speaker="coachz">And put on a pantsuit, fer cryin' out loud!</line>
<line start="3018" end="3079" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Halloween is very handy, for those with appetites for candy.</line>
<line start="3080" end="3115" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Except for greedy trick-or-treaters...</line>
<line start="3116" end="3157" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Like Strong Mad and The Cheat... er...</line>
<line start="3158" end="3173" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Like Strong Mad and The Cheat... er...</line>
<line start="3174" end="3209" speaker="strongmad">CHECK OUT MY NEW TREAT BAG!</line>
<line start="3210" end="3226" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="3228" end="3301" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">All night long, they gathered sweets, and tossed upon the growing heap!</line>
<line start="3302" end="3374" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">When finally struck the midnight hour, 'twas not just candy he devoured!</line>
<line start="3375" end="3457" speaker="strongmad">Phoo! Gah! THE CHEAT? NOOOOOO!!!</line>
<line start="3458" end="3536" speaker="strongbad">That's not macabre! Strong Mad eats The Cheat like four times a day! How do you think we give him baths?</line>
<line start="3537" end="3602" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, fine! Well, I saved the most macabre for last!</line>
<line start="3603" end="3647" speaker="strongbad">I'd like to see you get macabré on mé!</line>
<line start="3648" end="3716" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Strong Bad, as he always does, checks emails from his fans,</line>
<line start="3717" end="3749" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">what if, instead of boxing gloves,</line>
<line start="3750" end="3784" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">a pair of human hands?!</line>
<line start="3789" end="3873" speaker="strongbad">Aaahhh! I'm hideous! How will I ever type with these waggly knuckled monstrosities?!</line>
<line start="3902" end="3964" speaker="strongsad">Now all have met their grisly fate, such horrors for you to see.</line>
<line start="3965" end="4027" speaker="strongsad">Perchance next time they'll all think twice before not inviting me!</line>
<line start="4038" end="4075" speaker="all">Happy Halloween, Strong Sad!</line>
<line start="4076" end="4140" speaker="strongsad">A surprise party? Just for me?! Oh, you guys shouldn't have!</line>
<line start="4141" end="4171" speaker="strongsad">You all really do care!</line>
<line start="4183" end="4192" speaker="sfx">bam</line>
<line start="4197" end="4257" speaker="strongsad">Oh. Heh, heh, you weren't really supposed to see that, uh...</line>
<line start="4258" end="4286" speaker="strongsad">Let's just flick the light back off, shall we?</line>



<line start="4454" end="4482" speaker="bubs">Hey, Coach Z, you seen my wallet?</line>
<line start="4484" end="4506" speaker="coachz">Well, what does it look like?</line>
<line start="4508" end="4549" speaker="bubs">It's the one that says "Bad business practices".</line>
<line start="4559" end="4700" speaker="coachz">Say, Marzipan, peep this: "You take two steps frorward and I'll take two steps back." Huh? No? I'm a cold-hearted snake? Rush rush? The Laker girls?</line>
<line start="4705" end="4753" speaker="homestar">All right, I'm just gonna save everybody some time and burn through these.</line>
<line start="4754" end="4787" speaker="homestar">Pom Pom? Underwater orange juice man? Classic.</line>
<line start="4788" end="4840" speaker="homestar">Strong Bad? Scarecrow and Mrs. King? I would've preferred Jake and the Fat Man, but nice work.</line>
<line start="4841" end="4882" speaker="homestar">The Cheat as the thorax? Love it. Favorite part of the insect.</line>
<line start="4883" end="4929" speaker="homestar">Coach Z? Not sure if I wanna know the answer to this, but did you steal Mickey Mouse's pants?</line>
<line start="4930" end="4967" speaker="homestar">Marzipan, off-duty Ronald McDonald? It is what it is.</line>
<line start="4968" end="5007" speaker="homestar">And finally, Homestar, you seem to be distraught.</line>
<line start="5012" end="5066" speaker="homestar">People try and make me sound a lot... weird, y'know, and I'm strong!</line>
<line start="5067" end="5091" speaker="homestar">And I can... kick...</line>
<line start="5107" end="5161" speaker="strongbad">The King of Town ate the colonel's mustard, and the rope, and the parlor.</line>
<line start="5165" end="5203" speaker="kingoftown">I admit to only two thirds of that statement!</line>
<line start="5214" end="5263" speaker="strongbad">Run, Marzipan, Run—off of a cliff, preferably.</line>
<line start="5266" end="5295" speaker="marzipan">(gasps) You Kinder Überraschung!</line>
<line start="5308" end="5386" speaker="homestar">(Sings Saria's song from The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time slightly off-key)</line>
<line start="5396" end="5488" speaker="strongbad">Oh, the evil moon is crashing into the Earth again! What a totally un-frustrating way to play a video game!</line>
<line start="5499" end="5521" speaker="strongmad">MOVE-A MOVE-A!</line>
</transcript></pre>
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Subtitles ween09/en - Revision history

imported>HRWikiMirrorBot: Reimported from hrwiki.org Wayback HTML→wikitext (full reconvert)

imported>HRWikiMirrorBot: Imported from hrwiki.org via Wayback Machine (HTML→wikitext)