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'''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[2 emails]].''' [https://homestarrunner.com/sbemail71.html watch this toon]
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/sbemail71/en local viewer].
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'''en'''
[[Subtitles:sbemail71/de|de]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail71/he|he]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail71/es|es]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail71/fr|fr]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail71/nl|nl]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail71/fi|fi]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail71/pl|pl]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail71/pt-br|pt-br]]
[[Subtitles:sbemail71/tr|tr]]

<pre>
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail71.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="15" end="65" speaker="strongbad">What do you get when you email Strong Bad? You get a world of hurt.</line>
<line start="69" end="108" speaker="strongbad">"Hey Strong Bad, I think that you should do more e-mails every week."</line>
<line start="111" end="156" speaker="strongbad">"Like two. Then we could have double the Strong Bad, and double the fun."</line>
<line start="158" end="181" speaker="strongbad">Ooh! That's like Strong Bad gum!</line>
<line start="187" end="201" speaker="strongbad">"Jimmy, Minini"</line>
<line start="207" end="270" speaker="strongbad">Okay little Jimmy. I'll do two emails this week.</line>
<line start="270" end="281" speaker="strongbad">Number two.</line>
<line start="286" end="385" speaker="strongbad">"Hey Strong Bad, If you could time travel, what period in time would you travel to? Dave Nienaber, Antioccch, Ill-annoy-us"</line>
<line start="390" end="436" speaker="strongbad">Well Naber, I'd definitely travel ahead about 15 minutes</line>
<line start="437" end="492" speaker="strongbad">to when all the ladies show up for my "2003 Ladies' Choice Awards."</line>
<line start="512" end="594" speaker="strongbad">About 70 or 50 fine women will be showing up to vote on which one gets to dance with yours truly.</line>
<line start="604" end="657" speaker="strongbad">But since I don't have a time machine, I'll just have to wait it out.</line>
<line start="801" end="836" speaker="strongbad">I don't get it! Where could the ladies be?</line>
<line start="842" end="863" speaker="bubs">You said there'd be the ladies!</line>
<line start="864" end="922" speaker="strongbad">I know! I know! Maybe their bus flew off a bottomless cliff...</line>
<line start="928" end="961" speaker="strongbad">and into, like... a bottomless pit.</line>
<line start="966" end="1001" speaker="strongbad">Strong Sad, did anybody call and say they weren't coming?</line>
<line start="1003" end="1010" speaker="strongsad">Oh yeah I forgot—</line>
<line start="1011" end="1036" speaker="strongbad">Or mention anything about a bottomless pit?</line>
<line start="1037" end="1083" speaker="strongsad">Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. About a million ladies called</line>
<line start="1084" end="1125" speaker="strongsad">while you were checking your email and said they'd be a few minutes late.</line>
<line start="1131" end="1161" speaker="strongbad">Oh, good! So their bus is okay.</line>
<line start="1167" end="1233" speaker="strongsad">No, I'm just kidding! But Homsar called and said he was a million ladies tall.</line>
<line start="1240" end="1281" speaker="strongbad">What?! Oh, this has gone from bad to worse!</line>
<line start="1288" end="1337" speaker="coachz">Hey, guys, check it out! I'm hot girl number 37!</line>
<line start="1342" end="1395" speaker="strongbad">Oh, Coach, don't do it! This is depressing enough as it is.</line>
<line start="1396" end="1442" speaker="coachz">No, lookit me! I'm shakin' it to the left and to the right!</line>
<line start="1443" end="1500">
<strongbad>Auuuuuuuuuuugh!</strongbad>
<coachz>Doo doo duh DOO doo doo doo duh doo doo!</coachz>
</line>
<line start="1506" end="1534" speaker="strongmad">I WANT ACTION!</line>
<line start="1558" end="1639" speaker="strongbad">I'm sorry you had to see that. I shoulda played it safe and gone back in time to where I know I'm awesome.</line>
<line start="1645" end="1706" speaker="strongbad">But, since I don't have a time machine I guess I'll just have to wait it out.</line>
<line start="1706" end="1739" speaker="strongbad">Umm... Backwards.</line>
<line start="1756" end="1770" speaker="thepaper">Preeeeow!</line>

<line start="1797" end="1866" speaker="oldstrongbad">I'm no apothecary, but before you trek long and wide on the Muskeegee trail,</line>
<line start="1869" end="1929" speaker="oldstrongbad">don't forget to try Uncle Strong Bad's Flavor Taste Style Chewing Powders!</line>
<line start="1937" end="1972" speaker="oldstrongbad">Nothing else increases brain juice quite like it!</line>
<line start="1979" end="2060" speaker="oldstrongbad">Once again, that's Strong Bad's Flavor Taste Style Chewing Powders. Whisk away the worries!</line>
<line start="2073" end="2133" speaker="oldstrongbad">How was that phraseology, The Sneak? Are your worries adequately whisked? </line>
<line start="2148" end="2206" speaker="oldstrongbad">Smashing! No, I mean... start smashing!</line>
<line start="2210" end="2216" speaker="sfx">smashing noises</line>
<line start="2217" end="2260" speaker="oldstrongbad">Yes! It's curtains for you, Ming vase!</line>
<line start="2263" end="2286" speaker="oldstrongbad">Uncle Strong Bad makes good!</line>
<line start="2288" end="2317" speaker="oldstrongbad">Strong Bad Powdertory, Saint Louis Mo!</line>
</transcript>
</pre>
[[Category:English Subtitles]]

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