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'''These are the [[English language|English]] subtitles for [[Pistols for Pandas|Pistols For Pandas]].''' [https://homestarrunner.com/pistols4pandas.html watch this toon]<br />
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the '''[[User:Phlip/Greasemonkey|All-In-One Greasemonkey script]]''' for Firefox or the '''[https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/homestar-all-in-one/ekecfcebbojjfaiendgjgcadampmppdb Homestar All-In-One extension]''' for Chrome.<br />It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on [https://homestarrunner.com/ homestarrunner.com] and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our [http://subtitles.hrwiki.org/pistols4pandas/en local viewer].<br />
|}<br />
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'''en''' <br />
[[Subtitles:pistols4pandas/de|de]] <br />
[[Subtitles:pistols4pandas/he|he]] <br />
[[Subtitles:pistols4pandas/es|es]] <br />
[[Subtitles:pistols4pandas/fr|fr]] <br />
[[Subtitles:pistols4pandas/nl|nl]] <br />
[[Subtitles:pistols4pandas/fi|fi]] <br />
[[Subtitles:pistols4pandas/pl|pl]] <br />
[[Subtitles:pistols4pandas/pt-br|pt-br]] <br />
[[Subtitles:pistols4pandas/tr|tr]]<br />
<br />
<pre><br />
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?><br />
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="earthday.swf" width="550" height="400"><br />
<br />
<line start="24" end="56" speaker="crack">Blah-hi, kids, BLAH'm Crack Stuntman.</line><br />
<line start="57" end="98" speaker="crack">I used to do the voice of Cheat Commander on the cartoon man show</line><br />
<line start="99" end="146" speaker="crack">until contractual mumbo-jumbo <em>(begins speaking quickly)</em> <em>screwed me out of the sweetest gig I ever had—</em></line><br />
<line start="147" end="157" speaker="crack"><em>(pleading)</em> Please take me back!</line><br />
<line start="158" end="160" sfx="sfx">Beep</line><br />
<line start="161" end="212" speaker="crack"><em>(normal again)</em> But I'm also the voice of a much more important non-profit organization called—</line><br />
<line start="213" end="240" speaker="crack" volume="1.4"><em>Non-profit?! What the bluh-what?!</em></line><br />
<line start="242" end="268" speaker="crack">But <em>I'm</em> still get paid, right?</line><br />
<line start="269" end="271" sfx="sfx">Beep</line><br />
<line start="272" end="327" speaker="crack">But I'm also the voice of a non-profit organization called Pistols for Pandas,</line><br />
<line start="328" end="363" speaker="crack">that I hold very near and dear to my new sunglasses.</line><br />
<line start="364" end="379"><br />
<crack>that I hold very near and dear to my new sunglasses.</crack><br />
<sfx>Sparkling</sfx><br />
</line><br />
<line start="380" end="443" speaker="crack">In light of the recent made-up holiday designed to make your parents feel guilty about their car,</line><br />
<line start="444" end="490" speaker="crack">I thought I'd tell you just how P-for-P gets small firearms</line><br />
<line start="491" end="550" speaker="crack">into the paws of our planet's most adorable, and most unarmed, creatures.</line><br />
<line start="551" end="584" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">For every dollar you give to Pistols for Pandas,</line><br />
<line start="585" end="611"><crack voiceover="yes">we laugh at, 'cause, like, what good's a dollar gonna do?</crack><sfx volume="0.8">crowd laughing</sfx></line><br />
<line start="612" end="634" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">we laugh at, 'cause, like, what good's a dollar gonna do?</line><br />
<line start="635" end="663" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">But for every <em>five</em> dollars you give,</line><br />
<line start="664" end="715" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">we buy one box of cereal with the best prize in it.</line><br />
<line start="716" end="772" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">I eat said cereal, play with the prize, and save the box top.</line><br />
<line start="773" end="838" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">Once we have enough box tops, I dress up like a fifth grader and take them to a local school.</line><br />
<line start="839" end="933" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">That buys the school a computer, which I sneak out with after charming the horn-rimmed<br /> glasses off the media center lady.</line><br />
<line start="934" end="1002" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">I take these computers to a local pawn shop, and exchange them for the weapons pandas need.</line><br />
<line start="1003" end="1088" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">And finally, when nobody's looking, I dump these pistols into the panda habitat down at the local zoo.</line><br />
<line start="1089" end="1173" speaker="crack">Did you hear that? I used the word "local" like three times.<br /> That means this good cause is even upittier than most!</line><br />
<line start="1174" end="1179" speaker="sfx">buzzer</line><br />
<line start="1180" end="1191" speaker="sfx">ding, dong, splat</line><br />
<line start="1202" end="1249" speaker="crack">We're destroying these poor creatures faster than ever before.</line><br />
<line start="1250" end="1342" speaker="crack">If we don't give them the means to protect themselves when we come clear-cut their bamboo forests<br /> and build a five-star resort, who will?</line><br />
<line start="1350" end="1357" speaker="crack"><em>(very angrily)</em> <em>I</em> said several limes! This is two limes!</line><br />
<line start="1358" end="1393"><crack><em>(very angrily)</em> <em>I</em> said several limes! This is two limes!</crack><sfx volume="0.7">chainsaw</sfx></line><br />
<line start="1394" end="1396" speaker="sfx">bip</line><br />
<line start="1397" end="1454" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">Pistols For Pandas: This good cause is good...'cause!</line><br />
<line start="1491" end="1510"><span style="visibility:hidden"><crack>...</crack></span><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line><br />
<line start="1511" end="1577"><silentrip>Uh, Cheat Commander, are we supposed to be fighting the pandas or helping them?</silentrip><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line><br />
<line start="1578" end="1621"><gunhaver>Who cares? I'm just psyched I got my old job back!</gunhaver><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line><br />
<line start="1622" end="1643"><gunhaver>I love voice acting!</gunhaver><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line><br />
<line start="1644" end="1662"><gunhaver sfx="yes">babbling</gunhaver><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line><br />
<line start="1663" end="1686"><gunhaver>Look at that sweet, sweet lip synch.</gunhaver><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line><br />
<line start="1687" end="1702"><span style="visibility:hidden"><crack>...</crack></span><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line><br />
</transcript><br />
</pre><br />
[[Category:English Subtitles]]<br />
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