Pistols For Pandas (organization) - Revision history

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← Older revision		Revision as of 14:24, 14 July 2026
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	~~<div class="thumb tright">~~		''For the [[Toons\|toon]], see [[Pistols for Pandas]].''

	~~<div class="thumbinner" style="width~~:~~182px;">~~		https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/4/44/pistols_for_pandas.png/180px-pistols_for_pandas.png

	~~[[File:pistols for pandas~~.~~png\|[[File:pistols_for_pandas~~.~~png\|180px\|thumb]]]]~~		''"This good cause is good...'cause!"''
	~~<div class="thumbcaption~~">

	~~<div class="magnify">~~		https://web.archive.org/web/20211001000000im_/http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/6/6f/Pistolsforfigginpandas.png

	~~[[File:pistols for pandas.png\|[[File:magnify~~-~~clip.png\|15px\|thumb]]]]~~		''PFP is already in the T-Shirt business!''

	~~</div>~~		'''Pistols For Pandas''' (or '''PFP''') is a non-profit organization that aims to give [[Pistols\|pistols]] to [[Bears\|pandas]]. [[Crack Stuntman]] is the national spokesperson for the group. In [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2]], Stuntman calls and leaves a message telling [[Marzipan]] to stop protesting at their rallies. In [[Fan Costumes '09]], he says that the work is "court ordered," even though he was clearly being paid when he did a commercial for the organization. He describes pandas as "stupid, fat, slow creatures", saying they "need all the firepower they can get" so that they can protect themselves "when we come clear-cut their bamboo forests and build a five-star resort". PFP claims to have supplied guns to three hundred "underprivileged and unarmed" pandas. The logo shows an angry-looking panda with guns for eyebrows.
	~~"This good cause~~ is ~~good~~...'~~cause!"~~

	~~</div>~~		As explained in the toon [[Pistols for Pandas]], for each dollar they receive, they laugh at it (because what good is a dollar going to do?); but for every five-dollar donation received, one box of cereal is bought containing the best prize. Crack Stuntman eats the cereal, plays with the prize, and then removes the box top from the box. When the organization collects enough box tops, Crack dresses up like a fifth grader, takes them to a local school and buys the school a computer. After "charming the horn-rimmed glasses off the media center lady", Crack sneaks out with the computer, takes it to a local pawn shop, and finally exchanges it for pistols, which are dumped into the panda habitat at the local zoo.

	~~</div>~~

	~~</div>~~
	~~<div class="thumb tleft">~~

	~~<div class="thumbinner" style="width:169px;">~~

	~~[[File:Pistolsforfigginpandas.png\|[[File:Pistolsforfigginpandas.png\|167px\|thumb]]]]~~
	~~<div class="thumbcaption">~~

	~~<div class="magnify">~~

	~~[[File:Pistolsforfigginpandas.png\|[[File:magnify-clip.png\|15px\|thumb]]]]~~

	~~</div>~~
	~~PFP is already in the T-Shirt business!~~

	~~</div>~~

	~~</div>~~

	~~</div>~~
	'''Pistols For Pandas''' (or '''PFP''') is a non-profit organization that aims to give [[Pistols\|pistols]] to [[Bears\|pandas]]. [[Crack Stuntman]] is the national spokesperson for the group. In [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2]], Stuntman calls and leaves a message telling [[Marzipan]] to stop protesting at their rallies. In [[Fan Costumes '09]], he says that the work is "court ordered," even though he was clearly being paid when he did a commercial for the organization. He describes pandas as "stupid, fat, slow creatures", saying they "need all the firepower they can get" so that they can protect themselves "when we come clear-cut their bamboo forests and build a five-star resort". PFP claims to have supplied guns to three hundred "underprivileged and unarmed" pandas. The logo shows an angry-looking panda with guns for eyebrows.

	As explained in the toon [[Pistols for Pandas]], for each dollar they receive, they laugh at it (because what good is a dollar going to do?); but for every five-dollar donation received, one box of cereal is bought containing the best prize. Crack Stuntman eats the cereal, plays with the prize, and then removes the box top from the box. When the organization collects enough box tops, Crack dresses up like a fifth grader, takes them to a local school and buys the school a computer. After ~~"~~charming the horn-rimmed glasses off the media center lady~~"~~, Crack sneaks out with the computer, takes it to a local pawn shop, and finally exchanges it for pistols, which are dumped into the panda habitat at the local zoo.

	As of [[Halloween Safety]], [[Crack Stuntman]] had been fired due to the organization finding out about his line of frozen panda-burger patties.		As of [[Halloween Safety]], [[Crack Stuntman]] had been fired due to the organization finding out about his line of frozen panda-burger patties.

	~~<span id~~=~~"appearances"></span>~~		== Appearances ==
	=~~= <span class="mw-headline">~~Appearances~~</span>~~ ==

	* '''Debut:''' [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2]] (mentioned)		* '''Debut:''' [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2]] (mentioned)
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	* [[Fan Costumes '09]]		* [[Fan Costumes '09]]
	* [[Halloween Safety]] (mentioned)		* [[Halloween Safety]] (mentioned)
			[[Category:Organizations]]
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	~~<div id="mw-normal-catlinks">~~

	~~[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">~~[[Category:~~Organizations\|~~Organizations]]~~</span>~~

	~~</div>~~

	~~</div>~~

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← Older revision		Revision as of 01:53, 14 July 2026
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	<!-- Mirrored from Homestar Runner Wiki (hrwiki.org) via Wayback Machine; HTML converted to wikitext. Formatting may be imperfect. -->		<!-- Mirrored from Homestar Runner Wiki (hrwiki.org) via Wayback Machine; HTML converted to wikitext. Formatting may be imperfect. -->
	~~''For the [[Toons\|toon]], see [[Pistols for Pandas]].''~~		<div class="thumb tright">

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imported>HRWikiMirrorBot: Imported from hrwiki.org via Wayback Machine (HTML→wikitext)

2026-07-14T01:53:31Z

Imported from hrwiki.org via Wayback Machine (HTML→wikitext)

New page

''For the [[Toons|toon]], see [[Pistols for Pandas]].''

<div class="thumb tleft">

<div class="thumbinner" style="width:182px;">

[[File:pistols for pandas.png|[[File:pistols_for_pandas.png|180px|thumb]]]]
<div class="thumbcaption">

<div class="magnify">

[[File:pistols for pandas.png|[[File:magnify-clip.png|15px|thumb]]]]

</div>
"This good cause is good...'cause!"

</div>

</div>

</div>
<div class="thumb tright">

<div class="thumbinner" style="width:169px;">

[[File:Pistolsforfigginpandas.png|[[File:Pistolsforfigginpandas.png|167px|thumb]]]]
<div class="thumbcaption">

<div class="magnify">

[[File:Pistolsforfigginpandas.png|[[File:magnify-clip.png|15px|thumb]]]]

</div>
PFP is already in the T-Shirt business!

</div>

</div>

</div>
'''Pistols For Pandas''' (or '''PFP''') is a non-profit organization that aims to give [[Pistols|pistols]] to [[Bears|pandas]]. [[Crack Stuntman]] is the national spokesperson for the group. In [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2]], Stuntman calls and leaves a message telling [[Marzipan]] to stop protesting at their rallies. In [[Fan Costumes '09]], he says that the work is "court ordered," even though he was clearly being paid when he did a commercial for the organization. He describes pandas as "stupid, fat, slow creatures", saying they "need all the firepower they can get" so that they can protect themselves "when we come clear-cut their bamboo forests and build a five-star resort". PFP claims to have supplied guns to three hundred "underprivileged and unarmed" pandas. The logo shows an angry-looking panda with guns for eyebrows.

As explained in the toon [[Pistols for Pandas]], for each dollar they receive, they laugh at it (because what good is a dollar going to do?); but for every five-dollar donation received, one box of cereal is bought containing the best prize. Crack Stuntman eats the cereal, plays with the prize, and then removes the box top from the box. When the organization collects enough box tops, Crack dresses up like a fifth grader, takes them to a local school and buys the school a computer. After "charming the horn-rimmed glasses off the media center lady", Crack sneaks out with the computer, takes it to a local pawn shop, and finally exchanges it for pistols, which are dumped into the panda habitat at the local zoo.

As of [[Halloween Safety]], [[Crack Stuntman]] had been fired due to the organization finding out about his line of frozen panda-burger patties.

<span id="appearances"></span>
== <span class="mw-headline">Appearances</span> ==

* '''Debut:''' [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2]] (mentioned)
* [[An Important Rap Song]] (logo)
* [[Punkin Stencils|Halloween Stencils]]
* [[Pistols for Pandas]]
* [[Fan Costumes '09]]
* [[Halloween Safety]] (mentioned)

<div id="catlinks" class="catlinks">

<div id="mw-normal-catlinks">

[/wiki/Special:Categories Category]: <span dir="ltr">[[Category:Organizations|Organizations]]</span>

</div>

</div>